You Drew Stars Around My Scars, But Now I’m Bleeding

Futile

Minho x reader (part 1/ part 2)

Warnings: break up, angst, mental health, suicidal tendencies, angst angst and angst haha.

"honeyyy come!! Come here i want you to meet someone" wooyoung screamed in a high squeaky voice and you smiled. It has been years since you last felt so alive, but working on your mental health and letting him in your heart was a good decision indeed, he was the nicest guy you could've ever met, except for minho. Yes. You thought about him still. A lot. Not because you still loved him but because of how guilty you felt for treating him the way you did.

If you were to go back you'd still break up with him, but maybe save him some heartbreak, maybe prove to him that he deserved all the love in the world even if you couldn't give him any. Oh how you wished you could just tell him how sorry you were. And you were a little hurt yes, you wished he'd ask more. You wished he gave you one more chance to prove yourself but yeah it was all your fault to begin with.

"go y/n he's been screaming so loud my ears will burst" seonghwa almost cried and his bride laughed, you were in the after party of one of your soon to be husband's best friend. Yes. You were engaged to wooyoung, oh how life played, never would you have guessed but here it goes.

Wooyoung was a lovely guy, and when he first met you you were on the verge of dying, the first time he met you, you were crying, shaking as you made your way to the hospital, sobbing as blood seeped past your nerves, asking for help for the first time in your life. Wooyoung was a assistant doctor and immediately got up to you, picking you up and rushing inside half panicked. Later you got to know it was his first day.

That guy gave you life when everything else was taken away, and you were grateful, so in love and thankful God gave you him. You could never begin to explain what all wooyoung has done for you but one thing everyone knew was he had saved your life and made you into the happiest version of yourself.

"y/n see how cute!!" Wooyoung yelled running towards you with a baby in his arms, a small baby boy and oh god your heart almost stopped as you watched him coddle the baby close to his head. "HE'S SO CUTE!" Wooyoung exclaimed. Oh you always wondered where he got so much energy from. "yeah!" You smiled, the baby was quiet, eating his own hand as he stared at you with big doe eyes, slightly resembling your old lover.

"hey there" you cooed, coming closer to him as you pressed a gentle finger to his cheek to which he smiled and made you grabby hands, surprising indeed but he seemed to like you.

"wooyoung! Omg you scared me don't run with him like that ever again" you heard a familiar voice and there it was, minho. Right in front of you. You couldn't believe he was here, what a small world. Your eyes blurred as you came face to face with him, both of you as shocked as the other.

"um... Hi!" You mumbled awkwardly and wooyoung was immediately on edge, connecting the fact the minho you told him about was the same minho who was bestest friends with seonghwa. Wooyoung could feel his skin crawling at the way you reacted but you smiled and held his hand, comforting him with a look of nothing but love.

"honey can i talk to minho for a moment?" You asked him and minho squeezed your hand before letting it go and getting the baby out of your arms. "Yes...just know i love you.." he uttered and you couldn't believe how much you loved him, you had always told wooyoung you wanted to apologise to minho once and the fact he respected it meant so much to you.

"hi.." minho mumbled and you could see the way his eyes were slightly relieved to see you. "you.... I'm so proud of you y/n" minho mumbled as wooyoung made his way past both of you and you couldn't help but tear up at the words. "I'm happy now!" You told him and did an awkward shrug and minho chuckled, tearing up himself.

"i know" he sighed and you couldn't hold back your tears anymore. "is he yours?" You asked referring to the baby and minho nodded, making you smile harder. "He's so cute...." - "I'm glad you're happy-" you both said at the time and sighed.

"minho... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry for everything." You told him, finally and he laughed shrugging it off as he asked more questions, and you too did, turns out he got married last year when his girlfriend got pregnant.

Oh how things turned out to be, a few years before and you could've never imagined Minho wouldn't be by your side but here we go.

"things will get better" he said but right now you could see no way that could make your heart open up ever again, no way that could make your tears stop, no way to stop the pain burning up in your eyes and chest, no way to fill up the empty space caused by your own mental illness, by your own heart.

You never thought you'd be past this, and back then you could've never guessed that minho was indeed right, both of you did a few things wrong but he loved you and so did you, and now both of you were happy. Wooyoung proved to you that just because not everyone could love you through your illness someone will always. And minho's girlfriend taught him he was enough even if someone else wasn't willing to show it to him. You both learned, both hurt, now you both were living, and nothing could've been better.

--

Alright here is part two as requested. Ik this must not be what you all wanted but i wanted to give them both a happy end they deserved. Thanks for reading i love you all

☆ regrets & replacements ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angstttt (is all i know how to do) ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> did he actually forget? or did someone make him forget? ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

a/n -> i'm gonna use the same name for the girl best friend and it's soohee, i'm sorry if that's your name babes. to the person who sent me this request, babe i'll try making a happy ending i promise (even if this is just so sad lmaooo)

maknae line

chan ✉

it wasn't weird to you that he wasn't the first person to say "happy birthday" to you that morning. he had always been busy especially in comeback season, you weren't mad, just a bit disappointed. the messages started flooding in as you looked at your phone trying to respond to everything. as the hours passed and no chan messages, no appearances at your front door and definitely no calls, you were starting to feel a bit uneasy.

you thought maybe he was planning a surprise? maybe you had to be more patient. or maybe he actually forgot and you were just waiting for nothing. either way the thoughts left your head as soon as you heard the phone ring and it was a video call from minho.

"happy birthday (y/n)!" the boys cheered and they even had a cake with them. it made you feel ten times better knowing they cared so much but it still made you wanna cry not seeing chan there, it just felt wrong. "i'm sorry we couldn't say this earlier, we were busy with practice and i'm sure your boyfriend will be there at any minute." minho said.

"i hope so, he still hasn't said anything." you responded and they all looked confused as hell. chan had been wanting everything to be perfect for your birthday day and him not saying anything was kinda weird to all of them. "did he say anything to you guys?"

"he left earlier because he said he got plans? i thought he would be right there when we called." felix said and now it was your turn to be confused. so if he wasn't here and he said he got plans? where was he? it just didn't make sense. 

"i'm gonna text him right now to get his ass to your house." jisung said as he brought out his phone and texted as fast as he could. you could read the look on his face through the screen as he read the reply and it wasn't pleasing at all. "he's with soohee." jisung said and it was like everything stopped for a moment. 

"you're not serious right now." seungmin said and you couldn't hear the boys go off anymore because it was now starting to make sense. you were never really good friends with soohee, you tried to but it was like she had another image for who she wanted to be with chan (probably herself). you decided to hang up because you couldn't really talk anymore, you were just shocked that she would go that low and that he would not care enough. 

you wanted to go out and enjoy the rest of your birthday but it's like you were glued to the couch as the hours went by and eventually chan did get home. he looked at you and took in the scene, he wasn't sure what happened that you didn't text him all day like you usually do or that you didn't come by during practice. something had to be wrong for you to be acting like this right?

"baby? what's wrong? i missed you today." he said as he tried to sit down next to you but you got up and now he was starting to understand that he was the one who did you wrong. he still didn't know why though and the vague messages from the boys today weren't helping. he felt like he wasn't in on whatever was going on and it was starting to make him panic. "did i do something wrong? i have no idea what's happening."

"can i be alone today chris? i'm just not feeling too well." you expressed and that made him worry even more. you usually would talk it out if something like this happened but you were more silent than anything. you headed towards your shared room leaving a puzzled chan behind. that's when something popped up on his phone saying "(y/n)'s birthday, don't forget to pick up all the things you ordered!" and it fucking broke him completely. 

not only he didn't say happy birthday to you, not only he forgot to pick up all the gifts, not only did he not organize everything he had planned for today. he spent the whole day with a person he knew you weren't fond of and not with you who had waited all day for him to do something. if he wasn't the worst boyfriend in the planet right now, he surely didn't know who it was. 

minho ✉

it was no secret to you that minho forgot. you weren't really bothered by it since you weren't used to celebrating your birthday all that often but it made you kind of excited to do so this year. jisung decided to join you in organizing the event and when the day arrived, he said everything was set in place and of course told you happy birthday before anyone could do so.

