I Need Bruce Doing Things He Believes Is Completely Out Of Character For Batman Just To Scare People.

I need Bruce doing things he believes is completely out of character for Batman just to scare people. Like full on just putting Brucie into Batman as revenge against the annoyances he’s received.

Hal walks into the meeting room early for once and sees Batman kicking his feet a doodling in his lead lined notebook with a sparkly gel pen.

Hal: “uhhh”

Batman: “Hi GL~”

Hal: flees

By the time the meeting comes around Batman is once again the stoic scary man he always is. Hal is half convinced that it was a hallucination of some kind, maybe lack of sleep or that bagel that Barry dared him to eat.

The meeting ends and everyone is just hanging out. Hal goes over to talk to Barry when he swears he hears Batman’s voice say “no one will ever believe you” in his ear. Hal doesn’t sleep well for a week.

(Batman is very smug about it, that’s what he deserves for eating his bagel. Alfred made the spread for it.)

Tags

batman justice league bruce wayne dc comics dcu dc universe Barry Allen batman au brucie wayne green lantern crack jla crack treated seriously hal jordan this is so dumb stupid thoughts might add more later stupid au i might add to this later

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Green Lantern: You know, most Superheroes are cornered into the job by moral obligations because of how powerful they are, but... aren't you just like, a normal guy? Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you gave up the vigilante life to just take it easy?

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batman justice league comics dick grayson bruce wayne dc comics batfamily nightwing superheroes green lantern my tags god they need enrichment if they stop fighting crime they’ll lose their minds

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daemonmage

1 year ago

Oh my god I love it

Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman you identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”

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daemonmage

9 months ago

bruce wayne fans watching him be reduced to a shitty abusive emotionless father/mentor and retaining little to none of his personality traits and morals for the 6372737282 time in a row (they’re running out of ways to defend him)

Tags

batfam batman <prev tags bruce wayne dc comics dc my tags like dude mentally ill people in dc get treated like shit and unfortunately batman/bruce isn’t an exception bruce fans work overtime to defend that little weirdo and it gets harder everyday I’ve never realized how terribly dc write mental illness or neurodivergence like every character that works differently is not written well I know I shouldn’t expect good in depth writing from seralized stories but like I’ve seen better in this series I know they can do better I’m just so disappointed in a lot of recent Batman writing hell not just Batman it feels like a lot of writing from dc recently that’s why I like world’s finest it’s been pretty good so far I hope it stays that way

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daemonmage

1 year ago

Batman hates being carried, so everyone carries him every chance they get with various results.

Superman gets away with a lot, so does Wonder Woman.

The Lanterns get various results. They either they get the normal begrudging acceptance (Jessica, John, Kyle) or the get the glare TM (Hal, Guy)

Flash doesn’t even try.

Tags

batman clark kent superman bruce wayne dc comics dc dcu dc flash wonder woman Diana Prince green lantern dc headcanon

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daemonmage

1 year ago

Dear god.. what have I done.

Commander Shepard should not be allowed to drive.

- Commander Shepard

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daemonmage

1 year ago

This is everything I want and more.

Bruce: Batman will be a cryptid. An urban legend, designed to strike fear in the hearts of criminals.

Bumper stickers in Gotham City:

"Batman ate my entire ass at a Big Belly Burger"

"Half man. Half bat. All friend."

"Batman is real. We made out. He is a gentle and caring lover."

Bruce: ... Alfred, I think I made a mistake.

Tags

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9 months ago