Cyclicdaydreams - Exponential Apotheosis

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

もなよさんのツイート: “やめーやwwwwww ”

PFFFT-

can I legally have my body divided into fifths upon my death and be buried in five separate cemeteries

Black Friday summarized in one low budget meme.

teacher: what year was the battle of yorktown

me: 1781

teacher: why did you say it like that

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