I'm Still Trying To Wrap My Mind Around Men At Arms.

1. Any calls you are seeing for a #DemExit2020 over Sanders losing are likely being amplified by Russian actors; remember, they want Trump in office and the US in disarray. They're all about dividing us and keeping us at each other's throats.

2. Biden, while scum, will be FAR easier to shove left than Trump, *especially* if we retake the Senate (or did you forget about downticket races...?) *We have a chance to get rid of Mitch McConnell this year*, but that only happens if you vote.

3. This is about harm reduction. Is Biden scum? Yes. Will he do far, far, FAR less damage than Trump? *YES*. This isn't just about the Presidency, it's about the Nazi troglodytes in the Cabinet. It's about keeping another anti-abortion justice out of the Supreme Court (and letting poor RBG rest).

4. Primary wise, we aren't out of the woods yet, go vote anyway, and remember your downticket races. If you are Sanders or were Warren, you have chances at putting in super leftists locally and into the Senate. Take them. Remember: Congress going blue in 2018 has made a HUGE difference in harm reduction. Remember the power AOC and Ilhan Omar have wielded, and now imagine what they could do with a democratic Senate. (Imagine Senate Majority Leader Elizabeth Warren!)

5. Did I mention downticket races? I'll say it again. The *Senate* chooses to convict on an Impeachment. If we had a Democratic Senate, Trump would be *gone*.

(In case anyone accuses me of being a Biden stan, I am a long time Sanders supporter who also thinks Elizabeth Warren is cool & likes them both a lot. I think Biden sucks, but he's not *actively* trying to get me or my loved ones killed. Trump *is*.)

4 comrades go to a Soviet hotel for a night during a business trip...

As they walk into their room, 3 of them, whip out some vodka, food and cigarettes and begin to make jokes about the government and be very loud indeed. The 4th one is trying to get some meaningful sleep and knowing that it would be fruitless to ask them to stop, hatches an ingenious plan. He goes downstairs to reception and asks for a cup of coffee to be delivered to the room.

“Make sure you deliver it exactly after 10 minutes starting from now”

Returning back to the room he joins his comrades midway a Stalin joke. He sits up shocked and exclaims:

“Comrades! You must not say these things! Don’t you know? They are listening to our conversations right now!”

The comrades jeer and laugh at him and say that that is impossible.

“Really? Then how do you explain this?”

He gets up and speaks into the lampshade by the beds.

“I would like a black coffee to be delivered to my room, please.”

And surely enough, in a short amount of time, a maid walks in with a cup of coffee and some sugar.

The other 3 comrades turn deathly pale and quickly turn in for the night. The last comrade drinks his coffee and peacefully goes to sleep.

Come morning the 4th comrade awakens only to find that his friends and all their belongings are missing.

Throughly confused and anxious, the man walks down the stairs to reception to enquire whether his friends had checked out earlier in the morning.

“I am afraid not sir. You see, the KGB raided your room during the night and placed your friends under arrest for ridiculing the Soviet regime.”

“B-but how come they didn’t take me?!”

“Oh, the Captain very much enjoyed your joke”

When The End comes for real, it’s just as Crowley supposed, with Heaven and Hell united against humanity.  There are a lot of people who don’t believe what’s happening, but about half earth’s inhabitants do.  And they show up for the fight.  

The army humans have guns, there are doctors wielding baseball bats and taxi drivers with tire irons.  Masses of youths are forming up with nothing but broken bottles and spite to defend themselves with.  

Lucifer scoffs at them, his beauty already luring some people from their posts.  

Not too many of them, though.  Aziraphale has to believe that…

There may be millions of angels and demons among the ranks, united for a common goal, but there are billions of humans.

Crowley and Aziraphale are in the thick of it, of course.  Of course.  Aziraphale has come into the possession of his flaming sword again, through a series of events that Crowley really doesn’t want to think too hard about.  

They stare down the Morning Star across the open expanse of the soon to be battlefield, humanity behind them, as much of it sheltered beneath their wings as they can manage.  

And then the Heavenly forces begin to sing.  

