‘Belehrung’ by Sergius Hruby, 1935
Cute headcanon: Imagine Billy being told the truth that day at the Byers in s2 and becoming the Party Co-Parent with steve and Dustin telling Billy that he and Steve are the party's paladin and fighter and Billy's gleaned enough to be like "haha I'm the fighter I get it" only for Dustin to be like "nope you're a paladin under the oath of devotion, you fit all the tenets" and just rocking Billy's world bc he's never been told his tendency to throw himself in the middle of shit and this protectiveness that's gotten twisted is a *good* thing
Steve finds him later just staring blankly at the Players Manual that Dustin showed Billy and he just sighs and goes to yell at Dustin like "what did I SAY about not breaking Billy with the revelation that he's not a complete asshole"
Listen, listen, listen. This is pure gold.
Because picture it: Billy was in the right to be creeped the fuck out when he rolled up to the Byers house that night, right? He's running around looking for his little sister, knowing he's going to get his ass handed to him if something's happened to her, and he finds her with Steve fucking Harrington and a whole bunch of boys at a strange house in a part of town he's likely never been to, that Max snuck out to get to. If he'd gotten an actual explanation, if Steve had said, "Hey, man, I know this is weird as shit, but there's a whole lot that you don't know. There's some life or death shit happening here."
...I mean, Billy still would've tried to fight him. It's Billy. I'd love it if a demodog attacked at that same moment. Ramp up the tension and shove Billy right into this world of monsters and mayhem. Maybe it grabs him while he's pummeling Steve, so he has no choice but to react, to whirl around on it, and Steve stumbles up and helps him kill it and Billy just stares at him like what. the. fuck.
And he looks at Max because, seriously, we have been here for like a week, how have you already gotten involved with some Stephen King-level bullshit, Maxine? And she has absolutely no time to explain. She's still wrapping her head around all of this, after all. She tells Billy he's either in or out and holds her hands out, demanding his keys, and he just rolls his eyes and piles everyone into his car and they do the whole going down into the tunnels thing. He has NO CLUE what's going on, but he's not letting Max out of his sight now that he knows her life is in literal danger.
It's not until the Snow Ball that Steve gives Billy the full run-down. Max has given him bits and pieces, but it's still so new to both of them, so he has to get the whole story from Steve. They drive Dustin and Max to the dance, then spend the night sitting on the hood of the Camaro while Steve tells Billy everything. "There's a girl with superpowers? What is this, the fucking X-Men?" He's dumbfounded, but he's got no choice to believe it. And he won't quite admit it to anyone else, but it did feel good, down in those tunnels, to fight with someone instead of against them — to feel like Steve and the kids all had his back.
And maybe when the Mind Flayer comes back around, it doesn't go after Billy, because Billy's not alone, he's not isolated. He's got Steve now, because you don't fight inter-dimensional monsters with someone and not get close to them. They hang out. They become friends. Maybe more than friends. And it's a package deal, yeah? You get Steve, you get the kids. Plus, he and Max have a better relationship after, y'know, nearly getting eaten by demogorgons together. He might be a little grumpy, a little rough around the edges, but he still has friends. He's not an island anymore. The Mind Flayer has to pick someone else while Billy is with the kids, all of them worried about where Steve and Dustin might be this whole time, and when they finally link up together at the mall, Dustin tells him his role. He looks at Steve and Billy and says, "Fighter. Paladin." and Billy rolls his eyes because yeah, okay, of course he's the fighter, all fists and rage, and Dustin looks at him all confused and is like nope, no sir, you're the paladin — the leader — the protector.
And Billy is blown away.
No one challenges Dustin, either. They all agree, and this confuses Billy even more. Max is the one that explains that he protects them. That they all see it, that they all know that he looks out for them, this little group of misfits, these targets for the bully that Billy thought he was. They see him. They know that he's more than some angry kid, more than the asshole his father has molded him to be, and MY GOD would he take that so, so seriously.
And yes, when all is said and done and they can have their little MCU-esque post credits scene eating pizza and playing D&D in Mike's basement, Billy sits in the corner and thumbs through the player's guide to learn more about this title that Dustin has bestowed upon him, and Steve shakes his head and looks at Dustin all, "Nice going. You broke him." but he can't say it without smiling because look at Billy. Being part of the group. Embracing the weirdos. Counting himself among them.
