So I Recently Bought The Revenge Of The Sith Novel By Matthew Stover And I Just Decided To Flip It Open

So I recently bought the Revenge of the Sith novel by Matthew Stover and I just decided to flip it open to a random page just to see what the writing was like. Boy was I unprepared for the iconicness I discovered.

The part I read was this of this old hunchback guy in a cloak walking towards clone troopers (this is after the troopers start killing jedi) with a baby in his arms. He starts telling the troopers that it’s a jedi baby and the troopers are like “uuuhhh okay crazy old man with a really ugly deformed baby alert back away” but the old guy keeps insisting that the baby is a jedi so the troopers are like “how do you know? it could just be any random baby” and then the baby says “you can tell by my lightsaber” and kills the troopers. The baby was actually Yoda and the hunchback was Obi Wan.

 All I can imagine now was the conversation that led up to this very dramatic and hilarious ruse, and how exactly they came up with it. I kind of feel like it was the Star Wars equivalent of “Get Help” from Thor: Ragnarok???? Like???

Obi Wan: Hey Yoda, we should do “Jedi Baby.”

Yoda: Doing that, we are not.

Obi Wan: Oh come on, you love it!

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: It’s great! It works every time!

Yoda: Humiliating, it is.

Obi Wan: Do you have a better plan?

Yoda: No.

Obi Wan: Excellent. We are doing it then.

Yoda: Doing “Jedi Baby” we are not.

……..

Obi Wan, 5 minutes later, cradling Yoda: Look! It’s a Jedi baby!

More Posts from Darkcat5923 and Others

1 year ago
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Written for @tarlos-spain, part of @tarlos-santa, beta-read by @meloingly

Title: The Gold Dragon  Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Tarlos Chapters/Length: 1/1 I 2064 words Rating/Tags: G.  Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Bit of canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Fluff, Tarlos Secret Santa Exchange (9-1-1 Lone Star) Summary:  Carlos was told, when he was a child, that everyone has got a soulmate. From the small marks of a rainbow and a unicorn with a green horn on his right arm and left leg, he was told it would be a unique one, too. His dad, Gabriel, told him that unicorns are unique and rare creatures, and he did hope that Carlos would find his soulmate.

1 year ago

Kinktober -- Dante Sparda

Y'all remember when I said I'd start off tame? I lied, I cannot be tame when I comes to Dante. I hope you all enjoy the first of my works for Kinktober, remember to read the warnings and enjoy!!

MDNI!!(18+)

WARNINGS: Stripping, mentions of wounds, mentions of blood, monster-fucking, face-sitting, choking, stomach bulge, begging, size kink if you squint.

-----------"These Marks Will Be Real Hard to Explain."------------

You had followed your orders like you always did. The demons Dante told you to kill were dead, but he didn’t tell you how dangerous it would be. The aching muscles and stinging wounds gave you enough to be mad about, but this wasn’t the first time Dante sent you out alone on a dangerous job.

You shift your weight to one leg and lean against the phone box wall. With furrowed brows you glance at the sea of dead demons outside, listening to the phone's dial tone. Finally, Dante picks up.

“Devil May Cry! How Can I-”

“Dante!” You shout, interrupting him.

You hear him chuckle, “Hey baby, how’s it going out there?”

“Why the hell did you give me this job? You said it would be easy, you piece of shit!”

Dante’s sigh could be heard over the line.

“Listen, baby, we both know you can handle a lot,” he chuckles. “Consider it a test, alright? Now quit your whining and come back.”

Dante never did act like he cared when he sent you out on jobs like this. No matter how big the horde he always had some excuse for putting your life in danger. His foolhardy attitude made your blood boil, and you weren’t going to settle for some shitty apology this time.

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ see you right now, Dante.” You hiss before hanging up.

To spite him, you took your time walking back to the building. You stopped to pet every dog, smell every flower, and sometimes you stopped to take in your surroundings. When you do reach the building, though, it looks empty. Glancing through the windows you see nothing; Dante’s not at his desk and Nero is nowhere to be found. Part of you is relieved, so you walk into the lobby with your head held high. The dusty interior and messy desk in front of you never ceased to make you feel sick, but today something about it sent a chill down your spine.

You quickly walk up the stairs as unease encompasses you. Thankfully, your room isn’t too far from the top and you’re able to slip inside without making too much noise. You ease up and make your way to your dresser to change, humming as you sift through the drawers.

“Thought you’d never come home, babe.” A voice says from behind you. You turn around with a gasp, and your eyes narrow at the sight of Dante. He’s standing in your doorway with a nasty look on his face, and you can’t help but laugh.

“I fuckin’ live here! I’d have to come home eventually.” You pause and grip the hem of your shirt, bringing it up and over your head to tease him. 

“Not for you, though.” You finish.

Dante’s jaw tenses and he steps further into the room. 

“Where were you?”

You turn your back to him with a smirk, unhook your bra, and let it fall down your arms. Dante was near ravenous as he admired the curvature of your spin, and the way your waist looked from behind made him painfully hard. 

Dante chuckles and closes the door. “Come on baby, talk to me.”

You hastily unbutton your pants, and the sudden warmth of Dante behind you makes you pause. His hands wrap around your waist so he can pull you close, and though you were angry with him, it was hard not to lean into his touch. How his hands made your body purr and your mind weak was a wonder to you.

“You know I never meant to put you in danger, dollface,” Dante whispers. His hands squeeze your sides while he turns you around to face him. You look at him with angry eyes to hide how bad your body aches for him.

Dante pushes a strand of hair behind your ear and smiles. 

“Tell me how to make it up to you.”

Your heart skips a beat as you stare at the white-haired man. For a moment, you think about asking for a nice date, and maybe some flowers. But, Dante’s hands on your bare skin remind you of how exposed you are, and your mind begins to wander. You brush Dante’s hair out of his face and cup his cheek.

