Anya Spoke Of Pride, Of The Strength Of Standing Alone. Dacey Was No Stranger To Self-imposed Isolation,

his mask slipped a little, and while she felt a pang of guilt, it was not enough to offer to swap back. in this matter, dacey decided she would be completely selfish. "you can always take it off, if it's too cumbersome for you," there was a faux innocence laced in her tone. "i'd be happy to take it off your hands. for the purposes of the competition, of course." her arm slid through his, leading him to the festival games and looking for something aleks might excel in. "what of this?" she pointed to a wooden crank. from what she could understand, it was a test of strength, the aim being to use one arm to get the crank to turn to a right-angle. it reminded her of an arm wrestle. "you are strong."

He saw her suppress a laugh as Aleksander had finally fixed his mask in place, the ridiculous ornate thing heavier than his simple one had been. Dacey's amusement came as no surprise and when he lifted his hand to nudge to mask back into place after it had slipped a little, Aleks couldn't help the small, albeit equally amused, sigh that escaped him. He huffed, then, offering his arm for the Princess to slip her own through. "Right. Your Highness deserves nothin' but the best," there was slight mockery in his tone, but in no way malicious. The Princess Dacey did deserve good things. That did not mean Aleks couldn't make jokes. He led them towards the stands with the Games, contemplating which one might be the best to play.

i was an isolated child

last words of a shooting star - mitski / interlude - jeremy lipking / beast monster thing (love isn't love enough) - car seat headrest / untitled - franz wright / twilight: new moon (2009) / teen idle - marina and the diamonds / my year of rest and relaxation - ottessa moshfegh / morning sun - edward hopper / look who's inside again - bo burnham / a girl ago - lucie brock-broido

THE HOLIDAY (2006) dir. Nancy Meyers

TRUTH SERUM

feel free to ask anything, in character or anonymously, and my character will be forced to answer truthfully.

Send a question to: dacey - devani - norbie - minty - conall - halima - ben - tion - elia

anya's assumption that dacey was someone who could adapt well took the princess by surprise, for that was never how she saw herself. it was why she rarely left the confines of winterfell, where she felt most at ease. wherever she went, there was a feeling of being ill at ease, as though everyone who surrounded her was simply waiting for her to do or say something that would see her judged. at least in winterfell, she knew the places where she would not be seen.

"i'm flattered, but i've never felt that was the case." she admitted. "but we endure it, don't we?" and dacey endured it because she had to, because the queen in the north was dead, her elder sister was gone, and now she found herself the oldest of the stark princesses. there was nobody to hide behind anymore. the quiet places where she most found comfort were no longer hers to occupy. "but there are friends here, i think. i hope it is the same for you."

it must be. the more anya spoke, the more dacey was reminded that she had seen far more of the continent than the princess had, that she had lived an entire life before entering the world that dacey had been born into. "at least we are here together," she pointed out. "a home from home whilst here." it was a comforting thought. she wished she had words of wisdom to offer, but she would wager that she knew even less of the west than anya did, and did not think nasir manderly's words of caution would be particularly helpful in this moment. "i think it is best to be wary," it was as close as she would get to repeating the words of the north's hand. "but we are here for a celebration. it would be good, i think, to indulge your curiosity whilst enjoying what king tyland has in store." whatever this trip would throw at them, it could not be worse than the crownlands.

A foot in one world, a foot in another. Anya still felt that way; a lady by title and having a place in King Owen’s court while remaining a bastard by birth in the eyes of many, someone who still maintained a certain link to her life before. She couldn’t fully cut it, admittedly. In the North, that sense of being what she was, who she was, did not bother her at all. She was surrounded by people who had known her for a long time, people who knew what she stood for and the value she brought. In other realms, it was different, perhaps in none more than in the West.

It was somewhat of a relief to hear the Northern princess admit she felt out of place as well. If someone like Dacey felt that way, it almost was a sort of permission to feel it too. She was justified in her thoughts if the princess doubted as well. “Really? I always saw you as someone who adapts quite well to foreign places,” Anya confessed that thought, for she always saw the princess carry herself with confidence and grace.

