Chuckin Chicken

Thoughts on Serial Experiments Lain

The show exists for me in a very nostalgic place. It makes me think about what the meaning of Nostalgia is to begin with. When I looked up the definition on Merrium Webster it was something to the effect of melancoly and overly sentimental longing for the past. More bizzare the American Heritage Foundation said it may be fatal in one of their definitons. Apparently it used to be an actual diagnosis. It's interesting to me to distinguish what i think a word means, and then learn what it really means through its history. Lain longs for a home in her humanity, though it never really existed at all. What was once an illusive almost supernatural world full of meaning lost its meaning as she drove herself deeper and deeper into the wired. Her connection to home grew more and more painful as reality dissappeared and she still hung onto what reality used to mean. It's a lot like how we today become dissallusioned with life as we spend all day online, constantly connected to dozens of platforms and screens of different kinds. The technology might look more obviously bizzare and disturbing in Lain with the tubes and wires and buzzing but our own world I think provokes the same emotion if you ground yourself to reality. The problem is i think searching for something that was never real. I think for a moment Lain let those walls down with that final hug.

I love these lil guys

i'm gonna be honest i don't get why they say everypony instead of everybody in mlp. it's not like the word everybody is human-specific. the ponies have bodies. the word everypony, however, is pony-specific in a world where ponies are not the only people in their society, which means it would be more accurate and inclusive to use everybody instead of everypony. it all makes no sense to me

Each of my hundred of failed attempts to write a story is actually a lesson in motivation, a lesson in mistakes. My art grows with me. And the reason i have so much growing to do is because of all the places I wanna go. I have a lifetime to figure this out.

Black Tape

I saw her in my favorite film, locked away in locks of black tape, tied and spun unspun, she comes undone and back again.

She is a VHS tape, or the film on that tape, or perhaps the reel on the wheel, perhaps her heart the mysterious motor as equally unknown to me as the human heart.

Maybe she's her eye on the screen, magnetic gaze on a magnetic image, the magnitute of all those pixels buzzes like an earthquake far away...

I seek her in my memory but my memorys go by too fast, im rewinding the tape. I wear her memory as she wears me with her look, undressing whatever it is that makes me me so that she can be me.

I must see her in my dreams but i forget. I wake up on a pile of black tape, sometimes wishing she could tie me up in it. Tie me in knots and spin her web till im but a mummy, ready to sleep forever and never forget my dreams again...

All thats left of our stars

Our memories from far away

A shrinking light

Is it dying?

Or just disappearing?

The tape tapers off into silence

Before everything grinds to a halt

Guts regurjitated out its mouth

A cry silenced by aching pain

And the void of space

Its all black tape...

A trans woman looks at herself in the mirror

Iris?

Floating down river as my gaze glimmers over glass.

Weather me woman piercing lights

Cacoon a cascading layer of man, yet each layer ever so thin as paper skin

Blue eyes beautey basking in her light

Breathless at the sight of blood

Soaked in synergy inside her eyes eye

Where her male gaze fades away

Dissappearing into the mirror until a stranger meets her gaze

Its a movie in front of her

Moving picturesque

The beautiful is opaque

Evil is clear and transluscent

The Brother

Visious claws rendered onto viscous flesh. Tender as a hot touch, tendons taughts and shrivel in steam, stew like noodles in the demons broth

I sink into a sickened sleep, dreaming so hard from the pain...

Losing my body and soul my mind melds whats left together to these words

The bones in the broth

A demon simply called The Brother. It doesn't have siblings or any family, and it's ambiguous whether that creature itself is even male at all. It just keeps turning everything and everyone into broth.

Some art I did for a dnd campaign. A regular deer was transformed into a centaur esc anthro creature as it accidently came in and out of the faewilds. I liked the idea of anthro centaurs so his bottom half is deer and his top half is basically an anthro deer. His antlers play music in the wind.

What is love?

Shut the fuck up

You silly poet

I do not need to yearn for love

Love is nothing

Instead I lie with my lover

I fart

He tells me its okay

Then he farts

Life is at peace

Life is perfect