“Make me cum, and maybe I’ll forgive you.”

Dante’s eyes light up and he nearly drools when your words hit his ears. He leans in to kiss you, but you stop him by putting a finger on his lips.

“Not yet.” You say to him with a smirk.

Dante’s brows furrow and he pouts.

“I gotta get you off before I can kiss you? That’s damn cruel.”

You laugh and move close to his ear, planting a kiss on his neck.

“Get to work, then.” You whisper before pushing him down and onto the bed. Dante hits the mattress with a smile and props himself up on his elbows. He watches you intently while you pull your pants off agonizingly slow. Dante starts unbuttoning his pants, but you place your hands on him to stop him.

“Nope,” you pause and crawl on top of him. “I’m not fucking you just yet.”

Dante stares up at you in awe, he never could get over how good your body looked. You grab his chin to make him look at your face, then move your face close to his as a means to tease him. Your free hand moves down to slip your panties off, and your needy cunt drips at the way he grits his teeth. Dante’s hands come up to grab your ass, but once again he’s shot down by you pulling them away. You bring his hands up over his head, pinning him down with a grin. 

Dante groans and looks at you confused. “The fuck are you doing?”

“Letting you apologize.” You mumble while moving your body up so that your hips are in line with his face. Dante smiles at the sight of your dripping cunt, and his cock aches knowing he can do nothing but submit to you. You lower yourself onto his face, sighing in sweet relief when Dante’s lips hit your pussy. He immediately goes to work, his tongue parting your folds and exploring every inch of your tight warmth.

You inhale sharply and begin to grind against his face. Dante lets out a low moan in response to your taste, and the intensity of his ministrations increases. Your fingers fall away from his wrists, finding their way into his hair so you can pull him closer to your cunt.

Your moans fuel Dante’s lust, and his tongue delves deeper into you while one of his now-freed hands makes its way to your clit. His fingers are relentless, teasing and pleasuring the sensitive nub. You gasp, and your moaning turns into needy whining as his tongue continues its relentless assault on your tight core.

It wasn’t often Dante ate you out like this, so it didn’t take long for your legs to shake and signify the approach of your climax. Dante smirked as he continued his teasing, anticipating the sweet taste of your cum. You let out a pathetic moan as you come undone, the tight warmth in your core bleeding through your contracting walls. Dante chuckles and savors every drop of your nectar while you ride out your high. Pride grew in him with every whimper you let out, and as you lifted your hips off him he couldn’t help but smile up at your messy cunt. 

You smile looking down at him; his eyes are half-lidded and his chin glistens with your juices. Dante laughs and sits up, stretching and popping his neck.

“So, am I forgiven babe?”

You smile and cross your arms. “Hmm, I dunno. I feel like you can do better than that.”

Dante raises a brow and leans in close to you.

“Better?”

You nod while your gaze darts between his lips and his eyes. He had made it up to you, and you had forgiven him, but you wanted more of him. His mouth fucked you perfectly, and the outline of his hard dick through his pants taunted your sensitive pussy.

Dante smirked and cupped your cheek. “Can I at least kiss you now?”

You blush and nod, unable to stop yourself from leaning in to kiss him. The taste of your cunt is still fresh on his lips, and something about it drove you crazy. His hands move to your waist, and as he holds you. You pull away and plant kisses on his jawline, moving down to his neck. Dante grips your sides and groans, relishing in your touch.

“Can I really do better, or do you just want more?” He questions.

You pull back to look up at him with hungry eyes. You bite your lip and glance at his throbbing bulge before leaning in to kiss his neck once more. Your lips move up to his ear and you bite his lobe, earning a low groan from him.

“I want more.” You whisper while your hands slide down his clothed body. Dante’s jaw tenses and his hands explore your tender flesh.

“How much more?”

You pull away to look at him, and a familiar red glare in his eye catches your attention. Dante smirks and pulls his shirt off before laying you down on the bed and forcing your legs open. You laugh as Dante moves between your legs and caresses your thighs. His hands are rough but soft enough to send a chill down your spine. You close your eyes to enjoy his touch as his fingers near your wet slit, but he stops right before he reaches it. 

“Baby?” He says in a deep, growly voice.

You look at him and gasp; the burly man that once kneeled in front of you is now a huge, red-eyed demon. You had seen him Devil Trigger before but never expected him to fuck you in it. Your eyes scanned him, and when they landed on his cock you nearly fainted. Dante was already big, but now his dick was as long as your forearm.

His clawed hands moved up and down your thighs to reassure you. Your pussy throbbed as he moved your knees up to your chest, and while he loomed over you his cock found its way to your entrance. Dante plants his hands on either side of your head, and you feel the tip of his cock at your entrance.

“Wait,” you look up at Dante with wide eyes. “Is it going to fit?”

Dante’s laugh is gravelly, and he brushes your hair back behind your ear.

“It will, baby.” He leans down close to your ear, and the heat coming off him further arouses you. You feel his cock part your folds and ease into you. Your back arches and you whine while he stretches you out.

Dante lets out a breathy moan. “Come on, baby. You can take it all, can’t you?”

Your eyes roll back in your head as he pushes further inside you. The wetness of your pussy helps him slide in, but the sensitivity left over from your orgasm lets you feel every inch of him. Your cunt aches as his tip hits your cervix, a depth Dante has never reached before.

Dante pushed himself back up so he could watch your tight pussy take his cock. He held your legs open as he began fucking your swollen cunt, smirking at the sight of his length disappearing inside you. You cover your mouth to stifle your moans, and as you look down to watch him ravage you he forces more of himself into you. Pain shoots through your core as a bulge appears in your lower stomach. 

