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i like to post like im logging on from monster high

Ray and Frank wearing Mikey Way shirts :3

Batfamily Christmas

Jason: “Merry Christmas to my homies, and happy Hanukka to my Shalom-ies!”

Secret Santa is banned after that one year where Damian rigged it so everyone got his name

The whole family spends Christmas Eve serving soup at the local soup kitchen

Bruce dresses up as Santa and delivers presents to all the orphanages. Somehow Jason, Dick, Tim, Damian, Duke, Cass and Steph get roped into being his elf helpers. “Does my butt look big in these green tights?” “Dick your butt looks big in everything”.

Various festive themed witty one-liners whilst patrolling. Batman: *Bursting through a glass ceiling menacingly* Have you been naughty or nice? Jason: *Singing* Santa baaaby  🎶 slip a drug lord under the tree for mee  🎶 🎶 Been an awful good guy 🎶 Saaanta BABY!!  🎶 🎶 Steph: *Beating up a criminal with a giant candy cane* TASTE MY MINTY JUSTICE!! 

Christmas hats for all the pets!! 

Dick, after eating all the Christmas cookies: My mouth tastes of Christmas and regret

Arguments over who carves the turkey. No, Jason, a chainsaw is not a legitimate carving tool, neither is a sword, Damian. 

Brussel sprout fight!!! Bruce: What else are they meant to do with them Alfred?!? Eat them?!!?

Building Snowmen and having a giant snowball fight!!

Tim fills Damian’s stocking with coal 

The kids get Bruce a graphic t-shirt with the Batsymbol and the words #BATDAD. He loves it.

Pulling Christmas crackers and telling the really bad jokes from inside. The first one who laughs has to do the dishes. Unsurprisingly it’s Dick who looses.

Drunken carols around the piano. Bruce is playing the piano. Stephanie, Cass, and Barbara are the best singers, the rest sound like strangled cats. 

Barbara spiked the eggnog and now Duke is crying because the snowmen are outside in the cold all alone

Eggnog prt 2: Duke tried to bring a snowman into the manor but it started melting so now he’s guilty of SNOWMAN-SLAUGHTER!!!

Alfred knitted everyone scarves, hats, and gloves personalized with their initials.

Steph: Tim and Kon, sittin in a tree.

Dick: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Kon: for the last time, Tim and I have never made out!

Tim: It was just mouth-to-mouth!

Steph: wait

Tim: oops

Dick: are you saying that you have put your mouth on Kon's?

Damian: don't be vulgar, Grayson

Tim: yeah, okay, Kon SAVING MY LIFE is not making out

Cass: awww, you save each other!

Kon: we're teammates. it's what we do.

Cassie: he never gave ME mouth-to-mouth....

Kon: you never needed it!

Duke: how do you....even know mouth-to-mouth?

Kon: all heroes should know it!

Kara: yeah okay but who taught you?

Kon: I learned in the Teen Titans

Cassie: Teen Titans never taught me....just saying...

Kon: stop being gross!

Dick: Are you saying that being gay is gross, because if so, I am very disappointed in you--

Kon: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID

Jason: 's what it sounded like

Tim: Kon calling people who are gay gross would be hypocritical

Steph: and why is that, Timbo?

Tim: uh

Kon: I'm bi, okay?????

Kara: interesting. And how does Tim know this?

Tim: we're friends. We talk.

Steph: let me guess. It's 3 am, neither of you can sleep, Kon creeps into Tim's room--

Kara: Kon sits on the end of Tim's bed, they stare into each other's eyes--

Cassie: Kon says, softly, staring at the moonlight lighting up Tim's face--

Duke: "I'm bi, Tim."

Dick: "Bi....for YOU."

Tim: THAT NEVER HAPPENED

Steph: sureeeeeeee it didn't

Donna: that's how Dick came out as pan to me

Dick: sort of. I mean, I didn't say I was pan for her, but there was the moonlight, and the beds, and the 3 am part--

Damian: that never happened, Grayson

Donna: oh yeah it did, punk

Jon: I wish I had a friend I was that close to

Kara: why, Jonno? you got something to tell us?

Jon: No! I just wish I had a good friend...

Steph: Damian, you're such a terrible person, look at his little face

Damian: how is this about me, now? I thought we were talking about Drake and the clone!

Cass: we can talk about both

Jon: no, no, it's not Damian's fault--

Jason: that he's a little punk? yeah, it is

Damian: can we please go back to talking about Drake and the clone's mating habits?

Tim: JAY HOW DID YOU COME OUT AS BI?

Jason: walked up to the guy, made out with him, and said "hey, Roy, I'm bi" and he said, "That's funny, your pants were saying--"

Kara: OKAY JASON THERE ARE SMALL EARS HERE

Damian: Danvers is right, nobody wants to hear about you and Harper's disgusting habits

Steph: right, let's talk about CASS and Harper's disgusting habits!

