Girlhood,

literally have them in 24/7

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

girls don’t want boyfriends, girls want their fatal flaw, a morbid longing for the picturesque, to cause them to snap because “what could be more terrifying and beautiful to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely?”

✮⋆˙

Turning 17 was hard enough already!

I refuse to turn older than 17

Girlhood 🎀🐰🤍

Girl activities

biting your nails

wondering how many bodies are hidden in your hometowns hills and forests

laying naked in bed tracing your scars

daydreaming about your future

pretending to look mysterious and read in front of your cafe crush

wondering what you would look like 50 lbs lighter than trying to decide if you want to relapse or not

brushing your hair with vintage silver hair brushes than wondering who all the women were who brushed their hair with it before you

writing poetry at 4 am

falling in love with your best friend

cleaning your room on a sunday

picking at your skin in the mirror till your whole face is red and swollen

daydreaming about bleaching your hair

cuddling your dog

remembering your dreams while sitting on the shower floor

watching movies, reading books, and watching shows, pondering the stories and characters and fantisizing about your life being like those stories

I have an english exam tomorrow.. Does reading english Hyun ju x reader smut fanfictions cout as studying?

a sad girl's guide to summer

if you can't get rid of it, you might as well romanticise it, right?

lying awake on hot summer nights and listening to a sad girl playlist

sitting by the ocean or lake while looking melancholic

collecting sea shells and other little trinkets to look at

reading ancient philosophy and russian literature in public

strolling around your neighbourhood and befriending stray cats

eating way too much fruit

thinking about the fig tree

watching the moon and staying up until sunrise

mourning your non-existent summer romance

wired headphones

getting really good at making iced coffees

watching sad summer movies

writing poetry on postcards that you will never send

taking lots of Polaroids of mundane things

crying

I myself have been dealing with what I like to call "the summer blues" so I felt like writing something like this, I hope it resonates with some of you!! As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3

love ya ･:*₊‧✩