Dante smirks and places one of his hands on the bulge, pressing down on it as he fucks you. The pleasure of his girth mixes with the pain of his thrusts, and you can’t help but scream. Your hips ache as Dante slams himself into you, and as he holds one of your soft thighs, his claws dig into your skin. You whine, tears forming in your eyes as he nearly draws blood. 

Dante laughs sadistically when he pulls out of you, looking down to admire how your cunt gapes. You feel your walls begging for him, so you lift your hips to grind against his length as a way of begging for more. Dante shakes his head and holds your hips still.

“Do you want it that bad? Can’t stand not having me inside you, huh?” He teases.

You breathe heavily while your body yearns for him, nodding pathetically. Dante laughs and brings a hand up to grab your face.

“Then beg for it.”

You move your hips again and let out a breathy moan before speaking.

“Please, Dante, I need your dick in me. Please-”

Dante cuts you off with a slap, and you look up at him with an angry expression.

“What the fuck was that for?” You whine.

“You know what to call me when I fuck you. Say it right this time.” He growls.

You clench your jaw and roll your eyes, which earns another slap from Dante.

“Quit acting like a little brat,” he starts as he grabs your face in one hand. “Fuckin’ say it right.”

You nod, giving in to him reluctantly.

“Please Master, I need you to fuck me, please.” You beg.

Dante laughs and teases you by rubbing your clit.

“Do you need it? Or are you just a slut for me?”

You roll your eyes at his words and he laughs. He lines his tip up with your entrance again, his thumb still rubbing circles into your clit. Right as he slams himself back into you his hands come up to your neck. Dante squeezes your throat just enough to make any moans come out at meer squeaks. 

Dante’s cock fucks you better than before, and as your head starts spinning you feel your second orgasm approaching. Your brows furrow and your vision becomes blurry, but you can see Dante’s sinister grin as he fucks you.

“I love your pussy, baby.” He mumbles as his thrusts become sloppy.

Dante rolls his hips into you and he groans, his hands squeezing tighter around your neck. He lets out a loud, hoarse moan as he cums deep in you. The warmth of his seed pushes you over the edge, and as you cum with him your vision becomes even blurrier. 

-

“Babe? Hey, sweetie, are you alright?”

Your head throbs as you open your eyes to Dante, now back to normal, peering down at you. He smiles seeing you awake and cups your cheek.

“Don’t get up just yet, alright?” He says sweetly.

You whimper and take a breath as you scan your surroundings. You lift your head up, and Dante helps the rest of your torso to follow. He rubs your back and combs his fingers through your hair. You turn to look at him, confused.

“What happened?”

Dante blushes and looks away.

“I got carried away.” He pauses and looks at you with soft eyes. “You passed out.”

You laugh and lean into his chest. “And you did that?”

Dante wraps his arms around you and nods. 

“Yeah..” he trails off and kisses your forehead. “Are you feeling alright though? I know it was the first time we’ve done that.”

You nod and kiss his chest. “I’m alright, I think I’ll be sore for weeks though.”

Dante laughs and uses a finger to lift your chin up. He scans your neck, then looks down at your thighs. His brows furrow as if he’s deep in thought, and you tilt your head at him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

Dante shakes his head with a smirk. “Nothin’. These marks will just be real hard to explain.”

1 year ago

Sacrifice

Chris Redfield x Sherry Birkin fic

Sacrifice
Sacrifice

Summary: Chris and Sherry were on their way through the Rocky Mountains to meet up with Leon for an upcoming mission, but when they stop for the night at a quaint inn, Chris disappears in the middle of the night. The leaves Sherry to find him and rescue him from whatever may have happened to him. All the while trying to figure out how to tell him how she feels about him.

Warnings: kidnapping, cults, human sacrifice, bad puns, violence, blood.

For @lyndibs

Chris always insisted on driving. It was his one thing he did that he wouldn't let anyone else do. She figured it was a Chris thing. Kind of like how she was always had her eggs sunny side up.

In this instance she didn't mind too much. It was the middle of the night and they'd been driving for three hours already after a 12 hour plane ride from Paris. It hadn't been as romantic as it seemed at first, chasing B.O.W.s rarely is. There had been a few moments that she was sure Chris was picking up on her feelings or even reciprocating them.

But they all ended up being about something else. Like when he grabbed her hand and ran with her down the street, it wasn't because he didn't want to lose her, she had fallen behind and was nearly crushed by a flying car thrown by a tyrant. Or when he pressed them against a wall and they were so close they could feel each other's heart beat. His lips had been right there, a small push up to her toes and they would have connected. It was because they were being followed and were giving the stalker the slip.

It seemed every time she got her hopes up, they were quickly dashed away by work.

Who knew B.O.W.s could be such cock-blocks.

"Hey, I'm pulling over here for the night," Chris said, pulling Sherry from her dozing. Opening her eyes, she take a deep breath and stretched in her seat as Chris pulled into a small inn that had a 24 hour light on as well as a Vacancy sign up.

"Alright. I'll message Leon to let him know we're stopping for the night," Sherry said as she worked her head side to side to loosen her muscles up a bit. She pulled out her phone to send the other agent a message that they were stopping for a bit and would be there in the morning. In true Leon fashion he sent back a thumbs up emoji.

Sliding from the SUV, Sherry saw Chris already had their over night bags and was walking towards the office door. Jogging ahead, she grabbed the door for him, getting a nod of thanks.

"Oh, hello!" The pair were greeted by a small, older lady that had long gray hair tied back into a bun on top of her head and big, round glasses perched on her nose. "I was wondering if we'd have guests this evening. How are you two, dearies?"

"Tired," Chris said, giving her a small smile. The man of few words wasn't without respect and courtesy, especially with a grandmother aged woman. "We'd like a room for the night please. We'll be leaving in the morning."

