I’m Loving Season 2 So Far!

once again, our lives are in the hands of our beloved lord and savior Taiki Waititi

Thinking about the symbolism of the water in Moon Knight today. Marc's little brother died in the cave because he drowned - so he died in water. When Marc gets shot by Harrow he falls (and subsequently dies) in water. When Marc and Steven come back to life they are shown to climb out of that water as they are "reborn" and begin life as two halves of a whole instead of two people competing for one body. They are quite literally leaving Marc's trauma behind in the water.

Steven grant, my poor little meow meow

Remember his name!! 😭😆🦋🐝

Rain, books, museums, Greek mythology, tea, music, poetry, academic validation, handwritten letters, art, academic rivals, psychological phenomena, storms, turtlenecks, plants,quoting poets and authors, coffee, the smell of sea breeze, annotating , morally grey characters, candles, rings, philosophical questions

Take On Me {Steven Grant x F!Reader}

Summary: You end up on an accidental date with Steven, but it ends up being the best date you could’ve asked for. It leads into more, but things aren’t as simple as they appear. With adoration strong for the man, you take a chance on him. (Minor Marc interaction).

Warnings: None

A/N: okay my heart actually hurt writing this. please let me know if there is anything you don’t agree with regarding the depiction of DID. I didn’t go too into detail as it’s not something I am fully knowledgable on, however, I have read posts from those who do have DID and what isn’t correct wording.

We're talking away

I don't know what

I'm to say I'll say it anyway

Today's another day to find you

Shying away

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Wandering the streets in London so late at night probably wasn’t your best idea but staying in well lit and populated areas was though. It was 9:45pm, and you were craving something sweet, so decided to head towards your local shop to grab some snacks. It was starting to become a habit, a routine of some sort as you often found it difficult to get to sleep. Staying asleep was fine, but it was the process of getting to sleep that often troubled you, and so it often resulted in you going out for late walks through the bustling city. You had your headphones in as you listened intently to the song that was playing, almost fading out the world around you as you walked. However, once you finally snapped out of your little daze, you looked over to the other side of the street, preparing to cross, when you thought you could see a familiar face. Furrowing your brows and narrowing your eyes to try and focus in on the person, you realised it was in fact a familiar face.

Steven.

Your work colleague Steven.

You worked at the museum as admin, so had very little interaction with the man, but whenever you did he was always so sweet and somewhat nervous. He was currently sat outside a steak house, a box of chocolates on the table with a bunch of flowers on top of them. His own eyes seemed to be searching the area, as if he was looking for someone. A second later, a waiter approached him, as you watched Steven’s face fall, his head bowing as he fiddled with the napkins that were on the table. Not long later the waiter left, as Steven seemingly put his head in his hands. He looked distraught. There was no nice way to put it.

You bit your lip, wondering if you should go over, ask if he was ok. If he’d even realise it was you, that is, otherwise he may get weirded out at the fact someone had approached him and intruded on his obviously low moment. Fighting with yourself, it appeared your legs had made the decision for you, as before you knew it you were walking across the road towards the steak house.

You awkwardly shuffled over to his table, as he didn’t notice you approaching, his head still in his hands. You felt your heart ache at the man. He was obviously having a very bad day and it was clear he had supposed to be on a date, which you deducted hadn’t showed up.

“Steven?” You called to him lightly, causing him to pull his head of his hands, as he looked up at you in bewilderment. His eyes were glossy, as he stared at you. “It’s (Y/N).” You continued. “From work…” You further spoke as he instantly nodded.

“Y-yeah.” He cleared his throat, sitting back in his chair. “I know.” He nodded slightly once again. Of course he knew who you were. You were one of the nicest people who he worked with. And of course, very pretty. There was an awkward silence that settled between you both as you pursed your lips.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt-“ He cut you off, scoffing slightly.

“No, no, you’re fine.” He raised his brows. “I was just-“ He looked ahead at the empty chair in front of him. “Having an invisible date. She’s quite the catch.” He sighed as you gave him a small smile. If there was one thing about Steven, he would always try and find a way to make a joke.

“I can see that.” You hummed in agreement, going along with his antic. You leaned in, getting closer to him as you whispered: “God, she don’t half talk though? Has she been like this all evening?” You joked as he turned to face you once again, his eyes seemingly relaxing as he couldn’t help but let a small smile appear on his lips. You stood back up again. “Sorry love.” You turned to the empty chair. “But I think it’s time you left.” You paused. “I think Steven would like some actual company.” You then peered back over at him, your tone almost asking as he seemed to furrow his brows at your words before quickly nodding, gesturing to the seat opposite him.

