Damian Always Did Like Copying His Heroes Ft. Every Other Superhero Family Who Is Tired Of The Waynes’

my heart just exploded

My steddie brain rot is going crazy today.

But the trope of Steve going on so many failed dates at the same place. But Eddie is the waiter every time.

He makes snarky remarks, always is quick to supply a lie for Steve to get away from the ones with too many red flags (Eddie slips him a napkin explaining them every time on his way out, and Steve always trusts him), picks Steve’s spirits up when he strikes out yet again, and always slips him free dessert.

After a particularly horrible date - in which the girl shows up an hour late and thirty minutes before they close and proceeds to only talk about her ex the whole time, running out when he sees him pass by - Eddie allows Steve to stay after closing and gives him extra fries and a slice of chocolate cake.

When Steve’s head thuds against the counter, Eddie comments, “Maybe you’re cursed.”

Steve shoots back, “Maybe this place is cursed.”

Eddie is silent for a few moments and leans over the counter he’s cleaning to whisper, “Maybe I’m cursing you.”

Steve laughs and throws a fry at Eddie who yelps and demands he pays for his cake this time. When the laughter dies down, Steve finds himself actually considering a new location for his dates.

“Hey, Eddie, where do you take all your dates?”

Eddie freezes and looks at Steve. He shakes his head and continues wiping off the counter. “All my dates,” he mutters in what sounds like disbelief. Steve can hardly believe it.

“You… you don’t go on dates?” Steve questions.

Eddie shoots him a look and says, “Steve, I don’t know where you got that impression, but I certainly do notttt.” He circles around the counter and begins putting chairs on top of the tables.

“Why not? You’re funny, kind, really creative with your lies, have a steady supply of free cake…” Steve trails off as Eddie laughs. He blurts out, “And you’re not so bad on the eyes either.”

Eddie’s laughter abruptly stops. He slowly approaches Steve and asks, “Steve Harrington, are you saying you find me attractive?”

Steve easily flirts back, “Maybe I am.” And what the hell was that? This isn’t one of his dates.

Eddie’s cheeks turns red and he looks down shaking his head. He replies, “Well, if you’re looking for a new place for a date, I would suggest the diner across the street. So you can come crawling back to me when it fails.”

Steve throws yet another fry at him and exclaims, “Another failed one!”

“You’re right! I won’t be close enough to curse you!”

Steve remains in the diner until Eddie closes up. His stomach hurts from laughing so hard, and he entirely forgets about the failed date. But he comes up with a plan for the next one.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Steve shows up at the diner across the street with low hopes for this date.

Surprisingly enough, she shows up on time and is really funny and beautiful and…

Steve looks out the window trying to catch a flash of big curly hair in the diner across the street.

“Steve?” The girl, Jessie, asks. “You okay? You seem… distracted.”

“Yeah, of course,” he replies shaking the feeling that something is off.

The date goes… really well. And Steve isn’t happy about it. And he doesn’t know why he’s not happy until he finishes his meal and gets the check… with no free dessert.

Eddie is what’s off. The thought hits him suddenly, and Steve doesn’t know what to do. The perfect girl is literally right in front of him, but more than anything he wants to run across the street and see Eddie.

Eddie had cursed him.

“Steve, are you okay?” Jessie asks so kindly, and really she’s perfect. But she’s not Eddie.

“I’m so sorry…” Steve begins.

Jessie cuts him off, “Someone else, right? It’s okay really. I’ve been there, too. Just… go after her.” She smiles sweetly at Steve and squeezes his hand.

Who the fuck is she, and please be attracted to girls so Steve can set her up with Robin.

“Thank you,” Steve says leaving money on the table, he kisses her on the forehead and thanks her again. Then he’s racing out the doors, darting across the street, apologizing to a car that has to slam on the breaks and swerve to not hit him.

He races into the diner, and the bell obnoxiously rings as the door slams open. Luckily, there’s only one couple in the place, and they’re in the process of leaving. Or they were. Eddie dropped their change all over the ground when Steve startled everyone.