"Okie dokie," the woman said, shuffling over to a large, leather bound book. Sherry was sure the book was bigger than the woman, but the elderly lady was able to open it with a bit of grunting. "Alright, would you like a king or a queen bed? Our Honeymoon suite is available as well if you'd like to show off for your lady friend," she said, looking at Chris expectantly.

Maybe this was it. They had never shared a bed together, so maybe Sherry could get the courage to say something with them curled up against one another. Chris was large, but he could be so gentle and she was sure he would be an amazing snuggler.

"Two doubles actually, please" Chris said, shattering Sherry's fantasy of them sharing a bed.

Damn it.

"Two doubles it is. Ah yes. Here we go. Room 12. It's just up the stairs and to the left," the woman said as she marked down room 12 as occupied. Turning to look at the wall of keys, she picked out the room key to hand to Chris. "There you go. We ask that you pay in advance in case someone isn't here for check out. It is $100 for the night." Chris pulled out his wallet to pay her, giving the woman a crisp bill. "Thank you. If someone isn't here for when you're checking out, please drop the key in box by the stairs."

"Will do, thank you for you help," Sherry said as Chris picked up the bags again then lead the way up the stairs.

"Have a good night, you two. Sleep tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" The woman called after them as they walked up the stairs.

"You really didn't want to share the honeymoon suite with me?" Sherry asked, meaning to tease but also to feel Chris out a bit.

"Honeymoon suites are usually cheaply made and are least likely to be cleaned properly. I'd rather take my chances with a double," Chris said.

"Then why not a king or queen?" She asked as they walked down the hall towards their room.

"Because I know you're a cover hog and kick in your sleep," he said with a soft snort.

"True. She was really nice about trying to up sale us at least. I mean usually they try to add in all the bells and whistles and it gets aggressive. She seemed like a really sweet person," Sherry said.

"Just because someone's older, doesn't mean they're a good person," Chris said as he set down a bag to open their door.

"Well, I think she was adorable," Sherry said, closing and locking the door behind them.

"I'm gonna take a shower then head to bed. I suggest doing the same. We've got another four hours of driving tomorrow," Chris said as he opened his bag to pull clothes out.

"Tell me again why we couldn't get a flight to Colorado directly?" Sherry asked with a soft sigh as she pulled out her sleep clothes.

"Budget cuts," Chris said, giving her a small, playful smirk.

"Of course. Isn't that always the case?" She said with a giggle.

Chris nodded before he turned to head to the bathroom. Once the door was closed and the shower going, Sherry changed her clothes. She had grabbed a shower at the hotel they had been out when they first landed while Chris had been in meetings nonstop.

Changed into a tee shirt and sleep shorts, she was bent over and touching her toes when Chris walked out in just a towel. Standing up straight, she missed his faltering step as his eyes had gone right to her ass.

"Forgot my shorts," he mumbled, digging in his bag again.

"You're good," she said, working her shoulders a bit as a strange scent began to fill the room. It wasn't Chris' soaps. Those weren't that strong. "Hey, what's that smell?" She said, catching Chris's attention before he shut the bathroom door. It took a second before it really hit her, making her vision swim as she stumbled towards her bed, trying to grab something to steady her.

"Sherry!" Chris cried out as he tried to get to her, but he was over taken by the sweet smell too. He got to the side of her bed before falling to the floor with a groan.

"Chris," Sherry mumbled as she fell to the floor as well, everything going black.

When Sherry woke up, her head was throbbing and she didn't know what was happening. Rolling to her back, she slowly sat up. Still in their room, Sherry looked around before realizing she was alone.

"Chris!?" She cried, scrambling up despite the headache she had. He was no where to be found. Their things were still there, but no Chris. All that was left was the towel he'd been wearing, so where could he have gone? Changing into more appropriate clothes, she found that their guns were gone as well as their knives, but they always had back ups. Digging in her bag, she pulled the zipper on the secret compartment to get to her guns, hip holsters, and knife before digging in Chris' bag for his guns and shoulder holsters to put them all on.

If Chris was gone, but the towel was still there then he'd probably need some clothes and shoes. Grabbing his bag, she extended the strap to sling the bag over her head and shoulder. Now she just had to find Chris. Her bag was useless so she left it behind as she walked out the door to creep downstairs. The old lady was still there, humming to herself as she puttered around small area behind the check in counter.

Chris had been right, just because someone was a cute, old person didn't mean they were good.

Gun drawn, she went down the stairs as the woman had her back to her.

"Turn around!" She snapped. The older woman turned around to see Sherry with a gun aimed at her head. "Where is Chris? The man that was with me, where is he?"

"Oh that Dennis," the woman frowned, grumbling like some kid had been naughty and didn't have a gun pointed at her. "I told him to take care of you, but my son said the gas would keep you knocked out longer."

"Listen lady, where's my partner!" Sherry snapped, not wanting to let her guard down.

"He's already dead, don't get your panties in a wad," the woman said with a sigh, waving her off.

"Dead? What are you talking about?" Sherry asked, refusing to believe Chris was dead. If the hoards of the undead couldn't wipe out Chris Redfield, some old lady and her son certainly couldn't.

"He was perfect for the sacrifice," the woman said. "You know, usually we get those hipsters that are so lean and gamy, but your friend was perfect for our Lord's first meal on Earth."

"Enough talking, where is Chris?" Sherry demanded, cocking her gun.

"Dennis! See, I told you that you can't lolly gag around," the woman said, looking just past Sherry.

Spinning on her heel, Sherry saw a large behemoth of a man. He was big, bigger than Chris even. His eyes were hidden behind a mess of black, stringy hair that hung around his head in a curtain as he stomped towards her with clenched fists that looked like they could be used as sledge hammers.

