douchebag-e

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Another word about my desire for chastity

   Okay, so in my last post (and in the title of my blog) I said that I am hoping that my girlfriend will lock me in chastity and become my keyholder.   That is not to say that I WANT my dick locked away and all rights and privileges to it taken away from me.   That’s also not to say that I only WANT to be able to orgasm if she agrees to it and allows it.   It is to say, however, that I think that her control over that part of me will make me the man I want, and need, to be, for her.   I love this woman more than life itself, and I would do anything for her.   I never want to be the cause of her hurt or disappointment.   I only want to be a positive force in her life, her rock, her comfort, her joy.   I can’t do that if I continue to be a brain dead douchebag.   That is why I want to be in chastity, for her, to be better for her.   She is my everything and does all she can to make me happy and to make sure I feel special, attractive, loved, important, wanted, and needed.   I want, more than anything else, to be all those things to her, and she deserves me to be them for her.   That is why I want my dick locked away with her holding the key, so I don’t continue to be the brain dead douchebag that’s been anything but those things for her.  

   I just hope that it’s not too late for us.

Hello

Hello Tumblr!

   As I said in my description, this blog is going to be my confession and my journal.   About me; you can call me “E”.   I’m a 41 year old man who has been a dumbass.   I’m lucky enough to be dating an amazing and beautiful 24 year old lady, you can call her “B”, who is one of the best people I’ve ever met.   She’s beautiful, sexy, smart, intelligent, wise beyond her years, loving, caring, compassionate, funny, and in general just a wonderful person.   I truly thank God every day for her being in my life!

   Here’s the problem; I’ve been a dumbass.   I’ve taken her for granted and made her to feel unattractive, not needed or wanted, and not very loved or appreciated.   As such, our relationship is on very rocky ground.   I’m honestly afraid that we may not survive the damage that I’ve done.   So, here’s to hoping that this isn’t a short-lived blog!

   Since I was lucky enough to have God open my eyes, just a short time ago, to the damage that I’ve done and hurt that I’ve caused her I’ve been praying, thinking, and researching everything I can on the subjects of why relationships fail, what I did wrong (or wasn’t doing that she needs and deserves me to be doing), and how to fix it all.   Strangely enough, in almost every search I did on the internet (yes, people, I used Google to try to help me figure this out), the subject of male chastity came up (no sick joke intended).   I, at first, dismissed it as just some stupid kink or some seldom mentioned aspect of BDSM.   However, the more I kept seeing it in the search results, I began to get curious.   How could something that a lot of people use to spice up their sex lives, or as a fun game to play sometimes, possibly help me to better be the man I need, and want very much, to be for my girlfriend? 

   Believe it, or not, there are actually a lot of really good fact, and science, based articles on the subject on the internet.      So, I decided to do some reading.   This lead to some more reading, and even more reading.   Then it led to A LOT of thought, followed by even more prayer.  These articles discuss, in scientific terms, why male chastity such an effective aid in helping men to become the attentive, considerate, loving significant other’s that many of us so crave to be.   The articles present both the psychological and physiological reasons why men often times fail at being the man that they want to be, and that their significant other needs and deserves for them to be.   In short, it amounts to the fact that men have entirely too much control over their penis and their ability to have an orgasm.   Men are extremely sexually motivated and driven, and will do most anything to have that need met and/or satisfied.   The premise behind male chastity as a relationship aid is to give that control to the man’s partner, making the partner the focus of the man’s attention and efforts (just as it should be in a relationship).   Basically, men get lazy.   We get what we want and then we just seem lose interest and want to be left alone.   That doesn’t mean that we don’t love our partner, it doesn’t mean that we don’t find them attractive anymore, and it doesn’t mean that we don’t care if we neglect or hurt them.   It just means that basically a man’s brain short circuits after he has an orgasm.   While it is rebooting, so to speak, is when his partner will see the apparent loss of interest and lack of concern for their feelings, wants, needs, and concerns.   It’s during this “refractory period” that the damage is usually done in a relationship.   Now, you add to that the fact that most every man masturbates and you have a recipe for disaster in a relationship.   Most men keep themselves pretty much brain dead between the sex they’re having with their partner and the frequency of their masturbation.   This causes the relationship, and their partner, to suffer.  

   I’ll admit that while I’m at work I’ll find myself thinking about my girlfriend and getting horny.   Since she’s not there I’ll go to the bathroom and masturbate.   Then, when I get home to her, I’m brain dead and not there to love and support her they way that she needs me to.   I can honestly say, after praying about it and thinking about it, I believe that this is the cause of the majority of the problems in my relationship with B.   I’ve been keeping myself a brain dead douchebag.

   How does giving control of your penis and your orgasms to your partner help you fix being a brain dead douchebag?   Excellent question, I’m glad you asked!   By giving control of that most important part of your body, and that most important event, to your partner a man makes their partner the focus of their life in every way.   Knowing that your partner has control of your favorite piece of your anatomy, and your ability to use it to gain the ultimate pleasure for yourself, is a great motivator.   You will become more intently focused on your partner’s needs, wants, desires, and happiness because you know that if you continue to be a douchebag to them you’re not going to get to have an orgasm for a very long time.   You become more attentive to their needs and wants, you hold your tongue and think carefully about how you speak to them instead of going off at the mouth like some sailor swearing at a half-starved stray dog, you pay attention to them instead of the TV, computer, video game, or whatever other distractors you’ve been giving their attention to.   You start doing things to please them, instead of just doing them with a terrible attitude because you’re tired of hearing them gripe and complain about it.   You stop taking for granted all the nice things they do for you and the time that you’re lucky enough to get to spend with them.   You appreciate the times you get to just have them close to you and enjoy having that connection.   You experience all these wonderful things, and so many more, all because you’re not a brain dead douchebag any more.

   Now, with all that being said, if my girlfriend decides not to leave me for being such a sorry douchebag for so long and neglecting and hurting her so much, I plan to ask her to lock me into chastity.   I’m sure it’ll be an interesting discussion, she’s not well versed outside of vanilla sex, lol.   Hopefully I can broach the subject to her without scaring her off or completely shutting her down.   I honestly do think things would be so much better in our relationship if she were my keyholder.   I’ll let y’all know how it goes and try to get her on the blog if she accepts my request.   Hopefully my next post won’t be that she’s left me because I was so stupid for so long.   Anyway, wish me luck!

P.S.   There are some other activities that can go hand-in-hand with male chastity that I’ll discuss later.   Some of these things include female led relationships (FLR), tease and denial, cuckolding, cock and ball toruture (CBT), and many more.