Going Through Some Older Files And Forgot About This Spur Of The Moment Baby

★ 【haraya】 「 ultimate target 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

Overview of some topics when it comes to drawing characters who are burn survivors.

DISCLAIMER. Please keep in mind that this is an introductory overview for drawing some burn scars and has a lot of generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People. I'm calling this introductory because I hope to get people to actually do their own research before drawing disabled & visibly different characters rather than just making stuff up. Think of it as a starting point and take it with a grain of salt (especially if you have a very different art style from mine).

Talking about research and learning... don't make your burn survivor characters evil. Burn survivors are normal people and don't deserve to be constantly portrayed in such a way.

edit: apparently tum "queerest place on the internet" blr hates disabled people so much that this post got automatically filtered. cool!

Members of carnivora paired with their common ancestor, a miacid. 

a replaced!mc au pt. ii〚Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.〛

"If I cannot bend the will of Heaven, I shall move Hell."

part unus

This series was inspired by the writings of @wafermelons and @pen-ink-therapy whose work showed me how cathartic writing and reading angst could be.

Imagine an alternate universe where the seven avatars who have come to love the MC with everything they have, reject them for another. Old wounds are ripped open and laid bare for all to see. Grudges are brought to light, but with it comes an inner peace MC hasn't felt since they became the emotional support of the seven demon lords of the Devildom. Through trial and fire, MC will begin a new journey and the brothers will lose what cannot be replaced.

Warnings: mental abuse, emotional abuse, acts of violence, suicidal ideation, poor mental health, angst, mentions of past death, MC chose violence.

Note: There will be n/sfw and yandere content in future installments because I am a ✨ w h o r e ✨

The look on Mammon’s face—for lack of a better word—was priceless. One sentence. One response from you was all it took to crack his face in two. Your softly smiling lips and impishly twinkling eyes didn’t betray your emotions like his did, but inside you were just as surprised at yourself. The sentence flowed from your lips like a cool breeze on a warm summer’s day. It should’ve hurt, or been scary, or sent you into a panic attack afraid of all of the things that could be done to you in retaliation for daring to talk back—but it wasn’t and you didn’t. You forgot what this felt like, defending yourself against those who sought to tear you down with their hands or their words. It was always scary at first. The buildup of anxiety that festered the longer you took to defend yourself, but once you did, they almost always backed down because they thought you were an easy target and you proved you weren’t.

It was like how a bully's face crumbled in humiliation when you snapped back. They thought you were prey to make an example of in front of your peers, but they were so wrong. You could recall a relative who thought their blood ties could excuse bad behavior, only to get settled in front of the whole family, consequences be damned. You forgot what this felt like. To care about yourself. To begin to love yourself again. When you defended yourself, no matter the outcome, you were affirming your worth and your dignity was not something that could be taken away no matter how daunting the foe. You stared the second strongest lord of the Devildom in the eye and quirked an eyebrow. If you were to die for this, you sure as hell were going to get your money's worth.

You had always been worth so much more than you ever believed, MC.

While you had been invigorated and ready for conflict Mammon’s face had cracked, but by the grace of Diavolo it didn’t betray the mayhem raging inside. His eyes were wide with trembling pupils as if he was having trouble focusing on the human standing not even two feet away from him. Mouth slightly agape, no sound came out. His brothers, the mighty avatars, were frozen where they were. Asmodeus had been curled up on the couch with a throw blanket, but now his eyes were wide, and lips a wobbly line. Belphegor and Leviathan who had been grabbing for Danielle who had been scrambling towards you, were now frozen with their arms extended.

Satan had been stalking towards you with nostrils practically flaring when your words brought him to an abrupt halt. Beelzebub who had been seated on a chair was now sat upright, confusion and concern marred his features as once again he was at a loss of what to do. Lucifer stood the closest to you and Mammon, but he too had paused. He didn’t register that a mere human’s words had halted his movements and if he realized or someone was suicidal enough to mention it, he would surely combust on the spot. The silence was going on too long for your liking. I mean, you had places to be tonight. They had wasted enough of your valuable time—time a mere mortal like yourself couldn’t get back—and you’d be damned before you let them take a second more. Hurry up and start the confrontation so you can get the fuck on.

“What’s the matter, Mammoney? Cat got your tongue?” You used the old nickname he once wore like a badge of honor. He’d go out of his way to have you call that name in public, wanting the world to know that he was yours. Things had been so good once. You were so happy. Don’t worry MC, you can be happy again. It just won’t be with him.

Mammon had to shake himself from his stupor. He hadn’t heard that nickname in so long, and for some reason unknown to him, his heart ached. However, he couldn’t think over these foreign yet familiar feelings now. His brothers were watching and he wasn’t about to let himself be cowed in front of them.

“What the fuck did you just say to the Great Mammon?” His canines seemed more prominent, and his eyes sharpened with a danger never intended for you before. His fists were balled and shook slightly, and you could see the you of the past throwing yourself out of the way, so terrified of an attack. That was no more.

Your smile never left your lips, you didn’t even hesitate, “You’re a goddamned hypocritical little bitch and caring about you was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.”

He stumbled backwards and the bubble burst. Lucifer was charging at you, drawing up to bring his full form over yours. He was darkness and the odor of burning blood and rusty iron from chains and torture. “MC! How dare you—!”

You turned your head to the left to lock eyes with the furious demon. The fallen. He thought he was so scary, but the flash in your eyes was murderous. He had always thought he was so intimidating. A word from him, and everyone would fall into line, but you weren’t one of them. You looked at him and all you saw was a waste of space. His booming voice that seemed to reverberate in the common room and the hellfire that was his eyes, did nothing to you. Instead, your own eyes were alight with unbridled rage at his insubordination.