"is minho hyung with you?" jisung asked over the phone as you tried to get ready. that question caught you off guard as you thought he told you he was going to be at the dorms. 

"he's not in the dorms?" you asked now feeling a bit troubled and hoping for the answer you knew wouldn't arrive because if he was at the dorms, jisung wouldn't have asked in the first place.

"i was sure that he told me he would be at your house before the party." he responded but as you looked around, yeah minho wasn't anywhere to be found and now you were wondering if he would show up at all. anxiety kicked in and that was not pleasant to feel on your special day. "okay i can feel you panicking through the phone already, he might be my best friend but i'm kicking his ass for lying."

jisung hanged up all of the sudden and you tried to concentrate on your look. you knew everyone was gonna be there so you wanted to make a good impression but all that was going through your mind was "why would minho lie?" and "where was minho?". it troubled you so much that you had to call him to know what was going on. 

"(y/n)? babe? i'm kinda busy right now." hearing his voice relieved you but you were still going back and forth in your head trying to figure out. maybe he was gonna surprise you? maybe he did really forget? or maybe he just didn't care? oh god all those questions.

"minho where are you?" you asked and waited for the dreaded response, you were already assuming the worst and you were right to do so when he responded.

"i'm at soohee's house. she had a bad date with a guy and she needed me here." he said as if it was all natural like he wasn't missing out on anything and that made you want to cry on the spot but you held back. it wasn't that he chose you over her, it was that she did this all the time and he wasn't realizing how she was using him. you wanted him to be here, to show you that he cared but his actions were speaking louder than anything.

"minho do me a favor and don't show up today." you said as you hung up, leaving a baffled minho on the other side of the line. what were you talking about? okay yes he lied about seeing his friend but it was because neither you or jisung liked her at all. he was just trying to be a good friend and he ended up being a bad one and also a terrible boyfriend in the process, how did that make any sense?

"who called?" soohee asked as she came back from getting all her makeup off after a long crying session. 

"oh it was (y/n), they were pissed at me though and i have no idea why." he explained and that only made her chuckle which had him confused. what was funny about his significant other being mad at him? yeah there was nothing funny about it.

"probably because their dumb birthday party was today." she responded and it hit him like a bucket of cold water. he looked at the calendar on his phone and he wanted to actually punch a wall. he forgot his partner's birthday, he lied in the process and he chose someone else who was now showing her true colors before him over you. how the fuck would he make it up to you now?

changbin ✉

you were trying to process what was going on as you woke up and had a ton of messages but there was no changbin beside you. it was weird also how all of the texts you were getting started with "happy birthday" but the one changbin sent only said "i'm gonna be busy today, sorry that i left without a goodbye!" and it was okay, you didn't expect him to remember everything especially when he was buried with work. 

well you thought it was work at least. you didn't expect it to be something else but every single one of the boys had told you to have a wonderful day and that they were sure changbin was gonna enjoy his day off with you. so it wasn't work and now you were left to think about the endless possibilities of where he could be.

"he left without a word?" yeonjun asked as he and wooyoung dropped by. they were some of changbin's closest friends but easily became yours as well as you hung out often with them. "but he told us he had big plans for today! where the fuck could he be?"

"i have no idea. i thought the boys would know but they even told me he asked for a day off to spend it with me." you said and you started to feel a little troubled. maybe something happened? he would tell you if something was happening though especially if it was an emergency.

"let's hope he's just planning the surprise." wooyoung said and you were hoping for that, that it was all just one big confusion and he didn't forget about you. you felt incredibly lonely when they left but they had hope that his friend would appear again and that "busy" meant he was gonna show up with a million flowers to make it up to you. 

but time was passing by and no changbin appeared until midnight. he didn't expect for you to be awake at such an hour but he didn't question it as he looked at you, dry tears in your face as you sniffled. worry washed over his body as he sat down next to you and tried to get close but you wouldn't let him.

"darling? what happened?" changbin asked, feeling the tension all of the sudden. he wasn't gonna be a coward and run away from it though, if you were feeling down it was his duty to know what happened.

"wooyoung and yeonjun were here thinking that you might show up with gifts or a reservation. i thought the same for a minute but then you never showed up." you said choking on your tears and it made his heart break into pieces as he processed what was happening. his friends showed up, his bandmates probably said something too, hell even his family told him to not forget about today and what did he do? not remember his significant other's special day.

"i'm sorry (y/n). i spent all day with soohee because she needed me and i forgot to even look at the date, i had everything planned. i'm such a fucking idiot but let me make it up to you." he tried explaining but it was no use as you got up as your sobs got louder and everything he said was only making it worse. he knew that beyond you not having a good relationship with her that he chose her over you on a date that was important and that he was now too late.

"so not only did you forget. you chose to spend it with a person who clearly hates me and everything about our relationship. i think that says more about you than me, changbin." you said as you shook your head and walked to your shared room, only to close the door in the process startling him. he feared that this would be the end because there was no going back from this one.

hyunjin ✉

you knew something was off when hyunjin basically went silent mode. he left the house in the morning, not a trace of a goodbye kiss and less of a happy birthday. he didn't answer his phone calls and neither the texts messages that you were sending which was very odd on his part. he usually would spam you images or emojis but there was no sight of him.

you asked chan if hyunjin happened to be at the studio and he responded back immediately saying that he was supposed to be there for practice and still hasn't showed up. which okay you could understand him working on your birthday, you weren't insane like that but he usually got there on time. you decided to grab your things and head to the jyp building, you wanted to see him mostly. maybe he had forgotten your birthday and that was okay, you still had the rest of the day to celebrate it.

everyone as soon as they saw you said "happy birthday" or greeted you which was very nice. when you saw the boys you couldn't help but smile even if deep down inside you were freaking out. you could tell the vibe was off as well as you saw chan on his phone but you weren't shook out of your thoughts as felix talked to you.

"you shouldn't have to spend your birthday at a filthy dance studio with us. you should be celebrating!" he said as he hugged you and you returned the hug. maybe you did need this embrace after all because you were feeling a little down as hyunjin still didn't arrive.

"i just wanted to see him lix. i'm kinda worried but i'm hoping for the best." you mumbled and he nodded as he understood how you were feeling and why you weren't acting like yourself.

"he says he's coming over here, thank god." chan said and that made you smile a little but then remembered he did not pick up any of your calls yet he picked up when chan called him. maybe he was busy before? well he could've still responded to you a bit later right?

you sat down next to seungmin as he saw how you were feeling and wanted to distract you from it. it was working until everyone saw hyunjin walk in with soohee and that was the answer to all your troubles even if it brought a storm towards you and what was going to happen.

"baby? what are you doing here?" he asked with a confused look on his face and could immediately pick up the tension in the room as the boys were glaring at him and you just looked so sad. 

"oh god are you seriously looking like that because he didn't say happy birthday? how old are you?" soohee spoke and hyunjin closed his eyes as he let it sink in. he knew you two weren't in terms and this only made it worse didn't it? he left without a trace, he didn't respond to anything on his phone and he was now walking in with her as she spoke to you in such a hateful way. 

"i'm just gonna go. i'm sorry for interrupting the practice guys and hyunjin, please don't come by my apartment." you said as the tears rolled down your face and you left as fast as you could. hyunjin wanted to go after you but felix stopped him because you needed to be alone for now to heal. the knot in his throat getting tighter as he thought about how he would redeem this after he fucked up so badly.

no promises (hwang hyunjin x gn!reader)

tw: angst, suicide thoughts&mentions, please read carefully

“i don’t like life,” you started without emotion. “in general.”

hyunjin looked up at you from his sketchbook, his brows furrowed. he slightly tilted his head to the side, putting down his pencil. 

