This Is The Guy Who, Ignoring The Opinions Of Others, Bee-lined Toward Those Whom His Culture Had Identified

May God break every weapon.

thank

How many? How much?

My friend is really smart. She also happens to have anorexia. She once said to me, “Anorexics aren’t supposed to be around numbers. The’re just tools humans use to destroy themselves.” As you can tell, the latter statement had a profound impact on me. That’s why I’m writing about it. Numbers define our lives. Our age, height, weight and BMI are measured in numbers. Our academic accomplishments and athletic accomplishments are measured in numbers. Our schedules revolve around the clock - also numbers. “How many calories?” “How many hours did it take?” “How many people were there?” “How much do you make?” “How many pages?” “How many words?” “How many points?” “How many goals? How many assists?” “How many years?” How many? How many? How many? I think that so often, we fall into the trap of thinking that these numbers that measure our bodies or measure the things that we do are also measuring us. And the problem with that is that once you start measuring, you find that you will never measure up. As soon as you put a numerical value on your identity you will find that there will always be someone who has a higher number, or lower number. Here’s the thing: you’re not a number. You’re thinking, “well obviously, Katherine.” But hear me out. You are not your weight. You are not your GPA. You are not the number of points you score or how much money you make. You’re a person. There is absolutely no conceivable way in the known universe, in the limitations of time as we know it, that numbers could logically be used to express a person. We can graph the curve of your face and we can create a function for the way you walk, but mathematically we will never capture you. You’re a person. You were created by God, in the image of God. As He is beautiful, so are you. As He is spirit, so are you. And you are His masterpiece. His piece de resistance. This all-powerful deity, who always was and always will be, who mapped the stars, who knitted the fabric of the universe, who choreographed the dance of the planets, who paints every single sunset, who filled the seas with fish and the skies with birds...He thinks that you are the best thing He made. [Talking about God gets me TURNT but I’ll leave the rest for another time.] He gave you a soul. Do you even know how exciting a soul is? A soul is intangible. It is infinite. It is the part of you that recognizes God’s face and it will last forever. It remembers the beginning of the world and it will see the end. It has the entire universe in it. It has ancient empires in it. It has lost civilizations in it. It has dead languages in it. It has unborn languages in it. It has novels in it. It has symphonies in it. Let me edit that last paragraph: You are intangible. You are infinite. You recognize God’s face and you will last forever. You remember the beginning of the world and you will see the end. You have the entire universe in you. You have ancient empires in you. You have lost civilizations in you. You have dead languages in you. You have unborn languages in you. You have novels in you. You have symphonies in you. Do you honestly believe that a being so majestic, so beautiful, so wonderful, can be MEASURED? The answer is absolutely not. You are immeasurable. There’s no scale or standard or system by which you can be counted. You are invaluable. Your worth is far beyond measure. Therefore, there are only two numbers you can use to describe yourself: 1. That’s how many of you there are. You are unique. You are one of a kind. You can’t be compared to others because you’re in your own category. ∞ ← That’s the infinity symbol. Admittedly, infinity, by its nature, is not a number. It’s mathematical concept. And that’s how valuable you are. This reminder has been brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Katherine. Love y’all! Peace and love! -Katherine

Societal Conditioning?  New Rant yayyyy!!!  Today I filmed like four rants and this is the first :) 

Does the Pentecostal church allow gay marriage ?

Hi there :) 

***[I know a simple yes or no would suffice, but this is gonna be another long answer. I have, as usual, bolded important sentences for those who would rather skim.]*** 

This is going to be difficult for me to tell you, but I’m afraid that the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada, with which the Pentecostal Assemblies of Newfoundland are affiliated - and therefore under which my own church exists - do not sanction gay marriage. Here is the “Statement of Fundamental and Essential Truths”. You will find homosexuality is addressed in section 5.9.1, “Marriage and the Family”. Here are a couple key quotes from that section:

"Marriage is a provision of God wherein one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others enter into a lifelong relationship through a marriage ceremony that is recognized by the church and legally sanctioned by the state."

…

"Marriage can only be broken by porneia, which is understood as marital unfaithfulness involving adultery, homosexuality, or incest. While the Scriptures give evidence that the marriage vow and "one-flesh" union are broken by such acts and therefore recognize the breaking of the marriage relationship, the Scriptures do recommend that the most desirable option would be reconciliation."

