“The Only Thing That Makes Life Possible Is Permanent, Intolerable Uncertainty: Not Knowing What Comes

Hemingway × Aresti ꩜ Straps against darkness (feat. @chrstnmny)

Coiffure Avant-Garde: A Symphony of Strands by 999999999sx

Attila Ataner

Leptis Magna, Libya (1986)

losing my shit over this

Antigone Kourakou

Playing The Downward Spiral cd on my Hello Kitty boombox is the only thing keeping me from ending it all

running on a different operating system

to brush most people's probing aside

is effortless, deflecting blows so they never see you - I've had to catch myself noticing people in weak moments. they make you feel like some unfathomable pillar

created by something ancient or alien, or maybe just yourself.

I despise the predatory element,

a weakness seen

that could blend in better -

now it’s something kind,

learning what makes people tick. I wonder if other people like me exist

building fortresses of knowledge

no one suspects we possess -

I catch myself studying people,

watching from outside the circle

of normal human interaction.

it’s not malicious,

just different -

a compulsion maybe, or just curiosity distilled into methodical observation.

it started as survival,

now I notice the pause before a practiced lie,

the subtle shift in posture when someone feels threatened -

all these blaring, bright neon signs I used to try to mimic.

sometimes I wonder if they can tell

I’m building libraries of their expressions,

cataloging their reactions

and how they signal belonging - it’s exhausting work.

sometimes I catch someone watching me,

an eye-meet, wonder-if they’re like me moment, or if they just sense something off

and wrong -

we were constellations once,

maybe now there’s just a slight delay

in recognition,

while I wonder if they’re like me

collecting a moment for too long.

Total solar eclipse, August 30th 1905

Via:Publications of the U.S. Naval Observatory Second Series, vol. 10

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, from a letter featured in The Life & Letters of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

January so bad only nine inch nails announcing a show in my country could save it