“what do you mean?” he asked gently, looking at your absent gaze. you were fidgeting with one of the pillows on hyunjin’s bed, feeling the soft pillowcase under your fingertips. 

“i’m not happy,” you mumbled, threading your fingers through the fluffy material. “life exhausts me and i just… i don’t see why i should keep going.” hyunjin put his stuff on the desk, too worried to even think about sketching anything anymore. he looked at your figure, carefully examining every detail. your hair had gotten longer - didn’t it bother you? you always said that you like to keep it shorter, but suddenly you seemed to not care about it getting in your eyes. 

hyunjin got up from his seat to sit next to you, hesitantly bringing his hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. you smiled at the action, though he could clearly see the pain in your eyes. a shiver ran down his spine, mind suddenly clouded with the darkest thoughts. 

“maybe… maybe you should rest? i know sometimes life’s too much, you don’t have to rush.” his voice trembled as he whispered those words, fear overshadowing his senses. you only shrugged your shoulders, not bothering to look at him. 

“i don’t think it’d help,” you responded, sighing. “i genuinely can’t think about anything that would bring me some sort of peace of mind. i don’t see why i should still be here.” 

“stop it,” hyunjin immediately said with a firm tone, his eyes filling with tears. “i don’t want to hear that.”

“but it’s true,” your voice cracked as the tears beamed at the corners of your eyes. hyunjin firmly shook his head but before he could say anything more you spoke again. “the world won’t stop spinning, even if i won’t be here anymore.” 

“stop it!” he shouted, abruptly standing. he ran his fingers through his hair, dishelving it completely. his face was red and wet from the tears. he looked like a mess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad. you didn’t feel anything at all. 

you slowly got up from the bed, taking a step into his direction. you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing his trembling body. he collapsed to the ground, completely breaking down, and you followed him suit, holding him as if he was about to fall into pieces. “please don’t say stuff like that. i-i can’t lose you, i love you, please don’t leave me,” he pleaded, his tears damping your shirt. “you can’t leave me.” you rubbed his back, kissing his head from time to time. i can’t promise anything, hyune, you wanted to say, but it would only break his heart even more, so you decided to stay silent.

soon his apartment was filled with his loud sobs and one would think that it was him who didn’t want to live anymore.

taglist !

@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh @xichien @linospuddin

Minho: Have I ever told you that you cook well? Hyunjin: Awww, no, you haven't! Minho: So why do you keep cooking?

awhhh, the dynamics between them are so cute

Texts from bf!Changbin when he finds another idol's photocard in your wallet

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: crack

pov: 1st/2nd person (depends on how you view it)

description: Wallet fairy Changbin is distraught over his most recent discovery in your wallet

pairing: bf!Changbin x reader

warnings: none

screenshot count: 7

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

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Buy me a coffee?

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Permanent Taglist (closed)

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyysfics @berryblog @jaydebow @junebug032 @boiohboii

*the rest of the taglist is in the comments*

im doing good!! okok so could you write smth about skz and reader having a fight (u can make up scenarios for it!) and reader goes to their shared room to calm down maybe but they suddenly cry (maybe silently ?) bcs they're overwhelmed and keeps on holding their chest whispering it hurts :( ofc skz notices so how do u think their reaction will be like?

im so sorry that was very detailed huh 😭 pls dont write it if u dont want to! sending lots of love 💕

yes i can :))

wc - 6559 // ot8 hurt to comfort

warnings - skz being kind of meanies :( but then comfort !! a bit of ghosting, fighting/yelling, reader + member being stressed and overwhelmed, cuddling/physical affection, lots of crying, a little suggestive at the end of minhos but barely it’s just a kiss lol, petty arguments, some swearing, petnames (baby, princess, babe, angel, sweetheart, my love), reader is on their period in felix’s, i think that’s it !!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

chan 

it was pretty evident that chan wasn’t the best texter. he wasn’t very consistent and always responded to things too quickly or awkwardly. he never really understood the point of texting and just saw it as an unnecessary chore. aside from this mindset, he wasn’t too bad when it came to texting you. he usually liked to check up on you when he thought of it. little texts like “how’s my baby doing today?” or “hm bet you look so pretty right now. can’t wait to come home to you later.” just cute little things that let you know he was thinking of you. since this became a habit of his, it was usually a bit worrying if he went a day or two without doing it. you were used to his schedule being crammed up or his long hours spent working, but he’d always send at least one text. 

you texted him throughout the weekend to make sure he was okay, but there was never a response. you were worried, but you still knew he could take care of himself and if something was wrong he’d figure it out. 

this is what you told yourself to keep from spiraling. but, you were only human and that meant you still worried. 

after two days of silence from him, he finally showed up very late in the night. he was exhausted, but still happy to finally be home. 

he lightly opened your bedroom door, finding you hiding under the covers. 

“baby? you up?” 

you whipped off the blankets and shot up, looking at him with relief, but then anger. 

“chris! where have you been?! why haven’t you spoken to me?” you yelled. 

he was taken aback by your loud voice and angry face, too tired to argue. 

“yn, i can explain in the morning. can we just sleep now and talk later?” he suggested. 

“talk later? are you serious? you had me worried sick! i almost called your parents! why do you do shit like this?” you yelled even louder this time. 

“why do you still not understand that my work life isn’t as easy as yours? it’s not as simple as being able to come home whenever i want, okay? i don’t know how many times i have to explain it!” he shouted. you flinched at how scary he could get sometimes. 

“get out.” you said, turning over in the bed and waiting for him to leave. 

the second he left, the tears started. you were so worried and overwhelmed that you felt the tears were coming from relief rather than stress. you were so happy to see him, but still so upset. you softly cried, holding your hand to your heart to try to ground yourself, but it didn’t help. 

chan was smart. he knew better than to just storm off like he wanted to, so he sat outside of the bedroom door in the hallway and waited a bit to cool off. he ran his fingers through his hair and continuously sighed as he thought about how worried you must’ve been. he hated disappointing you but hated scaring you even more. he was caught in his world for a while until he heard your sons pick up. 

“channie…” you cried out and he came running to your feet quicker than he realized he could do. 

he cooed at you, “oh, my baby. i’m so sorry. i know i scared you so much and i should never yell at you like that. my poor baby, i’m so sorry.”

you cried into his shoulder, squeezing your arms around his abdomen. 

“it hurts…” you wailed. 

“i know, baby. i’m sorry. just let it out and you’ll feel better. take some deep breaths, okay? i’m sorry i’m making you feel like this.” he admitted, mentally slapping himself in the face. 

he rubbed up and down your back, as you let all your tears out. you started gasping from how hard you were crying, making him freak out. 

“hey, hey, hey, you need to relax baby. let’s do deep breaths, yea? can you breathe in and out for me?” 

you nodded as he coached you through the proper breathing exercises you needed to calm down. he looked at you so fondly, like you’d break in his hands if he touched you a little too roughly or breathed too harshly. 

“that’s it, princess,” he kissed your forehead, “i’m here with you. forever. will never do that to you ever again. i promise.” 

minho 

it was finally changbin’s 24th surprise birthday party that was planned by all the boys (and yourself because without you they probably would have spoiled it already). 

you and minho both dressed up in your best outfits and made sure everyone was there on time. changbin was beyond surprised and happy by the party set up for him, it made you and minho feel quite accomplished. the one thing that was difficult though, was the amount of people that needed to be invited. it seemed like the whole industry was there because they nearly all were. 

you and the boys even went out of your way to find and invite some of changbin’s old friends from before their debut. one of them was a girl named nari who changbin grew up with. you had a bad feeling about her from the start. you couldn’t explain it and minho kind of thought you were crazy for just “assuming” that this girl was bad news. 

you were right though because the second you separated from minho, she pounced on him. 

god, how annoying was she laughing on your boyfriend's shoulder like that? throwing her stupid head back and flipping her hair. she looked at him with this creepy sparkle in her eye and a huge smile plastered on her face. you felt like you could be sick to your stomach just watching them interact. you stormed off into your bedroom, grateful that you hosted the party at minho’s apartment or else you would’ve been screwed. 

the second you sat on the bed, your chest began to heat up. your vision was blurry and your head was pounding. you clutched your dress feeling like you couldn’t breathe as you began to cry. it hurt physically and emotionally seeing some girl on your boyfriend like that. who even was she? who did she think she was at that? 

around thirty minutes went by before minho started asking everyone where you were. he ditched the girl who was making him uncomfortable in hopes to find you to make him feel better. he felt so awkward having to stand there all alone with that rando, but he didn’t want to upset her and ruin changbin’s night, so he dealt with it until it became unbearable. 

as a last resort, he decided to check his room and was beside himself when he saw you sobbing, nearly making yourself get sick from how hard you were crying. 

