In My Own Little 'I Can Help *this* One' Scream Into The Universe, I've Been De-stringing The Feet Of

i absolutely do not want a fourth season of nbc hannibal but what i do want is for the existence of this current version of iwtv to drive bryan fuller into crowdfunding a 12 minute independent film in which hugh dancy and mads mikkelsen’s unnamed characters erotically murder each other in increasingly fantastical dream sequences until they are interrupted by a mysterious figure with a gun, whereupon we discover that they have been narrating these scenes to each other while having just some pretty average ‘fiftysomething guys who have been having kinky married sex for eight years now’ knifeplay time in their little villa full of murder trophies or whatever

Always thought a fun horror piece would be a twilight-zone style narrated horror series where the Rod Serling figure is both diegetic and also very clearly trying to help out the protagonists without getting caught; raising his voice at an opportune moment to distract the characters from something dangerous to look at, taking plot critical documents out of a desk and putting them in plain view in the background of shots, moving around an office during the opening Serling Speil unlocking all the doors and windows, and in the climax the protagonists are able to crawl out a previously locked window. In the final episode the freak of the week notices he’s there, goes, “oh, this asshole again,” and abandons their pursuit of the nominal protagonist in order to kill the narrator who (and this is crucial) spends the whole chase sequence moving at the exact same measured pace, speaking in the exact same measured, overprepared monologue, as the antagonist blunders into carefully-prepared environmental hazard after environmental hazard. This is the narrator’s house. You’re visiting, but he lives here, and now he’s decided that he’s the story he’s narrating is Home Alone.

Béton Brut by Ashenspire

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

stop doing this

ohhhh my god the contacts in interview are god awful. everyone is wall-eyed!!! why does hollywood do this!!!!!

Cover letter with the vampire

CV update with the vampire

Intake paperwork with the vampire

i am 30 or 40 years old i should not have to worry about ‘finals week’

ohhhhhh i am probably going to fail this chemistry class