I imagine this is an affront to you, and I can understand why. I would like to justify the church’s stance, but I won’t. This decision is for two reasons: 

Firstly, because if what you want is for the Pentecostal church to allow gay marriage, then nothing I say will soothe your offended sensibilities. 

Secondly, because these practices apply only to members of the Pentecostal church: people who have actively chosen to participate in this institution, and whom evidently understand and are satisfied with the beliefs and practices. 

However, I will offer some of my own thoughts to supplement the information I’ve just given you.

[] 

Katherine’s thoughts: 

1. The Pentecostal church is part of the “private” sector, by which I mean that we are a non-profit organization and we are not affiliated with the government, be it federal, provincial, etc. Therefore, we do not attempt to extend our beliefs to anybody outside of our members. People who choose to become a member of the church (which, in case you’re wondering, is an official process involving an application and an interview) choose to abide by the practices set forth by the church, and that’s why those people chose to become a member in the first place. Therefore, the church will not corporately try to influence legislation involving gay marriage. How the church’s members vote is their individual decision, and in my experience, my church has never even discussed politics, let alone tried to influence my personal political beliefs. 

2. I am completely sure that while a person who is married to someone else of the same sex and/or gender may not choose to be a member of our church, NO ONE will discourage them from attending the services or benefiting from the various programs we offer. Being a member is a very official thing, and even though I’ve attended the church since birth, I’m still not a member. Membership involves stuff like voting for pastoral staff and board members and attending annual business meetings and boring stuff like that. So you could totally come on Sundays and chill with us and we won’t say anything to you. You could attend and volunteer and participate at Bethesda for 50 years and never be a member, so there’s that loophole. 

3. [THIS ONE IS SUPER IMPORTANT] Christianity is, above all, about a very personal, very intimate relationship with God. If you do not currently have an acquaintance with God, I would strongly encourage you to get to know Him. And if you want to, don’t let anybody or anything, including the church, including your sexual orientation, including the people in your life, dissuade you from doing so. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that there’s anything separating you from God, or that you have to change something about yourself before you get to know Him. He is waiting for you, exactly as you are, right here, right now, and He loves you exactly as you are, and nothing you do could ever make Him love you less….or more.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39

We as the church, are attempting to function as the “body” of Christ, that is to say, the mortal manifestation of His divine love here in the natural world. We are not God, and we cannot judge you or tell you what to do. Only He can do that. And if you have some questions about your lifestyle, I suggest you take it up with Him, not me. I don’t know anything. 

4. [This one is a little more complex and not quite fully formed so bear with me.] Pentecostals are what one might call “orthodox” Christians, which means that we believe firmly in the Bible as the complete and absolute truth. We cannot deny that the New Testament states that practicing homosexuality is not a lifestyle officially condoned by the Christian church. That’s why it’s part of the official Pentecostal statutes. As Christians, we must trust that God is a divine being infinitely more wise and more powerful than us, and that His word is truth, and that the Bible is the inspired word of God, due to its historical credibility, internal consistency and enduring influence. As such, we must trust that His plan for our lifestyle is a good one. If this is due singularly to the biology of His creation, and the fact that babies generally occur from heterosexual sex, then I guess I can see how that kinda makes sense. But in reality, I can’t actually see how anything makes any sense ever, because I’m a finite human (which is redundant, because there is no such thing as an infinite human, but I really wanted to drive the point home). I just go through life trusting in a higher power than myself (with good reasons to do so, I might add. Please see here). That means that I trust Him despite my personal opinions and despite what’s going on around me. This puts us in a rather difficult situation when it comes to formulating an opinion on homosexuality because I genuinely do think that it’s not a choice. 

5. For this reason, I have taken this as my official personal stance on homosexuality and Christianity: "Love is my ultimate answer to any question, because God is Love and Love is as close to the divine as you will get in this life. I adhere to two inalienable truths - God loves you and I love you. This love is unconditional, and has nothing to do with whether or not we agree on…anything, really. My purpose and goal in life is to show you that God loves you. I attempt to do this by loving you. And I really really want you to experience this radical, world-changing, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, paradigm-shifting love of God for yourself because it will literally change your life. And I believe that you can experience this love no matter what. No conditions apply. None. I will never tell you how to live your life, and if you have questions about your lifestyle, talk to God, not me." 

