Why My Heart Hurts???

Thank you, dear.

Last Song: Safe Zone by J-Hope.

Last TV Show: American Horror Story

Last Movie: Dunki

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Definitely sweet. Sometimes savory

Last Thing I Googled: bdnaash

Current Obsession: Ben Barnes.

5 people I’d like to know better!

Tagged by both @sadrockandwaltzes and @yipeewahoo!

Last Song: The Ballad of Czolgosz

Last TV Show: I barely ever watch TV so I honestly have no idea 😭

Last Movie: Barbie! I know I’m super late to it lol

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory! I like sweet things too, but I have white person negative spice tolerance </3

Last Thing I Googled: umbc, I saw it used but didn’t know what it meant (it stands for university of Maryland Baltimore county)

Current Obsessions: linguistics, bts obviously, mechanical keyboards, love nikki (those are my special interests!), a separate peace!!! my beloved gay book, I go in and out of being really obsessed with Notion and currently I’m in the obsessed stage

Tags: @quillandink333 @dearly-somber @jknj @tanaka-drew @colth0und

Soulmates???

14 February, 2023 Approximately 2 in the morning

I woke up from a two hours sleep and couldn't force myself to go back to it (something of a bad habit I had grown since last month). I would walk around for quite some time, maybe chat with my mother if she's awake, walk a few more minutes, read something, write something, maybe walk again, check my phone, listen to music, etc. etc. etc.

It wasn't any different that day. I walked around the apartment and had many thoughts in my mind as usual. These thoughts turned into some real shits and at a point I was in a dreadful existential crisis. Music, being my friend at times like this, was an escape. The first song, also the only song I listened to, was 'So Far Away' by Agust D feat Suran.

Among many thoughts regarding my life, I also thought of Yoongi's. Those thoughts lead me to think that there wasn't any official performances of this mixtape of Suga (as far as I know). Knowing that it was released at least four years ago, I couldn't even dream of a concert based on it alone. I hope you can see where this is leading to...

15 February, 2023 Approximately 3:30 in the morning

I know I was late. But I got the update.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!

AGUST D and a so called WORLD TOUR???

The first thing I did was definitely listening to all the songs and building up some kind of feelings inside myself walking around the apartment all alone while the rest of the family sleeps.

But my second thought was something my mother says occasionally. According to her, she has some weird connection with my father spiritually that lets her feel things before hand. I'll go with a normal example; like my father calls her right at the time she was thinking of him or vice versa.

I'm not trying to sound crazy here but that was exactly what I thought and I laughed at myself too. Actually, it was a smile on my face. But I'm glad nobody was around to see it.

‘Wuthering Heights’ By Emily  Brontë Book Review

Genre: Gothic/Romance

Rating: 3/5

Summary: The story of Catherine Earnshaw and her foster brother, Heathcliff falling in love. But when Catherine is married to another man Heathcliff seek revenge on those he thinks are responsible.

My Opinion: I was confused throughout the whole book. Sometimes I liked it, sometimes I didn’t. The characters were hard to sympathize with. The decisions they made were crazy. Overall the whole book seemed like a mess.

Still, there were some memorable events which I can't deny that I really liked. The ending was satisfying too.

Favourite Character: Edgar Linton seemed like the only sane person in the entire book. He was a sensible person and I felt his judgements were right.

Quote: “You said I killed you--haunt me then.”

Happy Birthday to one of my favourite persons in this world...

My Mysterious Neighbour

Fandom: The Tale of the Nine Tailed

Characters: Lee Rang, reader, some bullies.

TW: Bullies (nothing too violent)

I couldn’t believe that my friend left for home without me just because I was in a detention. I waited for her when she was there. Now I had to walk home all alone through this seemingly vacant road.

I was in a really bad mood as I walked home thinking how terrible the day had been. As if the day could have been worse, I heard footsteps behind me. “y/n”, I stopped to turn back when I heard someone calling me, “where is your little girlfriend who’s always stuck to you with a glue?”

It was Henry, the biggest bully in our school. I noticed that his three sidekicks were also behind him chuckling like idiots in his not-really-funny joke. Then I saw something which sent a chill down my spine. Henry had a pocket knife in his hand.

“What are they gonna do to me?” I thought to myself as they approached me taking some slow steps. I knew Henry was not right in his head. Juniors from school feared him. But fortunately I never had to encounter him and his group. But I guess, my unfortunate day had arrived.

