This Can’t Be Worse Than Hell. This Can’t Be Any Fucking Worse Than Hell. I Literally Cannot Fucking

Everything hurts it was like I was talking to her again I’m hideous and I never want to look at myself again I just feel so ugly and terrible and so unworthy I wish that a specific genital was preferred over my whole entire fucking being I hate myself you Make me hate myself I’m so hideous and ugly and I never want to be seen by anyone ever again

I feel sick and anxious im not trying to be a brat or talk against you or anything I just don’t feel okay right now

I want to relapse over and over and over again I don’t know why I don’t I just want to fucking die

Please fucking help me

You’ll never really understand how mych you meant to me

I’m sos Kerry things ended the way they were. I know I don’t need you in my lfie Andy more because you aren’t right for me and I’m not right for you. That’s okay. But that doesn’t mean I dont love you. Maybe not romantically but I still have respect for you. I fucking miss you so much sometimes. I wish you erent a terrible personI . I love you so fucking much not like actual love but oh my god I wish you weren’t the way you were. You were such a staple in my life. Maybe not a good one but I fucking miss you sometimes. You were one of my best friends.

I am listening to a song that reminds me of you while under the influence. It’s Eva by orgy. “What happened to you? You know it makes me wonder” is a line that fucking kills me. All of it does. Please just come back one more time before I lose my mind.

I know you aren’t good for me and I know after im down crying over this INKNOW I will be okay. I just fucking miss the memories and I can’t cope with them properly. I do still miss you sometimes. But I know im feeling it stronger because I am an about to start and also I am drunk and high as shit . 8 8i just miss someone making me feel that way. It was a unique fun experience most of the time . I remember this sign playing while I told you so much how I loved you. Oh my god it makes me sick to my stomach

THISBIS such a good song too. God im so sorry. I’m so sorry for fucking E very thing. I love you so much and sometimes I’d do FUCKJNG a nything to get you back, but not really. I’m just really emotional right now:

You were sk important to me and you are someone I could never forget. I wish I could forgive you but I just have to question why you would do that to me. It’s okay though because I needed to get this cry out. You were such an important person in my FUCKIGN lfie and I took advantage of it and im fucking sorry. I’m so sorry.!8 wish they this never ever happened I’m sorry I even got with you. I really loved you. I can’t be upset with our you now really. This is what I needed. I neeeded to let you go . But I still miss you and still love you so fucking much. Sometimes. Just sometimes.

I’m not backtracking in my progress I’m just reaching a little bitty mishap and that’s okay. I just t miss you so fucking much sometimes . I just hope one day I’ll get the clairty that I fucking desvere. And if I don’t that’s completely okay. I just want to get over this. This is just a little thing cuz im emotional and drunk and high as shit. And this song turned on. I don’t even know why I’m crying over you. You don’t deserve my tears. Things are okay without you but sometimes i do think about you . And I just hope the best for you because I just can’t hate you anymore I need to move on z . It’s okay. We will both be okay. It’s al gona be okay. It really is. I I will be okay

Getting beat and kicked down until I’m close to an unrecognizable mess and then you kiss me disgustingly on my blood filled mouth. I give you my full consent to beat the shit out of me and leave me clinging onto consciousness then admiring what damage you have done to me. I love being abused what can I say. It turns me on

I am so embarrassed that I made a scene and it’s honestly making all of this so much worse. I feel awful and I never want to show my face again

I am going toblow my head off I need to kill myself I have nobody

I need friends I need help I just need somebody I am drowning

I wish it didn’t fucking hurt as much as it did. I wish it didn’t take everything in me to not text you and beg for you back. I can’t do it.

I just have to accept you’re gone and that you never really loved me. Why does it still hurt? Why am I still affected like it happened yesterday? I shouldn’t be judging myself for this because it is completely human, such as I, and I experience emotions like everyone else albeit very very intensely. I just feel so alone and I don’t know why.

I have everything I want it feels like. I’m learning how to make music on computer. I have friends. I have a wonderful relationship. I have support. I get constant money and am so lucky financially. I get out more. I have all the clothes I want. I have parents who care. What the fuck is wrong with me and why am I like this? Why do I feel alone right now? Why do I feel the worst I’ve ever fucking felt?