my blog is just random shit i find funny, don't expect anything from it ((art the in the avatar is not mine - it belongs to HEXAES)) PL/ENG/FR
143 posts
two rides
matchablossom stans: joe carries cherry after he’s injured
sk8: joe carries cherry after he’s injured
matchablossom stans:
Southeastern Europe did a thing
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”
and after the curse she is only able to post screenshots
modern au where narcissus is a tiktok influencer and echo runs a fanpage
HERE WE GO AGAIN
Random guy: So is Hange Zoe like, y’know, with someone?
Levi: Now when you say ‘with someone’, do you mean as in ‘in a romantic/sexual/personal monogamous relationship with a man who will go to war with any and every fuckboi in this proximity for their heart’? Then the answer is yes.
Levi: Oh and that man is me, so I’ve got my fucking eye on you.
broke: midsommar is a girl power movie
woke: midsommar is a horror movie about a manipulative cult
bespoke: midsommar is a litmus test to tell how easily you could be indoctrinated into a cult and if your first thought after watching it is that it was a girl power movie you’re very susceptible to cult tactics and you should be aware of that
SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 15 OF THE MANDALORIAN
H E T O O K H I S H E L M E T O F F AAAAA DIN DOES SO MUCH FOR THE BABY I AM CRYING OMFG IT'S SO BITTERSWEET
DADA IS MAD
U BETTER WATCH OUT, GIDEON
off top mayfeld having sexual tension with everyone, even the fucking droid, is the best thing on the planet
omg this is the fucking saddest thing I have read... don't let this post die please... let this spread!
i was on a video call with my girlfriend again today from 2 pm to 5 pm, and we discussed the following:
she once again was unable to sign on for class due to wifi issues.
she hadn’t had any food or water yet
when she finally did eat, it was french toast
she didn’t get water, but instead a sprite, which at least has water in it
she has anorexia, along with another kind (arfid? i don’t remember) that isn’t very common, but it basically means she has to have certain foods at certain temperatures, which is why she likes cheez-its but not cheese
she ADHD, anxiety, ODD, OCD, ASD, and depression, and she’s going to be tested for tourette’s
her eating disorder started when she was six, and when she was eight she was on adderall when she was eight for about a year before she was taken off the medication, because if she had continued taking it she would have literally starved to death
the guidance counselor at our school told her that:
she didn’t look mentally disabled
she didn’t have an eating disorder, it was just the medication
she couldn’t use they/them pronouns
we both agreed that the previous school year wasn’t good for either of us because:
she pulled all-nighters every night
due to the constant all-nighters, she often fell asleep in class
she was mostly running off of anxiety
i would break down crying at least three times a day due to sheer stress
she was to stressed to eat, and i didn’t have the time
it took a serious toll on our mental, emotional, and physical health
there are a lot of things that a lot of people don’t understand, but please understand this: my girlfriend’s been through so much her whole life, and i can’t pretend that i know how hard it is, or that i’ve had it even nearly as bad as she has. she’s stuck inside and i want to help her so much, but i don’t know how to. so every note this post gets is a day she has to take good care of herself. she is an amazing person, and i hate seeing her hurting.
Konrad walking around his cell and ranting about how he's equal to God and can change whole world with his poems be like:
AND THEN HE JUST WALKS AWAY LMAO... what an icon
Some gorgeous person a while back made a post about if various other famous elves had been part of the fellowship instead of legolas, one of them being Maglor, and now I can’t stop thinking about that au
Elrond: Hi Frodo. This is my dad. He’ll be coming with you on your impossible quest.
Frodo: Wait, I thought your dad was Earendil? Bilbo did a whole musical number about it.
Elrond: Yes, that was awkward for all of us. Have fun!
