Based On That Iconic Parks N Rec Scene. U Know The One.

Thanks for the advice, Mr FB of I! That's the same thing my very good friend the Nigerian prince told me, too, so our MUST be true!

moments before the end of the world

My SVSSS Designs Masterpost

Opening my SVSSS design post because this shit is about to get long so I need to start now

BITCH ONE!! MQF!! a little guy

Batfamily at festivals & parades headcannons!

“Hang on a minute, where’s Dickhead?” Jason said, trying and failing not to look frantic as he searched the crowd getting ready to pull some shit if his brothers just been abducted in front of him. “Wait-“

Dick’s on the main float, somehow, standing next to three pretty ladies grinning and waving a feather boa at the crowd who’s screaming in delight in response.

Damian being forced to try street food - “this filth can’t be any better than Pennyworth’s food no matter what you say.” - and becomes addicted to churros, ordering exactly six batches in the space of twenty five minutes.

Cass and Steph throwing confetti at the crowd and starting a Mexican wave that spans the whole stand in spectacular fashion.

Bruce meeting Commissioner Gordon whilst in a compromising talk with Jason about revealing identities as he spins a pistol on his finger in front of a crowd of kids.

Explaining that is very interesting, including Jason having an uncle who is a ‘Texas ranger, who is very keen to pass on his tricks’ as well as ‘having an up to date permit, I assure you.’

The family had watched Texas Ranger on the television that morning, to Bruce’s chagrin, and the theme tune was stuck in his head. Gets mercilessly teased about his on the spot thinking by Dick and Steph.

The kids begging Bruce to get a float for the next parade.

Ends up relenting after a massive headache that only gets worse when he wakes up to a kid next to him - he wasn’t sure who, at that point - whispering ‘float, float, float’ under their breath. (It was Steph, who doesn’t even live at the manor).

Wins the best in show, because Bruce’s daredevil ragtag bunch of children have created a float on BATMAN AND HIS ASSOCIATES, compete with costumes and flower versions of their alter egos that has Bruce permanently on these anxiety pills.

Tim, Duke and Jason playing who can shout the loudest at a Pride march.

Cass’s dancing landing her in one parade, and the family all coming out to support her with massive, home painted signs.

“Come on Bruce, lighten up.” Duke munches on one of Damian’s churros that he’s nicked, earning a particular loud hiss that has people’s heads turning. “It’s a festival. It’s brightly coloured fun. Turn that frown upside down.”

Moments later the festival camera panning to Bruce, who slaps on a rather stressed looking smile as he realises that he’s lost all seven of his children in four minutes and thirty eight seconds. A new record, on their part.

Tim taking some bomb ass photos, ending up being recruited to take photos of the parade by some high end executive. When he realises that it’s Tim Drake-Wayne he’s been ordering around, almost dies.

Jason getting arrested. It happens every time, and Bruce still has no idea. “It must be a running gag,” he confides to Alfred one day after having to retrieve his son from the police station from a cake rights march - whatever that is - “because I have no idea why else he would do it.”

Alfred only nods because he knows exactly why, and his ward, who is his son all but in name, might be worlds greatest detective but has the thickest skull when it comes to anything remotely emotional.

The whole family being lit up with fluorescent necklaces and bracelets. A picture ends up in the Gotham Gazette, and Clark Kent makes sure that Bruce knows that he’s cut it out and saved it for a ‘rainy day’. How he got hold of it, Bruce isn’t sure.

Dressing Damian up in an elf suit for the Christmas parade works only with bribery of new swords. He’s on about fifteen new now, if his counting is correct - and it is, Damian is never wrong - “which will materialise or else there will be trouble, Father.”

Why not?

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

It Was All Obi-Wan’s Fault

Padme: …maybe Obi-Wan could help us.  Anakin: [wincing] Nah, I can’t…can’t talk to Obi-Wan about this. Or anything. Ever.  Padme: Why not? He cares about you; have you tried asking him if he – Anakin: Look, I’m telling you, I can’t talk to Obi-Wan! I have tried! But every time I try, he’s all…him about it, and it never works.  Padme: [nodding knowingly] Why, because he’s all [pompously] “No Ahhhhnnakin, I’m a Jedi and we don’t talk about this stuff…” Anakin: What? No, no, it’s not like that at all! I just…can’t. It’s not possible.  Padme: Ani, I don’t understand.  Anakin: Well…

[smash cut to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s quarters] Anakin: [seriously] Obi-Wan, I need to talk to you about something.  Obi-Wan: [sitting down right next to him, making intense eye contact] Of course, Anakin, what’s the matter? Anakin: [flustered] …I gotta go. 

[smash cut to Anakin, sitting in a ship next to Obi-Wan]  Anakin: Master, I have something that I need to tell you.  Obi-Wan: [trying to fix something on the ship, leaning over Anakin and pressing up against him repeatedly] Certainly Anakin…just…give me one second…I need to just adjust this…oh blast, hang on, I’m getting grease all over my tunic, I’m just going to remove it. There. [settling back into his seat, shirtless and sweaty] All right. What did you want to talk to me about? Anakin: [dying] No…nothing. I…let’s just go. On. The mission. 

[smash cut to Anakin, nervously biting his nails at the kitchen table]  Anakin: [gathering up the nerve] …Master? I really need to talk to you about something! It’s important! Obi-Wan: [strutting in from the refresher, wearing nothing but a towel] [taking Anakin’s hand] You know you can talk to me about anything, Anakin. Whatever is the matter? Anakin: [squeaks] 

Padme: [nodding] …I see.  Anakin: It’s horrible! He’s the worst! 

dick: so you think joker will be invited to harley and ivy’s wedding?

bruce: he’ll be there. in spirit if nothing else.

harley 24 hrs ago: so we’re gonna have a clown pinata, one for the adults an’ one for the kiddies, so EVERYONE gets a chance ta beat the shit outta a clown

bruce sipping a margarita while he flicks through a bridal magazine: nice

An interesting sci-fi short story from 4chan.

[Imgur]

If you’re writing the dynamic between the Batgirls as “fun guuurlfriends who have sleepovers and do each other’s nails” instead of “exhausted mom tries desperately to keep her chaotic daughter and said daughter’s EVEN MORE chaotic best friend/ambiguously gay life partner from getting themselves killed”, you’re doing it wrong. 

Music in Film: The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood