Just Finished Listening To Guards! Guards! Again And The Scene With The Watch Asking For Compensation

Having read Dracula all the way through now, every adaptation of the story that puts Mina and Dracula together and frames them as being in love makes me physically ill.

Dracula didn’t love Mina. He assaulted and violated her after doing the same thing to her best friend. She was an object to be coveted and nothing more. How anyone can read that and see a love story baffles and infuriates me.

Jonathan and Mina loved each other. They were willing to condemn themselves to hell just so that the other wouldn’t be alone there. Both of their characters get gutted in so many adaptions to make way for sexy vampire shit, it’s infuriating. Making Mina be in love with her assaulter is fucking rage-inducing.

Gimme an adaptation where Mina loathes this pestilential demon with every fiber of her being. Where she’s just as driven to stamp out this stain upon the world as her husband is. He murdered her friend. He violated her body and soul. He mentally tortured and traumatized her husband. Gimme a Mina with all the fury of Hell behind her.

#

ALT

ours is the holiest love.

so um. about that promise jonathan made??

This is the Baby Money Yoda, reblog in the next 60 seconds of seeing this to receive a blessing from our green bean prince.

on september 11th 2001, two planes crashed into the world trade centre in new york city. It was a massacre. 3000 dead in a matter of 24 hours. the entire world was in shock of the atrocity, the brutal, diabolical murder of scores of innocents. 

the american government reacted accordingly. a full investigation was launched to hold the culprits responsible – what nation could have sanctioned such a brutal attack on so many innocents? what kind of soulless country could, regardless of vendetta, allow such a heinous crime? 

by 2002, the united states had their answer. the investigation was complete. A 600 page document known as the Congressional Report on 9/11 was released. approx 20 pages detailing the workings of the nation responsible were produced. The report was published. 

Except the name of the country responsible for 9/11 was redacted in the report. blackened out with a sharpie. It would remain redacted for 14 years. The country in question? Saudi Arabia. 

Instead of declaring to the world who was involved in orchestrating 9/11, the u.s. would hide this information for over a decade. 

Instead, they would point fingers at Iraq, whilst knowing that iraq had nothing to do with the attack in the first place. They would orchestrate journalistic propaganda in the new york times about “weapons of mass destruction” – a narrative that had been proven false by their very own intelligence officers, a narrative that had been shot down by every journalist that had ever stepped foot in Niger (where the purported ingredients of mass destruction were coming from). Regardless, the New York Times would dutifully publish the perverted stories anyway. NYT editors would say “to not invade iraq is the bigger mistake”. 

In 2003, the months of building up false stories in the media, propaganda in every mainstream newspaper, journal and t.v. show would pay off. The u.s. would invade iraq. 

from 2003 -  2011 the country of iraq would be brutalized in ways never seen before by mankind. modern, 21st century warfare would decimate the very spirit of iraq. at least 460 000 innocent, iraqi civilians murdered in 8 years. entire generations were wiped out in less than a decade. we will never know their names. 

waves of sexual violence committed upon “captured” cities ensued at the hands of american soldiers. many of the survivors, if not dead at the hands of their occupiers, would take their own lives. we will never know their names. 

in 2011, the blood in iraq is finally dry. we’ve leeched all of it. we’ve procured the natural resources we came for – it’s time to head out. the so called WMD we came for were never found, they did not exist, they were never real to begin with. A far cry from how things got started, we start seeing articles about the falsehood of the iraq war. the same publishers who willingly handed out propaganda to the masses about WMD in Saddam’s hands are now saying “wait…we’ve made an error.” the narrative shifts. the occupation ends 3 years after a new commander in chief is granted the power to end it. in its wake we leave behind military bases and mercenaries that are ready to activate whenever called upon. 

That same year, the u.s. supports various popular movements across the arab world. tens of regimes are flipped. 

and in that same year, using the same weapons left behind by valiant american rapists and invaders, an army of another kind of mercenaries is born. they call themselves ISIL, then ISIS. 

