Un-Breaking Up

actually, this is cute

We cry together

Pairing: Idol Hyunjin × non Idol Gn!Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, drabble

Request: Can I request reader who’s an en empath and when she senses that hyunjin has been sad lately she starts crying and then that makes hyunjin cry too and finally open up to her about what’s wrong😭🩷

Warnings: none I can think of

A/n: I think you requested this like last year💀 I'm sorry for taking so long but hopefully you'll like it!

Hyunjin hasn't been himself lately, and you knew that better than anyone else.

His eyes were darker than usual, like he was feeling tired all the time. He'd barely joke around anymore or do his dramatic antics. You knew he wasn't being his normal self, however you didn't know why.

"I'm fine, don't worry" was his usual response to any approach you'd have. Just like now. A whole week had passed and he still was walking around like a zombie - a zombie who'd always fake a smile to try to make you feel a little bit relieved.

You didn't know what else to do. You tried to talk just to hear lies about how he was feeling alright. You tried to comfort him just to realise that he was wearing a barrier around him. You tried to be there for him just to realise that he himself wasn't there, nor anywhere. He was so inside his mind that the real world was inexistent to him.

With this dilemma inside your mind, the whole day had already passed and it was time to bid goodbye. He didn't look at you though, and his "goodnight" was such a whisper that you doubt he meant to say that at all.

Now that's a funny thing about loving someone. You don't only have feelings for them, you have their feelings. If they are happy you're gonna share their smiles. If they are angry you're gonna share their screams. And if they are sad, even if you don't exactly know the reason, you're bound to share their tears.

So when you hug Hyunjin as a farewell, you can't help but cry. You didn't mean to, but the more you cried the more helpless you felt and just tried to find comfort in your lover by hugging him tighter, hoping that you wouldn't disturb him. However, your sobs made Hyunjin come back to earth and back to you.

"Love?" he asked with a soft voice "are you crying?"

You didn't reply at first. Oh, how embarrassing it was to cry like that for no apparent reason. But Hyunjin took your face in his hands and looked at you with the kindest eyes to ever exist. It was the first time in the whole week that he looked at you properly. You didn't realise how much you missed it.

"What happened?"

"I should be the one asking this, Hyunjin. You've been weird for God knows how long and you refuse to tell me what's wrong."

A mixture of confusion and guilt showed up in his eyes before he dried your face with his thumb "You're crying because of me?"

You smiled. Not because you found it funny, but because you couldn't believe the situation itself.

"I just... I just want you to know that you can trust me. I'm here. For whatever you may need or want. Even if I can't solve the problem, I hope that at least we can cry together."

Hyunjin hugged you closer before you could see his tears forming. It was kinda contradicting, really. But for Hyunjin, the way you were already crying together ended up solving the problem in his head, at least for enough time for him to breathe again.

"Do you think I could sleep here tonight?" His voice was a little bit muffled, his face in the crook of your neck, but his words resonated in your skin. You felt he was little to little coming back to life.

"Of course. Why's that?"

"I wanna trust you tonight. I'll tell you everything. Just let me be here with you, please."

"Always."

Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

Dividers by @enchanthings

Bang Chan (Stray Kids) Fics Recommendations

* - recently updated || 27 Mar 2024

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Perfect

Genre: light angst, fluff, suggestive

Cw: Dancer!Minho x Gn!Reader, cheating, past relationship trauma, minho is struggling to get over it, happy ending don't even worry, he's cute and awkward (my favourite min to write)

Wc: 4.8k

Summary: He wanted to not be affected by his past relationship, but it had been 7 months and he still couldn't just confess to you.

AN: This was so fun to write!! I contemplated going further at the end but I didn't think the whole fic was giving smut vibes you know, but let me know what you think!

"Min," you called from the comfort of his sofa, fingers tapping away on your phone while your other hand massaged the soft fur on Dori's head. The rhythmic purring created a tranquil melody in the room.

He glanced at you through the open doorway, your question interrupting his thoughts, and for a moment, his heart pumped at the domesticated scene before him so much that he almost forgot to reply.

He managed a thoughtful, "Yeah?"

"Why haven't you invited me to your party tomorrow?"

Oh.

Minho froze, feeling the weight of your gaze on him, watching his shoulders lift slightly. There was no room to pretend he hadn't just been caught off guard. It was in moments like this when he cursed your uncanny ability to speak your mind confidently, something that he had never been able to do.

The last thing he wanted to do right now was to reveal more than he was ready for- especially without confessing the unspoken feelings he had for you. Ones that he had been trying to push away. But he didn't want to offend you either.

"It's.. not a party," he mumbled, looking down at the unfinished sandwich he had been making. "More of.. a get together."

"With all your friends?" you scoffed, prompting him to glance up, meeting your now-intense gaze.

The phone had been abandoned in your pocket, and he felt a surge of discomfort at your sudden undivided attention. The desire to run away from the conversation tugged at him, the tempting option of faking a heart attack to get out of it seeming like the best one.

