RM - Purple

Most people got annoyed with me as I freaked out seeing a spider in my class today. The spider was small, I admit, but it was jumping like crazy in a lightning speed. And trust me when I say, it scared me to death.

I'm not joking when I say I'm scared of spiders. Spiders are my worst nightmares.

I was scared of it since I was a child. My mother also used to get annoyed at me. Whenever I complained about a spider in our bathroom, she would force me to go in, instead of removing it. I feared it so much, that I had scary nightmares of it for a long time. I even cried myself to sleep some nights. I would pray to God to remove all kinds of spiders around me.

I got older. But my fear didn't go. Recently I went to stay with one of my aunts from my father's side of the family. There were huge spiders on their walls of the room I was staying in. And guess what? I stayed up most of the night and watched them move along the walls. Since I was very tired, eventually I fell asleep. But the moment I woke up next day, I searched for the location of those little creatures immediately.

An information to you, who get annoyed by any people freaking out at a thing which you may find pretty silly: People don't freak out to get attention.

I swear, I was embarrassed to death when I came to my sense after those brief moments of panic. I could hear my heart beating upto my throat. As an overthinker, I would probably relive those moments the whole day and probably the whole week. It's not like I can make all the choices for my brain.

I was too stressed and mindlessly scribbled "I can't do this anymore!" in the back of my notebook.

And look, what my little 9 year old sister wrote back!!!

I'm not joking when I say she's one of the reasons why I still keep going on...😭🩷

I’m Here For You...

Fandom: Tale of the Nine Tailed

Pairing: Lee Rang x reader

(y/n= your name)

Why isn’t he answering my calls? He was probably upset about something. And that something definitely had to do with his brother.

I know Lee Rang for only some months. We’ve met at a bookstore where both of us were trying to buy the last copy of “Moby Dick”. We got into a huge fight over that. Finally I managed to get it since he was only hoarding all editions of the same book.

Though he was acting like a spoiled brat, I secretly liked him a lot and I’m pretty sure he found me amusing too. Since then, we occasionally met. In our brief time of acquaintance he had already complained about his brother an awful lot. And judging by his words, that brother is pretty indifferent to him.

When we talked on the phone this morning, Rang told me he was on his way to meet his brother. And now he isn’t receiving my calls. That means the meeting didn’t go well. I needed to meet him. I had already checked the bar he usually goes to and he wasn’t there.

“This little idiot is making me crazy!” I thought. Then a message came to my phone. Lee Rang had finally replied to my anxious texts.

“I’m home now. Too tired to talk.”

Seriously? This was his answer? I can’t believe it.

I angrily walked towards my car and started to head to his home. He was acting distant again. He was probably depressed. Thinking about it made me so sad. I wished he told me what’s going on with him honestly.

I didn’t bother knocking on the door since it’s never locked. When I walked inside, I found him sitting on the couch with a wine bottle on his hand.

“He’s drinking again. This is not good.” I thought.

He looked up and simply went back to enjoying his drinks without saying anything to me. I sat beside him.

“Will you tell me?” I asked.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“I’m here for you, Rang.” I told him, “You can trust me.”

“Why did you come?” he turned to me and raised one of his eyebrows to look tough.

“I was worried about you.” I answered honestly. He turned away and started to gulp down the wine from the bottle.

“Is this about Yeon?” I finally asked.

He suddenly stopped and slowly turned to me, “Didn’t I mention that I was too tired to talk?”

How could he say something like that? Couldn’t he see how worried I have been? All this time, I was trying to understand him better. I did everything to make him feel like he wasn’t alone. I was always there for him when he needed me. All I’ve ever asked was to be honest with me. Can’t he at least do that?

“I wish you would trust me enough to tell me the truth.” I stood up. It was better to leave him when he is in a mess. Otherwise we’ll both end up hurting each other.

“y/n” he called from behind as I walked towards the door.

I looked back. I could see tears forming in his eyes as he slowly walked towards me.

“I’m sorry.” his voice shook.

I nodded and hugged him. He hold me into a tight embrace and started to sob. We stood like that for a while. When he finally stopped, he looked at me with a little confusion in his eyes.

