Funguary Day 12 Ref And Final

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?

Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

Dad: Fuck the government.

Dad: Fuck the school board.

Dad: Close the door.

Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

Dad: I love puns.

Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

Dad: Please shut up.

Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

Dad: They act like I care what they think.

Dad: I hate homework.

Dad: I have decided to become a politician.

Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

Day 1 of Funguary and refs

Or maybe not

David Attenborough on the harsh realities of life.

Life Story (2014)

sircuddlebuns:

remember back in 2013 when literally everything was either OFF or dangan ronpa for a good four months

yeah~ good times, good times

HE'S SO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TurboRoo, a chihuahua born without its front legs, was given a 3D printed cart made by San Diego firm 3dyn so he could train to be a service dog for disabled children.

I MADE ANOTHER ONE WHY DID I MAKE ANOTHER ONE

based off of

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Noragami Aragoto I Episode 9

when the toughest most meanest character falls in love with the cutest most sweetest one

THE SIGNS DOING AN ASSIGNMENT THAT'S DUE THE NEXT DAY

Aries: Screaming, throwing books everywhere, ingesting inhuman amounts of coffee, slamming doors, ripping papers, tossing their phone in the toilet.

Taurus: Can't start until they're had a snack, nap, shower, break, and then they sit down. And they don't stand up until they are done.

Gemini: Hysterical laughter, is in denial, writes the most epic bullshit ever, has a meltdown at 3 am, suffers from loss of identity and motivation.

Cancer: Intense crying on their laptop keyboard, the laptop malfunction, electrocutes them, and all of their work has been erased off the face of the work. Turns in doctor's note.

Leo: Lies to themselves, says they have plenty of time. Says they'll start at 7, and when they check the time, its 7:03. Now they have to wait until 8. Damn it.

Virgo: Begins writing a bunch of drafts, is never satisfied, pulls an all-nighter, has three panic attacks, but turns in a pretty decent assignment.

Libra: Instead of starting, does elaborate research on how to fake sick, comes up with a million excuses, and practices executing them in the mirror.

Scorpio: Hates themselves extensively, cries through half of the paper, uses caps locks aggressively, blogs about how much they hate themselves and their life.

Sagittarius: Cannot seem to start, calls all of their friends and ends up paying someone to do the assignment for them. Plan flops miserably, skips school.

Capricorn: Loathes themselves, cries in the shower, then gets down to business. Thinks they'll fail, gets an A. We hate them.

Aquarius: Actually performs best under pressure. Has a game plan, perfectly executes it, goes to sleep at 1:30 a.m. Can't sleep because they're too wired.

Pisces: Has three months to do the assignment, spends the day before coming up with excuses why they shouldn't do it, skips school.