I knew there was nothing I could do since they were more in numbers. But I still needed to try. So I turned back and ran as fast as I could. I was never a good runner. In fact, I always came last in school races. They eventually caught up with me and one of them grabbed me by the hair. Tears came through my eyes as a sudden pain shot through my head.

“Stop!” I shouted at Henry and struggled to get free. They were all giggling like some crazy people. I doubt if any of them had any sanity left in them.

Then I saw a car came and parked beside us. They let go of my hair and I ran toward the car. I was relieved to see Lee Rang stepping out of it.

Lee Rang was my neighbour. We had crossed path once in a while but never really talked. I found him uniquely attractive and wanted to get acquainted.  But he always seemed like he had some urgent works and also there was always a girl with him.

He was surprisingly alone today and it seemed like he wasn’t busy either. “Need a hand?” I wondered whom he asked that question. “Of course not the bullies!” I thought to myself. Then he gave me reassuring smile and my temporary fear melt right away.

“Why don’t you come one at a time at her?”

“Who the fuck are you?” Henry shouted back at him.

Rang gave a sly smile and said, “Trust me, you don’t wanna find out.”

This made Henry mad somehow and he came at him with his knife. Rang grabbed his hand and twisted it, making the knife fall on the ground. Henry screamed in pain. The others didn’t dare to move.

“I’ll let you off today, little ones.” Rang told them, “Only don’t let me catch you again.”

Then he came back and lead me inside his car. We got in. He looked at me and asked in a rather gentler voice than before, “Are they angry tears on your face?”

“Yes!” I burst out, “I hate it came this way. If only I could punch him in his face!”

I didn’t expect Rang to laugh at this. He gave me twisted smile and asked, “then why don’t we go back and make your wish come true?”

Red Hope! - Part 2

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, heart condition, divorced parents, etc. Genre: Angst Summary: Leah’s little background check and the start of it all...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

*************************************************

The name’s Leah and I’m 17 years old. Being born with a heart murmur and having a heart surgery as a baby, gave me the advantage of being spoiled by my whole family.

My parents were originally from Trinidad and Tobago. But I was born and grew up in America. Everything in my life was great until I reached 9 and my parents got divorced, leaving my safe haven being torn apart from the center.

I said my last goodbye to my father with tears on my face and moved with my mother to South Korea. She remarried a South Korean retired marine within a year. My step-father too, like my biological one, spoiled me with everything I wanted.

The main problem was outside my house, the people from the neighborhood. I was always considered an outsider. Being the only black girl in school was really tough for me, until my best friend, Nina joined.

Then there was this boy in class, Jungkook. At first, I considered him to be extremely shy. I really liked him and wanted to be friends. But it turned out to be a nightmare.

Jungkook took me to meet his group of some older boys from the neighborhood. The first meeting proved how wrong I was about Jungkook. He was the naughtiest kid I had ever encountered whenever he was in front of his hyungs.

Speaking of his hyungs, they were crazy as hell. They teased me with such mean comments I never expected on a first meeting. I was on the verge of tearing up when one of them, Namjoon, stopped the others and told me to go away.

Since then I tried my best to avoid them. Even during classes I would avoid sitting with Jungkook and talking with him. But they didn’t give up. It seemed like they really enjoyed bullying me. During breaks, they would all come to our class often to tease me or to make some remarks about me, making others laugh.

This continued, even after we got into high school. Seemed like they always had something new for me and they never got bored. I tried my best to avoid them. But at times, I would aggressively react to their behaviors making them shut up for some days, only for them to return with more jokes after.

I did ballet since I was 2. It was something like breathing to me. I didn’t love doing it, but it was a part of me anyway. I was taking ballet class where every now and then I bumped into Hoseok and Jimin. They also took dance classes. Mostly when they were alone, they would either ignore me or would try to talk nicely. But if they were together, they could make me wish I never took the classes in the first place.

The boys’ behaviors were really confusing sometimes. Most people assumed we were close friends, since we could be seen together in many places, though it was always them following me. Sometimes the boys would actually try to treat me nicely and then again went back to being their old selves.

So, this was a life I was used to. The teasing and hurtful comments they made about me was somehow bearable until at a point, it got worse and I slowly started to hate them.

But if I had to tell the truth, I pitied them more than I hated them. Here they were, seven very young boys, living together without any guardian. Who could teach them how to behave?

