Kinda Super Proud Of This Braid Today 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Edmund Burke (via anamorphosis-and-isolate)

Okay I'm real salty here tonight. I AM SO NOT HERE for that weird form of judgment that sounds like pity. You know the one I'm talking about? "Oh, that poor 16 year old girl out drinking with her friends on a Wednesday night. So sad." Yeah, it's freaking heartbreaking. But not when you say it like that! When you say it like that it sounds self-righteous and preachy. It's the same tone you use for those black-baby-poverty-porn commercials. "Tsk tsk, so sad." And you shake your head and go back to your obviously perfect life. My friend, I'm not about that. You know people could have said about me? "Oh that poor girl failed all her courses this semester. So sad." "Oh that poor girl has hooked up with three guys in the span of a month. So sad." And sure, I was going through it. But that superiority-complex pity you're dishing was not gonna help me one bit. That's a way to separate yourself from the person. GRACE DOES NOT ALLOW US TO SEPARATE OURSELVES FROM PEOPLE. Grace puts us face to face with our fellow man and says, "this could be you." And when we see our brothers and sisters stumbling, our reaction should not be "so sad." It should be "hey, how's it going?" Because we have to be there for each other. We have to recognize that when our girls are out drinking and partying and having sex, it's because they feel empty and unloved. It's because no one cared enough about them to tell that they're worth more than that! It's because they don't know that feeling numb isn't actually better than feeling their emotions. Guess who could have told them that? We could have! When our children are struggling, it is because of our failure as a community to care for them. And it is our responsibility to be there for them in whatever they're going through, and to offer them a hand when they trip. Not to stand back and say "so sad."

I live ur blog :)))))))) so much

Aww! :) Thanks bro!

Don't be fooled by kids and their follies, you have wisdom beyond fear.

I don’t know where this came from but I like it!

some positives:

Seven states voted to protect abortion rights, including the deeply red state of Missouri

Sarah McBride became the first openly trans woman elected to congress

Mark Robinson, the man who called himself a "Black N*zi" will not be governor of North Carolina

Angela Alsobrooks and Lisa Blunt Rochester become the first duo of black women senators ever in the history of the senate (sadgressive but good for their constituents)

Kentucky voted to protect public education!

how do you feel about sex before marriage? where do you draw the line? i'm struggling myself in a new relationship. I don't know what's ok before marriage and what isn't for me. what are your opinions.

Okay, so…given my lifestyle in 2014, it would be hypocritical and counterproductive for me to tell you, “you can’t do anything! nothing at all! hands off! this is a kissing-only zone!”. Not only because that is not representative of all of my experiences, but also because it doesn’t really help you arrive at any kind of real conclusion for yourself. If you are a Christian like me and believe the Bible, you would agree that God is pretty clear about the “no sex before marriage” thing. What sometimes gets debated depending on people’s interpretation of the Bible is what actually, *teeeeeeechnically* constitutes sex. Mainly I think that this is because we tend to look for loopholes so that we can do the stuff we want to do without having to feel guilty about it because it’s “not technically sinning”. So you’ll see different definitions from different people. Some would say that “real sex” is only the insertional kind, that is, the kind when the penis enters the vagina. So not only is that super heteronormative and binarist, it’s also a very conveniently technical definition, which ignores how very nuanced the situation is. Some would tell you that the only thing you’re allowed to do before marriage is kissing. Some would say it’s not even that. One of my friends has a definition of sex that dictates that all parties involved must have an orgasm for it to be sex, which essentially disqualifies a lot of heterosexual encounters. I have a broader definition. I personally think that anything involving the genitals qualifies as sex. Whether it’s hands or mouth down there, or even if there’s layers of fabric in between, I think it still counts. This definition has not been formed based on theoretical morals or a sense of superiority. It reflects my personal experiences. And based on this definition, I’m not really uptight about wandering hands, as long as they avoid the crotch. That right there is a stance that’s quite a bit more liberal than some people. 