“Shut the fuck up!” Your voice was a growl, a beast that long lay dormant inside was awakened and out to protect you. "I am your master and you will obey me."

Every demon in the room was thrown back as strong gales of wind spun with you at its center. All were tossed back from their spots and sent crashing into furniture or the walls around you. Beelzebub was thrown into a display shelf, glass and priceless antiques were destroyed beyond repair. Asmodeus was thrown up where his head hit the ceiling on a tender spot that sent tears blurring his vision. He fell on his side and could immediately feel the bruises forming. Belphegor had been ripped backwards where he skidded across the carpet and bumped into an end table that fell over to crush his thighs.

Leviathan was ripped from his seat and spun in the air where he was thrown at the door where his head collided with the doorframe. His vision blurred and mind raced, unable to latch onto any thought but of terror and confusion and the splinters stuck in his scalp. Satan felt a punch to his gut that propelled him back into the lit fireplace. It took agonizingly long seconds before his body registered the heat. Then, he quickly threw himself on the rug before him and rolled to extinguish the flames, being too stunned to even think of a spell to put them out. Mammon was thrown back where he slid across the carpet and against the wall. Family photos and memories fell from the surface onto and around him. Glass shattered and frames broke and a picture of you and him on a rare trip to the human world caught his attention. You were holding his hand and beaming like it had been the happiest day of your life.

Lucifer should’ve been the one out of the brothers who could stand his ground, but his knees were kicked in by some invisible assailant, and he was tossed aside like a ragdoll. His wings wouldn’t listen to him and appear to catch his flight, so he was cast aside like something insignificant, an indignation he was sure he had never felt in all of his days.

The epiphany came too late. The paltry amount of magic Solomon had leant you at the beginning of your first semester was overwhelmed by your natural talents. You were able to summon the brothers to your side without a formal invocation and they had been imbued with strength they had never felt before from a pact mate. You were far stronger than they had realized, but somehow the fact had been forgotten. Why did they forget? Because you never used your pacts. You treated them like friends and only called when your life was threatened. You never asked for anything, but a bit of their time and they couldn’t even give that. This time, your command wasn’t imbuing them with power, but draining them. While all of this was happening, no demon uttered a single sound, not even a pained groan from their throats, because that was your command: To shut the fuck up. Their bodies listened and obeyed.

You exhaled. You had been afraid for nothing! All this time you held your tongue, bowed out with your tail between your legs and avoided confrontation like it was a fatal contagion because you felt it could kill you. Your life had been threatened in every possible way it could be and you still had panic attacks at night. You would awake unable to move and the air leaving your lungs. You couldn’t breathe or make a single gurgle inside of your throat and your vision would begin to go spotty. Every time that happened you were taken back to your throat being crushed by the hands of someone you foolishly trusted. Your lungs failed you and desperately clawing hands made no scratch on the demon who straddled your weakening form. You couldn’t have done anything to protect yourself back then, and it had hit you long ago how insignificant you truly were.

You could be killed by these creatures who didn’t view you as more than a fly—they had killed you like the fly they saw you as—and every threat may have been filled with truth. Almost eaten in a fit of rage because you were close enough and food. Almost ripped apart because you dared to say 'no.' Almost maimed over a stupid game that didn’t matter. Threatened to be sold or killed or disfigured or tortured until you were actually killed and brought back like exchanging a faulty product for a new one in store. Maybe you had been replaced long ago by a new you who they didn’t bother to ask how you felt. A new you who forgave and forgot.

In the chaos, Danielle was the only one left untouched. There was a slight tremor in her legs as she walked towards you, but it vanished the closer she got. Her back straightened and eyes never left your own. She stopped short, not wanting to invade your personal space, not from fear but from compassion. “MC, are you okay?”

You always looked at her with a softness your eyes had lost towards the brothers, and your smile bloomed into something shy and incredulous. “You’re something else, Danielle. You know that?” She shook her head, worry evident on her features. She pointed towards your hand that glowed with the signature colors of the demons you were in a pact with. The sight soured your expression.

Raising it to get a better view, these colors once gave a feeling of security but now they were a ball and chain you needed to find a saw to cut off. You wiggled your fingers and glanced at her. “Y’know, I was tricked into making these pacts.” She perked up then. She didn’t know how it happened and she never asked because she felt it hadn’t been her place, but she had been waiting to hear your side of things. “I thought I was helping,” you turned away from her, her honest eyes doing something to you, “but I was the only one hurt in the end.” Your throat became sore.

“MC?” Danielle started.

“Yes?”

“I’m on your side.”

You laughed. Come on, now. This had to be a joke, but Danielle stared at you with a resolve that you knew you couldn’t shake. You shook your head as you gazed at her, “I wish that we could’ve been friends.” You smiled and she could feel that same shyness she felt when first meeting you. She had always wanted you to like her, but she didn’t get the chance. “You should go.” You inclined your head to the door. “There’s something I have to do and…I don’t want to scare you.” You couldn’t budge her. “I’m not afraid, MC.” She was already going back to her spot on the couch where she sat crisscrossed. “And I feel like I should be here. Everything needs to come out in the open and I understand if you hate me—.”