6. [Last one, finally!] Like I said, Christianity means a relationship with God, not belonging to a church. However, I strongly advocate for finding a group of believers to offer support and solidarity and encouragement in your faith. So I recommend finding a church where you feel safe and comfortable. If that’s not a Pentecostal church, that’s okay. But above all, I want you to know God. 

Okay all done! 

Thanks for your question :) As always, tip next time, 

Peace and love! -Katherine

How do you feel about the scandals that revolved around the Christian brothers (sexual assault towards youth) in Newfoundland and other similar scandals? Things like this have caused many to loose confidence with their faith, what are your thoughts on that?

Hey baby! (Don’t be weirded out, I use a various terms of endearment with all my friends and acquaintances) 

And ugh. I have a bunch of different thoughts on this topic. I’ve heard soooo many different opinions on this. I’ve heard of churches going door to door to collect donations to bail priests out of jail, priests who were incarcerated for sexual assault on a minor. Now, the reliability of these reports is dubious, at best. I honestly cannot formulate an opinion on that idea, or its truth. Now, in my own church, we had a scandal a couple years back. One of the pastors at my church was convicted of sexual deviancy, the likes of which is apparently a crime. Man, I dunno what happened. It was kind of a mess, tbh. Obviously, he lost his job at my church and I’m pretty sure with the PAONL in general. I also think they told him he could be re-ordinated if he took counselling and stuff. 

First up. Obviously, pastors/priests/reverends/whatever are people just like the rest of us. They’re gonna screw up. That’s a-given. But when they screw up in such a way that it hurts other people, we absolutely must acknowledge it. We must acknowledge the damage done, and we must take steps to show that we acknowledge it and to attempt to rectify it. I am sorry, but child pornography, and sexually assaulting young boys, or whatever, that’s straight-up awful. And I would be in 100% agreement with the church if they fired the people who committed these crimes. Any other company would. We don’t have to pretend like we’re perfect. It’s no secret that we’re really not. To preach sexual purity and selflessness and love for others and a straight moral path and then to defend those who CLEARLY violate these teachings is hypocritical, it’s not grace. Hate the sin. Love the sinner. But really, really hate the sin. Don’t defend it. Don’t excuse it. Don’t justify it. Hate it. 

On the other side of that, grace is a part of this too. Churches are full of hypocrites. That’s why we’re there. We as Christians do not think we’re perfect, rather we are acutely aware of our imperfection. We strive everyday to become more Christlike but it is a battle against our very nature and by default is possible only by the grace of God. We absolutely must forgive and accept the people who commit these heinous crimes, because that’s what God does.

I know it’s really hard for us to wrap our brains around, but all sin is equal to God. Lying is the same as murdering. Envy is the same as rape. It sounds ludicrous to us, because human morals have a measurement of severity, based on the effects the transgressions have on the people around us. God’s only measurement is “perfect” or “not perfect” and any sin, no matter how awful, or how trivial, is in the “not perfect” category. Romans 3:23 says “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” …”fallen short of the glory of God”. That’s what sin is. It literally means not being divine. Well if that’s the definition, then heck yeah everybody has sinned! 

So my point in saying that is that we need to forgive even the worst of humans, because we are just like them. I listened to this talk by Judah Smith about how we hate Barrabbas so much, the guy the jews told Pontias Pilate to free instead of Jesus. He was a murderer and they let him go free instead of Jesus! Like what the heck? Oh wait a minute…he’s me. Jesus bought his freedom just like he bought mine. We are all the same. We sin the same and God loves us the same. 

HOWEVER. All our actions have consequences. Forgiving someone and extending grace to them does not always mean that they will be exempt from the consequences of their actions. Losing your job and going to jail may be the consequences of your actions. So be it. That’s only fair, as far as fair goes on earth. 