“woah, woah, hey? what’s wrong, yn? i’m here, talk to me. what’s going on?” he asked, trying to pry your hands from your face. 

“get off me, lee minho.” 

he winced at the use of his full name and tried to think of what could have made you this upset.

he pulled back, 

“you’re worrying me, yn. what’s going on?” he asked, now sternly. 

“go talk to that stupid bitch instead. i’m sure she’s a lot less to worry about.” you cried, turning away from him and hiding your face under his pillow. 

“is that seriously what you’re upset about? you don’t even know who she is or what happened?” he responded. 

“exactly, minho! now get out and leave me alone!” you shouted. he flinched and drew back, leaving the room to give you some space. 

his mind was spinning thinking about what you’d say to him next. were you going to leave him? did you hate him now? 

he decided it would be best to talk to chan about it. he always knew what to say and what advice was best. he told minho to let you cool down a bit but to check on you soon because it’s better to settle the problem before it gets worse. he waited another twenty minutes before coming back into his room. he quietly walked over to you. 

“yn? can we talk now, please?” he whispered, his muscles tense as he waited for you to reply. 

you groaned, 

“about what.” 

“about why you’re upset…” he said. 

“i’m upset because you were practically flirting with some random bitch and just left me to watch.” 

he sighed, rubbing his eyes and coming down on the bed to sit next to you. 

“do you think i’d ever do that to you, yn? let alone in front of all the people that mean the most to me?” 

you blinked and stayed silent, “…no” 

“exactly. i wish you would have just asked me first so i could explain the situation.” he spoke. 

“but you still hurt me either way… i didn’t like how she looked at you…” 

“you should’ve seen the way i looked at her, babe. she knew i wasn’t into it. and i told her you were my girlfriend. i even showed her the pictures i have of us hanging up in the living room. i’d never hurt you like that, yn. hm? don’t you know that?” he whispered. 

“of course, i know that, but that doesn’t make it any less scary…” you replied. 

“i know that, baby. let me make it up to you? show you that you’re the only one i see? the only one i want.” he whispered, sliding his arm up your leg and pressing soft kisses to your neck. 

“no way you’re trying to have makeup sex with me after that, you asshole!” you giggled. 

“yea, but it made you laugh, didn’t it?” 

you rolled your eyes at him, pulling him down by his shirt to give him a long, passionate kiss. 

changbin

cool, calm, and collected was the perfect way to describe changbin. he never got worked up over things and always knew to find a middle ground in any tough situation. he was strong both inside and out, always protective and always trying. he was simple and it was one of the most attractive things about him. 

because of this, it was not often that you and changbin argued. it was like he knew better than to argue as it never achieved anything and just made the two of you even more worked up. he thought it was best to talk things out and you always agreed, so naturally, arguments never happened. 

changbin has been different lately. he was quieter, less outgoing, needing more personal space than usual. you assumed it was just from stress or maybe one of those off days that everyone gets, so you brushed it off for the most part. you’d check in here and there, maybe send him a cute picture of you or leave him a sweet note to wake up to. all of these things went unnoticed by him, though, which was not like him at all. 

he had a long weekend ahead of him, so you thought it would be nice to bring him some things to keep with him while he worked 12+ hours at the studio. you got a bag of all his favorite snacks, cooked some of his favorite meals, brought him an insulated cup for his coffee, and even some extra clothes if the studio got too cold or warm. you just wanted to do something small to make him smile or cheer up a bit. 

when you arrived at the studio, you softly knocked on the door and poked your head in. you were greeted by his cute fluffy hair and a small smile. 

“hey, babe. what’s all this?” he asked. 

“i know you’ve been busy, so i thought i’d just bring a couple of things you might need. i even cooked some of your favorites.” you said, holding the bag out to him. 

he took it, placed it on his desk, and watched you as if he was expecting you to walk out. 

“well, thank you! i’m excited to eat this later. i’ll be home on friday, i think. love you.” he got up from his chair to kiss you goodbye, but you stood like a plank and just watched him. 

“nope. not leaving.” you giggled, but he didn’t laugh back. 

“yes, leaving. i love you, goodbye.” he responded. 

“why are you being mean to me lately? i just want to love you and you won’t let me.” you poured. 

“oh my god, yn. you always make it about you. this is my job! i don’t know what else you expect! just leave like i asked.” he yelled. 

no, not even just a raise of his voice. he yelled. loud. like loud enough that you’re sure the whole floor heard it. 

you nodded your head and walked out, your eyes facing the floor and your arms coming to wrap around yourself as you shamefully walked out of the building. you spent the whole trip home wiping your eyes and thinking about all the things he said. once you got home, you showered, got dressed, and instantly went to bed. you sat there in total silence until your phone buzzed:

binnie 💗: yn. i’m sorry. i’m coming home now to talk to you. i shouldn’t have said what i did and i didn’t mean any of it. please stay up for me. so we can talk?” 

you sighed and silently agreed, waiting for him to come home. 

the second he walked into your bedroom, you started sobbing. he looked so concerned and ready to see you that it broke your heart all over again. 

“no, yn, please don’t cry. i’m so sorry, baby. i take back all of it. i should’ve let you stay with me so we could talk.” he confessed. 

“it hurts, changbin… everything hurts.” you sobbed. 

“i know, princess, im sorry. you’re probably so exhausted. all of that cooking and running around and i couldn’t even sit with you for a little bit? who even i am?” he admitted, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. 

he sat on the bed and pulled your head onto his lap, you tried to hide your face in it but he didn’t let you. instead, he lifted you onto him and wrapped your arms around his torso. 

“much better. i’m sorry for snapping on you. i’m so stressed lately and i didn’t want to be working anymore, so i just yelled. i haven’t yelled like that in so long, i don’t even know what got into me. but i can promise you that it was not your fault and you did nothing wrong. okay?” 

you nodded and pushed your face into his neck, holding him even tighter than before. 

he shook his head, “no, no, none of that. talk to me, baby. tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“i’m just sad… i thought you’d be so happy seeing me and you weren’t. you just yelled at me and scared me…” you pouted. 

“i know and i can’t say sorry enough. how about tomorrow i make it all up to you? i’ll take you out to eat for every meal, buy you whatever you want, maybe we can go for a nice walk or go somewhere new? how does that sound?” he asked, kissing your forehead. 

“much better, binnie. tonight, will you just hold me?” 

and he did exactly that. even when you woke up, you were pressed so tightly against him that it felt like you could barely breathe (in the best way possible). 

hyunjin 

petty, petty, petty. that was the best way to describe any argument you ever had with hyunjin. you both weren’t the arguing type, but when you did, it wasn’t pretty. 

there were lots of silent treatments, snarky comments, and slamming of doors. you were both equally dramatic and barely able to communicate, meaning the small things always added up. 

he was slacking with cleaning the bathroom or switching out the laundry. you were holding off on grocery shopping and taking too long in the shower when he really had to pee. the list went on of the small things that would just tick each other off. 

the problem with tonight was that you promised hyunjin to be home in time to make dinner and hyunjin promised that you’d come home to a clean house. 

neither of those things happened. 

you walked in expecting everything to be spick and span. no dirty dishes, clean floors, tidied up living room, maybe even a cleaned up hyunjin waiting for you on the couch. but, nope, there was none of that. 

so as payback, you didn’t make dinner and you certainly didn’t order any either. you were just waiting for hyunjin to come back from wherever he was. when he walked into the still messy house and had no dinner on the stove or a pretty girlfriend in an apron, he was just as pissed off as you. 