"Why don't you want them to meet me?"

"It's not that.." He began, the words faltering on his tongue, but despite his efforts to deny it, he knew it was exactly that.

One of Minho's past relationship had left him weary, the betrayal he had experienced had broken his trust and left him uneasy at the thought of opening up to anyone new. The wounds inflicted by his ex-partner's infidelity ran deep despite how much he tried to get over it as quickly as he could.

There was no time limit on grief and healing, he knew that, but he felt as if it had been long enough now- 7 months, and he was still so hung up on the feeling of someone who he thought was one of his closest friends and his girlfriend running around behind his back.

Despite his facade of indifference that he made sure to emphasize when they were both telling him they didn't mean to hurt him, Minho had made the painful decision to sever ties with both his friend Woojin and his ex-girlfriend the moment he discovered what was happening behind his back. For months, mind you, he didn't let himself he convinced by their cries.

They wouldn't have done it if they cared.

He had acted as if their actions hadn't fazed him, burying the hurt and anger deep within himself. But despite his attempts to move on and just forget, here he was, still thinking about it, still letting it linger.

As much as Minho tried to deny it, those ghosts still haunted him and hung over something potentially happening with you. The fear of being hurt again had tainted his view on introducing his friends and his love interests, causing him to view every interaction through a lens of suspicion and doubt. He couldn't shake the feeling that history might repeat itself, even though he felt that he could trust you- he knew that he could if he even stepped up and told you how he felt for you.

But.. he was just your friend. At the moment, he wouldn't even have an excuse for getting hurt again if you did happen to like one of his friends more than platonically.

He just couldn't do it. Not yet.

As he thought about the idea of introducing you to his friends, he found himself replaying memories of his past relationship, the signs of deception he had missed like when his girlfriend kept finding excuses to visit Woojin and have him come over. The thought of exposing you to his social circle filled him with dread, as if doing so would somehow invite the same pain and betrayal back into his life despite you not even being his girlfriend in the first place.

Even with his growing feelings for you, Minho couldn't silence the nagging voice in the back of his mind, whispering warnings of more hurting and avoiding his pain. Until he could just forget and move on, the prospect of introducing you to his friends remained something he didn't want to cross just yet.

And he also couldn't tell you all that.

"I didn't think you'd get along with them."

The words felt hollow to his own ears even as he was speaking them, and he knew by the look on your face that you knew he was lying. He knew it was a terrible excuse.

"If you don't want me there, it's okay," you replied calmly as you looked down, but there was a hint of dissapointment in your voice. "Just don't lie to me."

Minho felt a pang of guilt in his heart, he knew he owed you the truth- honestly, it was rich of him to withhold it from you when that's what caused all his pain and heartbreak in the first place.

Oh but he did want you there, he really did. But it couldn't be as a friend. It couldn't be as the girl from nextdoor, Minho's neighbour. He wanted you to be Minho's girlfriend, to be by his side, on his arm so that he could shield you away.

But he couldn't, of course, so he didn't invite you.

The thought of you mingling with his unfortunately attractive and funny friend group filled him with a sense of unease. He couldn't bear the idea of any of them showing interest in you, let alone the possibility of you reciprocating those feelings. The thought gnawed at him, that one of them could be better for you than him. One of them probably wouldn't keep you away and under wraps, trying to keep you all to themselves.

He knew that he had to confront his insecurities or let you in.. or let you go, just something. This current arrangement really wasn't working for anyone but him.

As you laughed to yourself and stood up, Minho felt something strange wash over him. He wanted to ask what was so amusing, to understand the thoughts racing through your mind, but the words caught in his throat when you looked up at him.

"Enjoy your party," you announced suddenly, your tone letting him know of the sadness in your words. Minho's heart sank as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

I want you there.

Just say it. Say it.

His feet were still planted in the kitchen and his mouth was still sewn shut as his front door clicked shut gently behind you.

Fuck.

It wasn't a party, it was a get together, he was definitely right about that. In his mind parties usually contain more than 8 people, and they.. party? This was just him and his friends messing about at his house, a get together if you will.

But Minho felt awful, he couldn't stomach the fact that you might be mad at him, or that he might've made you think he was embarrassed or ashamed to introduce you to his friends.

"Lighten up," Jisung laughed, passing him yet another beer. "Or tell me what's wrong."

"I'm not gonna talk even if you get me drunk," he scoffed, taking it anyway- he already was tipsy but he was confident in his ability to not blabber while drunk.

"Is it cause the girl from next door isn't here?" Seungmin smiled coyly, a delightful addition to the conversation.

"No," he defended, obviously too quick for it to be a natural lie, but he wasn't going to let up.

The girl from next door.

See, that's what he didn't want, he didn't want you to just be the girl from next door. He wanted it to be y/n, his girlfriend, who happens to also live next door.