And finally, people are gonna let you down. They’re going to shock, dismay, disappoint and hurt you. We are an imperfect being, plagued by mortality. But don’t give up on God. He’s the only one who will not disappoint you. I know His church screws up. I know some of His so-called “followers” are batcrap crazy. I know He gets a bad rep cause people misuse His label and they say one thing but do another. I know, I know, I know. I heard a comedian put it this way: “I like Elvis but I don’t like all his crazy fans.” This is why I think it’s so important for the church to be very careful about their reaction to scandals like this so that we demonstrate that we acknowledge the pain and the damage, we do not condone the behaviour, we apologize for it while still being gracious. It’s a very tricky situation. But at the end of the day, everyone’s relationship with God is their own business and their own responsibility. No one’s gonna take the credit or the blame for your eternity. My advice is to look past the stupid manmade institution called Religion. [Sidenote: I am a strong advocate of the church. I love the church. I think serving and being a part of a body of believers who will edify you in your faith is awesome.] Because God cannot be contained by a building or a group of people or a list of rules or even an idea in your head. 

God is bigger and greater than anything we’ve ever known or ever will know. He is the first, the last, the everything. He is in all and through all and nothing can be apart from Him. So don’t diminish Him to the church. Find out for yourself who He is. Read the Bible, spend time in prayer, don’t rely on secondhand information. Be a critical thinker and find out about God yourself. And find a church that you think exemplifies biblical values well and that you feel is good for you at this point in your life. 

That’s all I have to say :P 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love!-Katherine 

Many people have said to have spiritual enlightenment in the form of visions of Jesus or saints hearing God's voice etc. what do you think about such claims? Do you think the majority of the people who make these claims are embellishing the truth? Crazy? Or do you think God has come to them, and if so have you ever felt any jealously with regards to that?

Hey there! 

I grew up in a church and a religion that is saturated by belief in the Holy Spirit and His workings. I’m Pentecostal, and we don’t actually have saints, so I’ve never heard of someone who had a vision from a saint. However, we do belief in the nine gifts of the spirit described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 12 (which are separate from the fruits of the spirit, and from the baptism of the spirit): 1. Wisdom: understanding what to do in difficult situations, or receiving the solution to a seemingly unsolvable problem. 

2. Knowledge: spontaneously knowing a fact about someone or their life without ever having been told by a human. 

3. Faith: the supernatural ability to act on a belief that has not yet been tangibly validated.

4. Healing: self-explanatory. 

5. Miracles (aside from healing): anything that is divinely supernatural (meaning of God). 

6. Prophecy: foretelling the future, often in a very specific way. 

7. Discernment: that basically means calling bullshit on stuff that people say is of God, but that you know is probably of the devil. 

8. Tongues: the gift bestowed upon you when you first receive your baptism of the Holy Spirit; it’s a special “prayer” language which is unique to each believer and understood only by God. Prophecies or messages from God to the church often manifest themselves in tongues.

9. Interpretation (of tongues): When God gives someone a message for the church in tongues, he usually gives someone else the interpretation in english (or the default language of the church). 

I’ve also heard of plenty of visions, usually containing imagery that lines up the bible. The interaction of our brains with God is really really cool. For the most part, I don’t think these visions or prophecies or messages or whatever are lies or symptoms of psychosis. Granted, there have been and there are and there always will be people who know how to fake God’s presence with fancy words and a few psalms, but the work of the Spirit is genuine, supernatural and inimitable. You can usually tell when it’s a “God thing”. 

As for jealousy…I can’t say I’ve ever been jealous, per se. Being used for these gifts has everything to do with your availability. So if I’m not being used for these gifts, I know that it’s because I’m distracted, or afraid, or just shut down to being used. I’m a serious overthinker, and that usually gets in the way of me being sensitive to the Spirit. I know my shortcomings, so any negative emotions I might feel in association with the gifts is directed at myself, not others. 

Thanks for your question! :)Peace and love! -Katherine

i was wondering, since you'd been an atheist for a hot minute, have you lost any friends because of your later belief in god (or your studies, etc.)?

i'm struggling with this, because there's people in my life that i like, that i would even consider friends, but some of them have this deep hate for church and religions in general. (many of them are from poland and i feel like if you're from poland, you either support the church for the most part or you totally distance yourself from it, and i'm not on either side in this case).

and for me, i'm judgemental of the church too, especially the catholic church (i'm catholic), i'm a feminist, not racist, not homophobic, not transphobic. liberal. but i do attend mass and it does feel important to me. whenever this comes up however, i feel like i need to explain myself. that's why i try not to bring up the topic of religion and faith at all.

