Special 8 Photo-folio: Masterlist

The Words (2012)

I am not sure that I can put the perfect words together to express how much I am touched by this movie. But I want to write. I have to express something about what I think about it.

Basically, it’s a movie about a writer reading his book about a writer who’ve stole a story of another writer. Sounds crazy, right? The movie itself is insanely great.

It’s definitely a 5/5. This movie is everything I search for in a movie. It has a great storyline, the drama is intense and heartbreaking, but most importantly, it has got a feeling of it’s own. The mixture of two stories in two different era created an art.

The cast is amazing. I can’t imagine someone else playing the younger version of Jeremy Irons other than Ben Barnes. There is something very similar between them. Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana were the perfect choice as a couple.

I will never stop recommending this movie. It is very underrated.

For the people who haven’t still watched it: Do yourself a favour, take a break and watch the damn movie.

Singularity

Fandom: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon × Reader

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“Shit!” I huffed out as I had to climb the stairs up to the third floor and my poor lungs wouldn’t want to cooperate as always, “I forgot my water bottle at home again.”

“You can have mine, no problem!” a boy handed me his half filled plastic bottle.

I usually follow one rule while drinking water from other people’s bottles. I ask them if they touch their lips to the bottles opening while drinking and usually refuse to drink from the same bottle if they do.

That day, however, I didn’t have the mind to do that as I straight up uncapped the bottle to finish the whole thing in one go. When I looked up to say ‘thanks’ and ‘sorry’, he was already gone. As it was almost time for the next class, I supposed he hurried to get to his. I remembered the boy’s name to be Namjoon.

Namjoon was a boy I would often see in between classes. Sometimes we would nod, ask when the next class was or simply smile at each other. And then, we’d go our separate ways. I knew him just like that. I didn’t remember ever having a full conversation with him.

I didn’t see him again after that day. But I heard some rumors about him around the campus not long after. He was accused of saying something that sparked controversy. Since I didn’t know him in person I never expressed my opinion on the matter. But I had a lingering wish to meet him again, to return his empty plastic bottle that I still carry in my bag.

That wish came true when I finally saw him again.

He was having lunch at an empty table at the corner of the cafeteria. There was no one around so I walked up to him right away.

“I’m so sorry I could not return your bottle that day!” I had told him.

“What bottle?” He looked at me with genuine confusion.

I took out the said bottle from my bag to put on the table. Namjoon let out a chuckle at its sight. “You wanted to return this?”

“I know, it might not be a huge deal to you. But I literally can’t sleep in peace until I return what I borrow from someone else. Be it a pen or book or whatever.” I explained myself clearly to which Namjoon nodded and took the empty bottle off the table.

“I’ll take it back then.” He said, “Hope it gives you some peace.”

He shook his head slightly and laughed. For some reason, I felt overwhelmed seeing him laugh like that. His eyes completely vanished behind the wrinkles as he laughed. He looked so unreal. I couldn’t make up my mind why I was feeling that way at such a small act of someone I barely knew. But I had a feeling that it was a moment I would never witness again. I felt the need to capture it in a picture so that I could look at it whenever I wanted to.

However, I didn't take his picture that day. Instead I stood there for a while, enjoying the moment as it was. He didn’t invite me to sit next to him. I wished he did.

The next time I heard about Namjoon was from a group of friends talking about college in general. I wasn't minding their gossip until I heard them speak about him.

"Good grades aren't everything, you see!" One of them said, "you need to have a better character to not be kicked out of school like that."

I was shocked to find what happened to Namjoon regarding those rumors. As much as I wanted to interrupt their conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Yet my heart couldn't believe a word of the dirty talks I heard around. Even though I wasn't a friend of his, neither was I an acquaintance, in my heart, I still pictured him as the smiling boy who had helped me at the time I needed it.

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Note: Inspired by a dream...

My Masterlist

Pip and Estella

Great Expectations (2011) BBC

List of Fandoms

I love to write. Feel free to ask me anything: imagines, one shots, shipping, fan fiction etc. The fandoms I write about are:

Harry Potter

Marvel

DC

The Maze Runner

The Riot Club

Stephen King’s IT

Riverdale

I’ll add more to my list later, maybe.