“Y-yes.” He spluttered out. “God yes.” You laughed lightly at his words as you took the seat. “I’ve felt like a right knob sat here. People keep looking at me.” He sighed. “Probably feeling sorry for the idiot who got the days wrong.” Your brows raised at his words. So he was alone, because he muddled up the days…

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re an idiot.” You offered as he stared at you in the eye.

“No?” He asked, hope in his voice as you gave him a genuine smile.

“No.” You confirmed, seeing the tension start to ease in his body. “In fact, I still don’t know why Donna hasn’t made you a tour guide yet.” You told him. “Bet you know more than what the actual guides do.” He felt his heart swell at your words, feeling seen. You made him feel seen.

“Yeah, well… Can’t do that.” He leant forward slightly in his seat. “Who would sell the jelly sweets to the customers?” He inquired as you hummed in thought.

“That is true.” You smirked. “The giftshop would fall without you.” You said as he smiled bashfully. Suddenly, you were interrupted as a waiter approached, holding a plate.

“Your steak sir.” The waiter said, placing the plate down onto the table. “I didn’t realise you had company… Unfortunately the kitchen is closed now.” You smiled at the waiter.

“It’s fine. Thank you.” You told him as Steven looked down at the steak, saying a small thanks also to the waiter. As the waiter walked away, you looked back at Steven who was looking down at the meal in front of him.

“I don’t even eat meat.” He finally spoke, as you furrowed your brows. “I don’t even know why I planned a date at a steak house.” He shook his head, looking up at you, laughing lightly. “Don’t really remember doing it, to be honest.” He muttered.

“Well, I was on my way to the shop.” You told him. “I mean, I’m sure they have something more suitable in there for a non meat eater than a steak house.” You teased lightly.

“Yeah- But I can’t waste it can I?” He looked conflicted. “The poor cow died for this piece of steak.” He said almost sorrowfully and you held back the urge to go ‘aw’ at his face. He finally picked up the knife and fork as he began to cut into the meat. “We- We could share?” He offered, looking at you kindly, before stuttering over his next sentence. “I mean, if, er, if you wanted to that is?” You gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Alright then.” You picked up your own knife and fork that sat on your side of the table, as Steven moved the plate more towards you so you didn’t have to reach over awkwardly. “My first steak.” You told him as he looked at you surprised.

“You’ve never eaten steak before?” He inquired as you shook your head.

“Na, more of a fish and chips kinda girl.” You told him as he smirked.

“Yeah- me too.” He admitted. “Only without the fish. I know I’m vegan, but I also have a pet fish, and it just doesn’t seem right you know? Eating a fishy when you keep one as a pet.” You smiled at his words.

“What’s his name?” You asked, a piece of steak on your fork.

“Gus.” He told you.

“Gus the fish.” You nodded. “Good name.” You complimented as he also held up a piece of steak on his own fork.

“Ready to try your first ever steak?” He asked as you nodded. After a moment you both popped your pieces of steak into your mouths as you began to chew. You couldn’t tell is Steven was enjoying it or just persevering for the cows sake.

“Think I still prefer fish and chips.” You told him honestly as he hummed in agreement.

You hadn’t realised how quickly time had gone by, as you and Steven chatted and shared steak. In fact it was only when the waiter approached again to give the bill, that you looked around, seeing the place was empty. Steven got out his wallet as you went to reach for your purse from your pocket, but he quickly shook his head, holding out his hand.

“No, no, no.” He told you. “I’ll get it.” He gave you a soft look.

“You sure? I mean… I did eat half of your meal…” You furrowed your brows.

“Yeah, but you also sat with me and made my evening a lot better.” He told you sincerely. “Probably would’ve gone home and cried to Celine Dion if you hadn’t had appeared.” He half joked as you laughed lightly.

“At least it wouldn’t have been James Blunt.” You joked in return as it was his turn to let out a breathy laugh.

After paying the bill, you both stood on the sidewalk outside the restaurant with Steven holding the flowers and chocolates you’d observed earlier.

“This was nice.” You told him. “I’m sorry your date didn’t go to plan.” You told him sympathetically as he shrugged.

“I think it still went good.” He told you softly, before closing his eyes for a moment. “Not that this was a date.” He then realised how that sounded. “Not that I wouldn’t want to go on a date with you- I mean, you- you’re lovely and-“ You cut him off when you leant up towards him, surprising him as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. As you pulled back, he looked at you with wide eyes. “R-right.” He swallowed the lump in this throat. “What was that for?”

“Well, when someone likes someone they tend to show affection.” You explained rather simply, a playful tone in your voice. His mouth made a small ‘o’ shape as he registered your words. “I had a good time.” You told him. “The best accidental date I’ve ever had. Actually, it’s the only accidental date I’ve ever had.” He felt his face grow warm at your words.

