Если бы только фотографии могли передать то, насколько

For the next time like this Zack should bring Cloud to distract Sephiroth and it suddenly turns into double date 😂

Imagine Aerith is finally introducing her boyfriend to Sephiroth who he has supposedly never seen yet (though he unknowingly already has) So when he answers the door, he’s surprised to see Zack standing there, realizes he’s Aerith’s boyfriend and looks just about ready to kill.

Zack *excitedly*: “Sephiroth!!!”

Sephiroth: “Zaaackk!”

Zack: “Sephiroth!!!!”

Sephiroth *slightly angrier voice*: “Zaaaacckk 👹”

Zack: *sweating*: Sephiroth…

Older brother!Sephiroth insists on joining them for the most awkward dinner date in the history of dates.

Aerith, squinting at the menu: They say the ribs here are amazing. I wonder, though, how do you even cut those apart?

*Sephiroth slowly holds up a steak knife, maintaining direct eye contact. Zack starts trembling*

Aerith, still focused on the menu: I guess a steak knife could work. But does it need that much force?

*Sephiroth impales his own menu, Zack shrieks and dives under the table*

Here, I’ll help you. Г

Just take it from me.

We need more games with romanceable antagonists

Witcher modern AU where Julian Alfred Pancratz, who has a B.A. from Oxford in Philosophy, minoring in language–earned it all by himself even if his parents did technically pay his way in in the first place. They were hoping he would study law, he didn’t, and they’re vaguely supportive but absolutely don’t understand why he won’t at least go back and get his master’s, maybe teach or something? 

But no. No, this idiot, on a whim one day towards the beginning of college, decided that playing guitar was boring so he went and bought himself a lute off Amazon and taught himself how to play through YouTube tutorials and the second he got his B.A. he fucked off to a Ren Faire and was like, “Behold! In my free time I’ve rewritten all of these pop songs in ye Old English and taught myself how to play them on a lute.” And he’s pretty much hired on the spot because he looks the look and walks the walk and has all of this boundless energy and unrestrained confidence. He goes by Jaskier at work and eventually just starts introducing himself as that outside of work because whatever, he likes it better than Julian. It means buttercup and flowers are pretty and he writes a ballad about it to play on the job. 

His parents just. Don’t understand. He’s young, though, and he’s having fun, and he’s making money, so they don’t actually have a problem with it but they Don’t Get It. 

It just gets worse when Jaskier meets Geralt. 

Yennefer and Geralt are this on again, off again thing and during one of their off periods when Yen isn’t too angry at Geralt to refuse to talk to him, she drags him to the Ren Faire all dressed up in her finished sorceress costume and she’s made Geralt wear this nice doublet and leather pants and pull his hair back. Geralt is like, “Okay, fine.” And he lets Yen drag him around all she wants and Jaskier sees him and is instant heart eyes, spends the whole time following them around with the worst love ballads, and Yennefer finds it HILARIOUS. 

When Jaskier gets the chance to actually talk to them he finds out that Geralt technically doesn’t have a job, he just does odd work wherever he can find it which makes him some weird jack-of-all-trades. Pest problems? He knows weird tricks to deal with that. AC broke? He can probably fix it. Remodeling your home? Geralt can probably rebuild the damn thing from scratch. Radiator broken? Just pay for the parts and he’ll replace it for half the service of a normal mechanic with none of the up-selling bullshit.

Jaskier is like, “Perfect because we’ve actually been looking for a handy man around here since our last once decided that traveling on the road wasn’t for him, SOOO let me sweet talk some people.” 

Geralt’s not sure but then Yen finds out that she would get free admission and demands he does it, so like, sure, okay. 

Then a few months into it one of the knights gets injured and they’re like FUCK who can we train with a sword on short notice who looks like they could actually handle a sword? All eyes turn to Geralt. Who is also like, “…Fuck.” 

He’s not a good performer. The knights are supposed to make all these grand speeches about honor and valor and they give the script to Geralt and he reads three lines and then just doesn’t read the rest, because whatever, this is a temporary thing anyway until the other knight heals so he doesn’t care about fucking it up. He’s only doing it because Jaskier gave him puppy dog eyes and has already written five ballads about his imaginary conquests so when the sword fighting and jousting stuff comes up and the other knight makes their big long speech and it comes to Geralt he just shrugs and goes, “I’m here to fight, not talk.” 

And the crowd loves it. They lose their shit. Geralt does NOT get to go back to being a general handy man, much to his annoyance, and he can’t walk through the Faire without people constantly stopping him to take pictures with him. They go nuts over this stoic, reluctant knight at the Ren Faire who only vaguely smiles if you happen to catch him having lunch with the bard. 

Jaskier brings him home for the holidays. This big, imposing man who their son got hired on at the fair as a handyman because he was unemployed at the time, no formal education, stupidly good with a sword, doesn’t talk much, is all over social media scowling in selfies with people and covered in dirt. These poor middle-to-upper-class parents desperately trying to understand why their Oxford graduate son is so happy living life as a Ren Faire bard dating the gruff handyman turned knight, they just Don’t. Understand.