The one who let him rant and rant about his ex girlfriend, who comforted him and told him it was okay for him to be upset and hurt- the only one he truly told that he was upset and hurt. The one who knows his cats and his house inside out, who always offers to help him and give him company, who laughs at his jokes when he knows they're not funny, who planted all your favourite flowers in his garden that you had to tend to- he suspected it was an excuse to come over but of course he didn't care, it made the view outside his window pretty, especially when you were there.

The one he really really likes, despite it all.

"Where is she again?" Felix asked, popping his head into the conversation, prompting Minho to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"She's busy," he shrugged, taking a swig from his bottle and hoping they weren't going to notice the redness of his ears.

"Doing what?"

Seungmin again, with that stupid smirk.

"She didn't say, I don't know, why would I know?"

"Alright, I got it."

The sensation of two hands shaking him from behind the couch startled him, causing him to jolt slightly and spilling beer over his shirt. He blinked, trying to process the unexpected interruption.

"Why don't you tell her how you feel already?" the voice laughed, tone filled with a mix of teasing and just a plain urge for him to stop torturing himself.

Minho's heart skipped a beat. They knew? They all knew?

Well, if they didn't, Chan certainly didn't leave room for misinterpretation.

There was no escaping it now, their knowing looks trapping him inside his head. The truth hung heavy in the air, demanding to be acknowledged.

"I- I don't.." he started, his words struggling to articulate his thoughts and fuck now he was blushing and they were all going to tease him about it and never let it die. With a sudden surge of panic, he jumped up from his seat, eager for an escape.

"I'm getting a new shirt."

As Minho climbed the stairs, grumbling under his breath, the echoes of laughter from his living room bounced up the walls.

Felix followed him up, a soft sound of a knock on his door and a short grunt from Minho as he was pulling off his shirt.

"We're just joking." He smiled, always so bright and cheerful.

"Yeah," he shrugged, pursing his lips, "I know."

"There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

"Yeah I know," he huffed, bringing his hand up to rub at his red cheeks that he hid from Felix by facing the opposite direction- digging through his drawers for another shirt.

The younger man sat on the edge of his bed, kicking his feet gently, eyeing the way that Minho was turned away. Yet another attempt from him to hide.

"You're allowed to move on, it's been long enough."

"Yeah.."

It has, right? It's been more than half a year, why is he still dwelling on what happened? He's sure the two of them aren't hung up on him after cheating on him.

"I know."

You spotted a man leaning against Minho's wall, his posture relaxed and yet commanding- in a gentle way. A surge of curiosity washed over you as you observed him, realizing that this was one of his friends, one that he for some reason didn't want to meet you. He seemed nice enough.

From his physique, it was evident that he was athletic, his muscular build contrasting with Minho's somewhat leaner frame. He had been getting bigger lately though, especially within the last few weeks.

...

It was hard not to notice.

Really, how weren't you supposed to see? It was like everytime you saw him coming home from the gym he was wearing one of those tight black shirts that accentuated everyth-

As if sensing your gaze, the man looked up and caught your eye. A warm smile spread across his face, accompanied by a friendly wave. You returned the gesture with a smile of your own.

The mystery friend beckoned you over, a sense of intrigue pulling you away from the mindless crochet you had been engrossed in. With a slight skip in your step, you abandoned the half-finished blanket for Doongie and headed to the door.

A wry smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you took in the irony. Even when you were mad at him, he was still so present- in everything. You couldn't help but be reminded of him in the simplest of activities. The thought brought a mixture of exasperation and longing.

Despite the uncertainties of whatever it was that was lingering between you and Minho at the moment, there was a glimmer of excitement in the prospect of connecting with his friend, if only for a moment before you were banished away again.

Banished may be a strong word, but it's how you felt.

You just couldn't wrap your head around why he didn't want you to meet his friends. He'd already met yours and it went great, they all loved him. Your neighbour had met your parents, even, helped them move their luggage from the car when he noticed then from the kitchen window when they came to stay with you for a weekend.

What a nice man, they had said.

"I'm Chris," the mystery man smiled, holding his hand out.

You took it gladly, "y/n, you're a friend of Min's?"

He nodded, "yeah, we dance together."

"That's so cool! How long have you been dancing for?"

One of Minhos dance friends, from his team you're guessing, he vaguely mentions them every once in a while, not that he ever gives you any information about them that you don't have to pry out of his grasp.

"Like.. years, I can't remember a time when I didn't dance."

You smiled, "that's great that you're so passionate, are you all dancers?"

He saw you looking towards the back door, a longing expression dancing across your features slightly- not wanting to reveal how much it had hurt your feelings that he didn't want you there.

"Yeah we're all dancers," Chan smiled sympathetically, he wasn't sure what was going on between you two, but it didn't take a genius to figure out you weren't happy about not being in there with the rest of them. "He didn't tell you?"

"I knew he had dancer friends but that was it."

He nodded, a thoughtful pout flashing across his lips. "Come in?"

"Oh.. no," you quickly laughed, failing at not letting your new acquaintance know you were troubled. "Min didn't invite me and I don't.. you know, it'd be rude."

"He didn't invite you?"

"No," you smiled with a pityful giggle.

