Leaving Abuse: How It Feels, How To Do It, And How To Get Through It.

Leaving Abuse: How It Feels, How to Do It, and How to Get Through It.

How It Feels

Being in an abusive relationship is like trying to hold the ocean in a fishbowl, and feeling guilty when it cracks. Leaving is like drinking the water. It’s nasty and overwhelming. Part of you feels like you won’t be able to survive it, and when you do you still feel it in your stomach for days to come, but at least you’re not holding it anymore. Eventually, it will become diluted by everything else in your life, and all that will be left is the pain that comes from the knowledge of what you once tried to hold, and the after-effects of the scaring the salt water left on the lining of your stomach.

It’s messy, and it’s painful. It will be one of the ugliest things you’ll ever go through, but in the end, you’ll be proud of yourself for making it through. You may not even know until you decide to leave that it counts as abuse. It can be a lot like sitting blindfolded, as your house burns around you. There is a period, when you think the smoke is just bad cooking, but then you feel the fire.

How to Do It

From emotional to physical abuse, the emotions and recovery tend to ring the same, but if you live with your abuser, the first initial steps will be different.

If you live with your abuser, it’s best to make a plan to leave, including where you will be staying after (whether it be a friend’s house or shelter). If your abuser is physically violent, you may want to pack in secret. Take any personal belongs, and important documents such as school records, birth certificates, etc. One way to do this more discreetly would be to…

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How to Succeed at School

1. Get into the habit of being an early riser. We can all benefit from having a little bit of extra time in the morning. It reduces stress, helps to prevent you from forgetting things, and stops that crazy morning rush.

2. Deliberately decide to tune out distractions. Turn off the TV, social media, your phone, and hide away when you need to get work done.

3. Prepare for the next day the night before. Check off your mental to-do list and prepare for the next day before you go to bed. If possible, choose your clothes, find your books, pack your bag, and so on.

4. Prioritise being organized. For example, it often helps to use an agenda to stay on track with assignments and homework.

5. Go to bed at a reasonable time. A good night’s sleep is one of the best tips for learning, remembering and doing well at school.

6. Make reading one of your hobbies. Research indicates that reading is one of the best ways for developing language skills and building a strong vocabulary.

7. Eat well. A protein breakfast and balanced meals help sustain your energy throughout the day, and is essential for building a healthy brain.

8. Get fresh air and exercise. This helps with mental alertness, concentration, an efficient memory and a positive mood.

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drtanyasinghsworld

3 years ago