Steve helps to scoop up the money, apologizing and awkwardly waving as the couple leaves. When the door closes, Eddie slightly smiles asking, “Another failed date, huh?”

“No actually,” Steve replies.

Eddie’s face drops and his knuckles turn white around the money he’s gripping. “Oh. Well, congratulations,” Eddie says monotonously, shoving the money into the register and slamming it shut. “Unfortunately, we’re closing soon, so I’ll have to usher you out.”

“Eddie-”

“Leave,” Eddie says, not looking up.

“It didn’t work out!” Steve yells. “It didn’t work out. And it should’ve. Because she was everything. She was perfect. She was everything I wanted.”

“Glad to hear that-”

Steve interrupts, “But it didn’t matter because she wasn’t you!”

Eddie finally looks up at him. “What?”

“The whole time, I was expecting to look up and see you. And when I didn’t I was looking out the window trying to see you across the street and the damn glare wouldn’t let me. And then I was expecting free dessert subconsciously, and it never came!” Steve rambles out running his hands through his hair.

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow as he tilts his head. “You wanted me to be there for… my free dessert?”

Steve groans, “No, Eddie. I wanted you to be there on the other side of the table. I wanted Jessie to be you.”

Eddie stares at him for a few moments and then slowly breaks out into a grin. “So I really did curse you?”

“You did, you asshole,” Steve bites back laughing.

Eddie leans across the counter and says, “So, what if I told you that if I were to go on a date, I would go to Enzo’s? And that I’m free tomorrow night.”

“I would say it’s a date,” Steve says leaning in.

Eddie hesitates and says, “Woah now. A gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date.”

Steve replies, “Apparently I’m not a gentleman then.”

Eddie meets him in the middle and gently kisses him, breaking it only when he can’t help but smile widely. “You’re going to get me fired.”

“Definitely now that I have an unlimited supply of free cake.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and says, “Which comes directly out of my paycheck.”

“Eddie! You didn’t tell me you were paying for it!”

Eddie smiles. “Sounds like you’re paying for a lot of our dates then.”

Steve comes around the counter and hooks his arms around Eddie’s neck. “Someone’s presumptuous.”

“And that someone needs to close the diner,” Eddie shoots back quickly giving Steve a peck on the cheek.

Steve helps him close up, wondering how it took him so long to see what was right in front of him.

Grantaire: I-Is your hand on my ass?!

Enjolras: It was an accident.

Grantaire: Your hand’s still on my ass!

Enjolras: It’s still an accident.

dear god I haven't laughed like this in a long time.

https://mobile.twitter.com/eponinetaire/status/1013938159015612419/video/1

Bless this fan so much honestly 😭😭😭 I’m crying my goodness

I don’t have Twitter to go thank her but if you do please go there

Also do you think I shouldn’t post this? I’ll take it down if you think not I just really want people to see it

bruce: report, where are each of you

*silence*

bruce: alright i'm turning on your comms manually

tim: uh hullo mr wayne this is conner on tim's comm, we really think it'd be best if ya don't turn on tim's comm for an hour or so if you know what i- *off*

*comms open manually*

dick: yeah hi, how many patties can you fit on one burger? 10? is that really it or are you bullshitting me BECAUSE I KNOW YO- *off*

jason: yes you're a pretty gun. yes you are! who is my favorite gun? you are! *off*

damian: i'm going to name you batchicken

bruce: DAMIAN NO

damian: *smashes comm*

bruce: goddammit why do i do this to myself, maybe steph and cass will be better

steph: okay cass so i think the best first lesbian bar is- *off*

bruce: hi, alfred, i'm so sorry for everything

Perfect 10/10

Enjolras: Being gay is a constant battle between “I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds” and “Hey, let’s go throw rocks at fascists” and I think that’s very sexy of us.

Grantaire: If the window’s open and you time it right you can do both.

