also. Johnny is an accidental cockwarmer. he whines and goads you into letting him fuck you before bed every night because he cannae kip wi'oot fuckin' yer cunt. but it's always a bad decision because after rutting into like an animal, panting and groaning into your ear from being oversensitive and chafed (he'd fucked you three times already), when he does cum, he passes out. instantly. won't budge. won't wake.
and in the morning, when he does stir, well. why waste the opportunity, right? he's already buried inside of you, anyway.
Soap can't handle anything other than accidental cockwarming. he tries to have you keep him in your mouth while he watches a game, but ends up face-fucking you after a minute.
Gaz is a daddydom (without the daddy kink) and no one can convince me otherwise. but it's just about the caretaking. the affection. cradling you in his lap as he leans against the headboard, flipping through reruns of Golden Girls and spoon feeding you desert despite you protest because you're so full already, Gaz, you can't—
but of course you can. because Gaz wouldn't give you more than you can handle, right? he knows what's best for you. so sit pretty on his cock and be good for him, yeah?
(he might also be a lil bit of a mean!dom, too, but it's buried under so many layers of affection that you can barely notice it.)
Gaz, like Price, will keep himself inside of you any chance he gets.
and Simon is just mean. likes fucking you until you're oversensitive and raw and then stays tucked inside of you, tucking a smirk into your nape when you whine and squirm and beg him to just pull out already, it's too much.
he won't, of course. because he likes it when you cry yourself to sleep in a frazzled mess of overstimulation and sensitivity, still wrapped up nice and soft around his cock. likes fucking you through the night, too, while you whimper in your sleep, his come spilling out all over the sheets.
(fucking Simon is a razor's edge of pleasure and pain, and you better get used to the ache, the sting, because he's a big boy with an even bigger appetite and who wouldn't like having their little bird roosting on their lap?)
Simon is shoving you to your knees to keep him warm when the mood strikes him, which is usually whenever is most inconvenient to you.
no one respects the art of cock-warming quite like Price.
18+ | cock warming. exhibitionism.
he loves having his lil sub (whether you want to be or not) kneeling at his feet, his cock stuffed down your throat while he works, alternating between holding a cigar in his hand or a pen. the other on the back of your head, keeping you still. cradled his lap where you belong.
and he'd spend ages training you up for it, too.
starts by makingyou sit in his lap, letting you mewl and whine and pant in his ear about the stretch, the need. wanting him to just fuck you already and get it over with. but he's patient. let's you acclimate slowly until all he has to do is pat his thigh and you're already shoving your panties to the side, sliding down his thick girth as he turns on some movie you'd been chirping about wanting to see. squirming around for a moment until you find your spot before melting into his chest, breathing around the stretch. because at some point, having him inside of you, stuffing you full—cock, mouth, ass—comes as naturally as breathing, anyway.
but if you think this is a private endeavor only, well. you'd be wrong.
it starts small. his fingers inside of you when you're out at a restaurant with Laswell and her wife (who seems to sharing your expression; Kate's hand disappearing below the table), just sitting. teasing. he's not trying to get you off. it's just training. new horizons, love, he says, and it's just so easy to get swept up into the maelstrom of his desire, isn't it?
a movie after. it's boring. you hate it. so, he unzips his trousers and offers himself to you instead. let's you thumb through your feed (phone on silent, brightness down to zero) in the back of the theatre as you lounge across the chairs in the empty room, his cock down your throat.
an opera. sitting on his lap with him inside of you, dress covering the indecent act as he shoves your panties to the side (only worn in case he finishes—can't have his cum dripping down your thigh when you go out to eat, can you?) and sinks in deep with a little groan muffled into your neck.
soon, he'll refuse to let you sit anywhere that isn't his lap. on his cock. you almost get caught a few times (and maybe you do) but John's influence is all-consuming and no one bats an eye when he starts to bounce you on his lap in an empty restaurant, hand curled over your mouth to keep any noise that spills out just for him. only for him.
if you think falling asleep without him inside of you is an option, then you should have thought about that before moving in because after he fucks you, he'll cradle you close, ignoring any protests about cleaning up. feigns sleep until you huff, giving in.