"Damn it," she hissed, not hesitating to fire on him. Six rounds had him stumbling to the ground as he screamed in pain.

"Dennis! My baby!" The woman cried as she launched herself over the counter at Sherry. "I'll rip your pretty, blue eyes out!" She shrieked. The woman didn't get far though as Sherry wasn't a damsel in distress and knew how to fight just as well as Chris.

"I don't think so," Sherry grunted, kicking the woman away. She was quick to get on her, pinning her down with her knee. "Where's Chris!?"

"It's too late. Our Lord Aries is on his way and soon the Earth will be cast into his red dawn and blood will rain-" Sherry pistol whipped the babbling woman, knocking her out.

"Why do they always have to talk too much?" She sighed as she stood up. Going to the counter, she moved behind it to try and see if there were any clues there. Sure enough, a squeaky, loose board could be pulled up. Under it was a button and when Sherry pushed it, the back wall with the keys slid to the side to reveal a secret staircase.

Time was running out and she couldn't risk second guessing. So Sherry kept her gun at the ready as she ran down the stairs.

There were four sets of stairs to go down and she wondered what the hell she would find at the bottom. Her question was answered when she got to the last step to found an open door way. She could hear people chanting in the next room as she crept closer to peek around the corner.

Looking into the stone room with dark archways on either side, there were at least 15 people that she could count, all dressed in dark red robes. Chris was at the front of the room, tied and gagged while nude to a pillar with wood surrounding it.

Were they going to burn him alive!? There wasn't any time to guess their end game as she heard screaming coming from above her. It was now or never.

"Hey assholes!" She cried, rushing in with her guns pulled. "That's my partner you're about to barbeque and I'm the only one allowed to roast him!"

The people turned to see her, pulling up their own weapons of staffs and large knives, but that didn't matter. Sherry was a crack shot and even running, she was able to shoot most of them if they stayed to fight or came at her. A few tried to surprise attack her, but she was not having it.

The annoyance at herself for not saying anything to Chris about them when she had the chance as well as him skipping out on them getting a king sized bed together, combined with the fact the first time she saw him naked was right then when he was trussed up like some Faye Ray wannabe ready for the rescue, it was all pissing her off. Which made it all the more satisfying to slam her fist into some idiot's face to knock him on his ass.

Once they were all lying on the floor, groaning or bleeding or dead, she hopped up through the gasoline soaked wood to Chris.

Oh, he was very naked and try as she might, she couldn't help but have seen him. 'Good luck trying not to think of that later,' she thought to herself.

"Usually you're the one pulling me out of harms way," she said, pulling her knife to cut him free. "Also brought you presents." Keeping her eyes averted, she held out the bag of clothes for him.

"Thanks, Sherry," Chris said, grunting as he took the bag then quickly dressed. "You're a life saver."

"Don't mention it," she chirped. As he pulled on his shoulder holsters and checked his gun, he looked to her.

"Look, Sherry, uh about the bed thing-"

"You bitch!"

The two of them looked towards the door to see the elderly woman standing there with a rifle.

"You ruined everything! Everything! I will do it myself!" She screamed as she raised the gun and fired it at Chris.

"Chris, no!" Sherry cried, jumping in front of him to take the bullet to her back.

"Sherry!" Chris cried out as he caught her. He pulled her gun from her hand to shoot the older woman. She tried to fire first, but Chris was faster, sending a bullet between her eyes. "Sherry, talk to me, come on," he said, laying her down on her belly as blood soaked her shirt in the back.

"It's okay," Sherry wheezed as Chris began to panic. His hands were pressing to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. "Don't worry about me."

"Not happening. I'm always going to worry about you," he said, pulling his jacket off to help soak up blood. "We're gonna get out of here. I promise."

"Chris, stop. It doesn't matter," Sherry said, trying to reach for his hand.

"No, it does matter," Chris said, grabbing her hand with his bloody one in a tight grip. "You matter, Sher. Please, just hold on, okay?"

"You gotta let go of me, Chris," Sherry said, trying to take a deep a deep breath under the pressure of Chris pushing on her.

"I'm not letting you go! I can't! I won't!" He cried, refusing to let up. "Please, I can't lose you."

"Chris. . ." Sherry said softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, kissing her hand. "I love you and I should have said it before now and acted like it."

"I love you, but you have to stop pressing on my back. I can't breathe," she said with a groan.

"What?" He said, frowning.

"Chris, I can heal myself, remember?" Sherry said, looking up at him as he stared down at her. "I'm fine, but you're squeezing the air out of me."

How the hell did he forget that?

"Oh, uh, sorry," he said, letting go of her. As he did, the bullet sat in the small of her back like it hadn't been inside her at all. "Well, uh. . ."

"I meant it," Sherry said as she pushed herself up to her knees in front of him. "What I said."

"Yeah?" Chris said, smiling softly. "I meant it too."

"Good, because otherwise this would have been awkward."

Sherry leaned in to kiss him, resting her hands on his chest. It wasn't hard or needy, but it was perfect for them. His lips were rough, needing balm as he pressed back against her fuller ones, cupping her face to return the affection.

"Let's get out of here and go to a Holiday Inn. I'm pretty sure there's no cults in those," Chris said after pulling away.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need a shower," Sherry said, making a face down at herself.

"I'll help if you want me to," he said, raising a brow.

"I'm sure you would," she said with a snort.