“I don’t, Danielle. I could never hate you.” You smiled and she had to look away and clear her throat. Please don’t look at her like that when she’s trying to be serious and supportive here! “Well, no matter what happens here, I just want you to know I’m on your side.” she forced her eyes to meet yours again. You shook your head again, but maybe you didn’t hate the fact that she was here. What was going to happen in this room would sever the ties that bound you to this house and everyone in it, but that thought didn’t scare you like it once did. As cliché as it sounded, you truly could see the light at the end of this tunnel.

Turning away from her, it was time to get started. Your voice was clear and even when you turned your attention to Lucifer who had pulled himself up from the crumbled heap he once was. “Kneel before your master.” Avatars were drawn from their positions and forced to form a circle around you. All were forced to their knees, crashing harshly against the floor and nearly shattering kneecaps. The loudest of the brothers, Asmodeus and Leviathan, weren’t allowed to even make a peep. It was so nice to not hear their shrill voices for once. You basked in the silence, but your attention never left Lucifer whose eyes tried to express every vile intent and curse he could muster, ruby red eyes shaking and mouth drawn tight. You weren’t satisfied.

“Lower.”

Shock appeared on every brother’s face. Even Lucifer’s eyes widened as he was forced down onto his elbows where his fingers laced before him as he faced the floor at your feet in obedience. This still wasn’t enough. “Lower. Face down, ass up.” The smile that adorned your features was salacious. His once proud form prostrated himself in the same humiliating position you had been in not hours before. Forehead pressed against the floor and his ass being the highest point about him as it was raised in the air, he looked like a servant in devotion to their master.

“I’ve called you here for one last family meeting. You will listen to every word I speak and commit them to memory where they will forever be engraved on your hearts. They will invade every moment of silence you’ll ever experience. They’ll haunt your dreams and never let you rest. If I had to suffer from your words, so should you.” They must obey. Their confusion and fear were tuned out in favor of their ears and minds focusing on you and what you had to say. What was going to happen? What do you mean you suffered? You didn’t care for easing their anxieties, instead reaching down to take a fist full of Lucifer’s always perfectly styled hair painfully by the roots to jerk his head up to face you. Your eyes scanned his face looking for something of substance or value. Your eyes were unreadable, and he could feel an anxiety from being judged rise inside of him. Finally, your eyes flashed as you came to your conclusion.

“You look pretty like this. No wonder Diavolo keeps you down here—on your knees where you belong.” If they could’ve there would’ve been audible gasps heard in this room. “Just don’t forget who else owns your ass.” The look on his face should’ve been memorialized, but you didn’t waste time on him as you released his hair—now messy—and his head fell to the floor once more.

You retook your place at the center of the circle and gazed at every face. Every single one you had cared for in some way, but now those feelings had burned to ash, and something new thrived in its place. You needed to quench its thirst. As far as humans go, you tried to be good and kind. You tried to extend the same kindness to others that you wish you had been given at some of your lowest points in life. You never wanted others to feel the same hurt you did, but at the expense of your own health? You should’ve treated others like they deserved to be treated, MC. Don’t be good and kind; don’t be their Lilith. Let that vindictive bitch inside out.

“There are some things I have to get off of my chest.” You started, “Everyone else got to share their feelings, so I should get a turn before I go. Just remember: You unloaded all of this on me to fix and didn’t realize you were giving me ammo.”

You walked towards Mammon, the look in your eyes felt so disconnected to what he was used to as you gazed down at him.

“I guess I’ll start with my first,” you grinned, but he couldn’t feel the butterflies he used to. He felt cold. “Everything you did hurt the most, Mammon, because I loved you.” His eyes widened and he struggled to open his mouth or even whine, but nothing would come out. His throat was numb.

“You always pushed me away, but I couldn’t help but care. I never felt safer than when I was with you, and I trusted you over anyone else.” You searched his eyes, and he could feel the emotion. You were hurting and he was the one who caused it. How did he let it get this far?

“I was so stupid.” Wait, what?

“Everything that your brothers had ever said was true. You’re lower than shit, and not even half as useful. You go on and on about being the greatest but you’re a slave to some fucking witches who’ve made you their bitch and you let them. Either you get trapped in schemes that anyone could see, or you throw yourself into shit chasing coin that you never get to keep. You debase yourself for things or money that mean nothing, and in the end, you’re left used up and empty. You’re the cheapest fucking thing on the market, but no amount of grimm can buy back the dignity and respect you lost. What’s the point of making a pact with ‘the Great Mammon’ if everyone gets a turn? How many people have you had to suck and fuck to get out of debt just to fall into an MLM? You ask for respect, but when have you ever been worthy? When have you ever been someone to be proud of?”

You stoop down to meet his eye level, his trembling pupils and glassy eyes can no longer reach your heart. “The Great fucking Mammon is a delusion to save your shit self-esteem from everything people say because you know it’s the truth. You’re a greedy pest with no sense of self-worth so you take and take from everyone around you to bring them down to your level.” You tap a finger to his heart, “But no amount of grimm will change what you are or what people say. The only thing that can make the change is you, and you gave up a long time ago, right? You tried to play the good guy with me, but that crashed and burned. ‘I’ll protect ya!’ ‘I’m your first man!’ But how long did that last, Mammon? You kept me alive for what—a few months?—And then watched your baby brother kill me. Did you like it?” You leaned forward, voice dropping to a low whisper that sent chills wracking his spine. “Did it satisfy something in you watching that pesky little human being killed? I bet you liked that I couldn’t bother you anymore. If the human was out of the way, you could have more time to chase that grimm! Mammon, you’re the second born and Belphegor’s the weakest. If you wanted to save me, you would’ve. For once, just accept the truth. If you really cared you would’ve done something about it, but you chose you brother over me. You all did. Give me back the time I wasted loving you.”

