I’m so sad and I miss you so much. You probably don’t miss me. I dont Even think you think twice about me. It kills me. Please come back.
I am empty
I genuinely believe God isn’t taking me out yet because this is his version of Hell for me which is being but can’t successfully die and purposely he’s dragging me through all of this pain and forcing me to stay alive because he knows I want out he won’t let me out he hates me
This is genuinely Hell I’m already in hell and he shaped it to seem like I’m living an individual shitty life no this is a punishment i don’t know what for but I’m scared and nothing I can do will ever let him forgive me and I’m scared I don’t want to be an awful person
I want to be forgiven in general but I just don’t want this anymore ill be a good person if you just let me fucking go on to a different place please I have prayed asking for d**th and nothjng has fucking happened because he knows there’s nothing I hate more than being alive
Fuck I’m cursed I don’t know if this is psychosis I don’t know but I’m genuinely convinced I’m living in Hell and that this is a punishment for something I did long long ago I am genuinely convinced I’m In hell Icant get out of my own brain what am I gonna do
Why do I keep seeing things that remind me of you or I would’ve sent to you if you were still here. God. I hate you so much please get out of My head
Genuinely nothing helps anymore it really is over for me
I don’t feel as hurt as I would’ve back then. I’m still just upset thinking about you too hard though. I hate this shit so much. I just want you to hurt. I dont Even Need you to miss me, I just want you to hurt and realize what you did was wrong. I can’t even understand how you couldn’t see what you did to me was wrong
I want to hide away from everyone forever. I dont want anybody to see me or to look at me anymore
Not even the one I love loves me anymore
support Le artistry
I’m an embarrassment to fucking everyone
I hate talking about it. I hate hearing people talk to me. I hate being known. I hate being “out there”. I hate everyone who says they prioritize me then they lie to me. I just wish that I was stable. I wish things were right. I’m so fucking unhappy and I thought I was doing better but I’m just not.
I feel so weird talking to anyone right now. I don’t like it and I don’t want to talk to anybody I want to be left alone forever. I just wish I was dead. It feels like the good times truly could never make up for the misery the rest of my life has to give me. I fucking hate everything. I hate thinking about what comes after. I hate thinking about the death process. I hate it all. I just want it over. I want to escape and just never be known and be alone forever.
I don’t want anyone to have anything to do with me. I feel so depressed and I try not to let these emotions get to me but Jesus Christ it’s so hard not to. My friends all discard me and I get talked over and it’s so tiring.
I just wish I was loved. I wish that I knew I was loved and cared about and praised and adored and whatever the fuck. I wish I didn’t need anyone else’s approval. I’m so fucking over it.
Kill me im so fucking done I’m so done i can’t take it anymore
TW FOR EXTREMELY HEAVY VENTING I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. PERSONAL VENT AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHT DIARY
156 posts