3 years ago
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection
Hey Tumblr Long Time No Art! :O Sometimes I Just. Forget I Have A Page Here. Anyways, Here’s A Collection

hey tumblr long time no art! :O sometimes I just. forget I have a page here. anyways, here’s a collection of all the Star Wars mermaids I did for mermay last month :) the sw brainrot consumes my every waking moment

2 years ago

Batfamily x Pokémon

image

Genre; Fluff

Summary; Batfamily Members with their teams of Pokémon

Includes; Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas, Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain

This is so self-indulgent, but I hope everyone else likes it

Keep reading

1 year ago

The remake's pretty cool.

The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.
The Remake's Pretty Cool.

I just kept thinking of hot topic when i saw some of their costumes. Leon's villain outfit can get it ngl.

1 week ago

Hello, author. Would it be possible to request an established relationship Dante or Vergil x feminine male!reader who has emotional dependency and who, for years, was almost like a prostitute/courtesan to demons ? The reader tends to make a lot of sexual advances out of fear of being abandoned and not being desirable enough for their boyfriend. The reader has a devoted, polite, and gentle personality, with a mix of fluff and hurt to comfort if possible. I hope this request doesn't make you uncomfortable, dear author, Have a good day 🌷

DEVIL MAY CRY - DANTE SPARDA | VERGIL SPARDA

The requested scenario for BOTH of the twins :3

WORDCOUNT: Around 1k for each

Authors Note: Visit my Ko-Fi if you want to support me, or if you want to comission a personalised, private story!

Hello, Author. Would It Be Possible To Request An Established Relationship Dante Or Vergil X Feminine

Dante x feminine!Male!Reader | established relationship

Dante knew what you were like. He knew the way you acted, what you usually were like around him, the things you'd do and say. In just a few months, he'd learned to read you like a book. Dante also knew your past. You'd opened up about it slowly, timid about his reaction, even though you knew he wouldn't judge you. You couldn't help it, really. Life had prepared you to be expecting everything and everything.

Emotionally dependent reader Former demon prostitute/courtesan reader fear Of abandonment Reader: devoted, polite, gentle Fluff/ Hurt Comfort

When you had told Dante that you'd practically been a prostitute for Demons, he'd been mad. Not at you, never at you, more so at anyone that dared to give you bad experiences in life. Dante had figured that you weren't completely trauma free - you were hanging around him, after all - but he hadn’t expected anything like what you opened up to him about.

Something Dante had started to notice these last few days, though, is how you seemed to always cling to him, how you tried to initiate intimate moments more often, the way you'd look at him every time he wasn't in the mood. He hadn’t minded at first, hell, in all honesty, he liked how active you were, but after a while he noticed your patterns. You initiated intimacy whenever either of you had been upset at the other, or whenever he hadn't been able to hang out with you as much as usually, whenever he was too busy… It became a little suspicious. You'd get upset whenever he'd reject, seemingly more at yourself than at him.

One evening was especially bad. He'd been out for a long mission, drained and hungry, covered in blood. You'd come to him, humming about taking a shower, gingerly wrapping your arms around him, lips pressed against his neck. He sighed, knowing that while he loved when you were like this, he really just wanted to shower and then pass out in bed. He told you as much as he parted with you, pressing a swift kiss against your forehead before disappearing into the bathroom.

He found you later, once he'd gotten dried up and dressed in his sleep clothes - which were only acceptable and without holes because you'd pushed him to get some proper pyjamas instead of sleeping in his boxers and old shirts all the time. The lights in your shared hoke were turned off, but you weren't in bed. Usually, you'd have a few lights or candles on while you snuggled up on the couch. Lights off was only for bedtime with you.

You still sat on the couch, though, sniffling softly to yourself. Dantes whole face fell as he realised you were crying. “...Love, what's wrong..?” He muttered as he stepped towards you, carefully seating himself beside you. You sniffled again, immediately smuggling against him. “... do you not love me…?” You mumble, voice muffled by his shirt as you press your face into his shoulder. Dante almost thinks he didn't hear you right, wrapping his arms around you, pressing you against his chest. “Baby, my dear sweet boy, why would you think that…?” He questions, running his fingers through your hair. “...you don't want me…” You sob, tears staining Dantes shirt. The gears in his head started turning as he pulled you into his lap. “Love, listen to me. I love you. I want you, all the time, but sometimes I'm tired, or I'm not in the mood, not because I don't love you anymore, it just happens, yeah?” He mumbles, pressing a few soft kisses against the top of your head. You're still sniffling, so he tilts your head a little to kiss your forehead too.

“I just… whenever you don't want me I think you don't love me-” You start, new tears dwelling in your eyes as you look up at him. He shushes you, gently brushing your tears away. He slipped his fingers into your hair, gently running his digits through the soft strands, twirling them around the tips carefully.

“I swear to you, I will never stop loving you. You dont even need to think that, yeah? You're so much more than your body, and our relationship is so much more than just physical, you hear me?” He hums, keeping his voice careful and gentle yet the way he looked into your eyes left no room for discussion.

You press your face into his shoulder again, clinging to his shirt as you let the last few tears slip down your cheeks. You knew he meant it, but it was so hard to genuinely believe. “My sweet boy…” Dante sighs, placing yet another kiss against the top of your head, breathing in before pulling away, consoling you with a hand on your back. “I love you. I always will, yeah?” He mumbles against your hair, softly tugging you closer as he feels your hands tangle into his shirt - somehow you still managed to be mindful of not bunching it up too much.

He let you calm down slowly, murmuring soft words and pressing gentle kisses whereever he could reach. The moonlight softly shone into the living room, illuminating the scene in its gentle light. It took you a while to properly calm down, sniffling softly, stray tears staining Dantes shirt. “You wanna go to bed..?” The white haired mumbles, gently carding his fingers through your hair. You nod after a moment, clinging to him. He chuckles lightly, wrapping his arms around you so he could pick you up and carefully carry you to bed. “My clingy boy, hm? You're so sweet… so adorable…” Dante mumbles carefully as he laid you down, smiling as he snuggled against you, wrapping the blankets around you in the way he knew you liked.