“I guess,” I whispered, “this is the part where we kiss?”

He smiled, then took my face in both of his hands and finally kissed me...

Maze Runner Book Series Review

I’ve just finished reading the The Maze Runner Trilogy (The Maze Runner, The Scorch Trials, The Death Cure) by James Dashner. Now I would like to share my opinion about it.

While reading, I felt like I was one of the Gladers. I’ve experienced all the adventures. In the first book, I felt excited as well as fear. In the second one, I felt a new strength took over me. In the end, I felt really exhausted after the journey. My heart was broken and I remembered everything I went through with them.

Reading these books at this time hits different. I kept wondering about the life without a family. How hard it must be to survive in such a devastated world. Anyway, I also feel like it could be possible if you have such loyal friends.

I specifically liked the relationship between Thomas, Newt and Minho. This trio made the last book more emotional. My favourite parts were when Minho literally said “I love you” to Thomas and of course the “Please Tommy, please.”

This Jimin

This Jimin is sweet. This Jimin is precious. This Jimin is adorable. I must protect this Jimin.

My Mysterious Neighbour

Fandom: The Tale of the Nine Tailed

Characters: Lee Rang, reader, some bullies.

TW: Bullies (nothing too violent)

I couldn’t believe that my friend left for home without me just because I was in a detention. I waited for her when she was there. Now I had to walk home all alone through this seemingly vacant road.

I was in a really bad mood as I walked home thinking how terrible the day had been. As if the day could have been worse, I heard footsteps behind me. “y/n”, I stopped to turn back when I heard someone calling me, “where is your little girlfriend who’s always stuck to you with a glue?”

It was Henry, the biggest bully in our school. I noticed that his three sidekicks were also behind him chuckling like idiots in his not-really-funny joke. Then I saw something which sent a chill down my spine. Henry had a pocket knife in his hand.

“What are they gonna do to me?” I thought to myself as they approached me taking some slow steps. I knew Henry was not right in his head. Juniors from school feared him. But fortunately I never had to encounter him and his group. But I guess, my unfortunate day had arrived.

I knew there was nothing I could do since they were more in numbers. But I still needed to try. So I turned back and ran as fast as I could. I was never a good runner. In fact, I always came last in school races. They eventually caught up with me and one of them grabbed me by the hair. Tears came through my eyes as a sudden pain shot through my head.

“Stop!” I shouted at Henry and struggled to get free. They were all giggling like some crazy people. I doubt if any of them had any sanity left in them.

Then I saw a car came and parked beside us. They let go of my hair and I ran toward the car. I was relieved to see Lee Rang stepping out of it.

Lee Rang was my neighbour. We had crossed path once in a while but never really talked. I found him uniquely attractive and wanted to get acquainted.  But he always seemed like he had some urgent works and also there was always a girl with him.

He was surprisingly alone today and it seemed like he wasn’t busy either. “Need a hand?” I wondered whom he asked that question. “Of course not the bullies!” I thought to myself. Then he gave me reassuring smile and my temporary fear melt right away.

“Why don’t you come one at a time at her?”

“Who the fuck are you?” Henry shouted back at him.

Rang gave a sly smile and said, “Trust me, you don’t wanna find out.”

This made Henry mad somehow and he came at him with his knife. Rang grabbed his hand and twisted it, making the knife fall on the ground. Henry screamed in pain. The others didn’t dare to move.

“I’ll let you off today, little ones.” Rang told them, “Only don’t let me catch you again.”

Then he came back and lead me inside his car. We got in. He looked at me and asked in a rather gentler voice than before, “Are they angry tears on your face?”

“Yes!” I burst out, “I hate it came this way. If only I could punch him in his face!”

I didn’t expect Rang to laugh at this. He gave me twisted smile and asked, “then why don’t we go back and make your wish come true?”

Whom I went for VS whom I stayed for... <3

"Think of you when I'm going to bed

When I wake up, think of you again."

Noona! Please! Help! - Part 3

Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.1K Words Warning: Angsty (It’s me), mention of child abuse, self doubt, did I mention angst? Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

Who Will Pay the Rent?