ISIS vows to cleanse the muslim world of shia muslims, minority sect muslims, christians, yezidis, Jewish people. ISIS also vows they are enemies of the u.s. America vows vice versa. Their feud is a celebrated one. ISIS, the evil nemesis of the Brave & Courageous America. 

But then, 2012 happens. America, losing their influence and control over the levant, start funding ISIS factions. America starts funding Al-Qaeda factions. 

The same NYT that once convinced us that Iraq had WMD is now INSISTING that these al-qaeda factions, that themselves claim to be brothers of al-qaeda, are moderate rebels simply looking for democracy and liberation. people believe it. 

America’s proxies in the levant go on to destroy the region in unimaginable ways–and then, 2018 happens. 

Iraqis & Iranians destroy ISIS. Indisputably, action from both nations led to the destruction of ISIS, now a paid member of the U.S. military. America, once using ISIS and AQ factions to regain control over the levant struggles to position themselves as the heroes – attempting pathetically to play both sides of the same coin. Again, the same way outlets like NYT backtracked their Iraq war propaganda, they start apologizing for identical mistakes in naming actual american funded terrorists as “freedom fighters.” another cycle ends. 

ISIS is gone, but the real loss is America’s. They’ve lost the barbaric feudalistic control they once held in the region via ISIS and Al-Qaeda. Their terrorist assets have been reduced to ashes by a people they once themselves invaded from 2003 - 2011.

This brings us to today. The united states has assassinated Qassem Soleimani, Iran’s second in command. this is akin to another nation murdering the likes of mike pence, joe biden or dick cheney. it is an act of war. 4000 troops have been deployed to the Iraq-Iran region. It is an invasion. 

And just as in 2003 the NYT & MSM justified the faulty invasion of iraq, and just as in 2012 the NYT & MSM justified the funding of ISIS & AQ factions, in 2020, a new propaganda will circulate to justify the illegal assassination of sovereign leaders. 

New propaganda will circulate to justify a new era of bloodshed in Iraq & Iran and the rape and murder of innocents.  New propaganda will vilify young, brown children as terrorists.  New propaganda will circulate to return us to the year 2003. 

There is nothing I can do within my capacity to help anyone. I am completely useless in saving any of the lives that will be taken in the next several years. 

All I can do is ask that when you see a piece of information that attempts to justify the actions of the u.s. on foreign soil, in any foreign nation, that you reduce it to ashes. They lied to you in 2003, they did it again in 2011, they are doing it again in 2020. 

Reject the lie. It’s all we can do. 

If you are scrolling through Tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about, or you’re looking for a sign. It is going to be okay. Just breathe. You are alive and you matter. 

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

The Patrician glanced again at Vimes’s impassive face, then looked back at the rank.

“That’s it?” he said.

Nobby whispered in Colon’s ear and then darted back. The sweating sergeant gripped his helmet as though it was the only real thing in the world.

“There was another thing, your reverence,” he said.

“Ah.” The Patrician smiled knowingly.

“There’s the kettle. It wasn’t much good anyway, and then Errol et it. It was nearly two dollars.” He swallowed. “We could do with a new kettle, if it’s all the same, your lordship.”

The Patrician leaned forward, gripping the arms of his chair.

“I want to be clear about this,” he said coldly. “Are we to believe that you are asking for a petty wage increase and a domestic utensil?”

Carrot whispered in Colon’s other ear.

Colon turned two bulging, watery-rimmed eyes to the dignitaries. The rim of his helmet was passing through his fingers like a millwheel.

“Well,” he began, “sometimes, we thought, you know, when we has our dinner break, or when it’s quiet, like, at the end of a watch as it may be, and we want to relax a bit, you know, wind down…” His voice trailed away.

“Yes?”

Colon took a deep breath.

“I suppose a dartboard would be out of the question–?”

-Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

this whole situation is very funny

credit to @cryptvokeeper for the idea!