“I love you…” you mutter softly, feeling him press a kiss against your forehead. “I love you too… get some sleep, love, mhm?” Dante responds, pressing a kiss against your forehead, letting you drift off to sleep in his arms, feeling like the happiest man in the whole world.

Hello, Author. Would It Be Possible To Request An Established Relationship Dante Or Vergil X Feminine

Vergil x feminine!Male!Reader | established relationship

Emotionally dependent reader Former demon prostitute/courtesan reader fear Of abandonment Reader: devoted, polite, gentle Fluff/ Hurt Comfort

Vergil wasn't usually this concerned about you. You were his boyfriend, indeed, but you could take care of yourself, no matter how much trouble you got yourself in with your niceness. So, he never worried about you. Not much, anyway. There was a reason you were his boyfriend, and not anyone else. Behind that facade of pure and utter gentleness was still a strong will. However, lately you had been acting… off. Vergil hadn't noticed at first - he had been a lot busier these last few days, he didn't have the time to indulge in your unimportant desires. Sex wasn't something he needed, nor wanted regularly. Not by now, anyway. He did accept that he had been… Impulsive, before.

What Vergil had noted early into your relationship, was how needy you were. You wanted to be around him most of the time, touch him in one way or another. It was important to you, he knew that. He did let you have your moments, did let you be all over him for an hour or two, but he was a busy man, always had been, and you had to deal with that. It wasn’t about Vergil being heartless, more about him having clear boundaries you just had to accept. He was a lot different from you, after all. He needed his time to himself, to think, to plan, to just rest and relax. You often seemed to dislike his habits, but you never said anything. Never even as much as shoot him a nasty glance, you always stayed calm and soft. Vergil liked that about you, you were pliant. Soft.

This evening was only slightly different. Vergil had come home late, feeling tired and defeated after having learned that yet another of his plans wouldn't work out the way he had strategised. His hair was out of place, blue eyes already zoned out as he perfected his plan. You had made dinner, grinned at him widely as he stepped through the door, doting on him the second he had shrugged off his coat. Soft kisses against his cheeks, hands brushing over his sides - he knew these signs, knew they meant that you wanted him. He let you lead him to the kitchen, ate a few bites of the rather delicious food you made. Your foot nudged his under the table, he scowled slightly. “My dear, I don't think I've got time for.. this behaviour tonight.” He hums nonchalantly, as if telling you about the weather, as if it didn't make your whole world crumble just a little more. You don't answer, simply get up, mutter something about not being hungry anymore and hide away in the bedroom.

He didn't love you. You were so sure of that now. Surely, he was too busy thinking of everything but you. That's why he always stayed in his study. That's why he came home late, and didn't even give you a kiss whenever he stepped through the door. You knew Vergil was… special, but this wasn't being special. This was him blatantly not wanting you. It hurt you, it hurt like hell. You wanted him, wanted to love him, to show him how good you could be, but he wouldn't let you. Wouldn't let you give him what you knew he surely also needed - he was a man, after all. He couldn't be that different from the other men you'd met throughout your life.

You'd learn, though, that Vergil was indeed very different. You'd snuggled into the covers of your shared bed, sniffling softly. You weren't loud, too afraid of accidentally letting the man a few doors away know you were being such a crybaby about this simple situation. Tears stained your pillow - you had half a mind to think about having to turn it to the other side once you'd try to sleep. It didn't come to that, however. What it came to, was Vergil walking in after long hours in his study, late at night. You had frozen up once the door opened, tears still running down your cheeks.

You felt the mattress dip under his weight as he settled into bed beside you, wrapping an arm around you - he was actually cuddling against you. Something he usually never did. Did he… think you were asleep? You felt him place soft kisses against your jaw and the back of your neck, a soft smile on his lips. “My pretty boy…” He mumbles, voice deep from exhaustion. “So damn adorable… All mine…” He continues, snuggling his face into your hair comfortably. Vergil was weirdly clingy, arms wrapped around you tightly as he pressed lazy kisses against the skin he could reach. You don't dare to move, not wanting to ruin this moment, too scared Vergil would act like nothing happened and just pull away.

You basked in the moment for a few minutes, feeling Vergil rest and breathe against you - this has probably been the closest he's ever stayed to you for this long. “...you know I love you, right…?” Vergil suddenly mumbles, pressing a kiss against your cheek. He halts, huffing. “...were you crying?” He scowls slightly. You didn't know what to answer - had he not thought you were asleep? Did he know you had been awake the whole time and still snuggled so close to you? “...sorry…” You mutter silently, wiping the remnants of your tears away in an attempt to hide them. “Why were you crying?” Vergil questions, sitting up a bit. “Just.. nothing important..” you answer, trying to dodge the question - Vergil wouldn't take it, though. “Answer me.” He huffs coldly. “... just… Sometimes it feels like.. you don't want me…” You mumble, voice so silent you almost think he didn't hear you. Vergil doesn't answer for a moment, before he sighs heavily. “... I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't… realise how much I… hurt you. I will be better in the future, I promise you.” He speaks, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. “You will never cry because of me again, I promise it. I'm sorry, love.” He sighs, snuggling back against you. “I think I just… needed some time to get used to… This… but, I really do love you… Even if I dont show it that much…” You sigh in relief, pressing against him, worries lifted - or at least you know they'll be worked on from now.

Hello, Author. Would It Be Possible To Request An Established Relationship Dante Or Vergil X Feminine
1 year ago

Could you do maybe Alastor having you sit on his lap for a while only to then start bouncing his leg and forcing you to basically hump his thigh to get off? He’s so hot istg

a/n: gnawing at the bars of my enclosure over this. got carried away 😭 this is not proof read whatsoever lol.