and i understand where they are coming from and why they would choose to turn away from the church completely, but it's not like i haven't spent hours and hours and hours thinking about what my beliefs are. like this is so big for me and i wish i could be more open about it, but i feel so misunderstood every time.

my only solution would be to find better friends :/ maybe you had a similar experience?

i lost or became distant from a number of friends when i began to explore my relationship to faith more earnestly- it put a lot of strain on my relationship with my partner at the time, and we eventually broke up for reasons that included but were not exclusive to religion. that was almost a decade ago and i've grown a lot: my friends now do i know what they're in for with me, and i'm lucky in how they encourage and support me and give me space to be in dialogue with them. one of my closest friends is an atheist, and we have great conversations about theism.

but i also know, and this is part of growing in my faith, that religion- especially christianity- is the source of a lot of pain for people. a lot of trauma, including for myself, and i try to remember that. if my faith is built on love, then i am here only to love people. sometimes loving them means setting my faith, as big and immersive as it is, aside so that i can better model what it is to them. it can be an opportunity to help them heal in the sense that without talking to them or immersing them in my own journey, i can show them through my actions what faith should be, mindful that their experiences are with systems that are repressive, painful, violent, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or abusive. some of my closest friends are people who have negative or no opinions about God and faith. part of what makes those relationships possible is that i recognize that i am privileged to have a healthy relationship to faith, that i have one at all, or that i was able to overcome my own religious trauma to a place of healing, where i could redevelop my assumptions from the ground up. that is a privilege and one that not everyone has the ability to take advantage of. to be religious is to be privileged, especially where christianity is the majority, since religion is practiced by the majority and often contributes negatively to systems of oppression (and this is partly why i have difficulty formally joining the church- my ability to take on religious privilege, as a christian in the christian west, only goes so far).

i do not believe in evangelism, but i do believe in lived faith, and weirdly in this way i have watched numerous people around me who previously had no interest in religion end up converting or reverting, or develop more unconventional relationship to something they'd lost through abuse or mistrust- sometimes they've directly attributed that to their relationship with me, and sometimes its more passive, maybe it has nothing to do with me at all. but i like to think that i was able to be something for them. when we talk about self-emptying in faith, when we talk about making room for God in ourselves and our lives, i think this is often what it means. people do not owe us understanding for our relationship with God. but if we are close to God, if we love him, we owe him our emptiness so that we can reflect his light to others, in the way that they can understand, that has nothing to do with ourselves. and if we lose people in that process, it isn't us they're rejecting, and it isn't God either. they're just not meant to encounter the light through us. and it is har to lose people like that, but it also makes space for people who will see the light of God reflected in us and recognize that it makes sense to them.

i hope this makes sense and helps you in your path: ultimately yes, faith is contentious, and not without reason. but i always try to be respectful of people's misgivings about faith, i don't bring it where it's not wanted, and i trust that God will bring me to places where it is wanted and more importantly, needed. such is faith.

God is calling YOU.

I decided today that I resent the phrase “full-time ministry” when referring to pastors. ”Full-time” ministry, as opposed to everybody else who’s only part-time? I believe that EVERYBODY’S ministry should be full-time. I believe that witnessing and outreach should be a way of life, not a job.  I have many friends who want to be pastors or did want to at some point (the official count is up to six at the moment.) And sometimes I think that people feel like if you’re a Christian, the only job God can call you to is to be a pastor or a missionary - like those are the only “Holy” jobs. Like you HAVE to do one or the other to truly be a good Christian. Because, for a long time, when my very best friend was absolutely 100% certain of God’s calling on her life to become a children’s pastor, I felt like I didn’t have a calling on my life. I think I know what it is now. :)

I want to put it out there that God calls all types. I believe I have friends who are called into social work. God calls doctors and nurses. God calls business men. God DEFINITELY called my mom to be a teacher. She says she knows that teaching is where she is supposed to be, with junior high kids who are messed and lost and just need love and guidance. I know people who have a heart for kids and want to love on them so they’re going into social work to help children have better lives. And I want to be a pediatrician, because I love children and I want to help people.

God gave you talents and interests and skills and passions for a reason! And whatever He calls you to do, it’ll probably line up with whatever He’s already equipped you to do well. He might call you to be a stay-at-home mom, or a lawyer or a plumber!