​can We Chill Tf Out Please I Have Homework To Do

Yeet yeet. I did this on a Saturday and I'm not home so boo.

"We may be small, but our hearts are large! Metaphorically speaking!" - Octavius; Night At the Museum (2006)

acast

Menus To Be Buried With - Judgement Day! | Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster on Acast

Look out! Brett Goldstein, Ped Plambles (Ed Gamble) & The Genie (James Acaster) meet once again for Judgement Day to talk all about their fa

Look out! Brett Goldstein, Ped Plambles (Ed Gamble) & The Genie (James Acaster) meet once again for Judgement Day to talk all about their favourite films meals all for Red Nose Day. On the menu this year we have bad dates, erotic meals and a very spicy curry. 

This Red Nose Day, let’s come together to raise some smiles – and some money – to tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems, and food poverty here in the UK and around the world. Please donate now if you can. Text PODCAST to 70205 to give £5 today.

Texts cost your donation amount plus your standard network message charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill-payer’s permission. For full terms and conditions visit comicrelief.com/podcastmashup

I don’t understand how it’s so funny but it is.😂

Stephen: I can’t believe you forgot your phone.

Tony: Yeah. I hope Peter liked the shirt I got him yesterday. Oh, he called.

Friday: You have 17 new messages.

Tony: What?!

Friday: Message 1.

Peter: Hey Mr. Stark, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. Ned can’t drive and I ran Shuri's car into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.

Shuri: You still owe me for that.

Peter: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Cars are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?

Ned: [Snoring]

Peter: Ned, you’re up! Talk to you later, Mr. Stark!

Friday: End of Message.

Tony: I’m not listening to all of these.

[skips to the last message]

Friday: Message 17.

Peter: Oh my god, is he dead?! Why did you put him in the car?!

MJ: It’s Flash, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!

Shuri: Peter, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?

Peter: Shuri, shut up! Mr. Stark, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Mr. Stark, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, Mr. Stark!

MJ: Peter, eyes on the road!

Ned: TRUCK!

All: [Screaming]

Friday: End of message.

Tony and Stephen: [stare at the phone in horror]

take his ass to margaritaville

This is us 100%

“James, was there a correct five point answer?”

*September 1st on Tumblr*

My favourite thing about Taskmaster is the neurodivergence seeping through the contestants as they try to work out the tasks

I feel very sad today and I don’t know why