“S-so, it was a date?” He asked, raising a brow.

“If you want it to be.” You told him softly. “It’s fine if you don’t-“

“N-no!” He almost exclaimed. “Of course I want it to be.” He nodded frantically as you laughed. “Why wouldn’t I? I’d be a mug if I didn’t want it to be.” He then looked down at the chocolates and flowers in his hands as he held them out to you. “It’s only right you have these… You know, considering it was a date.” You smiled as you took the items, thanking him. You both stood under a street lamp as the restaurants lights went out, only having the glow from above to light you both up.

“I should probably get home.” You said softly. “These chocolates aren’t going to eat themselves.” You waved them as he nodded.

“Oh, of course, yes.” He paused. “Do you want me to walk you or-“

“I only live down the road. I’ll be ok. Thank you though.” You told him, melting at his sweetness. “But I will see you tomorrow at work?” You raised a brow.

“Yes. I’ll be there. In my usual spot. At the giftshop.” He told you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You smiled up at him. “Goodnight Steven.” You took a step back.

“Y-yeah!” He nodded as you turned to walk home. “Night!” He called to you as you couldn’t help but have a smile on your face.

Who knew Steven from the giftshop would be the man after your own heart?

“Hiya-“

Steven walked back to his building, a small smile on his face.

“Date went horribly wrong, but then it went amazingly right!” He held the phone up to his ear. “Got the days muddled, missed my actual date by two days, but er- ended up bumping into a work colleague.” He paused. “And we had a wonderful time. I think she enjoyed it. I know I did. She’s lovely, you would love her.” He smiled as he reached his building door. “I’m seeing her tomorrow, at work I mean, so I’m sure we will sort something else out. But I better go now, let you get on!” He unlocked the door as he entered. “Love ya, laters gators.”

So needless to say

I'm odds and ends

But I'll be stumbling away

Slowly learning that life is okay

Say after me

It's no better to be safe than sorry

You and Steven had planned a more laid back date. As lovely as the restaurant date was, it wasn’t quite your style, or his really. You both were more homebodies than fine dining. So that’s how you ended up outside his flat door, holding a bottle of wine in your hand and your favourite dessert in the other. You and Steven hadn’t had an official second date per say, but would have lunch together at work when you were on the same shifts, or you would sneak off to the giftshop to visit Steven and just chat with him. You’d noticed he had been becoming more tired looking. In fact he almost always looked exhausted.

You knocked on the flats door, anxiously waiting for it to open. However, you heard a bit of commotion coming from behind the door. And that’s when it hit you… a smell… a smell of burning.

“Just a sec!” You heard Steven call as you could’ve sworn you heard a ‘bollocks’ also said. Eventually after a bit of noise and shuffling, the door opened, showing a slightly disheveled Steven, and a bit of smoke behind him seeping into the hallway.

“Hi.” He breathed out, stepping aside as he allowed you to enter.

“Hey…” You said softly as you entered, the smell of burnt food fully penetrating your nostrils. “Everything alright?” You asked, looking over to the kitchen to see it in disarray. Steven closed the door behind you as he rang his hands together anxiously.

“Er-“ He paused, traipsing past you as he walked back into the kitchen. “Well, I had planned a nice dinner, but it seems my cooking skills are a bit rusty.” He scratched his head, as you couldn’t help but smile at his sweet gesture.

“You did all this? For me?” You asked, your voice gentle as you stared at him, placing the items you’d brought with you down on the counter. He looked at you as if the answer was obvious. Which it was. Of course it was for you. If it was just him it would’ve most likely have been a microwave meal or a oven pizza. He wanted to impress you. ‘Woo you’ as people say.

“Y-yeah.” He nodded sheepishly. “But er, as I said… Bit rusty.” He then peered over at the burnt vegan dish he had cooked, black covering what did look delicious before going into the oven. You bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from laughing. Not in a mean way, just in a ‘of course it would happen to you’ way. You walked round to stand beside him as you looked down at the burnt food.

“How did you know I like my…” You trailed off, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

“Vegan lasagna.” He told you, his tone defeated.

“My vegan lasagna very well done?” You teased as he couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh. “Aw, you didn’t have to do all this.” You told him gently, looking up at him as he furrowed his brows.

“I wanted to.” He frowned. “L-look, I even got out my nice napkins.” He pointed to the dinner table as you smiled.

“The nice napkins?” You fake sounded shocked. “I didn’t know the queen was attending!” You joked as he instantly began to ease around you. He loved how you calmed him down, make his worries slowly dissipate. You never judged him, you never said a ill word to him, you just accepted him. And that’s why he wanted to treat you. He wanted to make you feel special. Like you were the only woman in the world. Little did he know all he needed to do was look at you for you to see that.

“We could get a takeaway, I suppose?” He offered as he turned, grabbing some leaflets from a nearby draw. “Italian, Chinese, Indian-“ He began rambling off the options, as you watched him. You didn’t know what came over you. Well you did. Him. But you found yourself edging closer to him as you placed your hands on his own that we’re holding the leaflets. He instantly looked at you, almost jumping from the contact, but before he could say anything, you had planted your lips on his own.

It was a sweet, innocent kiss filled with adoration. He didn’t move at first, seemingly in shock at your action. But soon enough, his hands had become slack and dropped the leaflets to the ground as he turned his hands to clasp your own. Just as he began to reciprocate, you pulled back, allowing your eyes to flutter open as he stood in the same position for a moment with his own closed a second longer than yours. His cheeks were warm as he felt his heart racing. You looked at him with such soft eyes, it made his knees almost go weak. He felt like the luckiest man alive.

“M-my leaflets.” He stuttered out, mentally face palming at his words as you giggled at his words. “Sorry, that wasn’t very romantic, was it?” He wrinkled his nose.

“Don’t ever change, Steven Grant.” You replied, shaking your head at his antics.

Oh, the things that you say, yeah

Is it life or

Just to play my worries away?

You're all the things I've got to remember

You're shying away

I'll be coming for you anyway

You were worried. Maybe you shouldn’t be. He is a grown adult after all. But you were. Steven hadn’t shown up to work 2 days in a row, or returned any of your texts or calls. It was unlike him. He would often text you every morning, something silly or even a random fact he had found out. But you’d gotten none of that.

“Hey, Donna-“ You approached your boss as she turned to you, chewing gum as always. “Have you heard from Steven?” You asked as she put her hand on her hip.

“No, I ain’t.” She almost hissed out. “He’s left me with no cover for the giftshop, so one of our guides has had to step in.” She complained as you felt deflated that he hadn’t been in contact even to call in sick. “Anyways, he’s your boyfriend ain’t he? Thought you’d know where he is.”

“Oh, we’re not-“ You shook your head. “I mean, we are but we’re not official… yet.” You spluttered out as she rolled her eyes.

“Men.” She commented. “He’s lucky he’s got this far with ya. And he still ain’t made it official.” She shook her head as she walked away, leaving you with your worry.

Once you got off your shift, you decided you would go to Steven’s flat. You had to check. For your own sanity, but more importantly to make sure he was ok. As you got to his flat door, you noticed it was open a crack as you furrowed your brows. You gently pushed the door, letting it swing open as you peered into the dimly lit room.

“Steven?” You called softly, not hearing any sound as you stepped inside. “It’s (Y/N)… I just wanted to check in…” You continued, as your eyes scanned the flat, not seeing anyone. You walked further in, your eyes noticing something that wasn’t there the last time you had been in his home. Around his bed was sand, and on the bed was what appeared to be a single restraint, with tape on the bedside table. You looked at it, confused. What on Earth was this all for?

You heard a noise behind you, as you jumped, spinning round to see the man you had been so worried about, stood behind you a few feet away.

“Steven!” You let out a relieved breath. “Thank god you’re alright, I was worried.” You told him softly. “Are you ok? What’s happened?” You asked, but the man in front of you didn’t react in the usual manner you had become accustomed to. In fact, his brows sat lower on his face, making his eyes seem more hard and cold in appearance. “Steven?” You tried again as he seemed tense, his jaw tight.

“I’m not Steven.”

You froze at his voice. No longer was it unsure, sweet or even British for that matter. It was gruff, detached and American in accent. You blinked rapidly, immediately feeling like you were in a room with a stranger.

“What do you mean? You aren’t Steven?” You asked, voice wavering slightly.

“My name’s Marc.” He said as he took a step towards you, as you subconsciously took a small step backwards, which he noticed, causing him to hold his hands up slowly, trying to show you he meant no harm. “I’m sorry. Sorry.” He tilted his head slightly. “I don’t want to scare you. He doesn’t want me to scare you.”

“He?” You raised a brow. “Who?” As you slowly began to understand who he meant. “S-Steven? You mean Steven?” He nodded once, as his gaze slowly turned to look at a mirror that hung on a nearby wall. You couldn’t see what he saw, but in the reflection was Steven looking back at him, looking broken, and worried. Worried about what Marc might do. What he might say.

Let me back. Please. Let me talk to her.