You gently touched the gold change around his neck, only to cruelly rip it from his throat. A spell in your mind, a reverse alchemy that regressed an item to its basic components had the ‘gold’ chain reduced to mere copper. You stared down at the mineral blankly, then chuckled. “Cheap and tasteless. Typical.” You dropped the ash and grains at his knees and stood up to find Leviathan. When your eyes locked on his, he wanted to shrink in on himself and disappear. His turn was coming.

“Leviathan, you were wrong. People don’t hate you because you’re some yucky otaku.” Your voice was reassuring like the times you talked him down from his self-deprecating tangents. He foolishly let himself relax. “Please smile for me.” You cooed and his muscles drew back to expose his pearly whites to you despite his eyes betraying his fear.

His tense muscles relaxed the moment before your foot collided into his mouth.

Your shoe was a battering ram against his teeth, knocking his head back with a snap and him tumbling backward and on his back. The entire time, he didn’t make a sound. Some teeth loosened while his front ones chipped and broke. His mouth wasn’t allowed to open despite filling with blood and fragments of a broken smile, so he had no choice but to swallow it all down. The blood wouldn’t stop but he choked it down all the same. Tears poured from his eyes pathetically, but he couldn’t even sniffle.

“People hate you because you’re a manipulative, whiny, bitch-ass bastard who sucks the joy out of every place you go. You’re almost as much of a blackhole as Beelzebub, listless and empty, and like your older brother you take, and you take, and you take. You take good will, you take patience, you take the last shred of sanity needed to deal with a pathetic fuck like you! You take more than a person can give and you want more, but Leviathan, I have to tell you—you’re not worth it and you never will be.” Your once low voice when berating Mammon rose an octave, showing how annoyed you had been with Levi all this time.

“The most insecure are always the loudest, and you never shut the fuck up. If you hate being such a bother, why don’t you just disappear? The third born and leader of a fucking navy, but you can’t make any friends or inspire anything but pity. You need your hand held just to leave your room, but at least you’re considerate enough to know that no one wants to be seen with you.” You sneered down at him. He had truly been an annoyance for so long. You found a kindred spirit in him, his raw insecurities mirroring some of your own, so maybe that’s why it hurt so much to be left behind by someone you thought understood you. “Now don’t go withdrawing into yourself now. You’re always so expressive when playing those video games with the other scrotes who only have experience with their free hands. You’re so good at games, that’s the only thing you can be confident in. But when you lose? Everyone loses. They lose a tooth, they lose a friend, they could even lose their lives. Misery loves company because the only company you can keep are those you ruin.

“You’re weak and bitter, and not everyone is going to fall for your shit. What else can you offer than that? What more can you bring to the table, Levi? Nothing and you know it. I'm sure you were as useless in the celestial realm as you are down here." Snot dribbled down his chin as you hissed in dissatisfaction. "That's why you fell, right? Not some grand purpose you deluded yourself into believing like Lucifer— you fell because you had nowhere else to go. If your brothers left you'd be all alone. Heaven knows you're not the best at socializing, and you'd be up there all alone with no one you could talk to. Let's be real, you won't focus on anything that isn't a waifu or shitty otaku cashgrab, because you knew they would see through you as the waste of space, bottom of the barrel, unwanted middle child you are." Your sneer dropped into a flat line and your voice became a grave monotone, "You were right. Shove a loli figurine up your ass, you fucking degenerate, and throw in the fucking towel.”

You were out of breath at the end, but felt so fucking alive. You had cared about him once. The social anxiety was real, and you wanted to help him and grow together, but he let go of your hand. You were just paying back what was owed.

You turned to Satan and frowned. His eyes were like those of a caged animal, parts afraid, but parts ready to rip the keeper limb from limb if they dared approach. “Well, if it isn’t Lucifer’s precious little boy. His happy little accident.” You grinned wickedly and his eyes widened. “An amalgamation of some of his worst parts, but nothing left to stand on your own.” You raised a finger and he rose to his feet without hesitation. “At least you know a few tricks.” You continued, “Maybe show me what you did to me that one time.” His eyes widened, as his body levitated in the air and crashed into the wall behind him. Maybe it was your own influence, but the wall around him seemed to erupt as he went back as far as the wooden and stone beams lining the foundation of the home. Dust and cobwebs and construction fell around him and sent plumes of dust around the room, but you just stood and stared with your hands in your pockets. “Make yourself comfortable.” You said and his body began to grind into the beams and plaster with every bit of harshness and pain you had felt tenfold. You could see the veins straining in his neck and chose to let him slowly grind to a halt. His skin blazed a brilliant red from beneath his shirt, up his neck and to his ears.

“Are you angry?” You raised an eyebrow with a bored tone. “You’re so predictable, but it makes sense. You’re a product of a single emotion so how complex could you really be, right?” You didn’t wait for an answer as you mused over his existence, “Born from rage, you were conceived from trauma, but lots of people were so don’t let that get you down. You were never wanted and never meant to be anything more than a product of the worst moment of Lucifer’s life.” Your smile widened just a bit and the lights were dancing in your eyes. “You’re nothing more than an extension of someone else, and because of that you’ll never be whole. You can read every book from the Great fucking Library of Alexandria, but that won’t teach you what it means to feel. You can read about people’s lives and their dreams, but that won’t give you your own. You’ll never be able to be anything more than what you were after the fall. Wrath and hate and violence. You’re no more than a shade with one purpose and that’s just to be. So fucking controlled by your rage, do you even have a free will or to this day, do you still unconsciously act on Lucifer’s feelings? Could you ever exist without him? Do you even exist now?” For once, it looked like the demon would shed tears from anger, but you didn’t care. The look on his face was kind of cute in a way.

