Sometimes, I Don't Want To Heal. Healing Almost Feels Like A Betrayal To Myself. I Know What They've

Sometimes, I don't want to heal. Healing almost feels like a betrayal to myself. I know what they've done, and the damage will never be fully healed. It almost scares me to think that I might forget or become numb to it. As long as the wounds stay open, and I still feel the burning pain, it's real. I can't trick myself into thinking it's not.

There are other times when I don't want to heal because people might not believe me. I've already plenty who don't, but it would be so much worse if someone saw evidence of my trauma but didn't believe me because the rest of my personality and coping mechanisms seem normal. If I stay broken, the smaller cracks are less noticable, and they're easier to explain. Obviously, a shattered window is going to have both big and small cracks and might even be missing some pieces.

Sometimes healing just doesn't seem worth it because I feel like my life should be perfect once I'm past that point. People have it worse, and the worst is behind me, so I have no right to be this way.

I don't know. I'm not sure I want to heal

More Posts from Deathtoyouandtoyours and Others

3 years ago

Special Interest Blabbering?

What do you do when you want to just talk for hours and hours about a special interest and no one wants to listen? Like you just want to sit them down and tell them every little thing about it, but the clearly don’t care and would get annoyed quickly. What do you do?


Tags
deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog
deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog
deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog
We have started a fundraiser to evacuate Karam from Gaza so that he can receive the medical care and treatment that he most urgently needs if he is to continue to live. To this end, we have provided multiple and secure ways for you to make donations.https://t.co/qvBfagSEyV…

— Tamer Hamam (@tamerhamam_) February 16, 2024
Support To Evacuate My Friend’s Family From Gaza, organized by Bassem Elsayed
gofundme.com
I am organizing this fundraiser on behalf of my friend Tamer, and his … Bassem Elsayed needs your support for Support To Evacuate My Friend’
10 months ago

"(blank) hates laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

shuro is just as awkward as laios and it is made So clear he considers him a friend and likes him. he defends him when the canaries start talking shit and actively readies himself to physically fight them so they dont get to him.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

namari also likes laios. she respects him as a leader and also defends him and readies to fight the canaries.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

ive not actually seen anyone claim izutsumi hates laios, but a lot of ppl Are weird abt them. izutsumi and laios' relationship was rocky at the beginning. he struggled to figure out how to interact with her. but by the end, she actively seeks him out to talk with during the lead up to the feast. she hides behind him when falin wakes up. she has already realized shecan do what she wants and does not need to stick around, yet she does. she sleeps near him on the windowsill, waiting with him and marcille for falin to wake up. she has accepted him as part of her life and wants to keep him in it.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

marcille does not hate laios. let me say this again.

Marcille Donato Does Not Hate Laios Touden.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

marcille Loves him. in a platonic, familial sense. laios returns this just as readily. she yells at him. she whacks him. she tells him whats on her mind. she uses healing magic to ease his pain during the parasite fiasco. she reattaches his leg when he loses it. she teaches him magic. she lays her head on his corpse and cries before reviving him. she launches herself at him two times, when the canaries interrogate them and when he talks her down in the tower. he is a comforting presence to her. she trusts him, she cares about him, she worries about him, she imagines him as a big fluffy dog that loves and protects her. laios is her rock when falin is taken from them time and time again. and she tries to be his as well. she whole-heartedly, unconditionally, loves and trusts laios.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP
"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

chilchuck does not hate laios. laios pays him his rates, no questions asked. laios trusts and respects chilchuck's job as a lockpick. laios does not see him as a child (at least, i cant think of an instance where he does so). chilchuck states, outright, he sees him as a friend and doesnt want to see him hurt. he actively worries about him as the falin situation gets worse. chilchuck respects laios. he shows almost 0 hesitation in helping get falin back, nor eating her by the end. he does not think of leaving him once, until he realizes he could lose him. chilchuck is cowardly with emotions and prefers to bottle things, so his first instinct was to bolt. he was angry because he was scared of watching someone he cares about destroy himself. laios is his Friend.

