"that's Literally Impossible For Me To Pronounce, I'm Calling You Bob Now." The New Human, Mia, Stated

"dead dove: do not eat" dead dove, ᴘʀᴇʜᴇᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴠᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴍɪɴɪᴍᴜᴍ ᴏꜰ 500 ᴅᴇɢʀᴇᴇꜱ ꜰᴀʜʀᴇɴʜᴇɪᴛ. dead dove, ʀᴏᴀꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴛᴏᴛᴀʟ ᴏꜰ ꜰɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱɪx ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇꜱ.

you ever think about how shrimp is kinda like the meat version of oranges...

Humans can be heard yelling from one of the bedrooms. An alien crewmate, nicknamed Bob, goes to check it out, fearing the worst.

"plus 4, Uno."

"you bitch!"

the humans are gathered in a circle on the ground with colorful cards. one of them notices him.

"oh hey Bob, wanna join us? we're playing Uno."

Bob shakes his head and backs out of the room carefully.

♤♡♧◇

part2

♤♡♧◇

"Heads up!" a voice yelled, causing all eight of them to look up towards the cloaked figure in a tree. An arrow embedded itself between a bokoblin's eyes, effectively killing it. The mysterious hylian then jumped down, landing on another bokoblin, crushing it, and immediately moved to engulf a moblin in flames. In less than a minute, the remaining monsters were all dead. 

This was the first hylian they'd seen since arriving in this desolate Hyrule.

"Y’all good? No injuries?" Closer up they could see a freckled nose and a small grin, but the shadow of the cloak’s hood covered the strangers eyes. 

"Other than a few bruises and scrapes, nope." Time answered for the group.

"Neat. Have some chunks- just in case." the stranger said, tossing a bag over to him. "Crush them in your hand and sprinkle it over injuries. Or just eat 'em. Whichever is easier." Having said that, he turned and left to pluck his arrow from the bokoblin.

"Hey wait, what's your name? Where's the nearest town? We haven't seen anyone for ages!" Wind rushed to get it all out before the stranger could leave. He turned around, putting the arrow back in his quiver. 

"The name's Fay. And I think the nearest town is about two days to the south."

~

Link, who goes by Fay nowadays, would very much like to go home, re-bandage his leg, and go to sleep. Alas, sleep is unavailable, as he needs to stop the deaths of some odd travelers who somehow have no clue where they are. Isn't it common sense to only go on these types of roads if you’re well prepared and know what you're doing? Apparently not. 

He finally shook them off after giving directions to the nearest town and heading in the opposite direction. Or so he thought…

Three days later, he came across another monster camp. That wasn’t unusual. The monsters were a bit tougher and had black blood. That was unusual. Fay defeated them all the same with a sword, fire, and some lightning. 

Which was when the odd group showed up. Again. 

"Hello again! I thought you went a different direction than us." the white-caped one spoke up. 

"You weren't following us, were you?" the blue-scarved one asked with narrowed eyes. 

Fay flicked the black blood off his sword before sheathing it. It seemed to catch the attention of quite a few. "I was, but now I'm here. I’m a traveler.”

The one with a wolf’s pelt blinked, processing that, then glanced at the one with one eye. “We went to the village, but they wouldn't let us in. Something about eyes?”

Fay shrugged, “It happens. People are often spread thin on resources and wary of newcomers. The eyes of Ganon are everywhere after all.”

Before any of them could reply he tilted his head, starting to feel a strange tug on his magic. A dark purple and black portal opened beneath their feet, slurping them all up.

♤♡♧◇

Chunks/ කෑලි (kǣli): crystalized fairy dust. It has a similar Mohs to chalk. The fairies don't have to leave their fountains spending days in a bottle, and hylians don't have to spare precious resources. "Why can't you just eat the chunks? Isn't that the obviously easier option?" you may ask. Well, if you eat the chunk, the effect will be equally spread about. The chunk doesn't know what the fuck you want it to do. if you crush and sprinkle it over an injury, the effects will be stronger and targeted to that one area.

♤♡♧◇

The brain rot wouldn't leave, so I wrote somethin. Credit to my sister who beta read. <3 I write once in a green moon. Today was a green moon.

SCS - Black Cat

by @decayingdarlings & @ena-113

how a game of telestrations went one night:

our beloved diver <3

hey y'all, it's the anniversary of the ao3 ddos attk🌟

and coincidentally, I got my invitation to ao3 today!! :D

so, yknow, look out for that.

Pic by @bobcross1010

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

this is like my favoritest thing ever. also love how this is how i end up introducing my little homemade blorbo to the internet.

the sister agrees, she is absolutely in love with the lil comic. also says you absolutely nailed Rei's characterization and behavior.

a bonus answer as to what she's dreaming of.

it's oranges. im planning on a bit of a gag with oranges. they're how she starts teaching shika "divine tounge", or, yk english.

I plan on publishing her on ao3, not so sure how soon, though I did have a big burst of energy and inspo recently

first person who reblogs this with a picture of their oc and a little blurb ab them, Ill draw ur oc for u (quality not guaranteed)

my mouth hurts like hell

I want to punch my orthodontist and tear out his jaw

.... but that'd be mean, so maybe not