“Also, before I forget, you’re a pretentious prick. Yeah, you’re well-read but how could you not be when it’s the only way you know to live? You try not to be like Lucifer, but you’re copy. Wake the fuck up. Everything you loathe about him you have right in here.” You point to your heart, “And that’ll never go away as long as you live. You could never exist without him, but he can without you, and you know that.” He stared at you from his crucifixion pose in the common room’s wall and it looked like all of the fight had left him. He almost looked like the cute kittens he loved so much. You had bested Wrath.

You turned on Asmodeus and could see the teeth chattering behind his lips. You stood above him and scrutinized his features. Was he beautiful? Well, everyone else said so. What were you not getting?

"The Jewel of the Heavens," you started, "turned public toilet."

The tears spilled from his eyes and that fueled you. You had cried in front of him so many times; His words dressed you down to every insecurity you stupidly shared when you trusted him, and he turned them into knives and spit poison at you. Everyone had flaws, but his fault was acting like he had none. He was a huge slut with no self worth, yet acted like something to be treasured. "Free to use."

"You think people like being around you? You think they love you?" You began, "but people only like what you can do for them or what you let them do to you, Asmodeus." Your voice took on the faux compassionate tone his would take when giving you 'advice' and you even gingerly placed a hand over your chest and tilted your head, eyes boring into his own. "People don't want to hear your opinions. It doesn't even matter if you lay there like a dead fish, because dildos and fleshlights don't need feelings."

"That 'love' is dopamine, sweetie. When people cum, they feel a rush of neurochemicals that trigger pleasure, motivation, and desire. People will say anything before post-nut clarity kicks in and one of the biggest little lies they'll say is that they love you." You looked down at him like you truly pitied him and maybe you did. Even you wouldn't let yourself be as delusional as he is. "People don't love you, but they sure love fucking you, and you're not too picky as long as someone throws a few compliments your way. When you tried to get me into bed after complimenting your hair, I thought: This bitch is a lost cause." You grinned recalling that memory that seemed so long ago.

Your brows furrowed and the smile you sent looked apologetic, as if you were trying to break the news gently, “Y’know, Asmo…” You started—spurred on by his puffy and red face, wet cheeks, snot, and shaking lips—“How your powers don’t work on me?” You stared him deep in the eyes with a smile that he once called beautiful. “Maybe I’m not immune, and maybe you’re just a basic little bitch.” His expression shattered into a million pieces and the tears were back in full force. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I’ve always been able to see right through you. So, maybe I can see your disgusting insides on the outside? Something about you was always a little disgusting to me. Everyone and anything could touch you and your touch felt like an infection to me. I washed my sheets at least three times after you slept in my bed." you shivered involuntarily. "Something just made my skin crawl, y'know?” You added conversationally like you were shooting the shit on an average Sunday afternoon.

“You embody your sin just like the others and you’re good at what you do, but would your fans feel the same if they could really see you? The insecurities and the viciousness are really fucking ugly, and you do not wear them well, darling. You can fluff yourself up as much as you want, but we both know what you truly see in the mirror and it’s not pretty. You take care of yourself, but what’s left? Nothing. Asmodeus, you want love, but the only love you can get is physical and skin-deep. I promise you that no one could stand to be around you for five minutes if they had to do anything with you other than fuck. How could I stand you? Because I accepted it. I accepted the ugly parts because everyone has them, and I didn’t hold you to the impossible standards that you did.” You sighed as if tired with him and it all, “But for a former Jewel of the Heavens and fifth demon lord, you’re pretty fucking bland. Safe and without substance.

“You can fill the holes in your head and your ass, but you’ll never fill the one in your heart. You can’t give love and you can’t get it, sweetie. I pray you never lose that face cause you’ll really have nothing left.” You smiled as if giving heartfelt advice and turned your back to him just as quickly. He was shut out and discarded like last week's trend

Your eyes found Beelzebub but his were looking anywhere, but at you. He knew what guilt felt like, but never did anything about it. “There’s my big strong protector.” You could see his Adam’s apple bob. “Well, you’re good at protecting everyone else. You’ve got Lucifer’s back even though you don’t know what the fuck’s going on most of the time, and you could even back up a murderer over me.” His eyes found yours now. “You try to be the strong silent protector, but you’re more of a bitch-ass hypocrite than Mammon. Clap it up.” You clapped for him with a grin, “You’re as much of a drain as Leviathan and a one dimensional, listless bastard as Satan. You were always good at following the others, after all.

“You hold onto the past and let it tear you up inside and you eat to fill the emptiness for a little bit, but you’ll never be whole, Bumble Bee.” The nickname made his heart ache. “You’re an empty hole that’ll never be filled just like Asmodeus, and the same way you followed Lucifer into Hell, you’ll follow anyone because you don’t think for yourself and you're slow as fuck. If you weren’t a shadow or up Belphegor’s ass, you’d be nothing, and it’s sad you’ve never realized this. You think you’re kind and compassionate? You’re a dumbass that follows the leader, let’s not dress it up as something else.” You pulled out your ace. You didn’t care what would happen to you. After everything that happened, you’d sure as hell take someone down with you.