Part 2

Part 1

Listen I’m dumb so here’s more of that Ren Faire AU. I will not write an actual fic because my attention span is funky but anyone else can and they can either use this or not use this but here’s how these losers get together in my head. 

So Jaskier already knows he’s got a hard on for Geralt, obviously, he knew that from day one but he didn’t realize it could get WORSE, and it does get WORSE. It’s a couple weeks into Geralt working there and he’s busy so Jaskier doesn’t get to see him that often besides, like… Around the Faire sometimes, when Geralt is checking equipment and things and running errands, so obviously he’s dressed like he belongs at the Faire, which is super attractive and fits Geralt like a dream, plus he’s always kind of sexy and covered in dust or with a smear of grease on his nose from working on something, Jaskier is so down with that. 

Meanwhile Geralt also only sees Jaskier during the Faire and he likes Jaskier, is the thing. Jaskier got him the job, and it’s actually a pretty good job, he likes having a steady income and the work keeps him busy. He doesn’t actually have to deal with people. He also gets to travel. As much he liked fixing the old lady’s sink across the hall every other month (because she was old, and a plumber would take advantage of her, and she doesn’t have a lot of money to begin with, and he’s hardly ever busy and it’s just that the piping is old and keeps coming loose so it’s not even inconvenient) she doesn’t pay him with money, she pays him with overripe papaya and Yen was right, he actually needed a real job. 

He also likes Jaskier because Jaskier is just nice. Jaskier can talk enough for twelve people, so he’s never bothered that Geralt doesn’t have much to say. And he catches on quick to Geralt’s dry humor and snickers at his awful jokes. Geralt’s gruff attitude and perpetually bad mood never seem to dull his so yeah, Jaskier is just a general joy to be around. 

Then one night he can’t sleep so he decides to go wandering around. It’s two AM, the moon is bright, the air is fresh, it’s just NICE out and then he sees Jaskier sitting off at a picnic table and is like, okay, let’s go see what the bard is up to this early in the morning. 

He gets close enough and they both just freeze. Deer in headlights when they see each other. 

Because Jaskier is sitting there in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, eating Taco Bell he had Doordash drop off fifteen minutes ago and writing in a leather journal with a god damn fountain pen that looks like a big feather. Geralt has never seen Jaskier look so human before. He looks vulnerable and young and absolutely beautiful. 

Meanwhile Geralt is wearing an undershirt and jeans that show of his arms and this scar on his shoulder that Jaskier is dying to put his mouth on, and Geralt ALSO looks very human, and real, and not like some 16th century myth of a man, but like someone Jaskier could sit next to and lean against and talk to and maybe even drag this poor man back to the showers and wash out his hair because it had that look to it like Geralt had been sweating all day and hadn’t bothered to rinse it out well. 

They both realize right then and there that they are FUCKED. 

Geralt is like “Couldn’t sleep.” And Jaskier is like, “Need to keep my pop song list updated.”

And it’s awkward until Jaskier invites Geralt to sit down under the pretense of listening to his pop song covers and Geralt obliges but admits that he’s not really a music person, so he’ll probably just say that all of them are fine. And Jaskier’s like, “Cool, I was only going to pretend to take your opinion into consideration anyway, just to be polite.” 

They might make out that night. Who knows. Maybe they just decide that they like each other’s company way more than they thought at first so they keep meeting up like that and THEN make out one night. But they definitely make out one night. 

And after Geralt might end up calling Yennefer in a slight panic because he made out with the bard and fuck, now what, does this mean we’re dating, do I take him on a date, where do you think he would like to go on a date, he makes this little noise when he likes something and it’s great, I want to kiss him more but what if he doesn’t want to kiss more, Yen help. And she laughs and hangs up on his ass. The good thing is while Geralt is gruffly awkward in a way that doesn’t come across as awkward, Jaskier can not only talk for twelve people but also has enough confidence for twelve people, and the next morning he bounds over to kiss Geralt’s cheek and tell him his hair looks like shit and needs a good condition before work.

‪Крокодильные странички 🐊‬ #crocodile#art#reptile#reptiles#крокодил#рептилия#рептилии#рисунок https://www.instagram.com/p/B3D8gAfordt/?igshid=1u5sbilbxgyrm

fortitude and forgiveness

my entry for the genshin fanart event! thank you so much ;;

Good Night.

It’s surprising how with all the fandoms and interests I have, there’s only two things that make me feel safe, comfortable, at home and put my mind to rest, and both are about hunting demons.

girls (gender neutral) will feel one millimeter of anxiety and put on season one of supernatural

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told - The story of a man afraid of flying, and an angel afraid of falling, who somehow met in the middle. The man who denied the existence of angels came to love one. The angel who never felt began to feel. The man who was saved from an eternity in Hell by an angel. The angel who fell in every way imaginable for a man. The man, with a clear path to escape, decided instead to stay in Purgatory for a year, searching for his angel, praying to him every night. Begging. When he found him, he held him; he told him that he needed him, that he’d get him out, even if it killed them both. The angel rejected his faith, his family, his home, and everything he knew, so he could keep the man safe. They stay together despite fate, despite what they are, because they refuse to be pulled apart.