9:24 a.m. 1st September, 2015

“Just a few more minutes left.” Yoongi sighs heavily, “you could have easily saved the bother to come here, today.”

“What happened?” I ask, taking the empty seat beside him. “I thought you said that we’re winning today. What’s up with that long face?”

“It seemed like that at the first half.” Yoongi nods towards the field, “as you can see, the tables took a 180 degree turn.”

Honestly, I don’t understand a thing about basketball. It is better to just take Yoongi’s words as they are. I ask him the important question now, “how much do you owe them?”

Yoongi intentionally avoids eye contact and keeps looking at the match without a reply. I notice that he is sweating like crazy. I understand now that it is not just about the game.

“Don’t tell me you have to sell a kidney to pay them.” I jokingly say to which he doesn’t budge. I grow agitated. “Yoongi! C’mon, tell me what it is?”

He sighs and says, “It’s just worth my rent, that’s all.”

“Your rent?” I ask, “like for the month?”

Yoongi nods and stays silent. We both remain silent for the rest of the game. I wish I could offer to help him. It is most likely that he will not accept anything directly from me. I, on the other hand, am not in a place to help him either.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly take a look at Jimin’s message saying he’s going inside the exam hall right now. I write a small “good luck” reply and put my phone back inside the pocket.

Yoongi starts to stand up from his seat, “Let’s get out of here! It’s not like anything can change in the last few minutes.”

I nod and follow him out of the stadium. He asks me if I want something to eat to which I shake my head.

“Noona!” Yoongi says, “Stop worrying about me. It’s not like I’m going bankrupt or something. It’s just some stupid amount of money, that’s all.”

“So,” I start hesitantly, “who will pay the rent?”

“I’ll manage that somehow, Noona. I always do.”

Yoongi’s the one among us who’s the most desperate to make a lot of money. That’s why he goes into these betting games and all. I once heard from Jin that he had found Yoongi starving himself because he lost all his money on some games and Jin had helped him that one time even though Yoongi refused to be helped. I don’t really approve of his ways but who am I to stop him? I did not raise him. I don’t even understand his ways of thinking.

I still feel like I should advise him to stop this nonsense and try something else. Something permanent. He is a genius and I know he will be able to figure something out if he wants. But I also feel like today is not the time to lecture him on life. Not when he’s already so stressed about it.

I decide to head to my next destination. I am not going to leave Yoongi in this state. So, I ask him, “If you don’t have to be anywhere, will you come with me?”

“I can manage some time. Where will you take me, Noona?”

“We’re going to meet Jimin.”

Jimin’s exam will be finished at around 11 a.m. So, Yoongi and I wait for him outside the hall where there seems to be a huge crowd of the guardians of the other students. I mentally pray that Jimin will be able to outsmart them on his test today.

“I never understand Jimin’s appeal for education.” Yoongi says.

“I think it’s the same one as yours.” I offer an explanation, “Come to think of it. At the end of the day you both want to win at life. By elevating your status. Either with education or with money.”

“You know what, Noona?”

“What?”

“I hate it so much that you’re always right!” There is a faint line of smile on his face as he says the last sentence.

“Yoongi” I suddenly feel an urge to talk to him seriously. Yoongi barely talks about his real issues.

“Noona?”

“I’m asking this because I’m really worried about you, okay?”

Yoongi frowns, “I think I know what you’re going to say. I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry, Noona!”

“Oh no, dear!” I quickly add, “You don’t have to apologize. I understand that you’re going through tough times.”

“Noona!” Yoongi looks at a distance as he speaks, “Do you remember ma’s face? Like, not the one as we see in her pictures. The face of her when she was sick. That face she had before she could finally rest after years of pain she went through.”

I don’t know why Yoongi is suddenly bringing this topic. Is he really missing ma all of a sudden or just trying to change the topic? Yoongi glances at me for a second and I can see his eyes glistening.

“If only I had the money, I would have taken a bus from school to come to see you.” Yoongi sniffs, “he wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I begged him to. Said it was a ‘waste of good money seeing some sick people’. I don’t think I can ever move on from the fact that I never saw ma and pa again after I left that house.”

“Yoongi!” I can barely make myself audible.