“Can we talk about Lilith? You should really stop blaming yourself. What else could you have done? I thought that it wasn’t your fault, but the second time you let someone be killed in front of you I started to notice a pattern. When it was my life on the line, you chose your twin—you always choose that trash in the end.”

You knew that your words should’ve gotten you killed, but your powers were too strong as your words penetrated their minds and nestled in deep. “Just admit it, Bumble. You don’t care about anyone else but keeping him alive even if he’s a genocidal maniac. It’s not sibling love, but dependency because you’re too afraid to live for yourself. No matter who it is, or what stake, you’ll always choose him. I did everything I could to help him for you. You cared so much and were hurting and I…” Your eyes got a little glassy and you paused to stare him down. “I wanted to help you forgive yourself, but you never should. You should live with your decisions for the rest of your shitty life and let the regret eat you from the inside out. I hope that at the end there'll be nothing left of you.”

You stood still for a moment before turning. There were no more smiles, but a burning ice in your veins. Violence hadn’t been your first instinct for so long, but gazing at Belphegor’s neck, it looked so scrawny and you could practically feel the bones breaking in your hands. “Belphegor.” You could feel the rage rolling from him in waves. He would have your life for what you said to his twin, but not if you had his first.

“Did you really think it was over?” You wanted to kick him, to crush his throat, to rip every strand of hair from his head, but that could wait. “What was it about you that made me want to help you? You had his eyes so I trusted you. I shouldn't have been so sentimental.” You gazed at him wistfully, but a chill ran down his spine. “Do you really believe I ever forgave you? Every time you hugged me, I wanted to throw up. When I was alone with you, I felt your hands around my neck and I was fighting as hard as I could, but no one came to help me. It took so long to die. I tried so hard but that meant nothing in the end. I felt myself die and everyone just watched. Surrounded by people, but I was all alone.”

They thought you had forgotten. This timeline’s MC had died, so those shouldn’t have been your memories! It should’ve been a clean slate. They stupidly forgot that if you remembered the good times pre death, how could you not remember the most traumatic event of your life? Your throat was growing tight, and you unconsciously touched you neck, “I can still feel your hands. I can feel the blood vessels bursting in my neck and eyes. You were the last thing I saw as I died, and to the end I was wondering what I did wrong. 'How did I make you turn on me? Did I offend you? I thought I had been helping.'

“But it’s okay, Belphegor. I got a second chance to see where I went wrong and I can see that you were always a greasy bastard so caught up in the past and your survivor's remorse sister complex. I wish God had wiped you out of existence before you even landed. You wanted to end humanity, but you should’ve started with yourself. The problem was always with you. Always you. Blaming your problems on others, you even blamed Beelzebub for saving your sorry ass and I hate that he saved you too. Meeting you was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I wish I had listened to that arrogant bitch about the stairs, but you should know better than anyone that we can’t go back. We deal with the present.

“Do you think Lilith is proud of you?” his eyes were wild, silently screaming to stop talking, but you continued. “I’ve felt her since my first day here.” You said, and that was the truth. You had never been alone when you arrived, but her form was not enough to interfere or protect you. “She had always been watching you all… She saw everything but loved you anyway.” You were looking him in the eyes and the anger turned to pity at his foolishness, “She. Saw. Everything. She was there when you killed me, and she’s been angry with you ever since. When you fell from Heaven, you fell somewhere too low to reach. You’re irredeemable and I wash my hands of you."

You huffed and softly shook your head like a disappointed parent. “Just do one last thing for me, Belphegor." You looked at him now and he recognized that expression. After a long day of coddling the brothers, you would be emotionally drained but he still sucked every drop of attention you had to offer until you had nothing left to give.

"Close your eyes."

His eyes closed immediately.

“Now, fall into a never-ending nightmare where you’ll feel everything I felt."

You didn't second guess yourself.

"Die then revive and die again—"

He deserved far worse.

"staring up at your own face killing you.”

He was lucky you would let him live.

Beelzebub would’ve yelled out, he would’ve ran to catch his brother from falling to the floor in a heap, but he couldn’t do anything for anyone. Belphegor began to twitch and squirm on the floor, then he started to convulse and buck as if trying to throw someone off of him. His hands desperately clawed at his neck, trying to pry something off —perhaps a pair of hands that had a bone-crushing grip on his windpipe?— but he only tore into his own flesh, drawing bright red gashes. He wheezed, and you could see his chest desperately rising and falling as he choked down shallow breaths until his chest couldn’t rise any more. He fell limp for a few moments, and then reanimated again where he started the horrible cycle all over again. Seeing that your work was done, you turned to the last event.

“Lucifer,” you called softly to him like you did before entering his office, “Have you thought about what you’ve done? No, I’m not talking about the lies and the imprisonment. I’m talking about the threats and the violence and everything you’ve ever done to the first human in your care.” His mouth stayed sealed, and you smiled at the back of his head that was facing you.

Then, you raised a foot and stumped his head further into the floor.

One.

“You always acted like you were better than everyone else.”

Two.

“Because you felt like you were the lowest.”

Three.

“There’s a limit to how much you can fake it, Lucifer.”

Four.

“Everyone can see you for what you are.”

Five.

“An angel fallen from glory desperately clinging to a pride he doesn’t have.”