Cass: Harper Row is the most beautiful girl to ever exist.

Steph, Tim, Kara, Dick: awwwwwwww

Duke: this doesn't mean you're off the hook, Timberly

Tim: suRE IT DOES!!!

Cass: no, I'm pretty sure we never learned where Kon learned CPR

Kon: Tim taught me, okay????????????????

Dick: I KNEW IT!!!

Steph: did you make out??

Kara: was it romantic??

Tim: NO!! We used a dummy, just like how we learned it with Batman!

Cass: oh

Donna: boring

Cassie: I expected more from you

Barbara: If it helps, I found footage of them on a rooftop last week....

Tim: NO NO NO

Kon: THAT NEVER HAPPENED

Steph: BABS MY HERO LET ME SEE

Tim: NOOOOOOOO

[everything descends into chaos]

Bruce: You asked why we never have family get-togethers, Clark. This. This is why.

Clark: I'll admit I wasn't, uh, expecting that. At all.

Diana, eating popcorn: I was!

i-

ten year old dick: i know who you are, bruce

bruce, sighing: i'm bat--

dick: you're a tsundere

bruce:

bruce: go to your room

ExR drinking coffee for @what-a-beautiful-day-to-vent. Thanks for the coffee! I hope this is close enough.

Buy me a coffee ☕️ 

Les mis reincarnation au: Where everytime Marius walks into the room, some of the Amis play Waterloo by Abba. By some I mean Courfeyrac and Grantaire.

Enjolras pretends to disapprove of the distraction to the modern day cause but secretly loves it.

my heart just exploded

My steddie brain rot is going crazy today.

But the trope of Steve going on so many failed dates at the same place. But Eddie is the waiter every time.

He makes snarky remarks, always is quick to supply a lie for Steve to get away from the ones with too many red flags (Eddie slips him a napkin explaining them every time on his way out, and Steve always trusts him), picks Steve’s spirits up when he strikes out yet again, and always slips him free dessert.

After a particularly horrible date - in which the girl shows up an hour late and thirty minutes before they close and proceeds to only talk about her ex the whole time, running out when he sees him pass by - Eddie allows Steve to stay after closing and gives him extra fries and a slice of chocolate cake.

When Steve’s head thuds against the counter, Eddie comments, “Maybe you’re cursed.”

Steve shoots back, “Maybe this place is cursed.”

Eddie is silent for a few moments and leans over the counter he’s cleaning to whisper, “Maybe I’m cursing you.”

Steve laughs and throws a fry at Eddie who yelps and demands he pays for his cake this time. When the laughter dies down, Steve finds himself actually considering a new location for his dates.

“Hey, Eddie, where do you take all your dates?”

Eddie freezes and looks at Steve. He shakes his head and continues wiping off the counter. “All my dates,” he mutters in what sounds like disbelief. Steve can hardly believe it.

“You… you don’t go on dates?” Steve questions.

Eddie shoots him a look and says, “Steve, I don’t know where you got that impression, but I certainly do notttt.” He circles around the counter and begins putting chairs on top of the tables.

“Why not? You’re funny, kind, really creative with your lies, have a steady supply of free cake…” Steve trails off as Eddie laughs. He blurts out, “And you’re not so bad on the eyes either.”

Eddie’s laughter abruptly stops. He slowly approaches Steve and asks, “Steve Harrington, are you saying you find me attractive?”

Steve easily flirts back, “Maybe I am.” And what the hell was that? This isn’t one of his dates.

Eddie’s cheeks turns red and he looks down shaking his head. He replies, “Well, if you’re looking for a new place for a date, I would suggest the diner across the street. So you can come crawling back to me when it fails.”

Steve throws yet another fry at him and exclaims, “Another failed one!”

“You’re right! I won’t be close enough to curse you!”

Steve remains in the diner until Eddie closes up. His stomach hurts from laughing so hard, and he entirely forgets about the failed date. But he comes up with a plan for the next one.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Steve shows up at the diner across the street with low hopes for this date.

Surprisingly enough, she shows up on time and is really funny and beautiful and…

Steve looks out the window trying to catch a flash of big curly hair in the diner across the street.

“Steve?” The girl, Jessie, asks. “You okay? You seem… distracted.”

“Yeah, of course,” he replies shaking the feeling that something is off.

The date goes… really well. And Steve isn’t happy about it. And he doesn’t know why he’s not happy until he finishes his meal and gets the check… with no free dessert.

Eddie is what’s off. The thought hits him suddenly, and Steve doesn’t know what to do. The perfect girl is literally right in front of him, but more than anything he wants to run across the street and see Eddie.

Eddie had cursed him.

“Steve, are you okay?” Jessie asks so kindly, and really she’s perfect. But she’s not Eddie.