“oh, look who decided to come home!” you snickered. 

“i knew you were gonna get mad at this..” he rolled his eyes and threw his keys on the counter. 

“why the fuck would i not be mad at this when you legit promised me you’d just get it done?” you replied. 

“i don’t know, yn, maybe because i have a life too? maybe because my biggest priority isn’t cleaning?” he spat.  

“we’re never going to get along if you don’t just listen to me! we’ve only lived together for three months and it’s already not working because you just won’t listen!” you yelled. 

“well if that’s the case, move out.” he asserted. 

you scoffed at him and stomped to your bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. 

you replayed his words in your head over and over again. how could he say something like that? but also, how could you say something like that?

then, the guilt hit you. you weren’t hearing him out because you were upset over some stupid glass and cloth. you started to cry, holding one hand to your chest and the other to your mouth to try to muffle your sobs. you were scared he would leave you. maybe force you to move out. maybe he’d find someone new who’d treat him better. you didn’t know. all you knew was that you’d be crying yourself to sleep that night. 

not long after you fell asleep, you were awoken by a soft knock on the door. 

“yn? are you up?” he whispered. 

you contemplated answering, not wanting to add fuel to the fire, but you got up anyways. 

when you opened your bedroom door, hyunjin looked like a mess. his eyes were red, his face was pale, and his lips were swollen and not in the way that made you want to devour his face. instead, it made your heart sting. 

“can’t sleep without you…” he pouted, his pretty face staring at the ground. 

you sighed and pulled him into the room by his hand. you led him into the bed and brought the covers up over the both of you, wrapping yourself around him not long after. 

“can’t sleep without you either, hyunjinnie. at least not the right way,” you whispered. 

he noticed the crack in your voice and brought his hands to your face, feeling the wetness on your cheeks and cringing at himself for being the cause of it. 

“were you crying, angel?” he whispered and you nodded in response. he almost cried himself. 

“it hurts, jinnie… i hate fighting with you all the time…” 

he closed his eyes, “i know, angel. i hate it too. a lot. and i’m sorry for not cleaning up when you asked me to. it was wrong on my end. you had every right to not cook and i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. i never want to make you cry, princess. next time, i’ll be sure to clean everything before you come home.” he said. 

you nod and pull yourself closer to him, sticking your face in his neck and gently playing with his hair. 

“m’sorry i snapped too… you don’t deserve that. i know you’re busy…” 

“never too busy to make my princess happy, hm? it doesn’t take long anyways,” he replied, kissing the top of your head and holding it close to him. 

han 

jisung always knew he could count on you to help him when he struggled. you were an immense comfort to him and he found so much love and satisfaction in your relationship. though, he could get a bit in his head sometimes and struggled to let you know when he needed help. he was used to this, though, so he knew exactly how to cover it up without you noticing too much. 

he had been working a lot and didn’t have as much time as he or you would like to be able to focus on himself and his well-being. he smiled less, came home later and left earlier, and couldn’t sleep well. they were all parts of his job, sure, but he never knew went to just take a break. this is when you would come into the picture and help him try to sort out some time to focus on himself, even if it was only for an hour or two. 

lately, jisung was falling down this hole again. he was overworking himself and did not take nearly enough breaks as he should’ve. you’d tell him off and try to help and he’d take it in the moment, but it never actually worked. he slowly started to spiral into his mind, unable to focus on anything else but his work or how he was feeling. 

he came home late and just wanted to sleep, but he was greeted with what seemed to be an angry you. 

“am i in trouble… why do you look like that…” he asked anxiously. 

“because i’m tired of seeing you be tired. you need to get some rest and just listen to what i tell you, jisung. i’m worried about you.” you explained. 

“you don’t have anything to be worried about, yn. this is just how my life is. i know how to handle it.” 

you smacked your teeth, “whatever you say. i’m done trying to help.” 

he turned to face you, scanning your eyes and taking a second to think before he spoke. 

“well, sometimes you think you’re helping when you’re not helping at all, so i’m glad to hear you’re done trying.” he said with a fake smile, attempting to turn around before you grabbed his wrist. 

“what did you just say?” you asked, your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear your words. 

“i said you always think you’re helping when you’re not, so thank you for saying you’re done because i didn’t want it in the first place!” he shouted. 

he’s never yelled at you like that, it made you flinch. it made you feel even worse now that his eyes were practically burning through your skull. he looked like he hated you… 

“how could you say that to me..?” you whispered to the ground and left the kitchen to go into your bedroom. 

once you hit the bed, you wrapped yourself up in the blankets and just sat there. no thoughts or distractions, just staring at the wall in front of you with no emotions. that was until you started to think about the way he was looking at you. the way his eyes grew small but his shoulders stood tall, it wasn’t like him. not at all. 

now, you couldn’t help but cry thinking about it. you held your hand to your mouth and softly cried, not even a sob, just a cry. you were too exhausted to start wailing, so you let the tears fall and the blanket sheltered you to give you just a little bit of comfort. 

two hours later, jisung came creeping into the room. he tiptoed to his closet and quietly opened the door, trying not to wake you up. he didn’t know you had been crying for the last two hours so when he heard you call for him, he practically jumped through the roof. 

“jeez, you scared me. why are you awake?” he questioned. 

“jisung… it hurts.” 

he walked over to the bed, his face covered in confusion. 

“what hurts, baby?” he asked, pulling his hand to your face and looking at you with concern. 

“and why is your face wet?” 

you sobbed now, how could he be so soft and careful after being so harsh? 

“it hurts me when you say those things! my face is wet because i’ve been crying alone all night! and you don’t even care!” you cried. 

it was now his turn to tear up, he looked like a guilty dog when he brought his eyes to yours again. 

“i know it hurts… i know it does. i’m sorry, baby. truly.” 

“if you were sorry you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” you stated, turning away from him. 

“i know that and i have no excuse. all i can say is i’m so sorry. i shouldn’t be pushing you away when we both know i need help and i’m so sorry i said those things to you. especially because i didn’t mean it… not at all.” he whispered, his hand coming to rub your back. 

you started to softly cry again, 

“no, no, no, none of that, baby. i can’t see you cry again. please? no crying? let’s just talk?” 

you didn’t respond, so he climbed into the bed and pulled you into his chest. he stroked your head and kissed the top of it, whispering that you’d be okay and you’d both figure it out together. you were too tired to talk and he understood, he mentally agreed with himself to talk to you about it in the morning. for now, he’d protect you and hold you while you slept for the night. 

felix 

considering you’ve been dealing with your period for the last 10 years, you thought by now you’d be able to handle the bad days. but today, you just couldn’t. you held your heating pad hard on your lower stomach, took painkillers, drank water, ate what you could, the list went on and nothing helped to lessen the extremes of your period. 

you also missed your boyfriend. a lot. 

he always knew what to do in scenarios like this. not only could he sense it before it even came, but he also could read your mind and figure out exactly what you wanted. maybe it was warm soup or a hot bath, maybe some chocolate or a comforting movie. he just always knew. except for this week. 

he was busy and too caught up in his things to take much notice of your pre-period struggles. you didn’t mind because you knew he had so much else going on, but today was just different. you wanted him around to take care of you and comfort you, but he would be out of the house until 8pm, if not later. 

later was the correct time as felix didn’t come home until 12. you were still curled up on the couch in your comfy clothes and heating pad when he walked in the door. 