The violence made you feel a little better, but it didn’t help. You could never change a demon and he would never understand how much he hurt you. “Look at me, Lucifer.” He groggily raised his head and although the fight left his eyes, he was still alert and aware, and his body awaited your command. A brilliant red spread from his broken nose and across his face. How the mighty had fallen. “You hated me from day one and it’s always been mutual. You’re a pompous bitch who thinks he can micromanage everyone around him, and be the pinnacle of perfection we should all strive to emulate, but don't delude yourself, the only thing you can be proud of is your place at Diavolo’s feet. You went from being a lapdog for one master to another, and you don’t even see it. Maybe you’re not that smart after all.” You tilted your head quizzically. “I hate everything about you because you’re every trait I’ve ever seen in an abuser back in the human world. Mammon takes, and Leviathan manipulates, Satan rages and hurts, and Asmodeus tries to destroy people from the inside, and Beelzebub betrays, and Belphegor should’ve been destroyed so many times over.

“And you think you run a tight ship? You think you have the right to fucking discipline me, but you can’t even control your damn family! Everything was falling apart, Lucifer. Everyone hated each other and themselves, and everything was on the brink of imploding because you were too incompetent to keep your little brothers in check. One wanted to destroy humanity and you were too much of a pushover bitch that you couldn't give him a spanking—just sent him to his room and called it a fucking day. Excellent parenting, by the way! No wonder the others are goddamned tragedies: They're true testaments to your capabilities as a leader." You hissed through your teeth and looked down at him like an insect too much of a pain to even crush underfoot.

"You’re not superior, reliable or the most capable person in the room. You’re a wine mom trainwreck that’s trying to prettify the disaster that is your life. You're a fucking mess—a walking moral story to never be like you. Never in my life have I ever seen someone ruin everything they fucking touch! In this, you're truly superior." You clapped mockingly. "I may be a human, but you’re a disgrace, and unlike me, you don’t have the capacity to change. Stay bitter and twisted for all of eternity, you melancholic bitch. Every time you look in the mirror see all of the ways you failed everyone you ever cared about. Remember that human who almost trusted you and died for it.”

You stepped back and finally exhaled. Anxiety and self-doubt fell from your shoulders. Every way you thought you were undeserving of love was untrue, and you thanked whatever power was out there that you realized it before something irreversible happened. You had been teetering on the edge of oblivion for so long, and tonight may have been the night you ended it all. Checking your phone may have been the thing that brought you back. You chuckled and tilted your head back with your eyes closed. It wasn’t raining but you felt refreshed. “I wasted so much time here stressing over things that never mattered. Killing myself for nothing.” You sighed again and rolled your shoulders, already thinking of plans for the future. You had far too much to catch up on!

But first…You turned on Mammon once again, “Mammon, retrieve my grandmother’s ring in pristine condition. The same way you found it when you stole it from me. I don’t care if you have to lie, cheat, steal, kill or debase yourself in anyway—I want my fucking ring.” Your lips curled, “Even if you have to humiliate yourself, preferably with video evidence, do what needs to be done to get it back.” His face paled and lips trembled pathetically. You weren’t doing anything worse than what Lucifer would’ve done. Honestly, he should be grateful to have such a kind master.

“You have five minutes.” His wings were already ripping from his back and propelling him in the air. “Oh, and Mammon,” he looked to you, and you lifted the corners of your lips with your fingers mockingly, “Do it with a smile!” His mouth contorted into the pained open-mouthed grin of someone trying to hold back tears. You waved him off and turned around to see Danielle standing behind you.

“Oh! Ah… You saw all of that, huh?” You asked sheepishly. Danielle stepped towards you until you were as close as you two had been when she tried to press you back outside, so close you could almost hear her heartbeat pounding in her chest. “I didn’t want to scare you.”

“You didn’t, though!” She was reaching for your hands and taking them in her own. Her hands were so small and soft and a loneliness you had tried to ignore for months hit you at once. When was the last time you felt such warmth? Even holding another’s hand was now foreign territory and your hands shook with nerves. “I told you I was on your side, MC.” She affirmed like you should’ve never doubted her. “I don’t know all that happened, and I won't pretend to, but did they…were you…” She didn’t know if she even wanted to know, but it would explain so much! The fear and the panic attacks and the signs of PTSD were so familiar to her. She had witnessed similar symptoms from abuse survivors, and she had done her best to not isolate you, but then it came to the point that she had to avoid you for your own safety. She took a quivering breath, not aware that her hands held your own tighter and that she was shaking.

“It’s in the past, Danielle.” You squeezed her hands back and released them, drawing away from her as she desperately wanted to reach out and take your hands again.

“I’m leaving. I don’t know where I’m going, but forget about me, okay?” She was about to argue, but your smile and the tender hurt in your eyes silenced her. “You make everything better just by being. Stay here and be happy." You nodded your head affirming your beliefs, "You deserve to be happy.”

“But where are you going? I can go with you!” She was leaning into you, wanting to invade your space, but holding herself back. You tucked a loose stand of silky hair behind her ear and slipped away before she could grab you and never let go. “For now, just forget I was ever here. I want to disappear, but on my own terms.” You began walking to the room that was never yours and she followed after. You two had left the six remaining demons to kneel in the common room completely forgotten.

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, a strangled whine left her throat. You had already packed! You had planned to leave from the start. “If you don’t feel safe here, just tell me or Diavolo or literally anyone else and we’ll take you somewhere safe.” You looked at her with concern, “Do you feel unsafe here, Danielle?” She couldn’t lie. She knew that things were fine for her here, and she couldn’t lie to you just to follow along. She could tell you needed to be away from everything that reminded you of the pain, and that may have included her.

