Eeeeeeismeee - E

I relapsed into sh again, after having been clean for about 15 days

Usually I manage to go about a month clean before urges get too bad

And I did my arm for the first time (I usually only do my legs)

So yeah

I only quit because I have to take swimming classes at school and they're the absolute worst

wdym just staring at the document won't get me any work done

Are you ever so hyperaware of your body whilst in public and you’re trying not to burst into tears…. Hahah yeah me either

if ed, why no skinny

If I for some reason ever end up having kids of my own I will never ever comment on their body, their weight or compare them to other children, not even their siblings, and then try to soothe them by telling them they're just built bulky. No. I will definitely not be encouraging of they may be overweight and - fucking (un)surprisingly - eat less. And if they lose weight, I won't comment on how grown up they look now with all the face fat gone or grab their ribcage and act fucking impressed or openly diet in front of them or fucking WALK INTO THE ROOM TO WEIGH MYSELF EVERY DAY WHILST I LITERALLY STAND THERE LIKE 🧍🏽

And if I notice my kid is ⭐ving themselve I'm not going comment on it constantly and never do anything, and I won't just shut up when they suddenly begin eating again, devouring everything in sight and all the other things.

And if their Grandma does any of these things I'm just not going to let them see each other when I'm not around. Because I won't have her feed them every fucking calorie in the house just because she didn't give a shit, and then have her try to gossip about my weight with my Mom and keep fucking comparing me to my sister and shit there is so much more and I'm sorry for the rant

i feel so gross knowing i ate all the food on my plate but they didn’t even make a dent in theirs. like hello wdym

Nothing compares to the deep sadness I feel whenever my monster can is getting empty and I have only one last sip left

Got logged out of my EA account today and I can't remember my passwords (plus the email address I used is inactive now). Guess even my computer thinks I should stop fucking procrastinating and WORK because there's literally nothing fun I can do anymore besides that now that I can't play Sims anymore (cuz it's too late for music and I have an injury that flares up sometimes and it's huuurts right now, so I can't even work out and my friend is not responding even though we wanted to call this evening)

STATS??

Well let's just say I'm not overweight but I'm quite definitely not underweight yet 😭 and so I don't feel comfortable sharing that until I've reached at least one gw sorry