(more hilarious outtakes beneath cut)
Czytaj dalej
Using the hobbit age of adulthood (33) and average life expectancy (100), and comparing them to the legal age of adulthood in 1937 England (21) and life expectancy at the time (~late 50s early 60s):
Frodo (51, physically unchanged since 33) is the equivalent of a human 32-33 year old, and looks 21
Sam (39) is the equivalent of a human 24-25 year old
Merry (37) is the equivalent of a human 23-24 year old
And Pippin (29) is the equivalent of a human 18-19 year old, and by both hobbit and 1937 English tradition, still underage.
When we first meet them before the timeskip:
Frodo (33) - the equivalent of a 21 year old (barely, it was the days after his birthday)
Sam (21) - the equivalent of a human 13 year old (Which is adorable, bc his father describes him as constantly being over at the Baggins’ house, listening raptly to Bilbo’s stories)
Merry (19) - the equivalent of a human 12 year old (which is really funny because Merry is chilling at Frodos house and helping him distribute the stuff from Bilbo’s will and kind of affectionately sasses Frodo quité a bit and that’s so much funnier thinking of Merry as a literal child, which didn’t occur to me when I was listening to that scene)
We don’t meet Pippin but he’d be 11. The equivalent of a human 7 year old.
During the timeskip it talks about how Frodo mostly hangs out with the younger hobbits and is closest to Merry and Pippin out of everyone, and when I was listening, I was just like “oh okay his friends just happen to be younger” but no they were both literal kids for most of that timeskip, Frodo’s that guy who hangs out with kids because grownups all exhaust him.
(and meanwhile, the kids are just like LOOK ITS OUR COOL BIG BROTHER FRODO)
Bonus – I don’t remember the exact numbers, but Bilbo is basically a guy in his 80s who looks 33. Which really drives the ring thing home imo
It’s the end of the year, so it’s time for a decade redraw! I chose my piece of Legolas after the battle at the gates of Mordor, which I first drew while in New Zealand in 2009. I liked the idea of him having lost/given away/destroyed his arm guard in the chaos of the previous few weeks. My redraw is sort of the next breath, when he looks up and realizes that the gates are down, the mountain is crumbling, and the tower of Barad-Dur with its fiery eye is no longer standing.
I know I haven’t posted as much LotR content since my own books started being published, but I have a lot of feelings about this character and this scene in particular. Legolas is practically the last Elf anybody would choose to go on a quest to save Middle Earth. He’s the least noble of any Elvish heroes, with absolutely no deeds to his name besides losing Gollum (oops), he’s from the least of the Elf-realms, and he has unremarkable lineage at best and bleak family history at worst. His grandfather led a disastrous charge at the Battle of Dagorlad that got his whole company killed (Book of Unfinished Tales), which Thranduil witnessed first hand. The passage that comes after is one of my favorites:
“[Thranduil] had seen the horror of Mordor and could not forget it. If ever he looked south, its memory dimmed the light of the sun, and though he knew that it was now broken and deserted and under the vigilance of the Kings of Men, fear spoke in his heart that it was not conquered forever: it would arise again.”
And now here’s his son, who almost certainly expected to die that day for a world he has no moral obligation to, surrounded by absolutely none of his kin, sitting on the threshold of Mordor, instrument of Sauron’s final destruction and LIKE? Come on, that’s a great arc.
i don't remember the books so well, what is legolas' personality like in them? all i remember is tht the books and movie where massively different?
Oh my dear anon. I could go on about book Legolas for hours.
Book Legolas is a sassy little sh*t who skips on the surface of the snow when everyone else is drowning in it up to their waists and carrying the four hobbits. Book Legolas sleeps with his eyes open. He watches Aragorn throw himself to the groud and listen to the sound of running horses, only to say afterwards, “yeah, there are a hundred and five of them, they’re all blond and they all have spears nbd“. Book Legolas cries that Gollum escaped grom Mirkwood right after everyone was like, “phew, it’s good that Thranduil’s elves keep an eye on him, what could go wrong???“. He screams all the time, and occasionally drops his bow too. He kills a warg, shooting it right in the throat with a burning arrow. Book Legolas is a trees stan. Book Legolas walk away singing “To the Sea! To the Sea!“. Book Legolas is not afraid of zombies, thank you very much. He addreses his friends “children“, even though he is probably the youngest elf in Middle-Earth that we know of. And of course, book Legolas takes none of your bs, builds his own grey boat because who says he can’t sail on his own ship right, packs his best friend and shows up in Valinor 120 years late with Starbucks and a dwarf.
'my significant bother' lmaooo
my esteemed rival,
pop culture intertextuality is just so damn *fascinating*
today a parody movie (50 shades of black) comes out, based on the 50 shades of grey movie, which was based on the 50 shades book, which was based on twilight, which was somewhat based on interview with the vampire (which anne rice based on an earlier short story she wrote), which was based on Dracula and other vampire stories, which originally came from Dr. John Polidori’s The Vampyre (even though Vampires were a thing in folk tales before then, he was the one who made them all classy, etc.)
so really, like so many things, this is all Lord Byron’s fault.
americans on twitter commenting on protests in Belarus saying shit like "this is whats gonna happen in november look closely" like... FUCK YOU!!! this isnt about your problems with Trump, dont compare 25 years of Lukashenko's presidency, who's literally called the last dictator of europe, with 4 years of Trump okay. just dont.
klaus, to his cult: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they're gonna clean up ur looks,,, with all the lies in the books,,, to make a citizen out of you,,,
i want someone to buy pink smoothies with & sing ‘i wanna hold your hand’ on a sidewalk but without ever holding hands
especially in vulnerable state
my biggest regret today...
first of all, wear a fucking mask, don’t be an asshole! yeah it’s uncomfortable, this is the reason it works wash your hands, avoid gatherings also media manipulating citizens is a shitty thing to do & they should treat us like adults & give us the information we deserve - on this part i perfectly agree with you
but this situation is far more complicated than ‘bussinesses want your money’ unfortunately, we have to come ‘back to normal’ (in an economical way) freezing economy is a very short-time solution bc our society is based on this; without bussinesses earning money people wouldn’t be able to get paid & support their families (that’s why so many people got fired during pandemic), without people earning money goverment would’t be able to support them financially (or do literally anything) bc of the lack of taxes. support system would be based on people (billionaires) who really don’t have to help anyone if they don’t want to, no one can force them
(ofc there’s also a problem with poorer countries, what they’re gonna do
little bussinesses would have to get closed, food production also would freeze which always results in lack of food, i won’t even start on what the fuck would happen to the healthcare system etc. it’s a simple thing but many people don’t even think about this bc it’s a more complicated issue this is also why covid-19 is such a tragedy: without freezing economy people will die from the virus & with it - people will die from hunger...
i am ofc aware of the fact that you perfectly realize that... but many people don’t. and showing only one side of the situation can be pretty harmful
ofc i don’t want to defend those who use the pandemic in their favour without any regard on human lives but we (as a society) are based on capitalism & it has downsides and upsides as everything else
sorry for any mistakes, english is not my mother tongue
why is everyone pretending like things are back to normal now? governments wanna open up schools and universities again, the news is no longer reporting the covid-19 pandemic the way it was a month ago, people have started having get-togethers and birthday parties again and meanwhile scientists think that covid-19 is airborne now?! like... we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic and it's worse than we thought. people are dying because they think things are "back to normal" again. no they're fucking not!! the government and the businesses just want your fucking money!! this is just capitalism at play because as usual, they don't give a fuck if you die as long as you just give them your money. so please wear a mask, please wash your hands and please socially distance!! and remember things are not back to normal!!!
not stanning mantis is a sin
the tea is that if mantis was a white, conventially pretty woman without an accent, she’d be adored and stanned far more and thats that
Byron *probably at least once*:
I’m not dead, I’ve just been on vacation.
Raise your hand if you’re hopelessly obsessed with dead poets and/or authors that have been dead for almost a century or more
i’ll stop making hamlet memes when i’m dead
okay, i am, i confess
Love being brutally called out by the British Library