The princess’ second admission managed to bring a little smile to Anya’s lips. “It’s not awful. I may have been thinking the same,” the raven-haired lady chuckled softly, raising a hand to cover that little laugh that escaped her. It felt as though the walls had ears and she wanted no one but the princess to hear her own confessions. “I know so little of the West in comparison to other places. I never travelled much here in the past,” she said, for her trips for blade commissions generally took her to the Vale, the Riverlands, or the Reach. The West was as rare a destination as was Dorne, one for the distance and the other for their reliance on their own master blacksmiths, she supposed. “I’m a little curious about this place. But I'll admit I am more intimidated than I am curious,” Anya added with a little shrug. She'd been crossing paths with some people who piqued her interest in a land and a culture so different from her own, but there was something in the court of lions that did make her uneasy, for they seemed like statues of ivory and gold; unapproachable in their elegance, saintly or heroic, but always untouchable.

"discipline can be learned," there was a softness to her gaze when she spoke of her sister, entwined with something a little stronger, protectiveness present, too. "spirit and talent are half the battle, and cassana has both in abundance." it was something she had always admired about her littlest sister, her strength and her courage something dacey felt she herself lacked.

she did not know her other cousin too well, lucius' own younger sibling. whenever they had encountered one another, talk had been awkward, the two of them never finding anything to connect with. she was not sure why it was different with lucius, but it was. "he'll be all right though, won't he?" despite her lack of a connection with ben, a hint of worry found its way on to her face. "i've heard he's a fair fighter. he'll be able to hold his own?" it was a question she phrased to lucius, as though she were waiting for him to confirm.

her gaze shifted the the opposite river bank. it was indeed a calmer place, and in that moment, dacey knew what he was doing, in directing her attention to it and making it sound as though it was to his benefit. gratitude flooded her expression, and she bobbed her head in a nod, a little too quickly. she was eager to get a little space, away from the feeling of everything pressing in on her at once.

"as long as you don't mind me taking you away from the opportunity to bask in your victory," her smile was almost sheepish. "i think i would appreciate a walk. please, lead the way?"

Lucius let out a low chuckle at Dacey's comment about her sister. “Aye, your sister is talented. She lacks discipline, though,” he pointed out, having made that conclusion after seeing his other Stark cousin's skill with the bow. Though his comment could have sounded stern, there was a faint trace of something warmer in his eyes. There was a quiet pride that his Northern kin could hold their own in a skill he valued so deeply.

At the mention of his brother, Lucius’s gaze drifted for a moment to the grounds where the melee had yet to begin. “No doubt Ben will be bleeding and grinning by the end of it, as if that counts as victory,” he said in a light tease of his little brother. Bloody Ben was formidable, of course, and perhaps Dacey wasn't wrong in thinking the brothers of House Blackwood could earn more than one victory together. “If it happens, it might annoy a Bracken or two, which is always worth toasting about”.

Her confession about the crowds made him nod. Lucius didn't often spill truths about himself, but he understood what it was to feel at odds with such large gatherings. They had different reasons for it, of course. “It can be exhausting,” he agreed, taking note of the subtle discomfort in his cousin's body language. Dacey was very different to Agnes in terms of personality, but the bastard felt a similar drive to protect his kin as he did with his sister.

“Have you ever taken a walk along the other side of the Red Fork?” he asked, tilting his head in the direction he meant. There was a thin wooden bridge that connected the area they were in and the calmer plains on the opposite bank of the river. “I could use a walk,” he offered, giving Dacey the opening to step away from the loud merriment of the festival for some time.

long had dacey been on friendly terms with anya, but as with most of the people she knew, there was a distance between the two, put there by dacey herself. long had she struggled with concepts like friends, even as she observed others making them so easily. her circle had always been small, and lonely. but the northern court had been shrunken by loss. it had pulled dacey from her self-imposed isolation, but what had it done to anya, when two of those losses had been people dacey knew she had held close? she could do nothing about that, except offer herself as a meagre replacement. trying to step into the shoes of the dead seemed to be all she did, these days.

and she nodded her head, for she understood what anya meant. she felt it, too. the feeling of not belonging was not uncommon for dacey, though lessened much when she was in the north. though the kingdom had been fractured and split, though many of the houses had bled for her family or against them, it was still her home. outside, the title of princess was just that - a title. the mystery of the princess alysanne attested to how little protection it afforded her. and yet, any anxieties must be felt two-fold by anya, and she could understand why that would be so.