Chan's brain was whirring, trying to put things together in his head- he'd said you were busy and that was why you weren't there. But you didn't seem to be busy at all, frankly. And now it's revealed that Minho didn't even invite you?

"Why wouldn't he?"

"That's what I thought," you agreed, tossing your wrists out, "I asked him a few days ago and he just made up some stupid reason."

Chris tutted, entertaining the beginning of your rant with a smile on his face as he gestured for you to continue.

Something tipped him off that you had some things to say about the situation.

"He said he was worried I wouldn't get along with you guys?"

"Stupid," he nodded.

"Yes! Thank you, I mean, it's not the end of the world if one of you didn't like me.. you know, and he's- Minho's met all of my friends and he's met my parents and I don't even know your names? "

"Damn, he doesn't mention us at all?" Chan laughed, his dimples making an appearance as he laughed at your huffed expression.

You smiled exasperatedly, "I practically know nothing."

He opened his mouth to reply, but your eyes spotted a second man who peeked his head out of the front door to see where your new friend had gone.

You waved immediately, catching his attention- and causing Chan to turn back to see who you had found.

"Oh Changbin, this is y/n," he cocked his head, and you didn't miss the questioning look he sent Chan at the mention of your name.

"Not busy?"

"Well, I was crocheting a little cat blanket 5 minutes ago but I'd much rather be talking to you guys," you smiled warmly.

"Ahh nice to meet you then," he grinned- shaking your hand, "you got a cat?"

"No, it's for Doongie, but don't tell Min."

"Surprise?"

"It won't be, but also I'm mad at him at the moment."

They laughed, leaning against the wall as you stayed your side of the painted white fence.

Your neighbour had helped you paint it actually, dropped everything to assist you as soon as you'd mentioned in a passing comment that you were tired of the reddish woodstain of it.

Navigating the emotional signals that Minho sent your way was like trying to decipher a complex puzzle with no clear solution. His actions often left you feeling confused, yet there was always an undeniable allure to him that never failed to captivate you.

It was a constant tug of war, each conflicting emotion fighting for dominance in your heart. One moment, his words or actions would make you think he liked you, and the next, he would do something like this that had you doubting it all- pushing you away and lying to you.

Despite the rollercoaster of emotions, there was a magnetic pull to Minho that you couldn't deny. Honestly, his enigmatic nature only added to how captivated you were by him, drawing you in deeper even as you struggled to make sense of his pushing and pulling.

There was a part of you that couldn't help but be utterly smitten by him. The mere thought of him never failed to set your heart aflutter even when he was being like this and you were annoyed with him.

The rest of the boys slowly filtered outside to join Chan and Changbin and you, each taking a second to introduce themselves and say hi before easily being caught up to speed on the topic of conversation. More so, investigation on why Minho hadn't wanted his friends to meet you.

They were a loud bunch, the 6 of them, and they clearly had no reservations or boundaries with personal questions- which seemed to be the only real reason you could think of that he wouldn't want them around you.

The question that hung in the air- "Do you like him?" -caught you off guard, causing your cheeks to flush with embarrassment. It was a blunt inquiry that left little room for evasion, one that you didn't expect straight away.

Despite your best efforts to maintain composure, your reaction would have been enough. With a sheepish smile, you acknowledged the obvious, knowing that there was no point in denying what was already written across your flushed face.

"That's so cute! He-" One of them started, being elbowed in the side by the one with fluffy hair that was stood besides him.

"He.. what?" You asked, observing the smiles and glances that passed between the group in front of you. You laughed, "what is it?"

As Minho descended the stairs with Felix, anticipation bubbling within him after the strangely therapeutic heart to heart he'd had with his younger member- about how he should confess, just get it over with atleast.

A sour taste filled his mouth, and his heart sank in his chest as he realized that the laughter he heard was emanating from outside the front door. Your laughter, and theirs.

Dread washed over him as he approached the open door, the sound of conversation growing louder with each step.

He couldn't help but notice the easy rapport and laughter that flowed effortlessly between you all. His heart clenched with a mixture of pride and apprehension as he watched you interact with his friends, your charisma and beauty shining brightly despite the cloudy sky.

He observed the undeniable chemistry between you and his friend group and felt his limbs grow heavy. He couldn't help but feel overshadowed by their charisma and charm, and a wave of self-doubt washed over him as he imagined you comparing him to them just like what had happened 7 months ago. Or 8, or 9, who knew when she realised Woojin was better?

He couldn't shake the thought that you might find his friends more appealing, more suited to you than he could ever hope to be. They were all disgustingly handsome, and he knew it was an undeniable fact- there was no use in hoping you didn't notice.

A hand patting his shoulder jolted him forward out of the hallway, and the circle around you parted like the red sea at Minho's arrival, tension thickening the air around the two of you as you fixed your gaze on his guilty expression. His laughter sounded nervous, an attempt to diffuse the palpable tension that hung between you.

"So you've met everyone," Minho hummed, his voice strained with anxiety as he attempted to steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable confrontation that he knew was brewing before him.