GOD I LOVE IT.
Hey remember that a boycott if actually MORE effective under capitalism if you profess you would actually end the boycott under certain conditions.
“Nothing this company does can make up for their bad actions, I will never buy from them again!” Okay so they’ve lost you as a customer and have no reason to try and get you back. You can HOPE to drive them into bankruptcy but Chic-Fil-A is evidence of how well that works.
“This company did something bad. I would not consider buying their product again, UNLESS, they publicly apologized and made up for it by … [donating money to a cause, promoting different content, offering better care to their employees, etc.]” This is actually MORE likely to be effective because if enough people say this, the company m sees them as potential customers of a certain demographic, and is willing to make changes to get those customers back and, long term, make money from them.
Oooo it’s me!!
Jonathan, looking out the window and once more watching Dracula scale the walls like a lizard:
a story in 3 parts
crocheted this stegosaurus for my nephew who was just borned! made with cotton thread
pattern by Heidibears
↬ OF FAIRYTALES, FOLKLORE AND FAEKIND.
scenarios inspired by various settings, encounters & magic tucked between pages, fashioned by the author.
+ feel free to change pronouns / roles !
FAIRYTALES.
‘ let me guess, you thought a true love’s kiss would help you. ’
‘ you will always follow the trail in the wood, and it will guide you on the same path, to the same cottage, the same witch. it will always be your undoing. ’
‘ i have never seen a more tragic creature. how might i help you ? ’
‘ you must take this knife and plunge it into his / her / their heart. ’
‘ forget yourself. that is how you break your curse. ’
‘ remove this thorn from my hand, and you will be rewarded. ’
‘ i’m tired of being a prince. i think i would actually enjoy being a frog. ’
‘ tell me of the beast, and i will hunt it for you. ’
‘ mice are never just mice, and pumpkins are rarely just pumpkins. ’
‘ i don’t think breaking a spell should be this simple. ’
‘ i never thought i’d return here, to the site where it all began. ’
‘ are you an orphan ? it’s just that they’re always finding themselves in magical predicaments. ’
‘ the mirror speaks falsely in your ear. it is your true curse. ’
‘ my heart feels uneasy, although i am free. is it supposed to ? ’
‘ i’m sorry, it’s just that i thought this is the part of the quest where the animals ought to start talking to me. ’
‘ of course i plan on going to the ball. why wouldn’t i ? ’
‘ jealousy has made more witches out of women than adam’s rib. ’
‘ where has choosing goodheartedness and having golden hair ever gotten you ? ’
‘ are you a helpful wizard, or the kind that sits in a tower reading moldy books ? ’
‘ i’m dreadfully bored. who knew waiting for a prince was so strenuous ? ’
‘ we all have towers we must leave, and magic that will try to thwart us. ’
‘ i’m afraid for the clock to strike. the hour will ring in the place of my heartbeat when we must be parted. ’
‘ i had no idea carpets could fly. or pigs for that matter. ’
‘ what would happen if the knight did not arrive to the castle, and the dragon made a den of it and a hoard of its people and prize of its princess ? ’
‘ i sometimes think i was switched out at birth, like a lizard in a bird’s nest. i belong somewhere else. ’
‘ in another kingdom exists a throne and a crown that is mine by right. ’
‘ if i did not wake up one day, i would still be waiting on a spinning wheel, dutifully bored. ’
‘ something in me knows you are here for my heart. ’
FOLKLORE.
