Quick! It's Slipping Between The Floorboards! It's Escaping!

OMG I FOUND THE CAT PAW RING HERE!!

okay so i finished checking if we were friends in every universe and, uh, it turns out we're only friends in 6 of them. but look, i need you to understand these universes vary like crazy, okay? like 6 is actually insanely high, like way higher than most. and one of those is the universe where i accidentally killed the actor who played Dipsy from Teletubbies when i was 7 and my life went completely differently as a result. and we still ended up friends! also you were a girl in that universe for some reason. what? oh, uh, yeah, you were cute as hell. like really cute. did you just fucking giggle

Awwww

you've got 2 admit that the oft repeated command to "touch grass" in itself illustrates a great disconnect from the tru wholesomeness of the offline world. unless you meant a kind of wild grass, a lovely tassel cord rush or even the humble rattlesnake grass. but we know that's not what they mean. to the chronically online, grass = lawn and nothing more. and a lawn is an abomination on par with the worst brainworms big online has to offer. touching a lawn will not help you. You've got to go injure yourself on some swordgrass for god's sake

The makeover spider ///\oὁȍ◡őὀo/\\\

A guy in an entomology group I'm in got a confirmed brown recluse bite because he felt something tickle his neck and brushed it off, accidentally mashing the spider against his skin. This is how almost all recluse bites happen since they're very very unaggressive. Anyway the bite was just a small nasty spot that cleared up on its own, but his hands and feet swelled up really bad. Then when the swelling went back down, all his calluses were loose and just fell right off leaving his hands and feet like brand new???????????

I absolutely love how the first three are still letting some light through but the last is so chonkey that they blot out the whole thing XD

Newser

World's 3 Richest Men Will Sit Together at Inauguration

Insider says Musk, Bezos, Zuckerberg will be on platform with Trump's Cabinet nominees

The people in the top three spots on Forbes' billionaire list—Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg—will have prime seats at President-elect Trump's inauguration next week. NBC News, citing "an official involved with the planning of the event," reports that the three tech billionaires will be sitting together on the platform with other high-profile guests, including Trump's Cabinet nominees. Bezos and Zuckerberg's companies, Amazon and Meta, have each donated $1 million to the inauguration, while Musk spent more than $250 million to help Trump win the election, reports Reuters.

Aaaww lil caterpillar picked a perfect leaf to monch on