Gangubai Kathiawadi (2022) - Movie Review

I just finished watching "Gangubai Kathiawadi" and it was phenomenal. It deserves all the praises it gets. If you want to feel something from a movie, go watch it. (And also it's on Netflix)

How a woman was sold to prostitution and slowly raised to gain power? Though lengthy, the plot was paced perfectly. It didn't rush to complete the story.

The dialogues hit hard as they are so powerful. For example, in a scene where Gangu was trying to get the children of the prostitutes admitted into a school, she was asked the identity of their father mockingly. And she replied with, "Isn't mother's name enough?" She even put humour to it and asked to add the name of a famous actor as the father of all the children. If you've already watched it, you know what I'm talking about...

And about Alia Bhatt, I think she did a great job and deserves all the praises.

But I think the character of Raziabai should be played by a real life eunuch. Apart from this, I overall enjoyed the film.

Some of my favourites <3

Red Hope! - Part 3

Specially requested by @lelewright1234. Hope you enjoy!

Note: This work is totally fictional and has nothing to do with BTS on real life. I mean no hate toward any person in particular. This plotline was requested. Though I personally hate bullies, I still believe there is hope for everyone.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 × OC (Leah) Warning: Bullies, hospital, drinking, swearing, recurring nightmares, car accidents, blood etc. Genre: Angst Summary: Since Leah is in coma for months, the guilty consciences of the boys are eating them up...

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 (Complete)

*************************************************

“Which one do you want this time?” the florist asked his regular customer.

Jimin looked around for a moment, “Those pink ones over there.”

Jimin had been visiting Leah regularly. Whenever he was done with his dance class every day, he would go to the flower shop to buy new flowers for her.

“She can’t even see those flowers you give her.” Hoseok once told him.

“I don’t care.” Jimin had said, “As long as I’m capable of, I’ll do it. So that whenever she wakes up, the first thing she would see are the beautiful flowers by her bedside.”

Hoseok didn’t argue further. Jimin had been bringing flowers to Leah for the past three weeks. He had also asked Hoseok many times to go with him. But Hoseok never visited her, not even once.

When Jimin went inside Leah’s room, he found Nina sitting beside her.

“Oh! It’s you.” Nina said, “new flowers again?”

Jimin nodded. He went to change the flowers that he had brought yesterday from the vase. Though they were still fresh as new, Jimin would still change them every day.

Nina sighed, “What are the uses of them now? You had never cared about her when she was healthy.”

Jimin didn’t answer. He had asked the same question to himself too. He had been regretting it every day. Only if he knew how much it would hurt him once she was gone, he would have never been terrible to her.

“What are they called?” Nina finally asked.

“Garden Primrose.”

*************************************************

It had been more than two months since Leah had saved them from the accident. She was still in a coma. Nobody knew when she was going to come back or if she would ever come back or not.

Hoseok had thought about her quite a lot. Every time Jimin had asked him to go with him, he had refused. Seeing her still body would be too overwhelming for him.

Today, Hoseok had got up his courage to finally visit her in the hospital. As he looked at her motionless body lying on the bed, his eyes filled with tears. At that precise moment, he had a flashback.

Leah was dancing to her favorite music that day. Hoseok had been watching her secretly. He was awed by her skill. “How smooth her moves are!” he had thought.

Before she had ended her dance, Jimin came to stand beside him. Hoseok felt uncomfortable. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to compliment her. Instead of encouraging her for the performance, the boys had joked and laughed at her that day.

Remembering that painful memory, Hoseok couldn’t control his tears. He let them fall. He leaned toward Leah.

“I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough.” Hoseok whispered, “You are truly a gem.”

*************************************************

Min Yoongi had been drinking a lot lately. His mind was racing. He had never felt so helpless before. The only easy way to calm his messy brain was drinking.

He was the worst among the boys. That was what Leah had once told him. He had laughed and said that he was proud about it, that it was rather a compliment.

He remembered how innocent he used to be once. How he had hated all the bullies in his elementary school. He had been scared of the world and hated everyone. But since he had friends, he started to feel more confident.

“How did this happen?” Yoongi questioned himself, “since when did I turn into such a monster?”

He knew he couldn’t undone the damage he had already caused her. He couldn’t even apologize. Seemed like God had taken away that chance from him.