(you sleep better when he's inside of you, anyway.)
he's just utterly insatiable—and smitten, really—and it doesn't even feel much like training or conditioning when (he rings the dinner bell and) your mouth starts to water as he sits down, thighs spread wide enough for you slip between. nursing his cock the same way he carts his fingers across your nape, cradling the whiskey in his hand. staring down at you with a deep, ravenous hunger as you sigh around the thick of him, and rest your head on his lap.
(a bell echoes in your ear, but it's easy to ignore it because he was right, after all. this is where you belong.)
I think it would be funny if sometimes the brothers exaggerated Mc’s humanness as an excuse to not do certain things, maybe it’s mainly mammon who does it but sometimes the others join in. Saying crap like
Mammon: No can do, we need to go water our human,
Demon:… what?
Asmo: water our human!!
Satan: humans need to drink 8 cups of water a day.
Belphie: And our human is to stupid to remember to drink 1 cup.
Mammon: exactly! We don’t want our human to DIE from dehydration.
when Mc finds out they’ve been doing this, mammon, beel, levi and mc had been caught outside of class, when confronted mammon shushes the person and beel wraps his arms around Mc’s head, covering their eyes and ears,
Mammon: the human has a migraine! Keep your voice down!
Demon: what why?-
Levi: BECAUSE. If humans heads start to hurt to much they explode!
Mammon: so we’re escorting them to the infirmary!
Demon:… do you guys have a hall pass?
Mammon: the great mammon doesn’t need a hall pass! And there’s no time for that! This is an emergency!
Once the demon leaves Mc is confused and speaks up,
Mc: guys who told you that..?? My head isn’t going to explode? Even though it feels like it is..
Mammon: oh eh- don’t worry about it,
Levi: we just say stuff like that to avoid situations lol,
Mc: …. I’m just gonna pretend you guys don’t do that.
Hi, I can't find Sugar baby part 2, I really need it, you can re-upload this part 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Hi! really sorry for that for some reason part 2 was lost for a lot of people.
I'm going to put all the links to all the chapters so far here and later on I'll work on making a proper masterlist for my work!
Sugar baby part 1
sugar baby part 2
sugar baby part 2.5
sugar baby part 3
Also for those of you who wanted to be tagged, I'm really sorry I missed your messages! I'll try and form a proper tag list once I start writing again!
It's always "giving price a blow job under his desk" and never "Price getting you head while under your desk".
I’ve seen a lot of crude jokes going around about the CEO assassination, and I just want to say one thing.
I think we should do worse.
Live reenactments on site. Several scheduled a day, like the shows at Disney parks. Someone brings brownies to pass around for the 10:30am showing. Everyone chants “DENY, DEFEND, DEPOSE” as the shots are being fired. People clap at the end. Someone pops one of those party poppers filled with monopoly money. The real Adjuster is in the crowd. People leave the place with a huge smile on their faces. “Sorry I was late, Boss. I was watching The Adjustment.”
Laughter would be such a confusing emotional expression to alien species. I was watching a comedy live play tonight and laughed so hard that I cried at one point and somewhere in that fugue state I realized how absolutely bizarre a response that is.
Like, relieving tension is a response that aliens would almost definitely understand, but there are more intuitive ones. Massage, deep breathing, exercise, hell even sex make more sense than laughing from a purely biological perspective. But laughing? Briskly expelling air from your lungs so fast that it can overwhelm your system and sometimes cause even more physical tension? Wild.
You text an alien friend "lol" and they ask what it means and you have to look up the etymology because it's 2781 and it's just been its own word for centuries to tell them, "laughing out loud."
"What is 'laughing out loud'?" And then you send them a GIF and they text you back in all caps "ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?? DO YOU NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION??"