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

and holy shit. holy Fucking shit. kabru DOES NOT hate laios. kabru has the rockiest start known to man with him, and he Still helps him by occupying the canaries. he warns him about them. he hides the black magic from them just as shuro does. his whole Thing is trusting laios despite himself. kabru has his own baggage regarding other people, just like laios, yet he tries so hard to believe and trust this man. he Wants to. kabru is not very hopeful, but laios makes him Want to be. he states like 3 times he wants to be close to him and sees him as a friend. he stays through the entire feast!! the man who hates monsters, whose biggest trigger is monsters, actively, consciously, Willingly stayed through the entire monster meat feast. all to help his friend get his sister back. he could've left!! the feast was like an entire week!! yet he was there for every single day. he was one of the closest people to the door when falin awoke!! after reuniting with her brother, her friends, the people who knew her the most (plus senshi and izutsumi), the first person she greets is kabru!! he wants to be close to laios, he likes laios, laios is his friend and he cares for him, he wants to meet his sister!!! kabru fucking stays on the island with him as one of his closest, most trusted advisors when he becomes king!!!!! he wants to help him succeed!!!! he wants him to be happy!!!! laios is his friend!!!!!!!!

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

im just. people like laios!! laios is a nice guy! he is friendly and cares about people! he is weird, he doesn't understand most social cues, he oversteps boundaries, but they stay beside him, because they like him and he is their friend. he is their friend!!!!! friendship is not all sunshine and rainbows, relationships in general are not sunshine and rainbows. you will upset people, people will upset you, you will get into arguments, things will happen, but at the end of the day, the people close to you like you! they love you! they care for you! they want to work it out and get through it because they love you, but they will feel those emotions first! human relationships are complex and messy and life is complicated. even shows for toddlers know this.

if you truly believe any of these characters hate laios you are worse than a toddler. watch some fucking oobi or something. god. fuck.

take this

"(blank) Hates Laios!" WRONG WRONG WRONG. SHUT THE FUCK UP

thanks


Tags
9 months ago

Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won’t radicalize you into a hate group

Homemaking, Gardening, And Self-sufficiency Resources That Won’t Radicalize You Into A Hate Group

It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that’s generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.

Unfortunately, these “self-sufficiency” skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the “good old days,” a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.

In the spirit of building safe communities, here’s a complete list of the safe resources I’ve found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.

Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:

Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)

Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)

How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)

Gardening

Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)

Country/Rural Living:

Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it’s like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)

“Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy” by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)

Sewing/Mending:

Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)

Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)

Sustainability/Land Stewardship

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs – in this case, indigenous American beliefs – can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)

Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)

Avoiding the “Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline”

Note: the “crunchy to alt-right pipeline” is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use “crunchy” spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.

“The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline” by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)

Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it’s a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)

These are just the resources I’ve personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!


Tags
5 months ago
Full Thread
Full Thread
Full Thread
Full Thread
Full Thread
Full Thread
Full Thread

full thread

how to disarm Boston Dynamics drone dog


Tags
11 months ago
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth
Original Comic By Rasenth

Original comic by Rasenth

3 months ago

This post is just like those "How to Study like a Harvard Student!" Things but for ND people with executive dysfunction who can't even START studying.

Listen to Music, seriously it works so well. If you speak multiple languages, listen to music in the one you ARE NOT using. Listening to music w/o words is good for things like essays and reading, but with things like math, I 100% recommend listening to anything you really like. I can leave song reccs for no word songs if anyone wants them.

Put on a movie, TV show, or video you've already seen a million times. It works the same as the music, but you're more likely to be distracted. It's important that you've already seen it. Otherwise, you'll just end up watching TV.

Buy stationary that you LIKE and ENJOY USING. If you see pens that you REALLY LIKE but the other pens are cheaper, get the ones you actually like. You will use them more. You will *enjoy* using them.

Not so much related to executive dysfunction, but I HIGHLY recommend getting folders for your classes. Even if it's only for a few, if you pull it out at the beginning, you'll have all your stuff inside and a place where you can put your papers instead of just shoving it into your bag.

Let yourself stim out loud while you do homework. Seriously, it can help you remember things and help you stay focused.

Eat your favourite snacks or drink something you enjoy drinking. It makes doing things so much more bearable, plus free dopamine.

(Edit: I reblogged some of people's additional thoughts)

I can't really think of anything else, but feel free to add stuff in the comments.