“I’m sorry.” You breathed out. “But I don’t understand.” You felt tears welling up in your eyes. “I-I don’t know what’s happening.”

Look at her. Just let me talk to her.

You saw Marc close his eyes, looking down at the ground as you saw his hand tighten into a fist. It was like he was fighting with himself. Or with someone else.

I promise, you can have control again after, just please- She’s all I’ve got.

Marc sighed, before his head rolled back, his eyes closing as you watched closely. Suddenly the tense posture of the man before you loosened, as he looked back forwards at you.

Steven.

His eyes held that familiar warmth you knew, whilst his features relaxed, and his shoulders were slumped a little so he wasn’t so big looking. He looked at you with fear in his eyes. Fear you were going to leave. Fear you would never want to see him again. Fear he’d ruined it with you.

“(Y/N)…” He breathed out, his British accent returned. You stood in confusion, and a little bit of fear, but mostly concern for the man you had strong feelings for. “I-I can explain- Please.” He almost begged, as he stepped towards you, but more uncertain than previously. You bit your lip, nodding silently.

You ended up sitting side by side on his bed. He’d told you everything. You could feel his growing anxiety the more he explained. You could see the glassy look in his eyes as he held back the tears that threatened to fall. Your heart ached for him. Every word he said he believed. Which made you believe him. He even showed you the bag, with the passport, the passport that clearly stated ‘Marc Spector’. You felt sick. Not because of the situation, but because of the turmoil Steven was clearly dealing with.

“I don’t want to be him.” He sniffled. “I don’t want that life. I-I just want to be me.” He told you softly, not looking at you in fear of a look of rejection from you. But that was far from the look you were giving him. “Why can’t I just be me?” He whispered out as you finally broke, allowing your arms to wrap around the man’s body, much to his utter surprise. You placed your hand on the back of his head as you soothingly stroked it. You both sat in silence for a few minutes, as you stayed in that position.

“I believe you.” You breathed out and you swore you felt him grip you a little tighter. “I think you need to speak to someone.” You said softly, not wanting to push him or cross a line. “People who can help. We can get through this.” He quickly pulled away, looking at you in the eye as he felt his heart stop.

“We?” He said in a small voice.

“Yes, we.” You confirmed for him, taking his hand in your own. “Steven, I’m not going anywhere. We’ve all got our demons.” You gave him a soft reassuring smile. “And whatever it is, whatever is going on, we can get through it. I’m always here. Always.”

He looked at you like you were his whole world. Like he couldn’t believe you were real. Were you? He couldn’t trust his own mind now a days. He found himself being drawn closer to you, as he slowly began to close the gap between you both, placing a gentle, longing kiss on your lips as you instantly responded. After a few seconds, he pulled away, looking at you deeply.

Steven. We need to go.

You watched as he closed his eyes, shaking his head.

Steven.

“I know!” Steven suddenly exclaimed as he waved his hand in frustration. “I know.” He said softer as you understood he wasn’t talking to you. “I’m sorry.” He breathed out. “I-I’ve got to go.” You nodded sadly. “But i‘ll be back. I promise you, I will be back and I-I will make up for all of this. And once this is all sorted, it can just be you and me.”

“I’d like that.” You tearily smiled at him. “But I’m here. For both of you.” You reached a hand out to caress his face, as he furrowed his brows at your words. “So, Marc… if you’re listening, if you need me. You let me know. Please, just… Call me. Tell me you’re ok.”

Okay.

A simple reply, but Steven knew that was all Marc could give. Steven nodded to you, as he slowly removed your hand from his face, as much as he didn’t want to. He had to.

“I should probably go.” You sniffled, wiping your cheeks, not even realising tears had fallen. “Steven, be careful.” You said as you stood, him following suit. “And when you get back, I want to try that vegan lasagna. Preferably not burnt.” You joked as he let out a breathy laugh.

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled as you began to walk away, standing in the doorway to his flat as he stared at you longingly.

“I’ll see you soon.” You said softly, your heart aching at your own words. He nodded as he gave you a small wave as you left, breathing out:

“Laters, gators…”

Take on me

Take me on

I'll be gone

In a day or two

fuck me up mr. doctor wizard sir

Its even a palindrome when you write it like 22022022

Tomorrow is the legendary twosday - 220222

something about marc going to every length to protect steven from the knowledge of his role as moon knight, including resetting all of the sleepwalking alarms, buying a new goldfish, and fronting long enough to convince him the incident in the alps was a dream, all presumably to offer them a chance at a normal life. then, when the knowledge can no longer be avoided, patiently calming steven down enough to take care of the monster in the museum… it just made me very emotional idk about y’all

Do Not Go Far From Me

Loki x FemReader

Angst, fluff, two idiots pining, implied spice.