But you weren't about to let him off the hook so easily.

"Why would you tell them I was busy?" you questioned, tone laced with a mix of exasperation and disappointment. Your accusation sent a shiver down Minho's spine- he knew you could see right through him.

"Y/n," Minho mumbled, stepping closer to the fence, grateful for Chan's intervention as he ushered the rest of their friends back inside.

Minho knew he needed to address the issue now, head on, no more avoidance.

"I didn't... I-" he began, his words stumbling over each other as he struggled to articulate his thoughts.

"What's so bad about me that your friends can't even meet me?" you interrupted, your voice tinted with hurt.

"Nothing! No, no that's not-" Minho protested, his heart sinking at the thought of you thinking it was anything negative to do with you. He scrambled for the right words, desperate to reassure you that it was his own insecurities and fears.

"It's fine.. Min," you sighed, your disappointment palpable as you began walking towards your slightly ajar front door. "I won't-"

The sound of Minho effortlessly jumping the fence behind you made you scoff in disbelief, but before you could react, you felt a gentle tug on your summer dress. You met his gaze when you turned back to face him, vulnerability reflecting in his eyes.

"I didn't want you to meet them," he confessed, sucking in a breath like that was his big confession.

You knew that.

Minho blinked owlishly at you, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features as he glanced down at his hand, releasing the fabric of your dress that he had bunched up in his palm.

"I... thought you'd like them more than me."

"What?" you scrunched your face in confusion, disbelief washing over you like a gentle wave as you struggled to process his confession. The idea that Minho could doubt himself in comparison to his friends that you'd just met left you feeling bewildered and saddened.

The man who had done everything you ever asked, kept you company when you needed it, listened to you rant and vent to him more times than you could count, drank with you until he had to tuck you into bed and stumble back down to the couch because even though he was drunk too you were always his first priority. The one who brought you countless portions of food that he claimed to have leftover, who let you come over and see the cats whenever you wanted even if it was just an excuse to see him.

Minho's feet shuffled on the concrete of your doorstep.

The wind blew the falling blooms of your cherry blossom tree between the two of you- a few resting gently in his black hair as he pouted down at the ground.

"What are you talking about, Minho?"

"I thought... if you met my friends, you wouldn't... I thought I wouldn't have a shot with you anymore," he sighed. "I don't know if I ever did."

Minho's big eyes met yours and his bottom lip slipped under his teeth.

"And now I've blown it anyway, right? You're mad at me?"

He looked up, silently begging for you to just put him out of his misery- at least tell him he didn't have a chance, tell him which of his friends had inevitably caught your affection.

Tell him so that he could stop looking at you like you were his entire world, admiring the beauty in such a simple expression. Even now, with your eyes scrunched at him in disbelief, he saw a cherry blossom land in your hair- finding the sudden urge to reach over and tuck that strand of hair behind your ear.

He'd keep the flower in, it's pretty.

It suits you. It matches your pretty summer dress that you wore even though it wasn't summer- it was hardly the weather for a dress like that and yet you wore it because you liked it and god he just..

He had to tell you.

"I love you," he spoke, his voice barely audible above the sound of the birds tweeting around in the background. "And I was scared. And I didn't want you to like any of them more than me, just like she did.."

Minho's admission of self-doubt tugged at you, empathy stirring within you as you recalled the frustration you had felt when he had told you about his ex-girlfriend. The mere thought of someone cheating on Minho, the most perfect man you had ever met, filled you with anger.

You wondered how you didn't realise your feelings for him then, honestly, and god knows he was too filled with hurt to process the fact that you were telling him how amazing he was and how lucky anyone would be to have him and if you had him you definitely wouldn't ever let him go.

You couldn't bear to see him in this anguish any longer, yearning for a closure than only you could provide.

"Min," you pursed your lips, voice soft yet stern like you were telling him off for even thinking that. "I like your friends, they're cool, but.. I love you."

His eyes sparkled with the hope and relief you'd just instilled in him.

"You're so perfect, I.. I couldn't imagine ever looking at anyone the way I look at you."

Bashful laughter peaked from Minho's throat as he shook his head, his mouth opening to say something, anything, but you beat him to it. Your lips gently pressed against his, a tender gesture that left him momentarily stunned.

A squeak of surprise escaped him as his eyebrows shot up, his hands hovering in the air as if suspended in disbelief. But as the warmth of your kiss enveloped him, all his doubt melted away, replaced by a rush of overwhelming affection and gratitude.

With a soft sigh of contentment he leaned into the kiss, his hands finding your hips as yours rested on his chest, finally getting to savour the sweet taste of your lips against his own.

The muffled sound of cheers and clapping made the two of you swing your heads around in surprise. There, all 7 of his friends had their faces pressed against the glass of Minho's kitchen window, alight with joy and pride.

You and Minho shared a sheepish glance before bursting into laughter, and as he backed away to finally bring you to his 'get together', you decided it didn't even mean that much to you anymore. Not after what had just happened anyway. You'd waited way too long.