“I’ll be okay, but I won’t forget you and you can’t forget me.” She commanded and you laughed. You both returned to the common room where Mammon was already waiting with the others. He was out of breath and covered in foliage and sweat, but he had made it in time. Extending a hand, he placed your ring into your waiting palm and you turned your back on him without even a glance. Danielle watched you examine the ring and put it on your finger to admire. Your guard lowered the slightest bit as you gazed at the precious keepsake, and she fought the urge to reach out to you. She didn't want to ruin this moment of peace for you.

Soon, you looked up at her refreshed and ready to depart. “If we had met in the human world, I would’ve been drawn to you, y'know?" Your expression became bashful. "I really would've wanted to be your friend.” You said and that only made her sadder. “I wish we could’ve been friends.” She balked at that. “W-we still can be!” You looked at her carefully and then nodded. “Yeah... Yeah, you're right! I still have your number and you have mine.” An easy smile was on your lips as you were once again thinking of the future. “When I get to where I’m going, can I text you?” “You better call!” You both giggled and for a moment, things felt normal.

It was so nice to finally talk to her, but now that you could you were at a loss at what to say. All you wanted to do was open your mouth and let everything spill out.

“I… Danielle, I’ve died every day since being here. Things were so good for a time if I just forgot everything that happened to me and forgave it all, but I was killing myself to make others happy and I don’t want to die again.” Your eyes were glossy with unshed tears, and you tried to sniffle without her hearing. You could read her thoughts and stepped back before she could advance, “Please don’t. If you hug me, I really might break down.” She held her arms to her sides and tried to look composed. She wouldn’t make you cry.

“Promise to call me and I won’t.”

You sniffled and burst out laughing. “Okay, I promise.”

You stood around and smiled at each other while Belphegor spasmed beside you. Her eyes dropped to his form, annoyed that he was ruining her moment before your left.

“What are you going to do about them?” She pointed at him, but you were already walking to the front door. Turning back, you cast a glance at the wreckage you caused: the room that a literal twister had gone through, the blood and bruises and the broken bones and the demon trapped in a nightmare of his own design.

You smiled a devil may care grin, “That's not my problem anymore!” and shut the door behind you.

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚  ✩

┊         ┊       ┊   ✫

┊         ┊       ☪⋆

┊ ⊹      ┊

✯ ⋆      ┊ .  ˚

˚✩

You were on autopilot tonight. Your steps felt feather light against the cobblestone that once marked impending doom, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves around you and filled your lungs with fresh air. This time, you were leaving the House of Lamentation with no intentions of returning and the taste of freedom was sweet on your tongue.

You trusted your instincts to guide your way and found yourself at the gates of the castle. The iron gates stood tall and foreboding before you, but they opened before you could even stop and consider your options. A svelte silhouette stood beneath the moonlight, pressed uniform catching the light in his polished buttons and buckles. “Welcome MC, it’s a little late for a stroll, isn’t it?”

Another elegant figure stood beside the first, clothes and shawl glowing faintly from a fine material out of this world. Posture relaxed yet regal while the other was perfectly poised, they both felt familiar and safe to you. “Right on time! We were on our way to retrieve you, but you came to us.”

Stepping forward you grasped the outstretched hands waiting for your own, and left the shadows behind.

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊    ┊        ┊

┊         ┊       ┊   ┊   ˚✩ ⋆｡˚  ✩

┊         ┊       ┊   ✫

┊         ┊       ☪⋆

┊ ⊹      ┊

✯ ⋆      ┊ .  ˚

˚✩

To be continued~

Hey hey hey~ that line about fixing problems and being given ammo? Totally took that from @romancedeldiablo when we were chatting 😘

@romancedeldiablo @magneticwimp @yaboihack @jisoosupremacist @da-sinnamon-roll @idobvibing @kita-sds @neptune-cinths @anotakugardener @tinygremliin @bby-sparkler @crystal-freak24 @road-k1ll @nice-try-time-isn't-real @ghostl1ykisses @riordanversexreader @blacktailedfox @foxlikeeyes @prefesro @sadgirlstuffsstuff @ckapoteinterreson @flareon2005 @rose2889 @wawadraws12 @maessite @loev4eva @mythsofkairos @keshieowo @itsuki-yuuma @noodlesthesimp @galaxy-luvletters @here-queer-and-confused @gayassfuckinghomosexual @itshimbotime @pen-ink-therapy @deltatauri @scfftyy @beef-noodles-with-eggs @imasimpsstuff @books-and-catears @shoukuto @eunn @saintoshi @sunset-murders @gallantys @curatornil @azaleawisterias @sucker-for-angst-and-fluff @kittykitkatstrawberry @gene-san @obeythebutler @thesadpinkclown @smikys-stuff @ryokuu @jiminslajibolala @galactic-anarchy @venixxvoid @fallowdoe @comfydrem @sutsuxan @suunao @bear-likes-mushrooms @moontofuu @ellykralie @fuegy-fuegy @wonder-alien @reveltica @hislittlecumwhore @chosomybeloved @1On31y-1OOn3y-1Os3r @sukunas-cult-leader

and I'm going to do more than just a punch

Mc: Well, atoms never touch each other. Since we are made of atoms, we have never touched anything our whole lives.

Lucifer: ......

Mc: So, to answer your question, no, I didn't punch Belphie in the face.

this is what every tiktok screenshot looks like to me

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try accepting yourself and see what happens.”

— Louise Hay

“and the universe said…”

some examples of pink in the animal kingdom. while there are no mammals with pink fur, it's naturally found in some birds, insects and fish. otherwise, usually due to genetic pigment mutations like albinism or leucism, some animals appear pink due their extreme paleness – their blood is visible through their skin!