I felt like these boys lack the most important emotion it takes to be a human. The Bangtan Boys lack love.

< Previous || Next >

My Masterlist

We Are Only Seven - Chapter 5

Fandom: BTS Characters: OT7 (Devil!Namjoon, Demigod!Seokjin, Wizard!Yoongi, Angel!Hoseok, Werewolf!Taehyung, Gumiho!Jimin, Vampire!Jungkook) For a visual representation check these >>> VMinKook & NamJinSope Warning: Slight swearing, panic attack. Word Count: 1.3k Words

Summary: In a world ruled by humans, the other worldly, non-humans are in hiding. But how long will it last this way?

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 [Complete]

At first, it started as a joke. Jungkook took pride in the fact that he was immune to the bullets. Being a vampire, his only weakness was wood. So, the OHA had to find an alternative for the vampires and they had trained themselves in archery; all these trouble just to hunt the vampires and no other creatures.

That’s why, Jungkook’s mates would go around calling him ‘Bulletproof’. It turned out to be a nickname eventually. But when the question of naming their team of seven members came, Namjoon suggested it should be called ‘Bulletproof’ instead as a symbol of their courage at adversaries.

It had been almost a month now. They were training themselves for the future battle they had to face. Even though Yoongi had presented some kind of draft of their plan before them, it was Namjoon who could give detailed direction about how to execute them. So, they all decided to put Namjoon as their leader. Even Yoongi was okay with that.

Meanwhile, their bond grew stronger. Some of them wouldn’t even hesitate to call the others their friends. They got used to be jam-packed at Yoongi’s small basement of an abandoned building too. They started to live as if it were their home. They became much closer to that of a family they never had.

The night before their first mission, Yoongi called Jimin to talk about some important issues. When Taehyung was about to follow them, Yoongi stopped him and said, “Perhaps, it would be better if you go to sleep early. We have some shits to be done by tomorrow.”

“It’s okay!” Taehyung pushed aside the proposal, “Let’s hear what you have to say first.”

Hesitantly Yoongi said, “Umm…Actually I want to talk with Jimin in private.”

“Oh!” Taehyung frowned at him but didn’t complain. He went back to the room.

Yoongi took Jimin outside to the unused garage. Jimin kept wondering what it could be that he was trying to conceal from the others.

“I know that the Gumihos can see through time into the future.” Yoongi said flatly.

“Yes!” Jimin said, with a doubt still lingering on his mind.

“I want you to do me a favor.” Yoongi’s voice was rather soft now, “Tell me what you can see about the OHA’s demise.”

“Yoongi,” Jimin called, “I don’t think you understand. It doesn’t work like that. I can’t see whatever I wish to.”

“But if you try hard…” Yoongi couldn’t finish the sentence in excitement.

Jimin sighed, “Even if I could, there is a huge possibility of messing it up. Trying to change an already bad future can turn it worse.”

“I know, I know.” Yoongi said desperately, “I promise I won’t try to change it. I won’t mess up.”

“Then, what is even the point of knowing it beforehand?” Jimin asked.

Yoongi didn’t answer.

Then, Jimin said, “It would be better if we leave this to the destiny.”

Yoongi shook his head, his eyes closed. Thinking for a while, he said carefully, “All the same, you would let me know if you see something, won’t you?”

Jimin nodded without knowing what to do otherwise, “I will.” Then, he was about to leave.

But Yoongi called him again, “Jimin-ah.” Jimin looked back. Yoongi said, “Please, don’t tell the others about our conversation here.”

Their first mission was to capture the leader of the wizards of the OHA called the ‘Master of Shadow”. He was the secretary of Kim Joon-Hwi and the mastermind behind all the evil the organization had been doing so far.

Their plan was to do the job as smoothly as they could without any bloody fight. All the ‘Bulletproof’ boys had planned to go. But then on the appointed day, Yoongi refused to join them.

“I’ve decided someone has to stay behind.” Yoongi said, “As I’m the only one who can use magic to prepare a room, so that he can’t escape from it, I think it should be me.” Nobody seemed to have any complain about that.

But Yoongi also added, “And Hoseok will stay with me as well.” This time, they started to protest.

“But we need as many as possible.” Seokjin argued, “And you said it yourself, that an angel is a must on the team.”

“I think you have enough people already…” Yoongi was about to say something more but Jimin interrupted him.