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The more I think about it the more I realise that no ancient civilization would be at all interested in taming dragons.

Dragons are carnivores, so they’re really inefficient and costly to feed. They’re solitary, so its really frigging hard to form any kind of relationship with them. They’re darn right dangerous, so why risk your life taming one when there’s loads of llamas in the world. And worst of all their life spans are insanely long; if you had an opportunity to breed one, you wouldn’t live long enough to see the fruit of your labour mature, so you wouldn’t even bother.

They also teach you not to give off serial killer vibes and he didn't listen to that either

lmao

Trump is going to get re-elected.

Get comfortable saying it. Get comfortable hearing it and thinking it. Because if we don’t collectively get our fucking shit together, it’s gonna happen.

It’s gonna happen because his supporters still love him. It’s gonna happen because even people who don’t love him are thinking to themselves, “well this hasn’t been so bad, the economy is good, we didn’t actually go to war, that’s way better than taking a chance on some newfangled progressive.”

Nevermind the fact that the stock market takes a plunge almost every time Trump does something crazy and the economy is doing well due to Obama-era policies.

It’s gonna happen because I’m already seeing “I wanna take my toys and go home” rhetoric among Democrats who don’t want to vote for anyone who isn’t their fave.

I’m exasperated and tired and stressed and I should not have read the comments on a WaPo article, I know, I get it, but people — kids at the border. The Supreme Court. The stacking of the lower courts. The complete inaction on climate change. The uninformed “stick first, think later” approach to foreign policy. Even if you’re privileged or ignorant enough to sit there and think that none of this has touched your life, that doesn’t mean it won’t. Reading some of the things people are saying about the state of politics in the US has me feeling like I’ve taken crazy pills over here.

Do I have a favorite in the primary? Sure. Does it matter if she doesn’t win the nomination? No. I’ll go to the fucking bat for Joe Biden if I have to because people’s lives are more important than my ego or my principles. I don’t know how else to put that.

Other people’s lives are more important than your ego or your principles. That’s it. That’s the whole fucking thing and I don’t understand how no one has learned their goddamn lesson about this.

Personally, I don’t really see anything wrong with giving Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. What else was Obi-Wan gonna do? (He pretty much raised Anakin and look how that turned out, he’s not gonna risk Round 2.) (He could have given both kiddos to Bail and Breha Organa, actually. Luke and Leia Organa is a cool as heck AU.)

I like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. As much as people like to say Luke really is Padme’s son, he didn’t get those morals from her. (Keeping in mind I have read no comics or novelizations, and not seen the Clone Wars TV show) It’s pretty clear that Luke’s iron spine and goodness and refusal to abandon his friends come from his upbringing. Owen and Beru Lars are kinda the Ma and Pa Kent of the Star Wars universe. 

And they are Luke’s family. Owen is Shmi’s stepson. Owen and Beru probably knew Anakin’s mother for years. It’s a neat circle, and in some ways it has the feelings of an apology, for Obi-Wan to bring Luke back to his family on Tatooine in the same way that Qui-Gon took Anakin. Obi-Wan can’t undo what’s been done, and he can’t start over, but he can give Luke what the Jedi denied Anakin: a loving family and normal upbringing. 

Tatooine is Darth Vader’s home planet? Yeah, sure, but did Anakin ever go back to Tatooine? (Probably once or twice, I’m guessing, in the comics at least.) Darth Vader hates that place. Bad memories. Damn sand would fuck up his suit. He’d burn it all down and then the Hutts are gonna be pissed. And how many people actually know that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker? Like, about five? (Bail, Obi-Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, and Ahsoka?) Dude is not exactly getting invites to school reunions and the weddings of childhood friends, is all I’m saying. 

Even if Darth Vader ever went back to Tatooine, Tatooine is a big place. The Lars Farm is in the middle of nowhere and Obi-Wan is hanging out left of the funky rock five miles past nowhere. Anakin met his stepbrother once in the entire film trilogy and idk if they even exchanged words, much less space e-mail addresses. I kind of doubt that Uncle Owen and Darth Vader are sending each other Life Day e-cards. (That’s really funny, actually.) 