"i don't think i will ever get past that feeling," she confessed. "of feeling out of sorts here, i mean. this place is not for me." there was a grandeur to the west directly at odds with dacey's simpler, more unassuming way of being, and she liked it not, as though in trying to be inconspicuous, it only made her stand out like a sore thumb amongst the splendour. a beggar at a ball. nasir manderly's warning echoed in her ears, and her expression grew weary. "is it an awful thing to say that i already want to go home?"

Anya knew deep down that she would never truly be a proper lady, for there was a part of the raven-haired lady that continued to keep a steadfast hold on who she'd been before. It felt a betrayal of sorts to forget her origins, to dismiss what had led her to be where she was at present. Yet, she certainly had been willing to adopt the right mannerisms and speak the proper words when it was needed, for she didn't dismiss her current role title either.

Both Lady Manal Manderly and Queen Rosalyn had been tutors of a sort for Anya in terms of becoming a Northern lady. It had been a horrible turn of fate that both young women perished at such young ages. Women that Anya had even grown to consider her friends. The last remaining person who had offered sporadic assistance on that account was the very person she'd found just now.

“Yes, I've just finished unpacking,” she replied with a quick nod and a brief smile. Was she alright? She'd skipped that question altogether. Anya was not not alright, though, but she did feel a bit of an anxious feeling nestled within her. It was unpleasant knowing she could be read so easily. “I am still getting accustomed, I suppose. Getting past the sense of feeling out of place here,” she added with a light wave of her hand, vaguely gesturing around. “The Western court is different from our own”. All courts were different in their own way, and Anya had been to all regions of Westeros at this point in her life, though not always as a titled woman. But there was a very distinct feeling about the Westerlands and the elevated majesty of it all.

the offer of tea should not have come as a surprise to dacey. for as long as she had known lillith, she had known her to brew her tinctures. and yet, something in it caught dacey off guard, anyway. she couldn't quite put her finger on the reason for it, why the offer, given so simply, set her ill at ease, but she tried not to dwell on it.

instead, she gave a small nod of her head, glancing towards lillith, then the fire, and then back again. "that sounds lovely," she said, and she meant it. tea did sound lovely. she was being ridiculous, as usual. "i've never been one for the strong stuff. tea will be enough, thank you."

her gaze returned to the hearth, watching the flames flicker. she was always one more comfortable in the quiet, something lillith knew well, but there were times when it felt awkward to dacey, as though she should be offering words, but she just couldn't reach them. it took an enormous amount of effort to bring herself to speak, though when she did manage it, there was relief in hearing her own voice sound even and steady.

"i imagine it tastes of the woods, your blend. birch and honey." there was a thoughtfulness to her voice, inviting lillith to fill the spaces between it. "of ironoaks?" she looked to her then for confirmation. "it would be nice to share something from your home."

even when dacey had briefly found herself in the vale in the past, she had never seen ironoaks, though its name alone conjured a picture - tall trees, straight and strong, standing guard upon the mountain. would the vision in her mind compare to the real thing? or was she entirely wrong? "i hope when i visit, i don't bring enough of the snow to be cruel. just enough to make everything quiet for a little while."

lillith gave a quiet hum of acknowledgment, the corners of her mouth twitching in something like amusement—small, fleeting, but there all the same.

“if you did, i suppose it would serve the vale right,” she mused, mismatched eyes flickering toward the hearth as if measuring its warmth. “perhaps then they’d stop pretending the mountain winds are anything but frigid.”

she was silent for a moment, letting the fire crackle between them, the weight of dacey’s words settling in the space they occupied. the north is as much a part of me as the marrow in my bones. a sentiment she understood, though her own bonds had been forged differently. she had never felt trapped in ironoaks, precisely, but there was an expectation to remain, to endure. it was not always an unwelcome thing. but there was something about the way dacey spoke that made her wonder if the cold in her bones was comforting, or suffocating.

without much preamble, she said, “i could make you some tea.”

it was not quite a question, nor was it particularly warm, but there was a quiet sincerity in the offer. lillith was not one to fuss, not one to coddle, but she knew the value of small comforts. and, if nothing else, she had a fair hand at brewing something strong enough to warm through the bones.

“i brought a blend with me from ironoaks,” she continued, shifting slightly as if already preparing to follow through. “black tea, with birch and a bit of honey. it’s good for the cold. unless you’d rather something stronger?” a wry note entered her voice, though her expression remained unreadable.

closed starter for @nasirofmanderlys

dacey was not a bold person. she had little of her siblings courage. when she entered a room, it was with her head lowered, determined not to draw attention to herself. she did not covet the feeling of eyes on her, but the last few months, though fraught with the stress of loss, had had the unintended side effect of pushing her from her comfort zone. more visible and more involved than she had perhaps ever been, she held her head a little higher these days, even if only to give the impression that she actually knew what she was doing.

however, if there was anybody guaranteed to send her scuttling from the room, gazed fixed firmly on her own feet, it was nasir manderly. it wouldn't be accurate to say dacey did not like nasir - it was just that she was very, very aware that he held little regard for her. being unnoticed wasn't something that bothered dacey much. she actually preferred that, in many ways. but nasir manderley's words, so long ago, had given her the distinct impression that he plain disliked her, and that, she found harder to deal with.

and so, she responded in the only way she knew how - by completely avoiding him. if she entered a room and saw him there, she shot to the other side of it, or made her excuses and left. it wasn't a snub, on her part - simply a desire not to force her company where it. a kindness.

and so, when she noticed nasir in this room, she was quick to say her goodbyes and take her leave. that was, until she heard someone calling her name. she turned to look for who had called out to her, but failed to spot them. what she did see was nasir, standing close enough to her that she couldn't avoid him without being rude, and looking her dead in the eye.

"lord manderly," she managed to keep her voice steady. that was about all she managed, though. her mouth opened, then closed again, her brain completely devoid of all logical thought. how long had it been since she'd last spoken to him? she had to say something. "have you been to the westerlands before?" it was good enough.

"a fresh start, then." it felt odd to offer a fresh start to a man who she barely knew, who aside from shared grandparents was essentially a blank slate, but dacey was glad to offer it. there was no offence to be taken by either party, no perceived snub to try and overcome. she did not know, if a familial connection was what she was looking for, if she'd find that in lucius rivers, but she also knew that it would not sit right with her to overlook his existence. the circumstances of his birth did not alter the fact she shared just as much blood with him as with any of his siblings.

his words were coarse, but dacey laughed anyway. "it was something," she found herself agreeing. "it couldn't end soon enough. i was more than glad to take my leave of it." it had been too hot, too smelly, too much of everything for dacey, too used to the quiet of winter and her own company.

"i'm sure they would, and i'm very grateful for it, but i hope not to intrude too long." this was a necessary stopover, not a planned visit, and she could not help but think that her presence was more of a burden than a pleasure. "does it please you?" she did not know where the question came from, but it had spilled from her lips before she could bite it back.

Lucius Rivers was bound by blood to House Stark, and yet he had nowhere near as close a bond to them as his brother and sisters did. Some of the Stark pups had been fostered in the Riverlands, some made it a point to spend time in the company of their kin, but the bastard of Raventree Hall had never engaged enough to feel a true familial bond if he were honest.

Dacey Stark was much too fragile in his mind, a quiet and reserved young woman who lacked the grit he'd seen in other Northern folk. Her company wasn't disagreeable, though, if only because she was one of the few who regarded him as she were regarding any other of the true-blooded Blackwoods. “No apology is needed. I did not seek your company or that of your siblings while in King's Landing, so that makes us even,” the Riverlander stated plainly. “That fucking place was a nightmare,” he found himself agreeing in less cordial language than Dacey's. Fuck diplomacy now, there was no lizard king or lords to offend in earshot.

“You're welcome to visit anytime you like, Dacey. I'm sure Ben and Maggie would gladly welcome you anytime you wished to visit,” the man assured her, for it was his brother and sister who made all the choices about their house, not the hag who clung to the title of Lady of Raventree Hall. “Or if you hope to extend this visit. It pleases them to have cousins around”.