“I’m so sorry…” Steve begins.

Jessie cuts him off, “Someone else, right? It’s okay really. I’ve been there, too. Just… go after her.” She smiles sweetly at Steve and squeezes his hand.

Who the fuck is she, and please be attracted to girls so Steve can set her up with Robin.

“Thank you,” Steve says leaving money on the table, he kisses her on the forehead and thanks her again. Then he’s racing out the doors, darting across the street, apologizing to a car that has to slam on the breaks and swerve to not hit him.

He races into the diner, and the bell obnoxiously rings as the door slams open. Luckily, there’s only one couple in the place, and they’re in the process of leaving. Or they were. Eddie dropped their change all over the ground when Steve startled everyone.

Steve helps to scoop up the money, apologizing and awkwardly waving as the couple leaves. When the door closes, Eddie slightly smiles asking, “Another failed date, huh?”

“No actually,” Steve replies.

Eddie’s face drops and his knuckles turn white around the money he’s gripping. “Oh. Well, congratulations,” Eddie says monotonously, shoving the money into the register and slamming it shut. “Unfortunately, we’re closing soon, so I’ll have to usher you out.”

“Eddie-”

“Leave,” Eddie says, not looking up.

“It didn’t work out!” Steve yells. “It didn’t work out. And it should’ve. Because she was everything. She was perfect. She was everything I wanted.”

“Glad to hear that-”

Steve interrupts, “But it didn’t matter because she wasn’t you!”

Eddie finally looks up at him. “What?”

“The whole time, I was expecting to look up and see you. And when I didn’t I was looking out the window trying to see you across the street and the damn glare wouldn’t let me. And then I was expecting free dessert subconsciously, and it never came!” Steve rambles out running his hands through his hair.

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow as he tilts his head. “You wanted me to be there for… my free dessert?”

Steve groans, “No, Eddie. I wanted you to be there on the other side of the table. I wanted Jessie to be you.”

Eddie stares at him for a few moments and then slowly breaks out into a grin. “So I really did curse you?”

“You did, you asshole,” Steve bites back laughing.

Eddie leans across the counter and says, “So, what if I told you that if I were to go on a date, I would go to Enzo’s? And that I’m free tomorrow night.”

“I would say it’s a date,” Steve says leaning in.

Eddie hesitates and says, “Woah now. A gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date.”

Steve replies, “Apparently I’m not a gentleman then.”

Eddie meets him in the middle and gently kisses him, breaking it only when he can’t help but smile widely. “You’re going to get me fired.”

“Definitely now that I have an unlimited supply of free cake.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and says, “Which comes directly out of my paycheck.”

“Eddie! You didn’t tell me you were paying for it!”

Eddie smiles. “Sounds like you’re paying for a lot of our dates then.”

Steve comes around the counter and hooks his arms around Eddie’s neck. “Someone’s presumptuous.”

“And that someone needs to close the diner,” Eddie shoots back quickly giving Steve a peck on the cheek.

Steve helps him close up, wondering how it took him so long to see what was right in front of him.

Basic Lit Lesson

Most people in this fandom know exactly three lines from Euripides (Anne Carson trans.):

Pylades: I'll take care of you.

Orestes: It's rotten work.

Pylades: Not to me. Not if it's you.

Now, this is all well and good for understanding Vicky's parallelism with Orestes & Pylades, Achilles & Patroclus, and Enjolras & Grantaire and explains the dynamic well enough,

but

if we evaluate it in context, we find the good kush.

Background: A council is deciding if Orestes will be stoned to death, and things aren't looking good for him. He and Pylades have just decided to run away together.

Orestes: Beware the contagion of madness.

Enjolras: If you join me, you will die.

Pylades: Come on.

Grantaire: Vive la Republique, I am one of them.

Orestes: You won't shrink back?

Enjolras:

Pylades: A friend does not shrink back.

Grantaire:

Orestes: Then let's go.

Pylades: Let's go.

Enjolras & Grantaire:

TL;DR: Y'all're sleeping on some good content.

At the Watchtower

Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-

Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?

Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-

Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]

Clark: [looks on from a distance]

Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?

Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?

Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-

Damian: [earnestly interested]

Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]

Clark: Hey Bruce?

Bruce: [grunts]

Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?

Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]

Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-

Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]

Clark:

Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]

Bruce: What the hell?

Clark: You're such a bad friend!

Bruce: what?

Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!

Bruce:

Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!

Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?

Clark: Or Damian!

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?

Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!

Bruce: you were talking about cows

Clark: that doesn't matter!

Bruce: It matters a little

Clark: Cows are interesting!

Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.

Clark: Well, I'M interesting

Bruce:

Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.

Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]

Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!

Bruce: [walks faster]

-a week later-

Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?

Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though

Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow

Wonder Woman: I see.

Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep

Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too

Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.