Emptyspaxes - Bisho

shoutout to offputting autistic people

When I have a migraine...

I will irrationally hate anyone and anything that makes noise. 

I don’t make the rules, I just gotta hate.

This blog is not participating in the Tumblr "Blackout"

Why? It's the start of Disability Pride month. Much of the systems in society are deliberately hostile to disabled folk, even the ones that are supposed to "help" them. Pride last month around the world held events that weren't accessible for disabled queers. These people are routinely cut out from society, assaulted, harrassed, and treated less than second class. People will physically move people in wheelchairs out of their way, cut them off, and stand in front of them as they try to move. They're shamed, insulted, laughed at, and mocked.

I know many are upset about Tumblrs recent changes, but if you truly want to help increase the accessibility of this site, especially for the sight or hearing impared or those who need to use third party applications to help them navigate the site, then a blackout isn't the way to do it. What you can do is add disability tags to your liked tags, or search up disability tags and see what disabled folk are saying they need from the site and either pay to blaze or come together as a community to amplify their voices and drown out ableists that constantly put them down. Disabled people face unique bigotry and deserve to have their needs blasted to the crowd and actions taken by abled folk to help them in the way they ask to be helped. One of the biggest issues I commonly see is abled folk assuming they know whats best for someone with a disability. If you're not disabled in the way someone else is, never assume you know what their needs are; always ask and listen closely.

This is a link to the proposed blackout and further reasons at the bottom why you shouldn't join this attempt, largely because Tumblr is set up in such a way that a blackout would do nothing but silence disabled voices:

Do not join the blackout. Go support disabled folk instead. Sit down and listen to them. They've a lot to be angry about, and it's damn time people listened.

“Why should rich people pay more” because fuck ‘em

“So you are okay for paying more when you have money” I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘em’ when relevant

Things I have learned by joining the local Methodist Church’s coffee & knitting circle (where I am the only person under 60 years old):

How to double knit very, very quickly

Mrs. Jonson on the third pew won’t mind her own business, bless her heart. And she buys her pies pre-made for all the church functions.

Ways that women cheated the system in 1950s Texas to get into college and start careers. Including a memorable “He told me I wouldn’t last a week, but then 6 years later, I had to let him go because his production was way down.” *drinks sip of coffee*

We Might Be Conservative But Gosh Darn That Trump Bless His Heart He Doesn’t Know Anything About God Or Texas

And On That Note, God And Texas Are The Only Good Things Left In The World. Erin Write That Down.

How to rescue a dropped stitch and make it look like it never happened

Public schools and inclusive, desegregated education will single-handedly save the world

Sharing recipes is a sacred bonding and community-building tradition that rivals the greatest political negotiations and land deals in history

“It’s better that you prefer girls honey, the Boyfriend Curse doesn’t apply to your girlfriend and a lovin’ god’ll keep on a-lovin. You better make that girl a sweater.’” 

(Boyfriend Curse = knit a sweater for a boy and he’ll leave you when you finish it)

Mrs. Barbara’s husband cheated in ‘76, resulting in a divorce. She thought it was the end of the world because her youth had already passed, but now she’s an engineer and married to a kind, good man who she met when she went back to college in ‘79.

“The only things you can trust in are God, your good sense, and the wisdom of those older women you grew up admiring. The rest is crap.”

Early Diagnosed Autistic peeps and Loss of Autonomy

I honestly get depressed reading my reports when I got diagnosed with autism when I was 5. Development delay, underachiever in language skills, reasoning skills, fine motor impairment, lack of speech fluency and lack of self esteem (no really I was terribly anxious).

I had interventions to improve my skills I can’t deny that. but at the cost of pathologizing me and making my mom dreadful of my prognosis. My childhood was me being aware of my pathological nature and that is traumatizing enough.

Bc I have this constant need to prove I’m able enough and I’m not too disabled that is costing too much of my mental health. I’m concerned about many today early diagnosed autistic kids. They come from a age where there is a lot of misinformation that their parents follow either to “treat their symptoms” or just to reinforce their ableist bias.

Besides that early diagnosed kids tend to have way less autonomy than their NT peers. We lose our position to speak so that our parents and institutions can speak over us in their own limited lenses. That is traumatizing. That is why you don’t hear a lot of early diagnosed kids’ perspectives. Not because they tend to be the ones with more limitations to speak as people want us to believe and there is AAC for a reason. Not just because it’s more difficult to have a ealy diagnosis. it’s ableism.

A chronic loss of autonomy and infantilization. Always being spoke over because they just keep assume that you can’t. You can’t speak for yourself. Well here is a thing. WE CAN SPEAK FOR OURSELVES.

I can. I always could given the proper accommodations. I knew what I needed to say. But after spending too much time unable to speak for myself took me a toll and now I become angry when I feel like people know better about my needs than me. Therefore, I’m perpetually mad.

I actually used my AAC in public today for the first time. I know this might not sound like much to some people, but when I have speaking issues and end up nonverbal or having a verbal communication issue (I don’t know what to call it without people getting mad at me) I normally just stop talking all together and isolate myself. This AAC really helped me so much today and I don’t feel so drained physically and mentally from work. I’m really happy so now I don’t have to go home and sleep the rest of my afternoon away, I can play a game or read!!

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Also, I don’t know what you’d call it that I have. I was nonverbal for well over 7 years and have on and off verbal issues where I can talk some days but most days I’m completely silent. Recently I’m having an episode that’s seeming to last about 4 days.

Being semi verbal feels like my first language isn't English and I can barely speck it and form together sentences with mouth words (and text if overwhelmed or burned out enough) , plus misunderstanding people and struggling to understand social cues and etc its like I'm a foreigner in a foreign country (or maybe even someone from a different dimension)

chest over knees gotta be the best position to stop the cramps