The Friend Zone  Four-part Rant Of The Day Part 2

reblogging from myself because this is how strongly I feel about it 

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LISTEN UP

I AM A CHRISTIAN.

I BELIEVE IN HEAVEN AND HELL.

KNOW WHAT I DON’T BELIEVE?

THAT PEOPLE GO TO HELL FOR BEING GAY.

KNOW WHY?

CAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS.

KNOW WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS?

THAT EVERYBODY WOULD GO TO HELL IF NOT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD THROUGH JESUS CHRIST WHO DIED ON THE CROSS.

THE BIBLE ALSO SAYS THAT IF YOU CONFESS WITH YOUR MOUTH THAT JESUS IS LORD AND BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART THAT GOD RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD, YOU’LL BE SAVED (ROMANS 10 FREAKING 9 MOTHER-TRUCKER)

THEREFORE!!!

PEOPLE GO TO HELL IF THEY DON’T KNOW THE LOVE OF JESUS.

YOU KNOW WHO’S NEVER GONNA KNOW THE LOVE OF JESUS IF THE CHURCH KEEPS BEING RIGID JUDGEMENTAL CONDESCENDING NOT-NICE PEOPLE!?!?!

YOU GUESSED IT!

GAY PEOPLE 

CHURCH, BY OSTRACIZING GAY PEOPLE YOU ARE LITERALLY LIVING THE ANTITHESIS OF YOUR MANDATE.

I find it really interesting that you only need to know three things about me in order to know absolutely everything about me. If I were to tell you that I have the spiritual gift of mercy, that my personality is ENFP, and that I exhibit maladaptive perfectionism, you would have all the information you’d ever need to predict exactly how I will behave in literally any given situation. You’d be able to learn my moral code of ethics, my motivation, my strengths and weaknesses, my decision-making process, my bad habits, my unhealthy behaviours, and my coping mechanisms. Which means that you’d already know me far better than I ever want anyone to know me. What’s truly funny about all of this is that all those things are Nature, not Nurture. I was hardwired that way. That’s just who I am as a person. And I am physically incapable of behaving in a way that is contrary to my nature. I’m basically programmed that way. I’m essentially a robot obeying commands. I’m so easily summarized by a few choice labels. I’m nothing more than the combination of a select few traits. And I’m thoroughly predictable. 

Aww thanks bb! :) 

Self Respect and Slut Shaming Another one of my rants, because you know I can’t resist giving my opinion on a sensitive topic. This one is on video! Yay! *Pixelated some stuff because I’m conservative **Song in the background is Revo by Walk Off The Earth

I received an Anonymous question...oh, quite some time ago...asking me what I thought of Mormons. Well, I didn't know what I thought of Mormons; had never even asked myself what I thought of Mormons until I read the question. I have since embarked on quite the daunting quest of discovering the differences between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity, i.e. Catholic, Pentecostal, Baptist, Anglican, Salvation Army, etc.). I'm quite interested and I'm trying to become as informed as I possibly can, to give you an unbiased answer. Please be patient with me :) I'll get there!

My Commitment to You

I cannot fix everything, as much as I want to. I can't kiss it and make it all better or put a bandaid on it and magically cure all ailments. 

But I can be there. 

I have arms to hug you with. I have a shoulder for you to cry on. I have ears to listen. I have eyes to see you for who you truly are. I have lips to tell you all the wonderful things about yourself. 

I promise that I will never tell you that what you are feeling is wrong or invalid. I promise that I will always acknowledge your pain. 

I promise that I will always encourage you. I promise that I will always be a source of hope and optimism. I promise that I will remind you of why you are a beautiful human being. I promise that I will remind you that life is worth it. I promise that I will cheer you on. 

I promise that I won't give up on you. 

I promise that I will love you, fiercely, unconditionally, and inexorably. I promise that I will never stop loving you no matter what. 

That's what I CAN do. 

Also in regards to Paul, there are many who believe that he was either a widower or divorced (perhaps his wife left him when he became a Christian). He speaks to older widows and says they shouldn't get married but stay like him, which many take to imply that he had been married but chose not to remarry. Also being married may have been a requirement to be on the Jewish council. Anyway, I loved your response, but I just wanted to address those two things. Have a blessed day :)

Hmmm…that’s really cool! I’d never even heard of that theory until now! I will definitely be doing some digging. This then, is a good example of why fact checking is important. I think I’ll see if I can make some edits to the earlier response to correct that misinformation. Regardless, do you still agree that a celibate marriage is probably not so much a great idea? Haha :) Thank you very much, I’m so glad you took the time to message me! It’s always great to get input from people smarter and wiser than I am haha. Also, thanks and I hope you have an awesome day too :)-Katherine 

I’ve always had trouble with this idea of “hearing from God.” I always side-eye those super A+ put-together Christians who were hearing from God every week, and somehow I was outside the door of some secret club where God was throwing around fortune cookies full of His life-changing secrets.Let’s consider that God does speak to us every week. Let’s consider photosynthesis, the spinning of atoms, the burning of stars, the breath we just breathed, your child’s messy drawing, the twitching of your neurons to fire off emotions, a hug from your best friend. Let’s consider the sustaining of our molecules, which is purely by His grace. Let’s see all we are missing when our eyes are locked on a screen when the world is unrolling around us, as God makes His glory known through nature and coincidence. Let’s consider Christ, who is God’s spoken word and His very own glorious radiance (Hebrews 1:2-3). Let’s consider that God is already within the silence, and that even when we do not “feel” Him, God is okay with this too.

