Music Always Moves Me In Such A Way, Nothing Can Compare. It Makes Me Feel So Alive, Sending Me To Other

welp. 

managed to make myself so irrationally angry I cant even breath. 

why on earth do I do this to myself? why? why??

my heart is pounding and racing out of my chest in firey anger and my eyes sting

I know I need to just relax and breathe but I swear its like blinding hot anger.

I shouldnt be so worked up over something from literally years ago that had nothing to do with me 

but.. fuck.. it makes me sick..

im just being a stupid irrationally angry crybaby and i hate it...

Gentle reminder that the brain gets used to intense stimuli over time and that it tends to seek out things that make you feel bad again once you’re in a better place

So if you’re suffering from trauma, abuse or depression then don’t beat yourself up about wanting to feel bad again and seeking out triggers or abuse. It’s not because you deserve any of that, it’s because your brain was exposed to bad things for so long that it can’t make sense of how you’re doing now.

We’ve all been there. It’s going to be okay. You can do this.

Chronic Illness flare clinics need to be a thing.

They need to have holistic chronic illness clinics. You can go to them while you’re in a flare. They have low sensory rooms with soft beds and low light tv’s. Have doctors to administer flare reducing meds/pain meds, but also have holistic professionals like massage therapists, acupuncturist, mindfulness workers, physical therapists, chiropractors etc etc.

Basically so that you’re entire body and mind can heal because the reality of this is mind and body health need to be aligned.

This is especially necessary because going to an ER for a flare can be so terrible and increase the intensity of the flare. It’s so bright and you have to wait for hours to be seen by doctors who let’s be honest don’t specialize in chronic illness, and are trying to jam in as many patients as they can because of being over capacity.

This is what healthcare would look like if it was designed by the sick.

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

FUCK IM A FUCKING IDIOT FUCKING END ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD UHALSKGJN GODDAMNIT THIS HURTS

FUCK

Have I already told the person this thing? Have I only thought about telling them? Have I only dreamt about telling them? Or am I going to tell them and find out I already told them 3 times before?