“Maybe our leader can decide upon the matter.” Jimin said. He was not going to leave the matter at Yoongi’s hand anymore.

Namjoon thought for a moment. It occurred to him that Yoongi was being overprotective toward Hoseok. Namjoon didn’t want Hoseok to get hurt as well. After all, he used to be a fellow angel, even though Hoseok didn’t remember anything about Namjoon now.

“I think Yoongi’s right.” He said finally, “Let them stay. The five of us are enough to fight a single wizard.”

They set off for the mission without the two and reached the OHA facility. They were to keep a watch at it secretly and wait till the wizard was seen alone. The more time started to pass the more anxious they were getting.

Taehyung suddenly said, “I can’t do this.”

“What are you talking about? You can’t back away now.” Seokjin groaned in annoyance.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked Taehyung, noticing that he was breathing heavily.

Taehyung shook his head violently and kept muttering, “I can’t go back there. I can’t go back.”

Jimin went to sit beside Taehyung and started to calm him down, “It’s okay, dear. We are all here with you. This time, you’re not alone.”

“I think he’s having a panic attack.” Seokjin said, now aware about the matter.

“What if they catch me and lock me up again?” Taehyung was close to tearing up.

‘Again?’ Everyone was surprised at the word.

Finally, Jimin had to explain what the matter was about Taehyung. Some years ago, Taehyung was caught and taken to the facility. He had some really bad experiences in there. But fortunately he was able to escape. Jimin had found him and taken care of him ever since.

Namjoon was really upset about it. He told Jimin that he should have told them about it earlier and it wasn’t a good idea to force Taehyung into something like this when he wasn’t ready to face it.

“I’m sorry!” Jimin apologized, “I didn’t realize that the old memories might come back and haunt him.”

Everyone remained quiet, allowing Taehyung to have some time to relax. Jungkook was patting him slowly on the back. After a while, Taehyung seemed to have come to his senses.

He, himself, said, “Alright, guys!” the same old box smile returned to his pretty face, “I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

Back at Yoongi’s basement, Hoseok kept asking Yoongi the same question again and again, “Maybe you’re trying to escape a fight. But why didn’t you allow me to go?”

“Why were you even waiting for my permission anyway?” Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Well, it’s better to avoid a fight if you have the chance.” Hoseok said, “But I can’t think of a benefit of yours in letting me stay.”

“Please, do me a favor.” Yoongi said, getting more annoyed by the time, “Don’t even try to think about it.”

Hoseok started to laugh. But it sounded more like he had been repeating the letter ‘k’ over and over again.

“Please stay here until I come.” Yoongi requested, “I have to go fix a room to lock up the wizard before they arrive.”

“You mean, one of those abandoned rooms upstairs?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah! Where else can I take him?”

“Oh my Gods!” Hoseok said, “Those are some really nasty places. C’mon, now. Let’s get moving.”

“What do you mean? Are you coming with me?”

“I ain’t letting you do those dirty works alone.” Hoseok was already picking up the broomstick.

“Will you ever let me be alone for a while?” Yoongi sighed.

“Yeah!” Hoseok said, “The day you actually smile.”

And Hoseok was already on the move. What he didn’t see was that Yoongi was actually smiling behind his back.

My Masterlist

Tag List: @bts-ruu​,

Little Things Matter

I know, BTS did honorable things by which they could be remembered in history. But have you noticed the small things (which are not really small if you think about it) that could actually show the kind of persons they really are?

Including sign language as a part of the choreography

Kneeling down while the youngest helps to tie the shoe lace

Recommending a feminist book for which many female idols had received hatred before

Doing every little action the fans request on v live to make them happy

Letting another artist stay in the middle of their performance even though she was okay to step aside

Letting the camera-people have a bite from their food

Picking up an army bomb from the stage and returning it to the fan

Buying slushies/ice creams for all the staffs because it’s crazy hot outside

Calling the fans his hope and vice versa

Helping the staffs to fix the stage lights/cleaning up with them

Requesting the food delivery man to drive safely due to the heavy rain and not to worry about being late

And I can go on and on...

The Duality of BTS

Get yourself a man who can do both

I was too stressed and mindlessly scribbled "I can't do this anymore!" in the back of my notebook.

And look, what my little 9 year old sister wrote back!!!

I'm not joking when I say she's one of the reasons why I still keep going on...😭🩷