‘ in all the myths i’ve heard, it’s never been worthwhile to approach strange sights. it’s best to turn around and pretend you never saw them. ’
‘ nothing is folklore until it exists longer than consciousness remembers, and lives in spite of it. ’
‘ i’ve heard your name before, in songs and lengthy ballads. ’
‘ whatever has led you here to me, there is destiny in its making. ’
‘ the beast returns every century or so, and tries to devour us. it will come again before long. ’
‘ a pretty face is not nothing. it earns you a hearth and a kind hand, after all. ’
‘ their lips are red as blood, and their teeth carve ruin into throats. ’
‘ aren’t dragons supposed to breathe fire and make a fuss about having their treasure found ? ’
‘ someday you will become a pilgrim, a saint, or a favored story, while i will be a voice on the wind. ’
‘ the stories say brides don’t live to the light before demons devour them. why should i become one ? ’
‘ there was another girl like you once, in a small town like this one. i can’t remember if she became the monster or died trying to escape it. ’
‘ remember to festoon the hearth with garlic, or rosemary, or one of those mundane herbs that keep evil out. ’
‘ that sounds like nothing but a tall tale, but i’m certain smaller minds would eat it up. ’
‘ to cross this bridge, you’ll have to pay a heavy toll. ’
‘ don’t stray too far from the path set before you, or something interesting might happen. ’
‘ i’ve passed that yard of crops a million times, but the crow never moved from its post until this morning. ’
‘ it is as though ancient fears are still in us like scars or stitches. ’
‘ graveyards aren’t where you find ghosts. look for them in places that feel like memories you shouldn’t have. ’
‘ stories reap princes from peasants as if their skins were crops in the ground. ’
‘ what form does your fear take ? surely not that of a bear or a lion. such things are too assuring. ’
‘ i found myself where everything was too familiar to be real. ’
‘ in safe beds on cold dark nights, we learn to face the monsters in our own minds. ’
FAEKIND.
‘ you’re not to partake in a fairy feast. don’t you know it’s the food that will devour you ? ’
‘ i’m sorry you did not read the eyes of the trees before finding yourself here. ’
‘ i wish to go back. i want to forget everything. ’
‘ you think that believing in us is enough to protect you ? that it will kill us if you forget, and we prey upon your unknowing ? ’
‘ step around the ring three times, like a backwards clock. that’s how you get to fairyland. ’
‘ i’ve never heard such sweet music before. ’
‘ where the trees begin to twist and groan in their roots, remember you must not make a right turn. ’
‘ i didn’t feel like i’d stepped into another world, but like it stepped into me. i knew i was there and forgot i’d left anything behind. ’
‘ how amusing. a human ! ’
‘ would you be my bride if i were to take you into the ground ? ’
‘ i know of tunnels you might take, the burrows of trolls and rabbits. ’
‘ don’t take anything from this realm, none of it is worth the price of keeping. ’
‘ there are courts by many titles in the lands beyond the veil, all of them other. ’
‘ names are not like currency here; they are more precious than diamonds and legacies. ’
‘ did you think all of us looked like goblins ? ’
‘ getting here is easy, but getting home is quite the trick. ’
‘ i shall give you a riddle, and it will puzzle you until you know the answer but forget your own soul. ’
‘ a bloodline is nothing when you’ve outlived civilizations. ’
‘ refusing my hospitality is like human sin, and it will bring worse upon you. ’
‘ everything here is and isn’t, and things are and aren’t. ’
‘ on lonely nights i stare into the trees, and a strange face leers back. ’
‘ the thrones here are made of bones and blood, and built upon decay. ’
‘ a third time is not a charm, but a bargain. it says that you want something enough to wager your sense. ’
‘ it is dangerous to think that magical beings do not have human intensities. ’
🎼 You would not believe your eyes, if 10 million fireflies ended up in the header of your AO3. 🎶
It's been a while since I tried glow effects, but I saw the fireflies and I couldn't resist.
CSS code under the cut.
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rank the kids from "would destroy the batmobile in less than 10 minutes if left alone" to "Bruce wouldn't notice for 2 weeks if you took it for a joyride"
Canonically can't drive – Cassandra
Can drive but can't operate the controls – Duke
He's 3 feet tall, that's a fender bender waiting to happen – Damian
Promptly returned it because he felt bad – Cullen
She's 13 – Carrie
Failed her driving test so many times the DMV just gave her a license so she'd stop bothering them – Stephanie
Tried to pull a quick one as an only child so as punishment he's no longer an only child – Dick
Could pilot it remotely while borrowing her neighbor's WiFi – Barbara
Made it halfway to Central City before getting a ticket – Harper
Slowly stole the parts and reassembled it somewhere else, waiting for the opportunity to pull up next to Bruce with his second secret Batmobile – Jason
Leaves it where it normally is but gaslights Bruce into thinking it's gone – Tim