"you Know, You're The Best Patient I've Had All Day!"

Today's vibe is fantasizing about kidnapping your coworkers and forcing them to watch several hundred hours of cross-contamination prevention seminars

Thinking about the EMT I used to know that was a former marine, went to Afghanistan and when he came back was extremely critical of the government, super honest about everything he saw there and was real big into socialism. Dude still knew guys who had a lot of background knowledge on things that happened during the bush administration and had a lot of insider information on local politics.

This guy was tough, but didn't look it. Used to be a hellraiser in his youth, picking up chicks in his Harley and getting into fights all the time. When I met he was looking into unionizing the company and getting into fights on Facebook about economics.

Dude ended up retiring a couple years back. Two months later is when the first covid lockdowns hit. To this day I still think he knew.

Me: okay, so imagine for a moment... That the monitor is your patient, ok?

Trainee: okay...

Me: so, the wires for the leads are kind of like your spinal cord. The spine can bend a little bit, but it usual only wants to bend one way, and you don't want it to bend too much or get pinched, right?

Trainee: I... Sure?

Me: Right Right, so... The way you wrapped these leads... If this monitor were a patient, I'd be checking for a priapism.

Update: Olive smell came back but I was spared it's wrath because I spilled my coffee

Got in the truck today and it smelled inexplicably like olives.

I don't know why it smelled like olives.

I didn't find any olives.

I didn't even like olives.

But either way I wasn't having it.

So now the truck smells like bleach.

Hey everyone, I'm Cece

I finally got around to making a blog for EMS related posts. Read the pinned carefully as some of our menu options have changed or whatever

If this is a medical emergency, please stop doomscrolling my blog and dial the emergency service number for your country

I am an Emergency Medical Technician that mostly deals with interfacility transfers. Most of what I do is critical care, but sometimes I do other stuff.

The purpose of this blog is mostly to post funny haha stuff, but I'll try to keep things educational as well.

That said, I am also going to keep things HIPAA friendly, so don't expect anything that would have sensitive info. Sorry guys, no war stories.

FAQ

Q: Is the Trans stuff really necessary?

A: yes

Q: I'm dealing with pain/coughing/vomiting blood/insert symptoms here. What do I do?

A: I am not authorized to diagnose you or give medical advice over the Internet. Please call your doctor if you have one. Otherwise go to an urgent care or an ER.

Q: Can I send you a story about an experience I had as a patient?

A: I'll accept submissions like this at my discretion as long as they don't include any identifying information

Q: Can I send you a story about an experience I had as a provider?

A: As long as it's not something violating someone's privacy rights or belittling anyone, then I'll handle these on a case by case basis

I'll update the FAQ as I think of more questions. If you want to ask me something that isn't related to EMS you can find me on my main @hippieghost

you may have been spared the olive smell, but RIP to your coffee

We make a lot of sacrifices on the boo boo bus, but they never warned me about this 😭

im a trans new emt and i was wondering how you deal w day to day stuff

I feel like this is going to be a very "your mileage may vary" response, because a lot of this is going to depend on things like where you live, whether you do 911 or transport, and even what kind of crews you come across, but having been an EMT for several years, there are a few things that help me get through it:

First, from a trans perspective, it's important to remember that most people, most normal people, aren't going to look at you coming in and see a trans person. Most likely, they're going to see an EMT who is there to help. When I make patient contact, I introduce myself by my chosen name, and I immediately show care to the patient and whatever problem they're having. More often than not, they don't realize they're talking to a trans person despite my not passing extremely well.

I also wear a mask with every patient. This gives me the benefit of protecting myself and the patient, but also hides my stubble if I didn't shave well that day. Most people don't comment on it, and those that do would be unsafe anyway to be around.

Personally, the biggest factor for me for feeling safe on the job is my crew. I'm fortunate to be with a company that is very pro-queer, and so I tend to be with crew members that are accepting, even if they're a little confused about it. Finding a company, whether public or private, with good protection policies is really important.

From a more general EMT perspective, a few pointers I have that apply to pretty much any EMT:

Pack your lunch every day. Seriously. It's way cheaper than fast food and you'll be happier for it. If you don't have an office to go back to between runs, get a heated lunchbox that you can plug into the truck charge port. They usually run about 30 bucks and pay for themselves in about 2 weeks.

Pay attention to which EMT's care and which ones don't. The ones who care and show experience usually have good habits and good advice.

TRUST YOURSELF. I mean it. You passed the course. You know what you need to do in an emergency. The first time you run a code, it'll be the scariest time of your life, but you'll do it. You'll get through it. You won't be alone. Just remember your basics.

Seriously. Pack a lunch. Bring your own coffee or tea too while you're at it. (Cold brew you can set up the night before to save time in the morning)

There's a reason night shift has high turn around. If you want a lot of action, go to nights. If you want to keep your will to live, stick with mornings.

Don't rely on naps. If you get to take them because it's a slow day. Great. But if you go to work every day expecting to get one in, you will not.

Most importantly though...

You're going to see a lot with this job. Every day you're going to meet people having the worst day of their life. You'll save lives. You'll do everything you can for someone that isn't gonna make it and it's gonna suck. One day you'll probably see someone you know on your stretcher, and your job will follow you home every time a loved one ends up sick. There's not gonna be an easy way to deal with all of this, but time will teach you how to endure it.

The best way I've found so far is to not go through it alone.

Make time for your loved ones. Lean on them, and let them lean on you. You've chosen the path of the caretaker, but that doesn't mean you're the only one.

You got this.

Now seriously. Pack your lunch.

I can see the memo now

"in light of recent events, please remember to wear appropriate PPE when handling patients. In addition, please refrain from using the term 'rawdogging' in reference to our patients, particularly when friends and family are present. If you have any questions, please reach out to your supervisor for further direction."

stupid fucking coworker ass meme posted in the work group chat BUT!!!!!!!! it made me do a laugh.

Hey dispatch, did they tell you guys what the patient's being transferred for?

Yeah he swallowed a penny

Oh, well there you have it. That makes sense. This hospital only deals in nickles and dimes.

The amount of times I have to remind coworkers to wear GLOVES with patients is way too high

stupid fucking coworker ass meme posted in the work group chat BUT!!!!!!!! it made me do a laugh.