You grabbed his hand, waving goodbye to his friends and dragging the man stumbling inside your house so that you were away from prying eyes and teasing smiles.

The shy grin that graced his lips made you need to push him against the door, listen to the gasp that escaped him and watch the way his ears went bright red.

Perfect, he was perfect, down to all his little tells and quirks.

"Go easy on me," he giggled nervously, "I didn't mean to hide it for so long."

You hummed, basking in his stuttered breathing as you played with the hem of his shirt- your fingers grazing the warm skin of his stomach underneath.

"Say please."

Taglist: @linos-kitten @agi-ppangx @milf-ivy @stayinlimbo @lastgreatamericandynasty1

(taglist has two lines now, yippee!! TYSM 🫶)

If you'd like to be added to a taglist, comment under this post!

DAY 03 | A STATE OF MIND

PAIRING: bang chan x reader

GENRE: angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff

WC: 1.76k

CW: (not only) appearance insecuritues (chan), mentions of hate comments, implied panic attack/mental breakdown (chan), there's crying, and lot of kisses, y/n used like once, chan gets called baby

PROMPT: you're beatiful - the rose

well, the angst is here. trust me to take a cute song and turn it into this lol. i promise it gets better as we go, and i don't really go into much detail, but still mind the cw. i still hope you enjoy <3

title from you're beatiful - the rose

general masterlist here

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You knocked on the door to the 3RACHA + Hyunjin dorm. Tapping your foot against the ground, you waited for one of the boys to let you in. “Come on, guys, come on,” you murmured, growing more and more impatient with every second that passed. This truly was the worst time to forget your keys at home. But you were in such a hurry to get here that the thought of bringing anything but the absolute essentials, such as your phone or the keys to your own apartment, hadn't crossed your mind until you were halfway to the dorm.

When Changbin called you twenty minutes ago, begging you to come over, you weren’t thinking straight. As soon as Chan's name was mentioned, you grabbed your stuff and ran out the door. Poor Changbin didn't even get to finish what was so urgent, but that didn't matter. You will find out when you go there. What mattered was the fact that something was going on with Chan, and you were too far away from him. So there you were, in the hallway of the Stray Kids’ apartment complex, standing in front of the door like an idiot. Just as you were starting to entertain the thought of busting the door down, the doorknob moved and revealed Minho in a similarly distressed state as you. His hair was messy, his hoodie rumpled, and there were a few faint damp patches around his chest and shoulders.

“Thank god you're here.” Minho let out a sigh of relief, ushering you to come inside and towards Chan's room, not even pointing out the fact that you didn't take off your shoes. Oh, so this was really serious then. Minho was very particular about these sorts of things, so the fact that he now completely ignored one of his precious house rules spoke volumes on its own. Walking through the apartment, you noticed the rest of the members sitting or standing around, looking similarly uneasy. Hyunjin and Jisung paused their murmured conversation with Changbin to give you a small wave as a greeting, which you returned. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Seungmin comforting a crying Jeongin, but before you could inspect the scene further, you were dragged away by Minho. “Yongbok is with him right now, but he keeps asking for you,” the dancer said, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and gently nudging you towards the closed door.

“Um… Do you mind telling me what exactly happened? I kind of rushed here before Changbin got the chance to explain.” You ran your hand through your hair, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.

Minho didn't make a big deal out of it. “It's been a hard few weeks for him. And you know how he is, he never tells us anything and keeps it bottled up. I don't know what set it off, but with the deadlines closing in three days and the haters getting more active lately, I guess it got too much. He broke down about an hour ago, and we don't know what to do,” he explained with the same sad and worried tone he greeted you with. You nodded, and Minho carefully opened the door.

Felix raised his head to the noise, and his eyes sparked up when he saw you. Though it wasn't the usual spark in his eyes, this time it was much more bittersweet. I'm glad you're here, and I'm sorry I can't help more. “Chris, Y/N is here,” Felix whispered in English, gently running his fingers through Chan's hair to make him acknowledge the information.

Watching the whole scene unfold in front of you, you could feel your heart breaking into a million pieces. The two boys were sitting on the bed, Chan cuddled up to Felix. At least he wasn't crying anymore, so that was already a step in a better direction. He still had his face buried in the younger one's chest, though. One of Felix's arms was steadily wrapped around Chan, while the other was now massaging his scalp. Chan looked so small and vulnerable, curled up into a ball like that. You had to fight every urge to run over there, pry him out of Felix's arms, and never let go again. But you knew you had to approach carefully.

Kneeling down next to the bed, you gently ran your hand around Chan's back, letting him know you're here. "Baby," you whispered. “Baby, it's me. Can you look at me, please?’ you said, getting up on the bed as well. Felix gave you a weak smile, and slowly, with so much care, he disentangled himself from Chan, who immediately latched onto you, grabbing you with a force you didn't think he was capable of right now. You didn't even notice Felix and Minho leaving the room; all your attention was focused on your boyfriend the moment you saw him.