He stroked the piano keys really hard. “Shit,” he swore when his hand banged on a key and it hurt.

He took the bottle beside him and drank. “Guess I’ll just have to drink away all the pain.” He thought.

*************************************************

“Shit” Taehyung had another nightmare, “shit, shit, shit.” He swore while kicking his bed sheets and throwing away his pillow.

Namjoon woke up with a start. “Taehyung,” he called, holding him firmly on his grip. Taehyung opened his eyes wide with full of terror.

“It’s just a dream.” Namjoon reassured him, “You’re alright.”

Taehyung looked confused for a while, trying to process his surroundings, his breathing heavy. As the reality kicked in, he buried his face on his hands. Then he started to sob.

Namjoon brought a glass of water and stood beside Taehyung. He didn’t know what to say. The nightmares were getting more frequent. Maybe he should suggest Taehyung to visit a psychiatrist. Maybe they all should see a psychiatrist. But he wouldn’t dare mention it now to Taehyung. Not when he was in this state.

When he calmed down, Taehyung took the glass and gulped down the water. Then he stood up and walked toward the door.

“Are you going out for fresh air?” Namjoon asked. Taehyung nodded and went out.

On his mind, he was replaying the recurring nightmares he was having since the accident. The contents of the dreams were always similar: The car hitting Leah, her motionless body, the blood coming out of her head. But the thing that terrified Taehyung the most was the blood on his own hands.

Taehyung shivered at the thought of it. It felt like a punishment he was suffering for his past actions.

*************************************************

Namjoon was worried. He worried about himself. He worried about the boys. But mostly, he worried about Leah. Given the chance, he would have gladly taken the place of Leah, saving her and the boys that night. He could have easily given his own life to save theirs.

But karma was a bitch. He knew that they deserved the suffering. They had troubled her enough. Now it was her time to rest while they endured all the pain their guilty conscience had to offer.

It was getting unbearable for Namjoon to see Taehyung waking up from yet another nightmare. Yoongi had started drinking again, the only solution he seemed to have found. Jungkook had stopped going to the school. Even though others were trying hard to act as if everything was fine, he knew deep down they were all hurting.

Namjoon had hard time accepting the situation at first too. But the more he had thought about it, the clearer it became. They had been terrible to Leah. It was only natural for a kind hearted girl like her to smack some sense into them.

Namjoon sat on his table. He took out a pen and a paper. Then, he started to write.

This song was different. He didn’t need to think hard about the rhythm and the lyrics. It was all coming naturally to him. He wrote and wrote until it was done. He was satisfied with the result. The song had everything he wanted to say to Leah. It was a perfect apology.

“If only we could ever sing to her.” Namjoon whispered to himself.

*************************************************

Jungkook hadn’t gone to school for the past two months. Jin had called his teachers to let them know that Jungkook was having a really hard time since the accident. They understood. Or at least that was what they said.

Jungkook spent most of his time on his room. He wouldn’t even come out to eat. Either of his hyungs would bring him whatever was necessary. Without necessity, he wouldn’t even talk to them.

Jungkook felt anger within himself. Some parts of it was directed toward himself. But there was another part of him who had been blaming the other boys.

He remembered the first day Leah had joined during their elementary years. She had been very friendly and kind towards all of them. But all she had ever received from everyone was laughter and teasing.

She had even helped Jungkook with his homework. She had defended him when the teacher had mistaken him for another naughty student in class. Jungkook had liked her a lot. He really wanted to be her friend.

He felt like it was a mistake, bringing her to meet his hyungs. They had teased her and laughed at her that day. Jungkook was being a coward. He couldn’t defend his friend the way she had done him. Instead he had taken his hyungs’ side and bullied her along with them.

Jungkook was angry with himself and the boys.

*************************************************

Jin had been taking care of the boys. Whether they were aware about it or not, he didn’t care. He had been doing it since the very beginning. Being the oldest, he felt like that was his fate.

He had taken Jungkook to school every day when all of them had moved on to the high school. Jungkook was the only one left in the elementary school. He had been cooking for every one with Yoongi’s help. He had never shown his struggle. He had been strong for his boys.

Even now, during this difficult time, he had kept his pain within himself. He was still trying to show his positive side so that the boys would not break down. He was doing everything he was capable of.

