God Didn’t Make Me A Man Bc He Knew That If I Was One I’d Be A Male Manipulator Performative Clairo

SPRING BREAK ENDS TOMORROW NOOO DONT SEND ME BACK PLEASE 💔💔 this is so mean :( 38 more days of junior year…gulp

i hope the girl who posted the “never mix your beautiful snow with dirt” tiktok gets bludgeoned to death with rocks

AUSHSHSHSHSH CRYING MYSELD TO SLEEP AGAINS WHATS NEW WHATS NEW HAHSHSHDH I LOVE MY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS YAYYY

first post aha kiiinda nervous >_<

anyways back to regularly scheduled alan schemes glad to finally have a blog that isn’t absurdly mentally ill :3

how it feels to be the only slightly alt one at the family function

happiness - alan’s answers

long winded ramble abt how I PERSONALLY started getting better and becoming happier overall

i was so focused on my sadness and negative emotions that they consumed me, became all that i was. i was dead set on romanticizing it. collecting negative pins on pinterest, interacting with negative blogs on here, wallowing and forcing myself to ensure that not a day went by that i wasn’t feeling horrible. i was stuck in this idea that without my sadness, i was boring and lacked a worthwhile personality. but that’s just not true. life is about perspective, a lot of the time. nothing about my external situation has changed. but my mindset has, which is why i am so happy and content now. i wake up and play happy music instead of sad. i purposefully do things that i know will benefit me instead of digging myself deeper into a hole. getting better isn’t something that’s just handed to you, you have to choose it and work at it. i deleted every pro-negative emotion thing on my phone. i filtered my social media so none of the content i used to interact with shows up. if you reach out to happiness, it will reach back. i started learning to love myself because i am the only one who knows how wonderful i am. other people’s opinion of you becomes inconsequential when you are sound in yourself. reframing your viewpoint on the world is the cure. it’s a work in progress but it genuinely works. i stopped looking at life like it had a set deadline and instead started living life like i matter, because i do. if you go into a day pursuing joy it’s likely you’ll find it. also, before i used to be so focused on the big picture, seeing every situation as black and white. but it’s not like that. each day has so many little things to look forward to and you can be the joy you so desperately want to see in the world. compliment someone’s outfit! wave at the sun!! do whatever it is that you know will support your healing. it’s not linear and it never will be, but romanticizing my horrible traits gets me nowhere. why would i stay stuck in my ways when i can choose to improve? it’s a simple answer for me, i’ll choose my wellbeing in every situation nowadays

greek yogurt and diet coke at 1am with the intent to pull an all nighter…this is equivalent 2 an orgasm i tgink like FUCK mango chobani 🤤

i hate men why did this obnoxious ass no sense of personal space idiot motherfucker decide to sit next to me on the bus. stop touching me i hate you and want you dead. this is a ONE person seat holy shit get run over

forced to say 'it's okay' instead of throwing a chair at them

there is something so sinister abt snapchat everybody who uses it is under a spell and i cannot bring myself to download it no matter how much my friends ask