“Want to tell me what happened?” you gently asked, hugging Chan tighter when he shook his head, mumbling something about wanting to just hold you for a while. You nodded with a sad smile. “Of course.” He'll tell you later, if he wants to. For now, you would just hold him, knowing that just your presence helped him. He said many times in the past that just being close to you always made him feel better. But now that saying has reached a completely new, heartbreaking level. You watched Chan get comfortable with a stinging pain in your chest. It hurt to see him like this, clinging to you like he's drowning and you're the only thing keeping him above the water.

For a while, you just stayed, intertwined with one another. For the whole time, your fingers gently brushed through Chan's soft curls because you knew it always helped to ground him. As the minutes passed, you felt how Chan's breathing slowly steadied, and he was coming out of his current state. 

Feeling him move, you smiled and helped him into a more sitting position, but you still kept your firm hold on him. Reaching over for the bottles of water Minho brought in some time ago, you handed one to Chan. “Feeling better, baby?”  

He took the bottle and opened it, bringing it to his lips. He set it back down and nodded in response to your question. “I'm sorry… Don't know what…” he mumbled. “The deadlines and comments... It was too much.” 

“Shh, it's okay.” You began stroking his hair again. “They're wrong. Whatever they said to you, they're wrong.”

Chan looked at you. His eyes, always so sparkly and happy, were now heavy with sadness. “They said that I'm not a good leader. That I don't deserve to be an idol because I'm ugly with no talent,” he whispered.

You felt a burst of anger inside you. “Channie,” you said, more insistent this time. One of your hands came to rest on his jaw, your thumb gently caressing his cheek, while the other interlocked your fingers with his, holding his hand tightly. “They're wrong. You're a great leader. No one loves the boys more than you, and we both know you'll do anything for them. You take care of them, of me, of other artists in your company. You protect them when it's needed, and you help them grow and achieve their own success outside of the group. Are those the qualities of a bad leader?” 

Chan shook his head slightly. 

“Exactly. You are the best leader they could ever ask for.” You smiled at him, hoping to convey how much you loved and appreciated him with that one smile. And it might have worked. His face lit up a tiny bit. Blink and you would have missed it, but at this point in your relationship, you were so accustomed to Chan that you sometimes felt like you could read his mind.

“And I don't know who said that other thing, but they need their eyes checked,” you continued. “You are beautiful, Chan, inside and out. From your adorable curly hair..." You reached to kiss the top of his head. “Over your eyes, your nose, your entire face, to your lips.” After every feature, you placed a kiss on that spot, and your heart swelled with happiness when you heard soft giggles coming out of Chan at the fact that he was being showered with kisses all over his face. “And even if the haters don't think that, who cares? Their opinion doesn’t matter. Beauty is much more than looks. It's the personality as well. You have thousands of fans ready to tell you the same because it's true, but you need to believe it yourself. Please try, for me?”

You leaned in to press a final kiss on Chan's lips. When you pulled away, you noticed tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “Oh god no,” you murmured. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. Just as you thought he was getting better, you made him cry again.

“Happy tears. It's happy tears,” Chan quickly said, noticing you getting into your head. “It's okay, you didn't do anything,” he assured you, a small smile creeping up on his face.

“I should be the one telling you that,” you chuckled, cupping his face in your hands and wiping the tears away. 

“Can't have you steal all the spotlight, can I?"

That did get a full laugh out of you. A joke. That meant Chan was coming back. “I'm glad you're feeling better,” you said, your voice sweet and sincere.

“Thank you. For being here and... and helping. I promise I'll try for you,” Chan said, and you lit up at his words. It was going to be a long and difficult road, for sure, but this was already a huge step in the right direction. Then he yawned and snuggled up closer to you. You stroked his back a few times. It was understandable. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. “I'll go tell the boys you're okay, and then I'll come back so we can sleep, okay?”

You got a murmured okay in response. Smiling, you gently laid Chan down on the bed and gave him a last kiss into his hair before walking towards the door. When you looked over your shoulder before exiting the room, he was curled to himself just like before, but this time his breathing was slow and steady, his face calm, as his body was finally ready to let go and relax.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

Ex : Part II

Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⇝ Genre: Angst then Smut then angst again. Dirty Drama.

⇝ Summary: There's only one thing on your mind after 'welcoming' Hyunjin back into your life.

⇝ Warnings: Themes of Cheating, Arguing, Oral sex, Hyunjin is toxic - the manipulative type - and he seriously thinks he did nothing wrong. (I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything!)

⇝ Word Count: 3.2k

⇝ A/N: SO MANY of you wanted a part 2 to this so I tried my best + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ I hope that you enjoy the drama! 💕

✧ Part One ✧ Masterlist ✧

It took you a week. A week of crying and screaming, a week of avoiding your friends, a week of him ignoring your calls for you to realize that Hyunjin has you fucked up if he thinks that you’re going to let him get away with what he put you through. At first you just wanted to talk to him, you thought that maybe you could convince him to cut Yara off. You thought that you could change him - how cliche. You called him for three days and when you got sick of getting his voicemail you called his best friend, Jeongin. He was surprised to hear from you but he was even more surprised when you told him everything that happened. 

