Sometimes I Worry That My Love For Dc Is Just More Of A Batfam Thing And Then I Nearly Cry When I See

There are a lot of fics about the Justice League finding out about Batman's children via a series of circumstances leading to Nightwing joining the League (usually against Batman's will)

and I LOVE this trope, don't get me wrong, but I'd like to imagine a situation where it doesn't happen like that. I want a situation where Nightwing joins the League, but he and Batman play it off well enough that the JL doesn't put them together. They notice that they work well together, sure, and Batman seems to trust Nightwing easier than the other new members, but no one questions it because Nightwing is good.

And the JL reaches a point where it's been months or even years and they still don't know.

Until Nightwing gets hurt. They've seen him hurt before, but he gets hurt. Bleeding out, affected by fear toxin, whatever, the point is, he's in bad shape. And Nightwing - strong, crooked grin, happy facade - screams. He screams for his dad - a word that he never uses, but that doesn't matter now, because he's scared, and he's hurt, and he just wants to go home.

And nobody knows what to do. Every single League member very quickly realizes that they know nothing about this guy. Everyone wonders about Batman because he seems so mysterious, but Nightwing always seemed so open, and it's only in that moment that they realize they have no actual information on him.

But that only last for a split second, because, of course Batman reacts first. He runs to his side and starts to stabilize his injuries while assuring him in a voice that they've never heard before, a voice that is distinctly not his Batman growl, that he's right there and it's all going to be okay.

And Nightwing... well, he stops calling out for his father. And he doesn't stay in the watchtower infirmary after that. When they ask Batman where he took him, he just tells them home.

Nightwing's back a few months later, and that's when they start asking him if he's really Batman's kid, and he just smiles the same crooked grin and says, Of course. You didn't know?

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

Hot and Probably Controversial Take

Saying “hear me out” about The Ghoul is about the same as saying “hear me out” about Mothman.

Because I’m in this crazy before sleep mood can I talk about how much I love the current World’s Finest series. It’s the only comics I’m really buying right now cause I love them so much and can’t wait.

They can be really silly but I really love them. I love the dynamics between characters, I love how Bruce and Clark are so close, how Dick is just so fun, the doom patrol is there!

Also Dan Mora’s art is so gorgeous. I literally carry the trade copy with me all the time cause I love it so much. It’s my neurodivergent carry book.

Hot Take, I think the Bruce fires Dick retcon makes no sense and takes away from both characters.

Like why would Bruce be “oh I don’t want to lose my kid so I’ll fire him” and then adopt another kid and let them be Robin. That makes no sense at all?!

And it completely screws up Dick’s whole thing. Like Dick is supposed to represent freedom and independence. Him being fired takes away his agency in that moment and completely undermines his character motivations.

Also the departure does not have to be good. It can be a mess and Bruce and Dick can fight about it. I just want it to be Dick’s choice, because I feel like that fits better narratively.

So yeah the only thing I liked from Nightwing Year One was how he got the name Nightwing. Also in my Earth au thing Dick does still leave on his terms. I might write about my Earth someday I have like a full timeline.

Personal headcanon

Bruce is no taller than 6’0. He wears lifts as Batman to make himself more intimidating.

(Personally I would love it if he was either 5’11 or 5’10 but idk 6’0 sounds about right too)

Oh my goodness this looks so cute!!!

I'm going insane, does anyone remember the fancomic of clark kent becoming a comic artist and just draws cats for the daily planet? it has bruce wayne in it and he gives clark a peptalk???

I've been trying to find it for ages but I can't!! find!! it!!

Green Lantern: You know, most Superheroes are cornered into the job by moral obligations because of how powerful they are, but... aren't you just like, a normal guy? Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you gave up the vigilante life to just take it easy?

Batman: Well--

Nightwing, suddenly vaulting into the conversation from across the room: No, no, NO, the last time we pretended to be a normal family for an hour, we played Trivial Pursuit and it ended with an arrow through the living room TV. None of us even fight with arrows. We're freaks that need to fight crime, don't take that away from us.

Listen I have my own world for all the dc stuff. It’s an entirely different earth. This comic series has literally multiple multiverses. Let us have fun!

Also as someone who reads the comics, my guy there are so many comics. There is 80+ years of comics here. They have done literally everything, let people have fun. This is how new stories are created for these characters. There’s a comic about medical fantasy dc characters. Future State was a cyberpunk hell. Like there are so many comics.

“that’s not accurate to the comics!!” I couldn’t care less, these r my dolls and I will do whatever I want to them, i’m playing house goddamnit!! lemme live in my delusions!! It’s called feeding ur inner child!!!

Justice League Lollipop

They would all have their logos (or closest equivalent)

Wonder Woman’s is something sweet but sort of rare when it comes to lollipops. I’m thinking maybe simple honey or maybe an ice cream flavored lollipop by her request. Strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla swirl!

Superman’s is a classic flavor and I feel like his would be red of some kind. Cherry! Maybe it’s just cherry or maybe they spice it up with cola cherry. I feel like the iconic superman needs an iconic flavor. (Also I feel like cherry would just be Clark’s favorite in general)

Batman’s is a little ridiculous. I want it to be something silly, like black currant. He only agreed to this cause the others wanted to and all the proceeds were going to charities. So he chose black currant or maybe just black berry. (I wanna lean black currant and blame Alfred for it) (black currant isn’t bad, I like it, it’s just feels over the top for a lollipop)

Green Lantern won a bet with Green Arrow and got green apple for his. It fits his theming. Poor Ollie got stuck with lime. He hates lime.

Black Canary doesn’t really have a logo so hers is just a lollipop in the shape of her head. She decided to go lemon because she loves lemon flavored candy (sour heads!!!) and she’d match with Ollie. Win win scenario.

Flash had to be something super sweet. He probably had a million ideas for this so he had to settle with one… he chose strawberry lemonade with a hint of spice. Yeah this is insanity on a stick but he loves them! He has the watchtower stocked up all the time.

This is getting really long I’ll continue in another post.