Now, all that being said, my personally-held belief is that God tells us not to have sex before marriage to protect us, and to preserve the sacred bond of matrimony. Lots of people use sex as an easy high (like I used to) but its real purpose (besides reproduction) is to strengthen interpersonal bonds. Sex causes the release of the hormone oxytocin, colloquially dubbed “the cuddle hormone” which gives you all the warm and fuzzy feelings and makes you feel attached to the person you had sex with. That’s why casual sex has the potential to be really emotionally and psychologically damaging if someone doesn’t know what to do with those feelings. But sex has been God-ordained to build intimacy between you and the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. 

So the first question you really need to ask yourself is “when do my actions cross the line from fun, playful and affirming, into intimacy-building territory?” And you will know. That oxytocin is powerful stuff, man. The level of trust and vulnerability you need to be intimate with another human is no trifling thing and you will know when you feel like you’re building bonds with this person that might need to be saved for a later time and a more cemented relationship. You will also know when you’ve achieved a level of intimacy with someone that you weren’t ready for. My hope for you is that you never experience that, because it kinda sucks. So you need to figure out where your own line is for you. I’ve told you what my definition is. That being said, have I always and do I always adhere strictly to my own boundaries? No. Because once you’ve crossed the line, you become desensitized, and it’s hard to go back. So the best piece of advice I can give you is to be proactive and figure out where your line is before you cross it by accident, cause it’s a lot harder to cross back to the other side of the line. In saying that, I must caution you that the line is in different places for different people, and you may be less desensitized that I am, so just be careful to figure out where your line really is. And your line might be different from your person’s line, and then it comes down to not causing other people to stumble. So it’s important to know where your line is and where your partner’s is, so that you both can feel safe and comfortable and at peace with the physical aspect of your relationship. 

The second question you need to ask yourself is “how close do I want to get to the line?” That translates to, “where are wandering hands allowed to go?”, or “in what situations will we allow ourselves to experience that closeness?” (hint: in bed in an empty house is a bad idea if you’re not so great in the self control area) and “are clothes coming off or staying on?” It can be a really slippery slope, and the more “breathing room” you give yourself, the happier it will be. If you go aaaaall the way right up to the line the very first time, you’ve put yourself in a very precarious position because one little slip up could be disastrous. If you start off far away from the line, a little slip up is like “oh okay, still not a big deal because we still haven’t totally crossed the line.” 

I do not want you to experience the guilt and shame that I experienced, the stuff that comes with moving too fast and not caring enough. So like, go you for asking this question and for giving it some thought. I know it can be really tricky. I encourage you to think long and hard about it so that you can be proactive and so that you know what choice you’re making. I am not a huge believer in like “oh it just happened! it was an accident!” I think you need to know what you’re doing and you need to own it. 

Finally, be gracious with yourself. I know you’re gonna work really hard at this, but we are not perfect people, and if human nature is any indication, you’re probably going to make mistakes. You are not damaged goods. You are not ruined. A friend of mine once told me that grace is not a once had, once lost kind of thing, and neither is purity. Yeah, sexual sin is given a fair amount of screen time in the Bible, and I believe that is because of the repercussions that sexual promiscuity can have for us in this lifetime. But all sin is equal in the sight of God, which means that yes all sin is equally transgressive but also all sin is equally forgivable. Do not permanently condemn yourself for anything, because God doesn’t do that and neither should we. 

And of course, the best advice is to keep God at the centre of your relationship and pray about your relationship. If your ultimate goal is to foster a God-honouring relationship, it’s a lot harder to disobey him in that relationship. 

Good luck! If you know me in real life you’re more than welcome to contact me through any medium to chat more. If not, you can always ask me more questions here. 

Peace and love! 

- Katherine

My stance on...

gender identity

labels

pronouns

gender expression

clothes, piercings, tattoos, medications, therapy, hormones, surgeries, accomodations

sexual orientation

relationships between consenting adults

You can do whatever you want forever.