A/N: The reader decides to quit the Avengers and move into their own apartment. Loki finds out on a returning trip to Earth, and is not happy.

Maybe a multi-part piece?

And yes I got the idea from a critical role quote. 🥸

Enjoy 🤘🏼

It was getting late, and yet the bustling sounds of New York City still crept its way into your new studio apartment. You thought you had adjusted to the city life, but as you laid there in your bed— eyes staring blankly at the rotating fan, unable to sleep— you realized that that was indeed not true. The compound had definitely been quieter— whenever it wasn’t under attack, but it was hard to call that place home, even after years of service.

There was a knock at the door. You snapped up in bed, abandoning any hope for sleep as you listened for another knock. Sometimes pizza delivery drivers would mistake your apartment for the floor right above yours, more often than you’d care to admit. Usually, after the first attempt they realized their mistake and be on their way.

Maybe I should make a sign, you thought.

You were about to lay back down when there was another quick succession of raps against the door. Your curiosity was now peaked, and you quickly threw on a pair of pajama bottoms before looking through the peep hole. Your heart lurched in your chest at the sight of him. You considered not opening the door, but he could feel your presence already.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” Loki’s cool voice said from behind the door.

You gave an irritated sigh and unlocked your door, swinging it wide open. Loki stood there, with an amused smirk on his face. He was wearing his usual Midgard attire, an all black suit, prim and proper as always, making you feel silly in your oversized sleep shirt and pj bottoms. He held something in his arm and you arched your brows at him.

“What is that?”

Loki hesitated a moment before handing you a small potted cactus plant. “I’ve been told it’s a warm house gift. Something to give to someone when they have recently changed their living quarters.”

You took the cactus, careful to not prick your fingers with the sharp spines. You gave him a small smile. “It’s a house warming gift, you big doof.”

Loki just shrugged. “I don’t see how this would warm your house, unless you set the thing on fire—“

“How did you find me?” You interjected. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have minded his banter, but things between you weren’t normal anymore. You hadn’t seen Loki in months, and you certainly never told him of your plans on quitting the team. You never liked goodbyes, and so you let Loki be one of the few people you saved yourself from that kind of heartbreak.

Loki rocked on the back of his heels, making an impatient noise as he rolled his eyes. “You’re not a very hard person to find, y/n. It seems one of Earth’s mightiest heroes cannot simply just disappear, even when they move to the slums of —”

You began to shut the door, huffing a breath as you did, but his hand shot out and caught the door. The two of you fought for dominance with the door. You conceited only because you feared the poor door would shatter into splinters, then you would never get your deposit back.

“Okay, okay.” He finally surrendered, sensing your irritation. “Natasha told me where to find you.”

“Why?” You challenged. You put a hand on your hip, not willing to move from the door until he answered. His eyes raked over you once, making you feel oddly exposed. Still, you stood your ground.

“Oh for Odin’s sake,” he exasperated. Loki used his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. “I just— wanted to talk to you.”

You eyed him skeptically, not sure if you should believe him. You had wondered when the Avengers would try to drag you back into the chaotic mess that was hero work. You figured they’d at least send Roger’s star spangled ass to come recruit you back on the team, not the God of Mischief. Loki didn’t break eye contact with you, meeting your challenging eyes with icy blue defiance. You wanted to smirk. It was fun watching him squirm.

“Fine,” you shrugged. You threw the door open again, this time turning your back on Loki as you went back inside. You heard him follow you in, and he even took the time to shut and lock the door behind him. You placed the small cactus on your coffee table and sat on your single futon couch. Your apartment was still pretty bare since moving in.

Loki scanned the room. You felt yourself stiffen as he gazed over your new home. You hadn’t had the time to tidy for entertaining guests. Your bed was a mess of sheets from your fitful nights, not to mention the unpacked boxes that littered your space. You expected Loki to have a sly remark in place, but instead he leaned up against the wall by the front door and looked at you.

“I was gone for a few months,” Loki began, his voice oddly stern, “and when I return, I find your room empty. I thought perhaps something horrible had happened—“ he cleared his throat quickly. “But instead I was informed that you “quit” as Natasha had put it.”

“Didn’t realized you cared so much, Mr. Mischief,” you muttered. Loki hated when you called him that, and even now you saw his chiseled jaw clench in frustration. He pushed himself off of the wall and came dangerously close to you, towering over you on your couch. You glared daggers at him, unwavering as he sat on your coffee table making sure to be right in front of you. Part of you wished he had sat on the cactus.

