Clarke Griffin Really Is The Character Ever. She Pulls A Lot Of Levers. Only One Person She's Slept With

this lyric from clean is so jean coded :(

Here is my somewhat balls to the walls insane TSC2 bingo card. It was somewhat normal until I put my biggest conspiracy on there and let’s just say if I’m right, if Elodie isn’t dead, no one will hear the end of it

uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)

neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.

my favourite thing about the perfect court is how they are all parallels of each other - each person could have ended up like one of the others, but they didn’t.

neil could’ve ended up like jean, if his mother hadn’t taken him and run. neil could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d internalised his father’s abuse and tried to earn his affection instead of fearing it. if he’d tried to become someone his father would be proud of - like riko does - he would’ve become heartlessly violent. but he doesn’t.

jean could’ve been like neil, if he’d had just one family member care about him enough to run. he could’ve ended up like kevin, if he’d gone with him when kevin ran. he could’ve been like riko, if he’d taken everything that had been done to him and inflicted it on the world/people around him, but he doesn’t.

kevin could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d twisted tetsuji’s abuse enough to believe that the things he deserved were taken from him. he could’ve ended up like jean, if he’d refused to run after his hand was broken.

riko could’ve ended up like any of them. if an adult had cared about him enough to save him, he could’ve ended up like neil. if he’d hated his father instead of fighting for his attention, or if he internalised the abuse he faced instead of inflicting the same abuse on others, he’d have been more like jean or neil. if he’d accepted his place and decided to fight for the things he did have - exy, kevin - he’d have been more like kevin. but he doesn’t.

yes, their situations are largely shaped by the people around them - riko, jean, and kevin (until he learns about wymack) do not have an adult in their lives that cares about them enough to change their situation. but it’s also their individual responses to their abuse that shapes how they act. i’m not trying to say that people get to choose their trauma response, but it’s important that riko and neil parallel each other because we’re shown the could have beens. it shows you that it really only takes one person to change everything - mary taking neil and running is so so so important for how neil’s character and personality and trauma response turns out.

neil could’ve ended up like riko, but he doesn’t. riko could’ve ended up like neil, but he doesn’t.

- I’m not the child you once knew.

- No. That child would see you and run.

Small fandoms are great because I'm convinced if I logged in after the nuclear apocalypse, the same 5 fuckers would still be online, posting their headcanons, now slightly more radiated.

biblically accurate Neil and Andrew Instagram profiles

me after finishing a book

Going to be thinking about this for years