Th Blnc Ws Dstrd Lng G. Thr R N Vwls Nmr. Nw Trnslt Ths

Th blnc ws dstrd lng g. Thr r n vwls nmr. Nw trnslt ths

"Miluji tě<3"

@dr-houses-left-buttcheek

Subject: Regarding Your Translation Requests 🦑📜

Dear Nico,

I regret to inform you that I can no longer serve as your translator, interpreter, or spiritual linguist.

You see, last Tuesday at precisely 3:47 AM, I was visited in a dream by a sentient dictionary named Merriam-Webscream. She informed me, in fluent Morse code and interpretive dance, that continuing to translate for you would disrupt the ancient balance between vowels and consonants. Apparently, the fate of the English language now rests on me speaking only in riddles and sound effects until the next lunar eclipse.

Additionally, my pet iguana (who is actually a licensed psychic) foresaw that if I translated one more sentence for you, the moon would fall out of orbit, and all toast would be permanently burned on one side. I can't let that happen. I love toast. The crust symmetry must be preserved.

So, effective immediately, I shall be communicating only through interpretive eyebrow raises and the occasional honk. 🫨🔊

Please respect my journey.

In confused commitment to nonsense, Ash Licensed Professional in Absolutely Nothing Founder of the “No Translate, Only Chaos” movement™