One Time My Mom Took Me To A Hibachi Grill With A Bunch Of Her Friends And If You've Never Been To A

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

normal is when the girl with a penis is in your porn. woke is when the girl with a penis is in your coffee shop.

not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.

we went to bed at 6pm last night and whenever i woke up my brain would try to slowly reconstruct the phrasing and imagery of McDonald's Honey Bustard Pickled Sea fuck meal and as soon as id get it right i would fall back asleep happened about a dozen times

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

really confused here because i am primarily an english speaker and i pronounce it yow-ee but i ALSO speak japanese, and knowing how to pronounce the word in japanese, yow-ee seems like a perfectly fine anglicization of the word and yah-oi does not. i feel like separating all the vowels (ya-oh-ee) is the closest to whats "correct" but that just sounds really awkward in american english

Completely unrelated to my blog content but I have to settle a dispute between my partner system and I.

Here’s the little disagreement under the cut:

My psys insisted that it was pronounced “yow-ee” and when corrected, then said that the way I pronounce it (the Japanese pronunciation—“yah-oy” or “ya-oh-ee” and the correct one) isn’t the way she has always heard English speakers say it. I’ve never Ever heard it pronounced like this, even among those that don’t speak Japanese. I’m curious if it just happened to be her friend groups or if this is as widespread as she says!

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.