“hey sunshine, you’re up late!” he said, walking to the fridge to get some food and water. 

you mumbled an “mm.” 

he walked over to the couch and plopped his hand on your head, you turned your head away in response. 

“what’s up with you, babe?” he asked sweetly. 

“you were supposed to be home at 8.” you pouted. 

“aww, i know sweetheart. i’m sorry. let me wash up and we can go to sleep, okay?” 

“i don’t want to go to sleep, felix. i just want to be with you. i missed you all day and you didn’t even text me or anything. i’ve been sitting here in pain just waiting for you and nothing.” you harshly exclaimed. 

“you know it’s not my fault, babe…” 

“that’s not the point, felix! you could’ve just told me you’d be gone for so long!” you shouted. 

“yea, but it’s not that simple! if i could i would have! you know they won’t let me!” he shouted back, already turning towards the bathroom. 

“you have no idea, felix!! none at all!” you huffed and rolled your eyes. 

you sat there annoyed until a wave of guilt washed over you. you couldn’t understand why you were so harsh when you’re usually so considerate of his abrupt change in schedules. in hopes of not bothering him more, you got up to go to your room, but as you walked you started to feel worse. your head was spinning and your stomach was turning by the time you opened the door, barely making it to your bed. you slumped onto the end of it and began sobbing. 

it took another twenty minutes until felix came into the bedroom, seeing you curled up on the bed and clutching your sweatshirt. 

“hey, hey, hey? what’s wrong yn? talk to me, baby.” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

“it hurts, felix. so bad. i can’t do this for another week.” you admitted. 

another week? he thought to himself…

and then the gears started turning and felix remembered the date and time of the month. 

he sighed, “oh, my baby. i understand, sweetheart. you’re okay now. i’ll take care of you. just do some deep breaths for me, hm?” 

you brought your head into his lap and the sobbing continued. he raked his hand up and down your back, shushing you and letting you know that you’d be okay. 

“i shouldn’t have gotten so upset at you, felix. i know it isn’t your fault, i’ve just been in so much pain all day and all i needed was you,” you admitted. 

his face and heart softened at your words. he loved knowing you needed him, but it still hurt him that he couldn’t always be there for you. 

“why don’t i go run a bath for you, angel? how does that sound?” 

you shook your head. 

“hmm, what about a massage?” 

you nodded,

“maybe some cuddles and we can watch youtube, too?” he added. 

“sounds perfect.” you sniffled, pressing a long kiss to his cheek. 

seungmin

“why does everything have to be a struggle with you?” 

his words rang in your ears as you walked to work. your morning started just fine, you had your breakfast and talked with him about what you’d both be doing for the day. sure, you’ll admit you complained a little more than usual, but it was just because work had been a lot on you lately. 

one of the issues seungmin carried with him was that he wasn’t very good with communication. he’d take whatever words you threw at him and just go on with his day, causing all of it to build up until he’d crash. except, he’d never really “crash”, he would just do what he did this morning which would say one small thing that was extremely hurtful. 

you weren’t trying to compare your life to his or try to make your situation sound worse, you just needed to vent a little bit. usually, he would encourage it too, but this morning it was different and you didn’t seem to notice. 

you went along with your workday the best you could until the worst came to worse and everything started to build up. you spilled coffee on your lap, you found out you missed an important assignment due date, and you forgot your lunch because in the morning you were too focused on your stupid conversation with your boyfriend. 

once you got home, you showered and went straight to the couch to catch up on your favorite show. you were so into it you didn’t even notice when seungmin came home. 

“so, you’re just going to ignore me all night?” 

you turned around quickly and gasped,

“jeez, you scared me! what the hell… i didn’t even notice you were home” you said, turning down the tv. 

“right.” he scoffed. 

“i’m serious! i had a long day, i was just trying to relax.” you explained. 

“i’m sure you did.”

“okay, enough with the sarcasm it’s annoying.” you said, rolling your eyes at him. 

“is it annoying? i didn’t even notice i was doing it!” he mumbled, still sarcastically. 

“oh my god, whatever. i’m going to bed.” 

hours went by and seungmin still didn’t come to bed with you. it made you nervous, worried he wasn’t going to come in at all, maybe even break up with you because he was so done with it all. 

before you knew it, you were softly crying to yourself. you couldn’t help but think about all the times you must’ve drained him and made him feel bad for his issues. you cursed at yourself for not being as attentive as you should be, too worried about your issues to realize maybe you were the cause of his. 

now, you were breaking down and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. you decided to walk to the kitchen to get some water in hopes that it would help you calm down, but you were stopped when you noticed seungmin was still awake. 

when you walked over to him, he was sitting straight up with his face also covered in tears. you quickly sat next to him. 

“hey, why are you crying? what’s wrong?” you asked, starting to cry again. 

“shouldn’t i be asking you that?” he sniffled, wiping his face and looking away from you. 

you push his face back to yours, 

“it hurts me when we do this. everything hurts.” you say, sinking to lay your head on his lap. 

“i shouldn’t have said what i did this morning. it hurts me when i hurt you and i shouldn’t belittle you like that..” he whispered. 

“it’s okay… i know i do it a lot.” you replied. 

“but it’s not okay and you don’t do it a lot. not at all. i just get overwhelmed and forget to tell you how i’m feeling and i’m sorry for that. i hate it about myself.” 

“don’t say that, seungmin. it’s not your fault that you can’t feel your limits sometimes.” you say, now holding his hand tightly. 

“well, i’m still sorry and i want to make it up to you. i hate knowing i made you cry.” 

“let’s just stay like this for now, okay? we can figure it out later. for now, i just want to be with you.” 

he nodded and finally laid on the couch, pulling you closer and wrapping your arms around him. 

“i love you so much. i don’t say it enough, so from now on i’ll tell you every time i think about it.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“i love you too. so so much.” 

jeongin

from friday morning to sunday night, there was no sign of jeongin. at first, you figured it was just a busy work schedule and he’d text you saturday morning explaining where he’d been, but that never came. every notification that popped up on your phone made you jump in hopes of it being your boyfriend, but it never was. you were starting to worry. you texted all his friends to see if they knew, but they were just as confused and concerned as you. it wasn’t like him to just go ghost out of nowhere, so what could he be doing and where could he be? 

you barely slept the whole weekend, you were worried sick. you constantly checked your windows and the peephole of the door, but still no sign of jeongin.

sunday night came around and you spammed him with texts and calls until your phone was hot. there was still no answer so you began to cry. you spiraled. you were so close to calling the cops and trying to figure out where your boyfriend was when you heard a knock on the door. you sprinted to it and yanked it open to see your smiling boyfriend, bags in his hands and mosquito bites covering his arms. 

“i’m home, babe!” 

you blinked and tried to calm yourself down before you spoke, but it didn’t work. 

“what the fuck, jeongin! you left me with no trace of you for three days straight! what the fuck! where were you? why are you so happy and why are you covered in bumps?” you yelled. 

and when he looked at you with confusion, you started to sob all over again. 

your knees slammed to the ground,

“jeongin. i was so- was so worried about you. you can never do that again. please, don’t leave me like that again or i’ll lose myself. and i can't lose you either. it hurts me too much when you’re gone.” you cried. 

he blinked, coming down to the floor to sit with you. he wasn’t sure what to say, trying to process your emotions and understand why you were so upset. he thought he told you he’d be gone…

“babe… i’m sorry i left and that i scared you, but i left you a note and texted you before i left… i was okay!” he softly said, now rubbing your back to try to soothe you. 

“no, you didn’t. i would’ve seen it.” 

“hm. well, i’m not sure what else to tell you except that i’m sorry.” he huffed. 

you shot him a death stare and stormed off to your room, sinking under the covers and quietly crying to yourself. 

he put his things away and got himself situated to give you some space, hoping it would help you cool down a bit. 

“babe? can i come in?” he asked, you just hmphed him in response. he walked over to the bed and sat at the edge of it. 

“i know you’re upset with me, babe. i’m sorry for scaring you like that. next time i’ll try to be more specific, okay?” 