“I did not come here in a joking mood,” he hissed. “I want to know why you left. I want to know what idiotic idea went through your head to make you think that choosing this-“ he motioned to your apartment with his hand, “was the better option?”

His stern voice sent chills down your spine. His eyes searched yours wildly, waiting for you to answer him. Part of you wanted to curse at him for talking to you like that. The two of you had gotten into screaming matches before, but tonight you couldn’t summon the energy to meet his demanding presence. You leaned back into your couch, crossing your arms and sighing.

“I left because— I couldn’t do it anymore.”

You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your arms and head. You fought back the tears that were gathering in your eyes, digging your nails into your elbows to make them dissipate. You felt Loki’s eyes on you but you refused to look at him. One soft look from him and you knew you would fall apart.

“I hated being a weapon. A soldier— being called in to fight battle after battle, risking everything to save a world that has never given a damn about me.” Your voice shook as you spoke. You weren’t this honest with the rest of the team. You had told them you missed living a simple life, missed the freedom that came with civilian life. But it wasn’t completely honest. “I hated the self righteous indignation. The hypocrisy— the secrecy and lies. Avenger. I hated who I was under that label.”

“I grew bitter.” You whispered. “I feared that if I stayed at the compound— if I stayed an Avenger, that I would end up becoming something I would regret.” It had been a fight, a long tiresome fight with Steve and Tony over your departure. Steve had said you had a duty to the world, that without you the avengers would not be the same. Tony, on the other hand, was adamant that your powers were an asset to the team, and he feared what you would do with them on your own. At least he was honest.

“Was I wrong?” You finally looked up at him. His expression was unbelievably soft. He gave you a small grin as he looked down at his interlaced hands.

“I don’t believe so,” he said softly. “Bitterness is a dangerous bedfellow, y/n, I cannot fault you for your choice to leave.”

“I feel like there’s a but coming,” you mused. Loki’s smile wavered, his expression turning melancholy as he met your gaze. “I suppose— I just wish—“ he stumbled over his words. It was unlike him to be so unsure of himself.

He sighed and extended his hand, cautiously taking your hand in his. Your body stiffened at the touch, his cool skin sent a strange heat through your body. His thumb traced over your fingers. “Was all of it unpleasant?” He asked.

Your breath hitched in your chest. “No.” You whispered immediately. You leaned forward, not wanting to shy away from this moment. You took both of his hands in yours, sliding your hands up until you were holding his wrists.

“For every reason i told myself to leave, it wasn’t nearly as strong as the one thing that reminded me of why I didn’t want to leave.” The words felt right as you said them. You held Loki in your hands, using his presence to give you the strength to continue. “Whenever you were there, in those rare moments that you and Thor graced our presence, the compound felt a little lighter. I actually enjoyed when you would come and cause a little chaos in my life,” you gave a small laugh. Loki gave a light chuckle, his blue eyes sparkled a bit as he looked at you.

Whenever Loki made a return visit to Earth, he would always drag you away from your duties to have fun. Your fondest memories came from your midnight excursions with Loki, bar hopping, drunken karaoke nights, and a few secret nights under the stars of Manhattan. He made your time there bearable, but it always came to an end.

“But you weren’t always there,” you murmured. You slowly pulled your hands away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I found myself waiting around, wondering when you would return to pull me out of my thoughts. Then after a while, I decided I needed to pull myself out. I needed something— anything to feel like myself again.”

“Y/n…” Loki began. His voice was thick and deep. Your name sounded delicious on his mouth. You knew you would fall apart. He was the only person who could make you shatter with his words. You couldn’t back down now. You straightened your shoulders, lifting your chin in false pride.

“It’s fine Loki. It’s not your responsibility— I’m not your responsibility. We don’t owe each other anything and it was stupid of me to think— Anyway… I know it isn’t much, but this place is mine, and mine alone. It will hold me long enough for me to figure out what comes next. Believe me, I don’t plan on staying in New York City for long—there are too many memories that haunt me here.”

“And so you plan on disappearing again?” His words turned sour. “Where will you run to next, I wonder? Some dump worse off than this squabble?” You shot up from your seat, Loki followed your motion. The two of you were inches apart, his face looking down in you as you jabbed a finger into his chest.

“Where I go is none of your concern!” You growled. “Isn’t it?” He countered, moving closer. You could feel the heat of his breath hit your face, the smell of him was intoxicating. “No it isn’t,” you hissed. “You have your freedom. You come and go whenever and wherever you please. I think I deserve the chance to do the same.”

He took a step forward, causing you to back into the edge of your couch, threatening to trip you up. You glared at the god, waiting for him to say something, anything, but instead his chest just rose and fell, as if he was keeping himself from losing control.