Disclaimer for the masses, I am not a doctor. These are from my own personal experience as someone w audhd. :)


Tags
(taken From @/sarahofmagdalene On Instagram.)
(taken From @/sarahofmagdalene On Instagram.)

(taken from @/sarahofmagdalene on instagram.)

A NOTE TO THOSE WHO MAY BE PARTICIPATING IN PRO PALESTINE ACTIONS IN VANCOUVER.

Please, even if you don’t live in Vancouver, reblog to spread awareness. The canadian media isn’t covering the protests, let alone the hostility protesters face, so we can only rely on each other to get news like this around!

11 months ago
I Made Tumblr Pride Flags! Feel Free To Ask Or More Edits
I Made Tumblr Pride Flags! Feel Free To Ask Or More Edits
I Made Tumblr Pride Flags! Feel Free To Ask Or More Edits

i made tumblr pride flags! feel free to ask or more edits

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • starkissedleafeon
    starkissedleafeon liked this · 1 month ago
  • abigor567
    abigor567 liked this · 1 month ago
  • savioursailor
    savioursailor liked this · 2 months ago
  • ftmtartaglia
    ftmtartaglia liked this · 2 months ago
  • r0ckst-4r
    r0ckst-4r liked this · 2 months ago
  • sunovermordor
    sunovermordor liked this · 3 months ago
  • therealmaddieee
    therealmaddieee liked this · 3 months ago
  • mequieromatar-bodoque
    mequieromatar-bodoque reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • lemon-boys-blog
    lemon-boys-blog liked this · 4 months ago
  • babyinthebasement
    babyinthebasement liked this · 4 months ago
  • hallroot
    hallroot liked this · 4 months ago
  • ineedrootsbeforebranches
    ineedrootsbeforebranches liked this · 6 months ago
  • itsmissnancy
    itsmissnancy liked this · 6 months ago
  • honeypoppers
    honeypoppers liked this · 6 months ago
  • magimthings
    magimthings liked this · 6 months ago
  • theunfocusedbrat
    theunfocusedbrat liked this · 6 months ago
  • beepir
    beepir liked this · 6 months ago
  • i-am-meant-for-the-platter-too
    i-am-meant-for-the-platter-too reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • amythefangirlsfangirl
    amythefangirlsfangirl liked this · 6 months ago
  • strandsofmelody
    strandsofmelody liked this · 7 months ago
  • pieisbestdessert
    pieisbestdessert liked this · 7 months ago
  • bingnivore
    bingnivore liked this · 7 months ago
  • goblinngay
    goblinngay liked this · 7 months ago
  • kelliagoriende
    kelliagoriende reblogged this · 8 months ago
  • kelliagoriende
    kelliagoriende liked this · 8 months ago
  • ironenemyflower
    ironenemyflower liked this · 8 months ago
  • voidthecryptid
    voidthecryptid liked this · 8 months ago
  • love-laugh-daydreamarevolt
    love-laugh-daydreamarevolt liked this · 8 months ago
  • moonynights
    moonynights liked this · 8 months ago
  • necroticblue
    necroticblue reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • a-system-of-nerds
    a-system-of-nerds liked this · 10 months ago
  • m3tanoia3
    m3tanoia3 liked this · 10 months ago
  • hatsheep
    hatsheep reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • hatsheep
    hatsheep liked this · 10 months ago
  • socks-n-stickers
    socks-n-stickers liked this · 10 months ago
  • missgei1
    missgei1 liked this · 11 months ago
  • getreckbbg
    getreckbbg liked this · 11 months ago
  • phantumpenis
    phantumpenis liked this · 11 months ago
  • d0n0tm1ndm3
    d0n0tm1ndm3 liked this · 11 months ago
  • baek-seju
    baek-seju reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • baek-seju
    baek-seju liked this · 1 year ago
  • roguexeven
    roguexeven liked this · 1 year ago
  • opaline-gemme
    opaline-gemme liked this · 1 year ago
  • gahbeemovie
    gahbeemovie liked this · 1 year ago
  • itsrorotime
    itsrorotime liked this · 1 year ago
  • theangelofcreation
    theangelofcreation liked this · 1 year ago
deathtoyouandtoyours - Get Off My Blog
Get Off My Blog

Venting and some other shit I guess he/him 22

290 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags