I Can Teach You

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

Me when it's that time of the month (full moon)

i died like 5 years ago my body just kept going

HE KEPT CHECKING IN ON HIM 🥲🥲🥲

Here yall go my mer/siren danny design

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

ancient persian poet within first 15 minutes of being dropped in the 21st century and handed a smart phone, commenting on some woman's instagram reel: I would take off my finest coat, and make slippers from its silk, so that I could gift them to you, so that every single morning, the first thing you do is step on me.

City of Stars…

has this been done yet