REQUESTS OPEN 🩷

tags: 18+ smut, semi-public/public, slight degradation, thigh humping

alastor was never one for PDA, or at least he thought so. Until he met you, and was enamored with your every move, every touch. he didn't much care for sharing you, but little miss princess of hell was on a tangent of making the hotel inhabitants spend "quality bonding time" together at least once a month.

so here you all sit for a movie night, everyone paired off in their own comfy corner while some silly movie played on the old tv projector. alastor hated these events for multiple reasons, but he at least was able to enjoy having you sit snug on his lap. he doesn't even realize he's doing it at first, but he's been bouncing his leg for the last several minutes, and it's been slowly driving you mad.

the friction has you letting out a shudder, your loose pajama shorts not doing much to prevent your pussy from feeling every slide of his thigh. this finally catches alastor's attention, his hands snaking around your waist to anchor you in place. "what's the matter? not comfortable, love?" he mocks, keeping his voice faint so the others don't hear. his leg bounces with more purpose now and you're forced to put your hand over your own mouth.

you shake your head to answer his question but when you try to remove yourself from his lap, his grip around your waist tightens almost painfully. you're sure there's a wet spot on your shorts, threatening to spread to alastor's pants as well, especially when you feel his claws digging ever so slightly into the soft flesh of your stomach. "stay." he grumbles, watching the way your hips twitch with every slow drag of his thigh.

"naughty thing, you are. in front of our friends?" his breath tickles your ear while you nervously glance around the room. no one seems to notice you're about thirty seconds from cumming all over alastor's lap, but the thought of anyone knowing was working you up even further. you can't help it, your body moving on it's own as it seeks out the sweet friction of alastor's warmth beneath you. "t-touch me, please." you manage, finding your orgasm would come faster if he'd just slip his hand in between your thighs.

alastor has to muffle his laugh as to not alert the others. "no can do, darling." his hips meet yours, and you let out a small gasp when you feel his cock pressing stiffly against your ass. all you'd have to do it pull your shorts to the side and he'd be in you already. "needy little whores can get themselves off if they so desire." the growl in his voice is almost enough to push you over the edge on it's own, but the way he forces your hips forward and back on his bouncing thigh certainly helps.

with each drag, your core tightens. the familiar heat pools low in your gut. and when your orgasm finally rolls through you, alastor clamps a hand over your mouth while the other continues pulling your hips into his. your whole body shakes, eyes rolling into the back of your head as alastor pulls your back flush against his chest. your heaving breaths are a dead giveaway, along with the bright red flush to your cheeks. luckily, everyone seems to be happily involed with the movie and none the wiser to your dirty little secret.

alastor releases his grip and watches you sink into his chest. his cock pressed painfully into your back still, and its taking all of your willpower not to impale yourself on it. and honestly? if no one heard any of that, would they hear anything if you slipped it in? it was too tempting not to try. "a-al please." you whisper, biting your bottom lip. "n-need you still." alastor always said he was a man of strong resolve, but you were his biggest weak spot.

with a soft sigh, alastor wiggles a hand between your bodies and releases his cock from his own pajamas while you pull your shorts to the side. with another glance around the oblivious room, you finally feel that slow, delicious slide of alastor's cock filling you so deep as you sit yourself down. his hands find your hips once more, holding you down with ease.

"don't you dare move a muscle, you hear me darling? you're getting more than you deserve right now. be good, maybe you'll get to have my seed filling you." you clench around him, earning a sharp intake of breath and his nails to dig into you once more. you nod in understanding and try to put your attention back onto the screen, but the feeling of alastor's cock pressed so snug and deep inside your cunt has you seeing stars.

once he's seen that you do intend to listen, he sneaks a hand down the front of your shorts and toys with your still sensitive clit. it's enough to have your whole body shivering, shaking in his lap as you fight off the desire to moan out his name. you grind your hips this time, unable to stop your body from seeking more pleasure.

its only a matter of a few more minutes before alastor's has you coming undone in his lap, your second orgasm not quite as strong but still enough that you bite your lip hard enough to bleed so you don't scream. alastor's follows soon behind you, your tight walls milking out every drop of cum into the deepest parts of you. it's intoxicating, you physically feel dizzy as you come back to your senses and realize alastor really just came in you while in front of all your friends.

in a panic, you want to scramble off of his lap but alastor holds you to him. "you want to run off with my cum dripping out of you? sit. we'll handle this later." the cold sound of his voice post orgasm makes you almost whine. he always sounds so hot after cumming, like the lust takes over his voice and just-

"oh! you guys are out of popcorn! i will be right back." charlie's voice pulls you from your erotic daydream and back into the world of- holy shit you just had sex in front of everyone-

alastor chuckles. "why thank you charlie! such a kind and considerate host. maybe bring us a... salty little treat as well." he winks to the princess, who just smiles and trots off for more snacks.

meanwhile, you're ready to die of embarrassment.

3 years ago
Stickers! Woof. I Think I Set Everything Up Correctly But Please Feel Free To DM If There Are Any Issues! 

Stickers! Woof. I think I set everything up correctly but please feel free to DM if there are any issues! 

https://www.redbubble.com/people/LeeLeeBeeSW/shop?asc=u&ref=account-nav-dropdown

3 years ago
!Warning! Finished Game Will Ne NSFW So All Members Joining My Discord Must Be 18+ A Demo Version Of

!Warning! finished game will ne NSFW so all members joining my discord must be 18+ A demo version of this game will be posted when it is ready and will be free to play to everyone, however the finished game will published in a way to best keep people who are under 18 from playing it, so for information on how you will be able to access this game when it is finished the best thing you can do is join the discord.

https://discord.gg/resCuyc224

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