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried

At the Watchtower

Kon: So then ma says "well you're not coming back into this house until you've caught every single one of them pigs"-

Tim: [clutching his coffee-mug and listening intently] without powers?

Kon: Of course! So there I am, covered in mud, and all I want is to eat some pie and go to bed-

Tim: [nodding enthusiastically while Kon continues his story]

Clark: [looks on from a distance]

Jon: [a few seats away] Did I tell you we got a new cow on the farm?

Damian: [with interest] what did you name her?

Jon: We haven't decided yet, Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but pa and I-

Damian: [earnestly interested]

Clark: [side eyes Bruce who's sitting next to him going through reports]

Clark: Hey Bruce?

Bruce: [grunts]

Clark: did I tell you we got a new cow at the farm?

Bruce: [hums noncommitally and continues reading]

Clark: [strained] Kon wants to call her Dorothy, but I think we should call her Susie and Jon-

Bruce: [sighs exasperatedly]

Clark:

Clark: [rips the reports away from Bruce with super speed]

Bruce: What the hell?

Clark: You're such a bad friend!

Bruce: what?

Clark: why am I stuck with you when my children's bat friends are so nice?!

Bruce:

Clark: Look at Tim! He's so nice! Why can't you be like that?!

Bruce: You want me to be like Tim?

Clark: Or Damian!

Bruce: [rubbing his temples] You want me to be like Damian?

Clark: I want you to listen when I talk!

Bruce: you were talking about cows

Clark: that doesn't matter!

Bruce: It matters a little

Clark: Cows are interesting!

Bruce: Cows are the opposite of interesting.

Clark: Well, I'M interesting

Bruce:

Clark: Bruce, tell me I'm interesting.

Bruce: [gets up and starts walking away]

Clark: [shouts after him] Bruce! Tell me I'm interesting!

Bruce: [walks faster]

-a week later-

Wonder Woman: Are Batman and Superman having a fight?

Flash: yeah I think so. I don't know what about though

Martian Mindhunter: I believe Batman insulted Superman's cow

Wonder Woman: I see.

Black Canary: Sometimes I wake up at night and think about the fact that they are two of the most important members of an organization that protects the world from certain annihilation and then I can't go back to sleep

Green Lantern: [feet propped on the table, throwing almonds into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth] yeah it freaks me out too

Black Canary: [glances at Green Lantern] never leave us, Diana.

Doctor Doom rounds up the gang for a fun filled day of exacting revenge on their enemies.

jason having scratches on his back from reader and batfam noticing it and teases him about it

then the next time they see reader, theyre like "you should cut your nails" jokingly

I want him. So bad.

The night before he went to train with his family, Jason had fucked you against a wall. Not his brightest idea, but it’s not his fault! You were teasing him and he just had to fuck you! You were wearing his favorite lingerie! He couldn’t help himself. What was he supposed to do? Tell you no? Absolutely not.

In his defense, he didn’t realize you scratched his back so deep.

His family is a family of detectives, so it didn’t take them long to spot the deep red lines trailing down his back. It also didn’t help that he immediately took his shirt off to train. Dick tries to tell him gently, but Steph interrupts, “you look like you got mauled by a bear.”

Jason goes beat red. He tries to look over his shoulder and ends up spinning, looking like a dog chasing its tail. “Oh shit.” Dick tries to get Jason to stop by patting his back, but Jason ends up doubled over. “OW. FUCK. DICKHEAD.”

“Sorry, Jay!”

Tim starts laughing. “How the fuck did you not notice?”

Jason gets even more red. “I was preoccupied!”

Now everyone’s laughing at him.

Everyone goes silent when you open the door. “Jay, you left your work tablet at home. Hey-”

“Hey, Wolverine.” Duke starts snickering. You raise an eyebrow and look at Jason. He hangs his head and slowly turns around. You see his back and say nothing, just blinking. You turn and walk out the door. Fuck that.