He remembered why the bullying had begun in the first place. Jungkook had told them about his new friend in school. He was very excited for them to meet her. But that scared Jin.

Leah, being a black girl, was being bullied by everyone. Jin feared that they would start bullying Jungkook too, once he became friend with her. Jin felt like he had to protect the youngest. It was him who gave the idea of teasing her for fun. The boys had agreed since he was the oldest. What could he do anyway? After all, he was only 14 years old back then.

But now, Jin felt the opposite. He felt like he had lead the boys into doing something terrible. He felt like he was to blame for everything they were going through. He felt like Leah would never forgive him.

< Previous || Next >

My Masterlist

Boy With Luv

Note: I found this prompt on Pinterest and it sounded promising. The first person that came to my mind was Yoongi. So I wrote a fan fiction about him. A little reminder that it is totally fictional. The character I made has nothing to do with the real Min Yoongi. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female reader Genre: Fluff and Angst Warning: Implication of self-harm, slight swearing, little drinking. Word Count: 3k Words

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“WHAT? It’s already 8:45?” I needed to hurry or I’d miss my 9 a.m. English class. I jumped out of my bed and changed my clothes as quickly as I could. I sprinted out of my house checking my watch to found that it was already 9.

A trip from the bus stand to my college took almost 15 more minutes. I started to run once I got down from the bus. I was breathing heavily when I opened the door to my class.

“We’ve already discussed about our new project, dear. Since, you’re late, your partner will explain it to you. Mr. Min Yoongi, as you’re the only one left without a partner, you two may pair up.” The professor announced.

I was too shocked to give any reaction while Yoongi just nodded. Every other seats were already taken. So I had to go sit on the back with this guy called Min Yoongi. The whole class went on in a blur. I glanced at my partner twice. He seemed to be really absorbed at whatever he was writing on his notes.

First, let me put some words about Min Yoongi. He was majoring in Music and we only had English course together. He looked very intimidating. I never saw him talk with anyone unless it was necessary. The only time he talked to me was when I was with my best friend discussing about our plans for a sleepover and he told me I was being too loud to be on the library. Since then, I tried to avoid him at all cost.

But now, he was my partner for the English project, whatever it was. I was already too nervous to approach him about the matter.

Once the class was over, he said to me, while packing his bag, “We have to write ‘Daily Words of Affirmation’ to each other for the next five days.”

“Huh?” was the only thing that came out of my mouth.

“The group project?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh right,” I said, “the group project. So, I have to write something positive to you from when exactly?”

“From today.” He headed to the door. “And also,” he turned back, “You can write a hand written note or send me via email, whatever way you’re comfortable with.” And he was gone.

“So, that’s it?” I thought to myself, “No other instructions? Can’t he just sit and talk like a normal person do when they do group projects?” I was getting really annoyed at this guy by then. What could I possibly write when I couldn’t even find anything good about him?

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My hair looked like a mess as I repeatedly ran my hand through them. “Oh, come on! Think like a mature person. Everybody has some good aspects about them.” I forced myself to think of something nice. The fact that by the end of the week we had to submit our interaction to our professor was more frustrating.

As I didn’t know him very well, I thought about writing something about his appearance instead. What was I going to write anyway? It wasn’t like I found him very attractive or something.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine his face. For some reason he looked like a cat to me. I smiled to myself, “Fine! I’ll write that.” I hoped he’d take that as a compliment.

“You look like a cat.” I typed on my laptop. It sounded too rude. I tried to think of a creative way to put it. I typed again.

“Though lazy, cats are really skillful in hunting. Somehow, your face reminds me of a cat. Can’t wait to find out what you’re good at!”

I was really satisfied with whatever I wrote. Before I could send it, I got an email from Yoongi first.

“With or without glasses, your eyes are the most appealing bit on your face (that’s my personal opinion).”

I was taken aback. I couldn’t picture Min Yoongi writing me that. Also, his message sounded better as a Words-of-Affirmation than mine. I still couldn’t think of a decent thing to say. So without working myself up I sent my message.

Before going to bed I went to the bathroom to wash my face as a part of the night routine. I took off my glasses and stared into my eyes in the mirror. The last time someone told me that my eyes were beautiful was in grade 8. That was before I started wearing glasses.