This applies to...

me

you

everyone

Don't understand someone's identity/orientation/labels? Doesn't matter.

Don't "agree" with someone's pronouns or their interpretation/description of their own identity? Fuck off. Who do you think you are? Your opinion is neither desired nor relevant.

Kill the cop inside your mind. Don't be a dick.

Do you think your parents would disallow you from reading books such as fifty shades of grey, go ask alice or crank?

dude man bro! I’ve read Go Ask Alice and I had forgotten it until this very second. That was such a sad book :( and I googled Crank and would probs totes read it just for educational purposes. [sidenote: this recent affliction I’ve acquired of abbreviating perfectly functional words such as probably and totally is shocking and will be cured as of right now.]

Now my ducky, as for Fifty Shades of Grey…why, I ask you, would I want to read a book whose contributions to the literary world are phrasal gems such as “kinky f***ery” and “puckered love cave”? I mean, I’m not into porn but I imagine that if I was I’d like something a tad more well-written.

All that being said, I wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter until I was 13 and I wasn’t allowed to read Twilight until I was 16 because my mom was worried about the effects on my young impressionable mind. Having since read all four Twilight books, I think she was quite in the right. The relationships in that book are unhealthy, co-dependent and bordering on emotionally abusive. Harry Potter, on the other hand, is and will remain one if my favourite series. Anyway! It’s not that she didn’t want me exposed to the pain and evil in the world, she just wanted to make sure I was mature enough to put everything I read into it’s proper place in my brain. And I think we’re quite past that point now. My brain is far less malleable nowadays, and I think she recognizes my ability to use discernment when selecting reading materials.

And that ability is why I will NEVER read Fifty Shades of Grey. Haha..

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

Redefine your paradigms.

And when I say redefine, I mean shatter. Destroy and decimate completely.

Something that has been revealed to me in the past few days is that what I believe is the absolute most diluted form of Christianity. It's so diluted to the point that it's barely even Christianity. It's some teeny, tiny, manmade idea of Christianity. But really, it's just church. It's just going to a building and following our cute little set of rules, and sitting in our cute little pews and singing our cute little songs. And it is so far from the lifestyle that God has called us to that it's repulsive. 

Like, God is CRAZY, man. Like tornado-hurricane-tsunami-earthquake crazy. He is mountain-crumbling, earth-shattering, sky-splitting crazy. He is sooooo much bigger than our puny minds can possibly fathom. He has called us to live on the edge. He has called us to walk on water every day, even in the midst of the storm. He has called us to live a life so extraordinary that supernatural events become ordinary. He has told us that we will even do greater things than Jesus did while He was here on the earth. He has called us to expect signs and wonders and miracles daily. 

Did you know that healings, miracles, raising people from the dead, and casting out demons are normal things?! 

Like, do you realize that our lives are supposed to be so mind-blowing that it looks scary? When was the last time your life had any element of serious risk to it? I know personally, that my life is pretty much perfect and comfortable and freaking BORING. Why am I happy with my life like this?? It sucks! I want to live in such a way that God's power and glory is blowing my mind 24/7. I want to live in such a way that I live in constant awe at my crazy, insane, wonderful, terrible, magnificent God. 

I can't even stress to you how crazy, inside-out-upside-down, shake this world to its foundations ABSOLUTELY UNFATHOMABLY INFINITELY AWESOME God is!! 

What sparked this post was the film series by Darren Wilson: Finger of God, Furious Love and Father of Lights. Dude man bro, watch those movies and see what God can actually really do, because I think we theoretically believe that God CAN do anything, but we don't necessarily believe that He WILL do anything. But once we start believing that He can and He WILL, and we step out in faith, He's already THERE. He's just willing and waiting to do crazy amazing things, and just love on this world, and we just gotta be brave enough to let it happen. 

Come on man, refuse to be satisfied with this life that we're living. There's SO MUCH MORE out there. 

Peace and love!  -Katherine