And you have to talk them down and explain and they start to feel better until you let slip that at least it wasn't so strong you couldn't breathe and then they spiral again because "this response causes asphyxiation? And it's INVOLUNTARY????"
Not that aliens are humorless of course, but I definitely don't actually lol at most od the Reels my friends send me. I just smile at the cleverness or the stupidity. This, I think aliens would understand—they smile at humans' cleverness and stupidity all the time.
I almost wonder if they would assume the other side of laughter first, due to its oddity to them. Because we know very well that sometimes laughter can let off tension in a bad way, too. A witch's cackle, a villain's chuckle, a little girl's giggle in a horror movie.
Would it be affirming, I wonder, to see the horror on a human's face when they lose contact with a member of their crew planetside and when they finally make contact again, all they hear is a slow, dark snickering through the comm?
After all, it's such a strange thing to hear, laughter.
Would it be a relief to see their faces pale with the same unease that the aliens' feel every time they hear that odd sharp sound from the depths of human throats?
Or would it strike an even deeper chord of fear, to see that sound that makes every human smile turn their face, instead?
Merman Levi my beloved silly sea creature
Plus a silly little doodle
pairing: john doe x gender neutral reader
pronouns used: they/them
summary: john doe gives his cannibal partner a gift
trigger warnings: cannibalism, skin picking, gore
w.c: 499
it was quiet, too quiet for your liking. john doe hadn't been home in hours; abnormal for them, considering you were used to him clinging to you like a cat twenty-four seven. for her to be gone this long, it almost scared you. what if something bad happened to it? what if they got tired of you? what if he...
you shook your head. no, they love you. it's attached to your hip when he's home. she can barely leave your side when you're together. they would never leave you.
you switched the television on, assimilating the static noise coming from the speakers. your mouth twitched into a small smile, your eyes falling closed, and you took a deep breath. you were at peace, despite the feeling of doe at your side being missing.
꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦
you didn’t know how long you had been sleeping. when you peeked through the black-out curtains, it was pitch black, the moon being the only light illuminating the empty street. you sat down, rubbing your lateral muscles. where was doe?
you sighed, hunching forward, propping your head in your hands. your head was pounding, and your stomach felt like it was being eaten from the inside out.
you were starving.
you stood, took hurried steps to the kitchen and threw the fridge door open. and, like your growling stomach, it was empty. your eyebrows furrowed and you threw an arm across your belly, rubbing gently to try and sooth yourself.
you closed the fridge and rummaged through the freezer instead. nothing. you ransacked the cabinets to find one bite of anything, and to your shit luck, nothing.
you groaned, knees meeting the tile with a thud. how is there nothing to eat? you started picking at your scabs in frustration, knocking your head against a cabinet door.
the knocking came to an abrupt stop, though, when something tugged at your hair. you looked up and, to your delight, saw doe.
“my love.” you breathed, almost tackling them in a hug. “where have you been?”
john doe grins, her arms wrapping around your waist tightly. “i got you a gift.” he purred, burying its face in the crevice of your neck and shoulder.
the smell hit you with a pang, and for a moment you thought you could melt. a grin plastered across your tired face, and you sat up, taking a long whiff. doe wiped a bit of drool that escaped your starved mouth, laughing. with a tug of their hand, he dragged out a wrapped box, setting it on her stomach.
“open it, sweetheart.” they trilled, running its hands to your hips. gleefully, you tear the box apart, and with a moan, you almost cry at the sight.
“oh, my love...” you whisper, reaching in and cradling the heart. “thank you...”
with haste, you bit a chunk out of the organ, your eyes falling closed, and your stomach satisfied.
doe grinned as he watched you eat the heart out with love in their eyes.
———
a/n: hope you enjoyed !!! and i promise i will get to some of your requests soon , writing’s hard <3
I will stoop to subscribing to his onlyfans if that ghost cosplayer makes one. Everyone please avert your gaze during this trying time, this is a new low for me