“I think you should leave.” You said bitterly. Whatever it was he wanted to say, he could say as he walked out of the door. “Go back to the compound, to Asgard, I don’t give a shit. Just leave my apartment.”

You side stepped him, not waiting for him to respond as you reached your hand out to open the door. It was as if an invisible hand pulled the back of your shirt, dragging you backwards in a quick, fluid motion. The force spun you around and before you could curse at him, Loki’s hands were gripping your shoulders.

“Do you think I enjoyed leaving you?” He hissed between his teeth. “As if I could want to be anywhere where you are not. Gods! Your such an arrogant thing.”

You tried to pull away from him but his hands held firm on your shoulders.

“Then why did you?” You shouted at him. “Why did you leave me there? Alone? You knew how unhappy i was there and yet still, you left!”

His eyes bore into you with alarming intensity. His expression shifted from anger to that of deep sorrow. He leaned in closer, dropping his sultry voice to a whisper.

“I did leave. Like a coward— I left. It was easier for me to believe that you would be better off here—safer here, than with me. I thought I could survive that, despite what I feel for you… But when I arrived here — when I could not find you—“

He took a ragged breath. Seeing him so undone make your chest ache.

“Go wherever you want. Hide in the deepest darkest parts of the galaxy if that will bring you peace, but do not—you cannot keep me in the dark.” His voice shook as he spoke. You stilled in his embrace, watching as his eyes darkened as they raked over your face. “Please— wherever you go— do not go far from me. I could not bare it—not knowing where you are, or how you are. At least at the compound I knew you were never alone.”

Tears threatened to spill over. His hands softened on your shoulders, the tips of his fingertips grazed the base of your neck and you let out a ragged breath. He had teased you in the past, playing flirty games, testing his boundaries with you in front of the others, but this was different. There was no amusement in his eyes, and in the solitude of your apartment, everything felt too real.

“Don’t push me away, y/n,” he murmured. “I don’t care if you’re an Avenger, or where you live, or who you want to be. I just want—” he choked on his words. It was as if he was trying to say something, but his hands trembled on your body. He cursed himself, eyeing you almost painfully, as if he was afraid. The idea of him being so— human over you, gave you an odd sense of power. You would not push him away.

You let your hand trail up his arm, slowly using your fingertips to trace up until it rested in the collar of his suit. “Then stay,” you challenged. “Stay with me, even if it’s just for tonight. Just— don’t let me be alone. Don’t leave me again.”

Loki’s eyes seemed to darken, and a soft grin spread across his face. His hand trailed up your neck, cupping the back of your head with shattering tenderness. It was all you needed.

You pulled his collar towards you, colliding with him forcefully as your lips met his. He groaned with delight at the motion, gripping your hair as he kissed you. You continued to push him, gripping his shirt as you guided him to the couch. You broke away from the kiss, long enough to give him a shove, knocking him down onto it.

Loki looked up at you, his lips glistening as he smiled up at you. He unbuttoned the coat to his black suit, giving him easier access to move around. You stood above him, watching him as he motioned with his finger for you to come closer. You tilted your head playfully, slowly inching your way closer to him.

It was strangely fun to tease him. To keep your distance from him until you decided. His eyes bore into you, scanning your body as if it was the only thing in the universe.

“I need you closer,” he said in a thick voice. “Now.”

You laughed a little, waiting another moment before moving. Taunting him. You stepped closer, until your legs met his. You stood over him and raised your eyebrows expectantly. He seemed to understand immediately, a wicked grin flashed across his face.

“Please, y/n.”

You slid yourself over his lap, placing your knees on either sides of his hips as you kissed him. His hands flattened against your back, his nails digging in softly on your shirt. You used one hand to pull his chin down slightly, giving you more access to slide your tongue further into his mouth. You reveled in the fight for dominance inside both of your mouths. You bit at his bottom lip, making him curse under his breath while his hands slid upwards to cup your head ahead.

You broke apart from the kiss, staying inches from his face as you both caught your breath. You snatched his hands as they ascended and shoved them in the opposite direction. “I don’t think so,” you purred. You placed Loki’s hands on your lower waist, near the edge of your hips. His hands seemed to fit like a glove as he gripped you and held you closer to him. Loki looked at you dreamily, his eyes glazed over with a dark wanting desire.

You leaned forward, placing your hand along Loki’s throat, exposing his bare skin as you placed your lips by his ear. “My house, my rules,” you growled softly. You felt Loki chuckle underneath your hand. The vibrations from the rest of his body underneath you sent another wave of heat rolling through your insides.

“Then by all means darling,” he mused, “teach me how to play.”