Mack’s Doneness In Agents Of Shield Is The Type Of Apathy I Aspire To Feel. He Just Does Not Care Anymore.

Happy month of May to all who celebrate!!

You can use any travel method you like, walking, public transport, so on. You can get an uber but their map has failed so you'll have to give directions. You can travel to other countries and count those libraries but you have to be able to completely navigate from your home without assistance. So you can catch a plane but must be able to travel to and from the airport. No limit on how long it takes. If you know which block it's on or which tram line but aren't sure precisely, but you feel sure you'd find it once you got there, count that as a yes (if you're not sure maybe google it now and see if your plan would work). You cannot rely on asking for directions though, this must be all your knowledge

Once a hero, always a hero🦾

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

She is young; some would say very young. But the light in her eyes is mother-light all the same, purified and holy through exhaustion and pain. She forgets the pain for the joy of a man-child brought into the world, and her gaze rests on him, lying there in the straw.

He is an ordinary child with the ordinary, transcendent beauty of a newborn. The man who is not his father washed the blood from him, hands trembling and so, so careful. This Son of God is a helpless baby, but he is still God's Son.

No words can express the wonder of a birth, of nigh unendurable pain that bursts suddenly into eternal joy. The child is crying with the thin, short bursts of a one so newly born; he is healthy, flushed and swaddled well in the new cloths brought for the purpose. There is a mess nearby, but it is unimportant.

There is a commotion; shepherds, gentled by reverence, speaking in hushed tones of angels singing their praises, of a newborn king. They drop to their knees before the baby, as if no wonder in the world had ever been so mighty. And perhaps it had not.

Mary watches, and she stores up all these things in her heart. There is so much she cannot understand. Someday the whole tapestry of her son's life will be shown to her; for now, this is enough.

She gathers her boy to her, and wonders if she, too, can hear the angel's song.

Diana Wynne Jones wins big once again for understanding that the funniest way to write an isekai/portal fantasy is from the point of view of the people living in the fantasy world who look at the character who got isekai’d from our world and are like ‘WHAT is that guy’s deal???’

Howl/Howell stumbling back into his moving castle drunk after a night with his rugby bros is like the second funniest scene in that book, closely followed by poor Sophie getting reverse isekai’d and taking a day trip to Wales and suffering the terrible ordeal of a ride in a car.

I was out on a ramble with one of my dogs just now, and it really was a nice ramble. Bit of trespassing, bit of ice. Walking right overtop the stream, as it's been quite cold for the past few weeks, though it was relatively warm today. It was along a part of the stream I'd never been along, as it is decidedly not our property, and not conveniently along the road.

So I was out rambling, and came across a very nice tree arch, a bridge, some kind of abandoned tiller thing??? and a couple frozen waterfalls. It was along a very briar and bramble and bush filled section of the creek, though, and I had to get a little creative getting around some of these obstacles.

My dog, however, had no such qualms. He was off darting over and under all these brambles and branches and all such, and often looked back to see why I was being so slow, while I clumsily, cumbersomely, awkwardly crawled under branches or carefully held back thorns as I attempted to step over them.

I felt rather like a parent whose child was trying to show them something, squeezing between fenceposts that the parent had to either climb over or go around, as the child wonders why their parent's being so slow.

And then I wondered if that's how Aragorn felt traveling with the hobbits? He's been in these woods since he was 2, knows every tree and rock and leaf. He knows what he's doing. But they're traveling and there's a briar patch, and he's all ready to tell the hobbits 'alright, we'll have to cut through this. get behind me so you don't get hurt.' ... But they're already darting under and around and through it like Brer Rabbit himself. Pippin calls back 'Strider, you wouldn't even let us stop for second breakfast! what are you doing back there?' And even injured Frodo is skipping through it like a deer, and he's wondering how exactly he thought he was this great woodsman when these hobbits who have never stepped a foot outside of the Shire in their lives are just. staring at him. from the other side of the briar patch. that he can't get through.

Reblog to make it die faster

me when i reach out first: ewww they hate me im annoying i should leave them alone

when people reach out to me first: YAYY THEY REMEBER I EXIST I AM KNOWN AND I AM LOVED

Oo, these are fun! Here's a few other ideas that popped into my head:

What if Coulson was alive for the events of season six?

What if May didn't leave Providence to find Maria?

What if Tripp was inhuman?

What if Hope lived?

What if Cal found Daisy earlier?

What if May didn't marry Andrew?

What if Jemma was the LMD?

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "What If...?" scenarios bc s3 was lowkey mediocre and there were no AoS references throughout the season so now I'm salty and centering a whole season around AoS:

(yes some of these are from a previous post)

What if Fitz was the true HYDRA mole?

What if Coulson was dead the whole time and his adventures were all in his brain?

What if the team never escaped the Framework?

What if Daisy got corrupted by the Darkhold?

What if Raina got Daisy's powers?

What if Hive won?

What if the agents joined the final battles against Thanos?

What if half of the agents were Snapped?

What if Daisy was taken to Asgard by Sif?

What if May decided to not go to Bahrain?

What if Mack sacrificed himself in place of Lincoln?

What if Jemma remained on Maveth forever?

(TW) What if Kora never killed herself in the main timeline?

What if Ward was really a triple agent?

What if Loki and Coulson met again?

What if Izel controlled Daisy?

What if the Avengers found out about Coulson's resurrection?