Yoongi never talked about the times he spent with our uncle who took him in when ma fell sick. Yoongi was only four at that time and he was the only one who never came to visit us occasionally during the five years when ma and pa were still alive. When I used to ask pa about it, he would always say that Yoongi was too busy with his school. I only got to see him first at their funeral. Only after Yoongi left uncle’s place for good when he was finally eighteen, we started meeting almost regularly.

“I’m sorry, Noona, I turned up this way.” Yoongi looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, “I didn’t really have an opportunity to be any better than this. Of course, I won’t use this as an excuse. I’m all grown up now and I’m trying to be more responsible. I swear, Noona, you will be proud of me like all the rest of our brothers one day. I will make that happen.”

“But I am proud of you!” I say, “I am proud of how strong you are. I am proud that after all those shits you went through, you still grew up to be such a kind and sweet soul.”

“Thank you, Noona! But you don’t really have to cheer me up.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders, “I know me.”

“And I know you too.” I slowly move towards him and pull him into a hug, “I see you, Yoongi. I see you!” I slowly pat him on his back as I can sense him fighting the urge to hug me back.

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Singularity

Fandom: BTS

Pairing: Namjoon × Reader

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“Shit!” I huffed out as I had to climb the stairs up to the third floor and my poor lungs wouldn’t want to cooperate as always, “I forgot my water bottle at home again.”

“You can have mine, no problem!” a boy handed me his half filled plastic bottle.

I usually follow one rule while drinking water from other people’s bottles. I ask them if they touch their lips to the bottles opening while drinking and usually refuse to drink from the same bottle if they do.

That day, however, I didn’t have the mind to do that as I straight up uncapped the bottle to finish the whole thing in one go. When I looked up to say ‘thanks’ and ‘sorry’, he was already gone. As it was almost time for the next class, I supposed he hurried to get to his. I remembered the boy’s name to be Namjoon.

Namjoon was a boy I would often see in between classes. Sometimes we would nod, ask when the next class was or simply smile at each other. And then, we’d go our separate ways. I knew him just like that. I didn’t remember ever having a full conversation with him.

I didn’t see him again after that day. But I heard some rumors about him around the campus not long after. He was accused of saying something that sparked controversy. Since I didn’t know him in person I never expressed my opinion on the matter. But I had a lingering wish to meet him again, to return his empty plastic bottle that I still carry in my bag.

That wish came true when I finally saw him again.

He was having lunch at an empty table at the corner of the cafeteria. There was no one around so I walked up to him right away.

“I’m so sorry I could not return your bottle that day!” I had told him.

“What bottle?” He looked at me with genuine confusion.

I took out the said bottle from my bag to put on the table. Namjoon let out a chuckle at its sight. “You wanted to return this?”

“I know, it might not be a huge deal to you. But I literally can’t sleep in peace until I return what I borrow from someone else. Be it a pen or book or whatever.” I explained myself clearly to which Namjoon nodded and took the empty bottle off the table.

“I’ll take it back then.” He said, “Hope it gives you some peace.”

He shook his head slightly and laughed. For some reason, I felt overwhelmed seeing him laugh like that. His eyes completely vanished behind the wrinkles as he laughed. He looked so unreal. I couldn’t make up my mind why I was feeling that way at such a small act of someone I barely knew. But I had a feeling that it was a moment I would never witness again. I felt the need to capture it in a picture so that I could look at it whenever I wanted to.

However, I didn't take his picture that day. Instead I stood there for a while, enjoying the moment as it was. He didn’t invite me to sit next to him. I wished he did.

The next time I heard about Namjoon was from a group of friends talking about college in general. I wasn't minding their gossip until I heard them speak about him.

"Good grades aren't everything, you see!" One of them said, "you need to have a better character to not be kicked out of school like that."

I was shocked to find what happened to Namjoon regarding those rumors. As much as I wanted to interrupt their conversation, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Yet my heart couldn't believe a word of the dirty talks I heard around. Even though I wasn't a friend of his, neither was I an acquaintance, in my heart, I still pictured him as the smiling boy who had helped me at the time I needed it.

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Note: Inspired by a dream...

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