“there won’t be a next time! i don’t want you leaving me ever again!” you whined, making him laugh. 

“okay, my love. no more leaving without you. i’m sorry.” he was nervous while replying, still new to learning how to handle someone else’s emotions, especially yours. 

you nodded and tugged him by his sweatshirt so he could come to lay with you. he rested his head on top of yours and rubbed up and down your arms. 

“missed how warm you are. and your smell. and your touch..” you started to cry again, but he shushed you before you could start. 

“no, no, no more tears. i can’t see you cry anymore. i’m here now, so let’s be happy. okay? we can be with each other for as long as you want, just no crying.” he whispered and you agreed, coming up to him to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. 

“i missed my crybaby.” he smiled. it was safe to say he’d never be leaving you again, note or not. he hadn’t said it yet, but he missed you just as much, if not more.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

note - there’s so much softness in this i almost cried 🥲 i swear there is nothing better than hurt to comfort. jeongin, seungmin, and changbin were my last ones to write bc they’re just too precious to be mean 😭. it was like that for all of them honestly. they’re just too sweet!!!! i cant picture them being mean!!!! anyways i hope u like this anon <33

taglist - @hyunverse @telesvng @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @softiejoon

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾Late night thoughts 003☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Angst | Reader x Han

You sit on the edge of the bed in the cozy cabin, the fireplace crackling nearby. Outside, snow blankets the landscape, casting a serene glow under the moonlight. Your fingers idly tracing the intricate patterns of the silver bracelet Han gave you for your anniversary.  It sparkles under the soft light, a beautiful piece that, to most, would symbolize thoughtfulness and affection.

But to you, it’s a glaring reminder of how unseen you feel.

You have always preferred gold jewelry. Its warm hues complement your complexion and resonate with your personality.

Did he forget the gold earrings you wore on your first date?

Or the gold necklace that belonged to your grandmother that you never took off? 

Yet, despite your hints and the numerous photos together, including the Polaroid he carried in his wallet, showcasing your preference for gold, he bought you silver.

And it doesn't matter. It shouldn't matter.

But you've always made an effort to understand his tastes, whether it's his favorite music, the books he enjoys, or the way he takes his coffee. You've surprised him with thoughtful gifts and planned special outings that cater to his preferences, because making him happy is important to you.

You saw him, for him.

....and he bought you silver.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” he exclaims, his eyes twinkling with excitement as he gazes out the window at the falling snow. “I know how much you love this place.”

You force a smile, your heart sinking. You despise the cold. The biting wind, the slippery ice, the snow that blankets everything in a monotonous white—it all leaves you feeling isolated and uncomfortable. Yet, every year, he plans your vacations to the snow-capped mountains, a tradition he loves and assumes you do too. 

“Yes, it’s... beautiful,” you reply, your voice lacking the enthusiasm he hopes for.

To be loved is to be seen, you think. Despite his grand gestures and constant proclamations of love, you feel invisible.

It isn’t that he doesn’t care for you—his love is evident in his actions. But he loves an idea of you that isn’t true to who you are.

With him, you feel like you’re screaming into a void. He doesn’t see your dislike for silver, your aversion to snow, or the small, simple things that bring you joy.

“I booked us another trip for next year, same place. Isn’t that great?” he says.

Something inside you snaps.

“Do you even love me?" You blurt out before you could stop yourself.

His smile fades as he turns to look at you. “What do you mean? Of course, I love you."

You look at him, the words heavy in the air between you. The silence stretches, filled only by the distant howl of the wind outside. 

How can he not understand?

"Do you?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with emotion. "Do you really love me, Han?"

He hesitates, his brow furrowing as he searches for the right words. "I...I do... Is something wrong? I thought I did everything right. I wanted to make you happy."

Your fingers clench around the silver bracelet, the cool metal digging into your palm. "But you don't see me," you continue, your voice gaining strength despite the tears welling in your eyes. "You don't see what I love, what I hate. You don't see me."  You take a deep breath and stand as he moves to get closer to you. “Han...You buy me silver when I love gold. You take me to the snow when I hate the cold. You think you’re making me happy, but you’re not. You’re not seeing who I really am.”

Han's eyes widen, realization dawning slowly. "I... I thought I did. I thought... I thought this was what you wanted. I thought you liked these things.... I'm sorry.”

"I can't do this anymore, Han," you say softly, tears now freely streaming down your cheeks. "I need to be with someone who sees me for who I am, who understands my likes and dislikes, who listens to what I really need."

Han looks devastated, his eyes filled with regret. "Please, don't say that," he pleads, reaching out to touch your hand.

But you step back, shaking your head. "I've tried to make this work, to make you see me. But I can't keep pretending that things will change."

He opens his mouth to speak, but you gently cut him off. "I need time to figure things out, Han. Maybe we both do." You shake your head, your heart aching. “You’re doing what you think I like, but you’re not listening to me. To be loved is to be seen. And I don’t feel seen.”

The realization hits him hard. He has been so wrapped up in his own ideas of love that he failed to see the person he claims to adore. He stares at the silver bracelet on your wrist, the one he chose so carefully, and sees it for what it is: 

a symbol of his ignorance.

ઇଓ Author's Note; I'm so sorry, don't hate me

ઇଓ M.LIST | Ko-Fi | Taglist | Thank you for your support ♡ | Consider leaving a comment, reblog or like ♡ | © 2024 Valkyriexo 

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ughhh it hurts so goooddd

gone - b.c

genre: angst, breakup

synopsis: you shouldn't have married me. the words rang in your head, eyes widening ever so slightly as your fragile heart finally shattered like a piece of glass, the final blow delivered by chan's words.

word count: 0.4k (short drabble)

author's note: just a short drabble to keep y'all entertained while i write my longer fics:]

"why can't you just leave me alone??" chan was on the brink of exhaustion, and you nagging at him was not helping at all.

"chan-" you began, but was cut off by him almost immediately. "no! you tell me to sleep every single day, you call me 15 times in one day, you won't let me have even a single fucking second to myself!" chan's hands gripped at his hair as he yelled, gesturing around wildly.

"i just tell you to take care of yourself! you stay up until 3am in the morning, never eat and starve yourself, you never even say a fucking goodbye in the morning when you leave!" you yelled, lips wobbling as you felt all the pent-up emotions starting to expand, rising and rising until it was pushing against the walls of your heart and threatening to explode.

"do you know how shitty it feels to have a fucking husband that feels like a long-distance boyfriend? you don't even say goodbye, you come back at 4am every day, and i haven't even seen you in a month-" you stop, a sob threatening to escape, so you compressed your trembling lips into a straight line keep the tears in, though it was a futile attempt.

"well you shouldn't have even fucking married me then! i don't need a fucking second mother bossing me around every single second of the day! this marriage isn't even fucking working!"

you shouldn't have married me.

the words rang in your head, eyes widening ever so slightly as your fragile heart finally shattered like a piece of glass, the final blow delivered by chan's words. you could only stand in place, frozen and rooted in place, tears finally cascading down your face.

"wait- no, shit-" chan could only stammer as he watched your face fall, instantly regretting what he had just carelessly uttered.

"fine." one word, yet said with so much finality. the one word that broke his heart.

hand shaking, you brought your right hand to your left, finally twisting the small band encrusted with sparkling diamonds off. your wedding ring.

how ironic, that the symbol of your love would become the symbol of your separation.

you slammed the ring down on the counter, grabbed your coat and keys, and walked out the front door. he knew your heart was gone, the frayed rope holding your relationship together by a thread finally snapping with the sharp knife of his words.

you were gone.

