Melancholically Beautiful Things:

“I think that some people forget that friendships and relationships are not a service that someone provides, it’s a two way street where both give and get.”

— Ignoble Savage

Why do I cheat on my partner so easily in a dream?

Have you ever noticed in a dream you can cheat on your partner without having even a shadow of a doubt it’s the right decision? Well, it is definitely not your unfaithful nature; it is all about our brain’s workings, especially some parts of it which we are going to examine here.

The Frontal Cortex

The Frontal Cortex is located at the very front of the brain and is responsible for not only long-term planning, decision making, knowledge analysis and regulation of emotions, but also for social behavior control. This means that the frontal cortex prevents different types of inappropriate behavior, such as aggression, desires to steal, compulsivity and sexually assaultive behavior. As a result, damage to this lobe might cause, for example, a complete lack of interest in sex or, contrastively, more active sexual behavior. So why does this matter in terms of sleeping?

The Sleep Cycle

Our sleep cycle consists of two main stages: non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep and rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. During the latter stage, our body experiences temporal muscle paralysis and, more interestingly, — dreams (if you don’t have any brain damage that could lead to dream loss). The question about the purpose of dreams is still in dispute, but there is a clear answer at why they are ridiculously illogical sometimes:

during REM sleep, the frontal lobe is “turned-off” affecting our social behavior in a dream

There is also a range of research supporting this statement. For example, in one experiment, scientists activated the frontal lobe of the participants during REM sleep and noticed that such stimulation “induces self-reflective awareness in dreams”. In other words, you act more appropriately and logically as your frontal cortex is stimulated while sleeping:

Recent findings link fronto-temporal gamma electroencephalographic (EEG) activity to conscious awareness in dreams, but a causal relationship has not yet been established. We found that current stimulation in the lower gamma band during REM sleep influences ongoing brain activity and induces self-reflective awareness in dreams. Other stimulation frequencies were not effective, suggesting that higher order consciousness is indeed related to synchronous oscillations around 25 and 40 Hz.

Noticeable effects on dreams

As you can imagine, this temporal “shutdown” of the frontal cortex has a huge impact on our social behavior in a dream: from aggressive conversations to having sex with your partner’s best friend. Don’t feel guilty; it’s just your brain! What about moments when you act consciously in a dream and do things with full awareness of your actions?

Lucid Sleep

Lucid sleep is a sleep during which you are aware of dreaming while dreaming (apologies for the tautology). Recent studies suggest that this phenomenon occurs due to “increased brain activity over frontal regions during REM sleep”. However, other researchers analyze it through the states of consciousness theory. These two points of view are not interchangeable but complementary.

Now let’s look more closely at different states of consciousness:

- Primary states of consciousness — states in which dreams “are concerned with the immediate present, with only uncontrolled access to the past or the anticipated future”

- Secondary states of consciousness — states in which people are able to manipulate with “higher order cognitive functions such as self-reflective awareness, abstract thinking, volition and metacognition”. In the case of sleeping, this mode is “turned-on” after awaking

So, when both states coexist together, a person experiences a lucid dream. It is like being simultaneously asleep and awake! What is more, humans are most likely the only species able to experience such a thing.

Source: Anastasiia (Medium). Image: Katherine Streeter for NPR.

Which of these do you find interesting?

"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything." ~ George Carlin

All Negative Disharmonious Conditions

All negative disharmonious conditions are sublime siddhis, since negative conditions intensify the yogin’s experience, since one understands the true state of negative conditions without avoiding them, train in them, maintain that, and practise until coming to the conclusion of experience and realisation, just as a good horse is encouraged by a quirt.

— Mahasiddha Virupa

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Suturing Techniques

 by The Apprentice Doctor

7 Ways to be More Productive with Less Effort

1.Sort out your priorities. Make time to honestly reflect on your life, and to think about what is important to you. Where are you going? What do you want? What are the steps that will take you there?

2. Focus on the essential tasks. Next, think about your short term responsibilities. Ask yourself: “Out of all the tasks that I have to do, which will get me the greatest return for my time and effort?” Make a list of these types of tasks — they’re your most important things to do this week.

3. Eliminate what you can. Now look at your list. What on the list is not essential? Is there anything there that you can drop from your schedule, delegate to someone else, or put on a “waiting list”. Often when we review these non-essentials later, we find they weren’t necessary at all.

4. Do essential tasks first. Begin each day by doing the two most important tasks. Don’t wait until later in the day as they’ll get pushed aside to make time for other stuff that arises throughout the day. You’ll find that if you do these tasks right away, your productivity will really increase.

5. Eliminate distractions. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted by email notifications, IM, cell phones, social media and so on, then you’ll never be productive. Turn them and, if you can, disconnect yourself from the internet.

6. Keep it simple. Don’t waste time on applications that are meant to organise your schedule. Make a simple to-do list with a word document, or with some paper and a pen. Then get started on whatever work you had planned on doing.

7. Do one thing at a time. In most situations, multi-tasking slows you down. You can’t get things done with a million things demanding your attention. Focus on what’s in front of you, to the exclusion of all else. That way, you are likely to achieve more, in less time, and with less effort.

Nonverbal Communication Is Just As Important

Did you know that less than 10% of what you communicate is interpreted based on what you say? Over 40% of what is spoken is interpreted by your nonverbal body language!

Body Language List 📝

Eye 👁 contact

Looking down

Looking directly at the person

Looking away

Staring too intensely

Breaking eye contact

Eye roll

Blank stare

Blinking at a normal rate or too fast

Head & Face 🙂

Head nods

Frowning

Head tilted to the side

Head in hands

Rigid face

Smiling too much or too little

Bitting lips

Exagerated facial expressions

Cold expression

Body 👫 Posture

Relaxed posture

Rigid posture

Relaxed leg position

Body is facing towards the person who is communicating

Slouching

Standing up straight, shoulders back

Clenched fists

Arms crossed

Standing with hands placed on the hips

Physically too close or distant from an individual

Exagerated or relaxed hand movements

Body turned sideways

Tone of voice

Talking too fast or too slow

Speaking too low or too high

Monotone

Using too much: umm, uh, ah, etc.

Appropriate loudness

Shaky voice

Fluid speech

Distracting 🤔 Body Movements

Playing with hair

Chewing gum

Tapping with fingers or feet

Nail biting

Drinking

Rubbing hands together

Pulling on the ear

Licking or biting your lips

Fidgeting with clothes, pockets or jewelry

Appropriate 👍🏽 Body Language

Eye contact: look directly at the person who is speaking, but do not stare overly intense. Make sure you are blinking normally.

Body posture: face the person speaking to you and slightly lean forward. Maintain a relaxed posture and keep your hands loosely clasped or on your lap.

Head & face: occasionally nod your head and use appropriate facial responses, such as, relaxed eyebrows.

Tone of voice: use appropriate loudness, and moderate the rate of your speech. Make sure to be fluid when talking and use minimal slang.