I Desperately Need The Money, So Here’s Money Susie Brought Back.

AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.

Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.

And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.

So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.

Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-

Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰

Hero!Dream: wait wha-

Technoblade: I’ll take it from here

And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.

I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.

Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared

Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)

Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house

She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.

There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.

Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-

“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”

I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)

LET ME POLL GODDAMNIT

No offense but i wish EVERYONE could make them at this point

me and my siblings came up with a new game today, we call it "pass the zap". You basically stand on the trampoline, find a way to zap yourself, and then pass it along. Our record is passing it through 12 people.

why have humans created things such as humanoid robots, and yet we are still using those horrible tiny things to put pictures in frames?

today is not my birthday

Reblog this if today isn't your birthday

Honestly though, Would've, Could've, Should've is one of my favourites on Midnight

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve // Midnight Rain

When will people start to understand the difference between "I'm sad because I'm alive" and "I'm sad because im not dead"??!!!

No but it would be hilarious if Nico can be completely oblivious of his impactful position.

I mean it in the way that Hades is clearly putting more trust, privileges and responsibilities on him than any other demigod can come close to, and yet Nico still thinks it’s nothing, that those are just petty “errands” his father requests of him as an excuse to give him extra allowance.

Something like:

Nico: What do you mean favorite? Dad doesn’t play favorite.

Apollo: Nico, Uncle is forging you a crown as we’re talking, right now.

Or another, when Nico thought his promotion was in account of the crucial time only:

Hades: So, since you’re my Ambassador—

Nico: Wait, I’m not your Ambassador, dad. It’s not war anymore. You can drop it now.

Hades *looks at him dead in the eye*: You are my Ambassador, son.

Actually I kinda like this^^ because that’s a cement claim from Hades that Nico has gained his respect, and Nico can feel his father’s love for him transparently for the first time.

:)

happy Thursday the 20th