DAY 03 | A STATE OF MIND

PAIRING: bang chan x reader

GENRE: angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff

WC: 1.76k

CW: (not only) appearance insecuritues (chan), mentions of hate comments, implied panic attack/mental breakdown (chan), there's crying, and lot of kisses, y/n used like once, chan gets called baby

PROMPT: you're beatiful - the rose

well, the angst is here. trust me to take a cute song and turn it into this lol. i promise it gets better as we go, and i don't really go into much detail, but still mind the cw. i still hope you enjoy <3

title from you're beatiful - the rose

general masterlist here

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You knocked on the door to the 3RACHA + Hyunjin dorm. Tapping your foot against the ground, you waited for one of the boys to let you in. “Come on, guys, come on,” you murmured, growing more and more impatient with every second that passed. This truly was the worst time to forget your keys at home. But you were in such a hurry to get here that the thought of bringing anything but the absolute essentials, such as your phone or the keys to your own apartment, hadn't crossed your mind until you were halfway to the dorm.

When Changbin called you twenty minutes ago, begging you to come over, you weren’t thinking straight. As soon as Chan's name was mentioned, you grabbed your stuff and ran out the door. Poor Changbin didn't even get to finish what was so urgent, but that didn't matter. You will find out when you go there. What mattered was the fact that something was going on with Chan, and you were too far away from him. So there you were, in the hallway of the Stray Kids’ apartment complex, standing in front of the door like an idiot. Just as you were starting to entertain the thought of busting the door down, the doorknob moved and revealed Minho in a similarly distressed state as you. His hair was messy, his hoodie rumpled, and there were a few faint damp patches around his chest and shoulders.

“Thank god you're here.” Minho let out a sigh of relief, ushering you to come inside and towards Chan's room, not even pointing out the fact that you didn't take off your shoes. Oh, so this was really serious then. Minho was very particular about these sorts of things, so the fact that he now completely ignored one of his precious house rules spoke volumes on its own. Walking through the apartment, you noticed the rest of the members sitting or standing around, looking similarly uneasy. Hyunjin and Jisung paused their murmured conversation with Changbin to give you a small wave as a greeting, which you returned. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Seungmin comforting a crying Jeongin, but before you could inspect the scene further, you were dragged away by Minho. “Yongbok is with him right now, but he keeps asking for you,” the dancer said, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and gently nudging you towards the closed door.

“Um… Do you mind telling me what exactly happened? I kind of rushed here before Changbin got the chance to explain.” You ran your hand through your hair, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

Minho didn't make a big deal out of it. “It's been a hard few weeks for him. And you know how he is, he never tells us anything and keeps it bottled up. I don't know what set it off, but with the deadlines closing in three days and the haters getting more active lately, I guess it got too much. He broke down about an hour ago, and we don't know what to do,” he explained with the same sad and worried tone he greeted you with. You nodded, and Minho carefully opened the door.

Felix raised his head to the noise, and his eyes sparked up when he saw you. Though it wasn't the usual spark in his eyes, this time it was much more bittersweet. I'm glad you're here, and I'm sorry I can't help more. “Chris, Y/N is here,” Felix whispered in English, gently running his fingers through Chan's hair to make him acknowledge the information.

Watching the whole scene unfold in front of you, you could feel your heart breaking into a million pieces. The two boys were sitting on the bed, Chan cuddled up to Felix. At least he wasn't crying anymore, so that was already a step in a better direction. He still had his face buried in the younger one's chest, though. One of Felix's arms was steadily wrapped around Chan, while the other was now massaging his scalp. Chan looked so small and vulnerable, curled up into a ball like that. You had to fight every urge to run over there, pry him out of Felix's arms, and never let go again. But you knew you had to approach carefully.

Kneeling down next to the bed, you gently ran your hand around Chan's back, letting him know you're here. "Baby," you whispered. “Baby, it's me. Can you look at me, please?’ you said, getting up on the bed as well. Felix gave you a weak smile, and slowly, with so much care, he disentangled himself from Chan, who immediately latched onto you, grabbing you with a force you didn't think he was capable of right now. You didn't even notice Felix and Minho leaving the room; all your attention was focused on your boyfriend the moment you saw him.

“Want to tell me what happened?” you gently asked, hugging Chan tighter when he shook his head, mumbling something about wanting to just hold you for a while. You nodded with a sad smile. “Of course.” He'll tell you later, if he wants to. For now, you would just hold him, knowing that just your presence helped him. He said many times in the past that just being close to you always made him feel better. But now that saying has reached a completely new, heartbreaking level. You watched Chan get comfortable with a stinging pain in your chest. It hurt to see him like this, clinging to you like he's drowning and you're the only thing keeping him above the water.

For a while, you just stayed, intertwined with one another. For the whole time, your fingers gently brushed through Chan's soft curls because you knew it always helped to ground him. As the minutes passed, you felt how Chan's breathing slowly steadied, and he was coming out of his current state. 

Feeling him move, you smiled and helped him into a more sitting position, but you still kept your firm hold on him. Reaching over for the bottles of water Minho brought in some time ago, you handed one to Chan. “Feeling better, baby?”  

He took the bottle and opened it, bringing it to his lips. He set it back down and nodded in response to your question. “I'm sorry… Don't know what…” he mumbled. “The deadlines and comments... It was too much.” 

“Shh, it's okay.” You began stroking his hair again. “They're wrong. Whatever they said to you, they're wrong.”

Chan looked at you. His eyes, always so sparkly and happy, were now heavy with sadness. “They said that I'm not a good leader. That I don't deserve to be an idol because I'm ugly with no talent,” he whispered.

You felt a burst of anger inside you. “Channie,” you said, more insistent this time. One of your hands came to rest on his jaw, your thumb gently caressing his cheek, while the other interlocked your fingers with his, holding his hand tightly. “They're wrong. You're a great leader. No one loves the boys more than you, and we both know you'll do anything for them. You take care of them, of me, of other artists in your company. You protect them when it's needed, and you help them grow and achieve their own success outside of the group. Are those the qualities of a bad leader?” 

Chan shook his head slightly. 

“Exactly. You are the best leader they could ever ask for.” You smiled at him, hoping to convey how much you loved and appreciated him with that one smile. And it might have worked. His face lit up a tiny bit. Blink and you would have missed it, but at this point in your relationship, you were so accustomed to Chan that you sometimes felt like you could read his mind.

“And I don't know who said that other thing, but they need their eyes checked,” you continued. “You are beautiful, Chan, inside and out. From your adorable curly hair..." You reached to kiss the top of his head. “Over your eyes, your nose, your entire face, to your lips.” After every feature, you placed a kiss on that spot, and your heart swelled with happiness when you heard soft giggles coming out of Chan at the fact that he was being showered with kisses all over his face. “And even if the haters don't think that, who cares? Their opinion doesn’t matter. Beauty is much more than looks. It's the personality as well. You have thousands of fans ready to tell you the same because it's true, but you need to believe it yourself. Please try, for me?”

You leaned in to press a final kiss on Chan's lips. When you pulled away, you noticed tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “Oh god no,” you murmured. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. Just as you thought he was getting better, you made him cry again.

“Happy tears. It's happy tears,” Chan quickly said, noticing you getting into your head. “It's okay, you didn't do anything,” he assured you, a small smile creeping up on his face.

“I should be the one telling you that,” you chuckled, cupping his face in your hands and wiping the tears away. 

“Can't have you steal all the spotlight, can I?"

That did get a full laugh out of you. A joke. That meant Chan was coming back. “I'm glad you're feeling better,” you said, your voice sweet and sincere.

“Thank you. For being here and... and helping. I promise I'll try for you,” Chan said, and you lit up at his words. It was going to be a long and difficult road, for sure, but this was already a huge step in the right direction. Then he yawned and snuggled up closer to you. You stroked his back a few times. It was understandable. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. “I'll go tell the boys you're okay, and then I'll come back so we can sleep, okay?”

You got a murmured okay in response. Smiling, you gently laid Chan down on the bed and gave him a last kiss into his hair before walking towards the door. When you looked over your shoulder before exiting the room, he was curled to himself just like before, but this time his breathing was slow and steady, his face calm, as his body was finally ready to let go and relax.

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