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I was prepared to talk to Min Yoongi the next day. I needed to find out something to write this time. It was so frustrating last night that I finally built up my courage to get acquainted with this seemingly rude guy.

We didn’t have English class that day. So I texted him to meet me at the cafeteria whenever he could. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity he texted back, “Come to the library.”

“Oh God! That library again. Does this guy even think about other people’s conveniences?” But it seemed like I had no other choice. I was determined to ace that English course no matter what. So, burying my ego I went to the library.

He was sitting at the far corner, his usual place. I got closer and saw that he was reading ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho. That caught my attention and I spoke up without hesitation, “I read that book last month.”

Yoongi glanced at me once and got back to reading again. I sat beside him. I tried to take the conversation further, “They say this book helps you to find your true destiny. But I guess I was too caught up with All-thing-is-one stuff to notice that.”

“Don’t worry.” He said turning a page, “Some people read with their eyes and not their minds.”

“Excuse me?” I felt offended, “did you just consider me as one of those people?’

He shrugged his shoulder while still keeping his eyes on the book. As a book lover his words felt like an insult to me. Why on earth did I end up being partnered up with a guy like him on a project like this?

I decided it was time to be frank, “Listen here, Mr. Min Yoongi. I wanted to talk to you only because I felt it was necessary to know you better. You know, for the project?”

“Yes, I know.” He shut his book close and stared at me. His eyes looked cold. It felt like he was daring me to say something more. Something I was desperately wanting to throw at him.

The next moment I saw something else in those eyes. But I couldn’t figure it out then. I turned to go away when I heard him say under his breath, “Because no one in their right mind would want to know me.”

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What could he mean by that? It ought to sound like a threat. But I felt like it was a cry for help. The more I got to know him, the more mysterious he was getting.

At least I was relieved. Because by then, I had already figured out what to write to him next.

“There’s hope for you because you read with your mind and not just the eyes.”

I wrote that thinking he was clever enough to see the sarcasm in it while our professor would have no clue, being unaware of the whole situation. I sent the message and went on about my day.

I got his email at midnight. I immediately opened it.

“You’re a natural optimistic, always seeing the beauty in the ugliest of places.”

I pondered over his words. If he really meant whatever he wrote, that would mean he had took enough time to put some serious thoughts about me.

“That’s for the project only, you silly!” I told myself.

As I went to bed, his face appeared in front of me. The way he looked at me when he said, “Yes, I know!” I felt like I knew the second expression on his face, “Was it, perhaps, sadness?”

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I texted him again the next morning, “Are you busy? If not, let’s meet again.” I had thought about his last message to me. It was rather a compliment. I was truly an optimist. My father once told me it was a strength to hold onto. So, I decided I would not let that go so easily just because some guy was trying to act tough.

I got a reply, “Actually yes, I’m kinda busy. Currently working on my new music.” After a second, another message popped up, “Sorry about it. Maybe we can meet at evening?”

It didn’t sound too bad this time. He was actually trying to be polite, whatever the reason might be. I didn’t write him back. Instead I went straight to the practice room.

It was a huge hall with different instruments here and there. I found him sitting at the very corner with a piano. So, he played piano? I always wanted to take piano lessons. For some reasons, I was never able to.

There was no one in the room. I moved closer to hear him play better. He was scribbling in his notes something I couldn’t see. I patiently waited without bothering him. Then, he started to play.

The music slowly started to build by the time. The sweet music turning into something, I dare say, emotional. I felt my heart getting heavy. My feet felt numb. I stayed motionless as I took in every stroke of the key within myself.

How could a person seemingly so cold, make music so touching?

Yoongi finished the whole piece and looked back at me, directly into my eyes, as if he knew I was standing there. A drop of tear fell from my eye. I suddenly realized my cheeks were wet.

“What did you name it?” I asked about the beautiful music he had created.

“First Love.”

We were sitting across the table in the café. I had a latte while he ordered an Americano. “Did you really make that?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It was so beautiful. I have never heard anyone playing a piano before. You sounded like a piano prodigy or something.”

“You’re saying that since you never heard anyone playing a piano before.”

A moment of silence, then I broke into a laugh. I was getting used to his kind of humor by then. Yoongi’s smile slowly built on his lip. His cheeks turned red as he said “thank you” in a low voice.