J.S. from this post (via yesdarlingido)

Supergirl Syndrome

You know that scene in Pirates of the Caribbean where Elizabeth Swan is made to wear a really tight corset and she faints and falls into the ocean because she can’t frickin breathe? That is what the word “perfect” reminds me of. I used to think it was a wonderful compliment, but now hearing someone say “Katherine, I think you’re pretty much perfect” causes quite the uncomfortable constricting of my chest.

My fondest aspiration in life used to be to achieve this state of superhumanity and to evolve into this perfect version of myself that I had created in my head. I loved that Katherine. She was kind, smart, in shape, confident, funny, and pretty. She balanced the academic, professional, spiritual, social and emotional aspects of her life with ease. I wanted to be her. There was just one problem. She didn’t exist. She was an impossible idea.

Curiously, when I discovered that I couldn’t be any more than human (it was a pretty big shock), I began wishing I could be less than human. I perceived all my emotions as weakness and I wanted to get rid of them all. I almost succeeded, I think. Or at least I almost succeeded in hiding my emotions from me and most of the people around me. I liked to think that I was a talented actress and a really good liar. It was really bad for me though.

I’m talking about all of that in the past tense, but I’m still really, REALLY struggling with it. It still really bothers me that I’m not perfect and that I never can be. When someone tells me that they think I’m perfect (which actually happens fairly often, but only because people think it’s more difficult than it actually is to abstain from swearing, drinking and sex), I get very upset because I know that I’m not and I just really don’t like that fact.

I’m telling you all of this because those are my symptoms of the “Supergirl Syndrome”. It’s an insidious disease and it affects most of the women I’m closest with. I’m sure there’s a parallel “Superman Syndrome” that affects guys but I’m not a guy so I’m probably going to be talking mostly to girls on this one. The causes of our affliction are probably a combination of societal pressures and maybe a little bit of hardwired psychology. Who knows. Not me. But I do know that I think many of us feel the need to be all things to all people at all times. We want to defy stereotypes so we have to be everything. We have to be smart AND pretty AND athletic AND popular. I’ve met way too many women who think they aren’t good enough. And I’m tired of it.

Symptoms of Supergirl Syndrome include but are not limited to…

Feelings of inadequacy

Comparing yourself to other girls

The desire to crawl into a hole and hide

The feeling of being under a large amount of pressure

Aversion to the word “perfect”

Emotional unavailability or repression

Academic stress

Athletic stress

Stress in general

Fear of what others think

Doing too much

Anxiety

Eating disorders

Unexplained feelings of guilt

Feelings of self-loathing

Inability to turn down another time commitment 

Inability to admit failure

Inability to cope with failure or mistakes

Extreme reactions to constructive criticism or criticism in general

Feel free to add your own to the list.

Okay so how do we treat Supergirl Syndrome? Is there a cure? I hope so! If not I’m in big trouble. I’m learning that the solution to this problem, as with most problems, is transparency and community. Please be gentle with me here because the advice I’m about to give you is advice that I’m still having trouble in following myself! The two most freeing statements I’ve heard are from my mom and my best friend, respectively. They are as follows:

“It’s no big secret that you’re not perfect. Nobody is under any illusions in regards to your imperfection. So you might as well stop trying.” - My mom (admittedly, it doesn’t sound particularly uplifting, but its stark honesty was what I needed.)

***

“You’re not perfect. But you’re you. And you are way cooler and more beautiful than the idea of a perfect you could be.” - Sarah

I’m learning that the best things we can do for each other are to be honest with each other and to invite others to be honest with us. It actually had a far bigger effect on me than I could have predicted when one of my friends simply said to me “I’m here for you if you need to talk or anything.” It was so simple but it was like he gave me permission to need another human being. Your friends really do love you and they really are there for you. Being honest with them is one of the best things you can do for yourself. And it encourages other people around you to be honest as well. I think opening up a dialogue is such an easy thing to do but it makes such a big difference. Just make sure it’s a dialogue of love, not judgment.

All of this stuff sounds so obvious when I type it out in black and white. However, I’m the girl who, when asked what might happen if I tried to be more open with people, answered “the world will fall apart.” I was mostly joking but I was a little bit serious. So if you’re anything like me, I think it’s possible that you might need a reminder sometimes.

This is our reminder: we’re not perfect. We never will be. We can’t be. But that’s okay because who we are is better than perfection. And being open and honest and understanding makes a big difference. It makes more of a difference than we think it will.

Okay, that’s all. Love you guys! Peace and love! -Katherine

I just saw this ad playing before a youtube video and I had to stop and watch the whole thing. Incredible.

I can’t understand how anyone can be against people asking to be treated with justice. I can’t understand how anyone can be against people being treated like human beings. I don’t understand why we are still having to protest for these basic rights.

Bottom line is that a horrible crime was committed in broad daylight and we cannot be OK with it being dismissed. Michael Brown is not by any means the only one, it is the one that tested us beyond what we are capable of ignoring.