Anyway, the point of this rant is that I want you to imagine new parents Owen and Beru Lars caring for toddler Luke, it’s just after Life Day, and someone rings the doorbell. Owen Lars opens up to Darth Vader holding a fruit basket, because he didn’t know what else to do for Life Day and spontaneously decided to visit distant family rather than mope in his Evil Castle again. 

(Everything Obi-Wan hoped would never happen, just… happening.)

Owen, after introductions, panicking, “Uh… the suit is… new.” 

He has to invite Vader in, because it’s Life Day and how exactly do you tell Darth Vader to fuck off? Then Owen and Beru have a hushed argument in the kitchen while Darth Vader is sitting awkwardly in their living room with a drink that he can’t actually drink but took to be polite. When they come out, they introduce Luke as Luke Whitesun, Beru’s late brother’s kid, which they guess makes Luke… Darth Vader’s… nephew. (They can’t hide him, Vader’s already seen this 2-3 yr old Luke and the house is COVERED in baby and kid stuff.) 

And Darth Vader just… fucking falls for it. 

And the Lars family has to spend the holidays with Uncle Darth Vader who is super keen to have a step-nephew-in-law. Beru is showing off her cross-stitching to Darth fucking Vader as Luke plays at their feet. Owen is in the kitchen sending a desperate space text to Obi-Wan, who basically has a heart attack on the spot when Owen sends a shitty stealth-pic of Darth Vader on their couch. 

Bonus points if the Lars’ don’t even move after this, because Vader left without issue and Uncle Owen afterwards was like, “It turned out fine. I don’t want to move, that’s too much hassle.” So, every major holiday, Luke gets a visit from his Uncle Darth Vader, which works out fine so long as they instigate a “Don’t Talk About Politics” rule when Luke starts getting excited about Rebellions and starts bad-mouthing the Empire (Vader making small talk at a Star Destroyer water cooler to his terrified staff: “Ugh, I’m going to have to debate my liberal 13-yr-old nephew at the dinner table again.”), and Vader even helps with the dishes and stuff, and every time Obi-Wan ages an extra year from stress. 

Before January ends, I’m going to magically and extremely be blessed by the universe.

The U.S. Midterms are Tomorrow, November 8, 2022

If you're eligible to vote in the midterms already and haven't yet, make a plan for how to go vote tomorrow.

Know your polling place and when it opens and closes. Know the rules in your state and at your job about taking off from work to vote. Be prepared to wait in line.

And then go vote!

it’s been said before, of course, but i just love the scene at the end of guards! guards! where the men are offered a reward, and it’s just… vimes hadn’t even considered it, and as to the others – well, vetinari calls it a petty wage increase and a domestic utensil. and a dart board. a hogswatch present, basically, and a yearly raise.

the sort of thing you get for being a decent employee of a boss who vaguely appreciates you: five extra dollars a month, and a dart board. oh, and we’ll replace the lost kettle.

vetinari expected them to ask for a reward that matched the heroism of their deeds, and was completely taken-aback by the pettiness of their request, but that’s the point: they did ask for a reward that matched, to them, the heroism of their deeds. because they weren’t Heroes. they were just some guards who thought it was wrong that a fine lady was going to be sacrificed. who believed that the city wouldn’t stand for feeding one of their own to a dragon. who, when left without supervision or leadership, said well we might as well try and got on top of a distillery to shoot an arrow in a million-to-one chance that maybe they could do something about it.

and a lot of that is carrot’s inspiration, but it’s also worth noting that colon and nobby are repeatedly shown to be the quintessential men of the street. in later books, vimes asks them how they feel and what they think to get an idea of how the city is reacting to the events at-hand, because they represent the common people of ankh-morpork. 

and these two common people, out of shape and cowardly and bumbling, just a couple of guys – when the new recruit says it didn’t ought to be like this, and says, what are we gonna do next?

these two common people say, well what the hell, let’s give it a try. the city, the people, with no one left on their side but themselves and the dragon crowned triumphant, look to one another and decide to try.

and to them, that isn’t heroism, because it’s… just common. they’re just people. they’re just doing what people do.