“What?” I said loudly, “I couldn’t hear you. Did you just come up with another savage reply of yours since the last one didn’t bother me?”

This time his smile widened to reach up to his eyes. That was a sight I never saw before. He looked so innocent with that gummy smile of his. I suddenly felt something inside my stomach twisting.

He felt like a boy I could love.

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Was it even possible? Could people really fall in love with someone so easily? Or maybe I was mistaking infatuation for love. Even if I wasn’t in love with him already, I was pretty sure I would be soon if I continued to get closer to him.

One thing was clear. Whatever the feeling might be, it was too strong to ignore. Never in my life had I felt something so deep.

“You are so full of love that you should cherish your ability of making such lively music.”

I didn’t hesitate to send him the message. This time, I waited eagerly for his reply. His words were reassuring. They made me feel alive. They made me realize, I had something in me. But again, that was exactly what the project was all about.

I waited and waited. At some point I fell asleep on my reading table. I woke up at about 10 p.m. I quickly checked my email. The message I was waiting for had already arrived.

“You’re a light in the darkest room, a bright star in the night sky. You’re someone’s hope in the time of complete despair.”

I knew I would keep thinking about it all night.

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10:43 p.m. I texted him, “Can’t sleep.”

“Me too.” A quick reply.

“Wanna meet?”

“Sure.”

11:04 p.m. We were sitting on the park bench. The night was surprisingly cold. I was grateful for the beer Yoongi brought with him. But I was getting high by the time.

“I don’t know what to talk about.”

“Don’t worry. I like silent company more.”

11:18 p.m. I could feel the alcohol was making me a little drowsy. But I didn’t want to go back just then. “What are you good at? Other than music?” I said trying to avoid the sleepiness.

“I used to play basketball in high school.”

11:35 p.m. I decided it was time to talk about some real shit, “I want to get a tattoo so bad.”

“Get it then.”

“My mother will kill me.”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulder. Then he unbuttoned his sleeve to show me his bare wrist. I spotted a faint white line there, “What is that?” As soon as I asked that, I knew I messed up.

“Shit.” I swore, “Sorry.”

“If you ever decide to get the tattoo, take me with you. I’ll get one here.” He raised his wrist again.

“Fine! Let’s get going then.”

11:49 p.m. Yoongi drove us to the tattoo parlor I always passed by and fantasized about getting in.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” I almost screamed in excitement. Yoongi smiled at me and my inside melted.

They were not allowing us to go inside since it was almost closing time. I practically begged them to let us in. After a minute or two, Yoongi stepped forward and said something to the guy I couldn’t hear properly.

Finally they let us in.

12:14 a.m. We were driving back from the parlor. “Don’t you want to see my tattoo?” I asked.

“You probably got it somewhere no one could see.”

I smirked, “I’ll show YOU though.” I lifted my shirt to show my waist where I got a little bow.

“What did you get?” I asked Yoongi, “Can I see it?”

He showed me his wrist. There was a small line drawn along which were the piano keys. It was so simple yet I knew how important it was to him.

He said, “Piano is my savior.”

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I woke up late with a headache. I quickly lifted my shirt to check my tattoo. It was there, fresh as new. I smiled to myself, “So it wasn’t a dream after all.”

I took a pain reliever and made myself some mango juice. I checked my email and found Yoongi’s message. Just the thought of reading it made my whole body squirmy.

“You’re a rebel at heart.”

It was such a compliment to me. All my life, I’d only had dreams. But I felt like a coward every time I stepped away from fulfilling them. I decided, as soon as my semester would be over, I’d start getting piano lessons as well.

“Maybe Yoongi can teach me.” I thought and smiled.

It was my turn to return the compliment.

“The courage you have to show the vulnerable side of yours, makes you stronger.”

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I texted Yoongi that I had three classes, so I would meet him at evening. I already missed more than half of the first class since I woke up late. During the other classes I kept checking my phone often to see if he had replied. There was none.

Once my last class was done, I called him. It sent me straight to voicemail, “Hey Yoongi, it’s me. Just called to know when you’re free so that we could hangout… Yeah! So, call me back when you can, okay?”

I was waiting anxiously all evening. But there was not a single text or call from Yoongi. I kept wondering what could be the reason.

“He’s probably busy, that’s all.” I tried to reassure myself. But there was a part of me which felt like something was not right.

Maybe my last message mentioning about his vulnerable side was too much. Maybe he never meant for me to see that, but he was drunk enough to let that slip.

It was already midnight. Yoongi hadn’t contact me for a whole damn day. I was really stressed at that point. I felt like I had messed up. I wanted to cry.

“Why do you have to be so clingy, you pathetic bitch?” I shouted out at myself. That didn’t help. Since there was nothing I could do, I finally fell asleep wishing that as soon as I woke up, everything would be okay.

I checked my phone the next day. There was still no reply. So, I felt like it was time I wrote my final Words-of-Affirmation to him.

“You are someone’s favorite person in the entire world.”

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Yoongi texted me that evening, “Meet me at the park.”

I saw Yoongi waiting for me beside the park bench we were sitting on two nights ago. I went to him and he looked up, his expression unreadable.

“Why didn’t you call me yesterday?” was the first thing that came out of me.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said, “Our project ends today.”

“Project?” I was too confused. What did he mean by that? Were we just hanging out because of that stupid project? I felt too numb to react to that.

Yoongi took some time before he said slowly, “It doesn’t feel right.”

“What?” I asked.

“We shouldn’t be hanging out.”

“And why is that?” I was getting a little angry at him.

“Everything’s happening too fast. I don’t think I’m ready to handle them.” He sounded as if he were scared.

“Yoongi, it’s okay! We all feel overwhelmed at times. It’ll pass. Just take it easy and see what comes next.”

“No!” he said, “Please, don’t try to get too close. We’ll both end up being hurt.”

“I’m sure that won’t happen.” I stepped forward. But Yoongi took a step back.

“But you don’t know me.”

“I want to know you.” I said, “At least give me a chance.”

Yoongi gave out a mocking laugh, “How can you do that when I don’t even know myself?”

That was it. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else. I stood there in silence. Tears threatening me every moment to burst out.

“There is a lot I still need to figure out.” Yoongi said finally, “I need to find myself first in order to let people get close to me. I don’t want to lose any loved ones anymore.”

He came closer and took my hands. He gave me a folded paper and said, “It’s my last message to you. Forgive me for everything, will you?”

Then he walked away. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I didn’t stop them anymore. Crying was the only way I knew to deal with grief.

I opened the paper when I got home.

“You have so much potential in you that once you realize your destiny, no one can stop you from achieving it.”

Whatever the destiny was, I didn’t know it. All I knew was that what Yoongi needed was time. And I could surely gave him that. But I was not going to give up on him.

My Masterlist

Writing Tips

Punctuating Dialogue

✧

➸ “This is a sentence.”

➸ “This is a sentence with a dialogue tag at the end,” she said.

➸ “This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a dialogue tag.”

➸ “This is a sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence. New sentences are capitalized.”

➸ “This is a sentence followed by an action.” He stood. “They are separate sentences because he did not speak by standing.”

➸ She said, “Use a comma to introduce dialogue. The quote is capitalized when the dialogue tag is at the beginning.”

➸ “Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote,” he said.

“Unless there is a question mark?” she asked.

“Or an exclamation point!” he answered. “The dialogue tag still remains uncapitalized because it’s not truly the end of the sentence.”

➸ “Periods and commas should be inside closing quotations.”

➸ “Hey!” she shouted, “Sometimes exclamation points are inside quotations.”

However, if it’s not dialogue exclamation points can also be “outside”!

➸ “Does this apply to question marks too?” he asked.

If it’s not dialogue, can question marks be “outside”? (Yes, they can.)

➸ “This applies to dashes too. Inside quotations dashes typically express—“

“Interruption” — but there are situations dashes may be outside.

➸ “You’ll notice that exclamation marks, question marks, and dashes do not have a comma after them. Ellipses don’t have a comma after them either…” she said.

➸ “My teacher said, ‘Use single quotation marks when quoting within dialogue.’”

➸ “Use paragraph breaks to indicate a new speaker,” he said.

“The readers will know it’s someone else speaking.”

➸ “If it’s the same speaker but different paragraph, keep the closing quotation off.

“This shows it’s the same character continuing to speak.”

Dorian Gray (2009)