“Are you fucking serious?” For the first time since Hyunjin left you crying on your bedroom floor you let it all out. You told Jeongin every dirty detail of the encounter. You cried and he was there for you, he did what Hyunjin hasn’t done for months. “Is there anything that I can do? Anything you need?” 

The line fell silent as you processed his question. Your brain is telling you one thing while your heart is telling you another. You sigh as the two battle for dominance over what comes out of your mouth next. You’ve let your heart make all of the moves for the past three days. You’ve cried and you’ve screamed all in favor of lifting the crushing pain off of your chest for an hour or two. Now it’s your brain's turn to decide and it only wants one thing. 

“Ya know there is something that you can help me with.” Your heart pleads for you to choose something less drastic, less dramatic but your brain yells for it to shut up. Why should we let Hyunjin have all the fun? “Anything, you name it.”

“Revenge.”

Hyunjin came to your place four days after you spoke to Jeongin. He had cherry red roses in his hand and an apology plastered on his face. His eyes were pleading with you before he could even open his mouth but to his surprise you hugged him. You held him tight and smiled, taking the flowers and making a home for them in your favorite vase. He was stunned to say the least but he didn’t comment. He needed you. His ex did exactly what you knew she would, she took all that she wanted from him and the second that she started to get attention from somewhere else she acted like he didn’t exist. 

He tried to be the boyfriend that you’ve been wanting him to be over the next couple of weeks but he couldn’t seem to get a hold of you. Each and every time that he’d plan a date or show up to surprise you, you were already out or you were leaving to meet with your friends. You barely answered his texts and he’s more than positive that you’ve been sending him to voicemail for the past week. It’s been a month of him putting up with you blowing him off and he’s sick of it.

He decided to show up at your place two hours before your plans to talk to you, maybe he can get you to stay home and spend some time with him tonight. He misses you more than you could even imagine and he thought that you’ve been missing him too. Shouldn’t you be dying to spend time with him? 

His face drops when he gets to your front door and his key doesn’t fit into the lock, did you change it? He rings the bell, tapping his foot anxiously as he waits for you to open the door. His eyes meet yours when it swings open and you smile at him, welcoming him in. 

“My key didn’t work.” He comments as he kicks his shoes off.

“Really? That’s odd.” You shrug as you make your way to your bathroom. “I’m gonna shower.” You call to him as the bathroom door closes behind you. The click of the lock draws a sigh from Hyunjin. Not even a kiss or a hug? Just a friendly hello like you’re not even dating. He drags himself to your bedroom and throws himself on your perfectly made bed. His thoughts project onto the ceiling as he stares at it. He feels like he’s going crazy, why are you acting so weird? No affection, barely talking, barely hanging out and you’re always on… Oh no. He sits up quickly, his eyes dart around the room until it finally lands on what he’s looking for on your bedside table.

Your Phone.

He glances over at your bedroom door before grabbing it. The screen lights up and a picture of you and your friends presents itself to him. That’s funny, wasn’t your wallpaper that picture of you two from when you went to the aquarium for your second date. You always said that that was your favorite picture. When did you change it?

He glances towards the door again and swipes your screen, his brain is busy thinking of possible password combinations but there is no password. His brows pinch together in confusion, you always have a pin on your phone. He decides to worry about that later and quickly starts searching all of your apps. He goes from your instagram to your snapchat but there’s nothing. Just a bunch of reels being sent between you and Jeongin, the last person you sent a picture to on snapchat was also Jeongin. How can his best friend have time to talk to you but he doesn’t have time to text him back? He’s called him an unimaginable amount of times over the past month but he hasn’t heard a single thing back. His finger hovers over your text messages for a second too long. What if he doesn’t like what he finds? What if you’re cheating on him? How could he handle a betrayal like that? With one more quick glance towards the door he taps the app and it opens up to a conversation. Hyunjin’s heart drops when he reads the name at the top. 

“What?” An incredulous sigh escapes him as he starts scrolling to the top of the conversation. Pet names are being thrown left and right, plans are being made every single day and there are back to back facetime calls in the dark hours of the night. 

Hyunjin’s heart is pounding in his ears and his fingers are moving so fast that he didn’t even realize that he went into your shared media. He freezes and his heart drops to his ass as he takes it all in. Nudes, videos, everything that he could imagine, all of you and his best friend. All of you and Jeongin. He opens a video and his mouth goes dry at the lewd sounds that fill the room. He’s fucking you from behind with a fist full of your hair to keep your head up. You’re drooling and moaning and Jeongin is smiling, he’s fucking smiling at the camera. His shirt - wait a minute - that’s not his. Hyunjin’s eyes go wide as he studies the fabric, his best friend is wearing his clothes while he fucks his girlfriend? Unbelievable, this can’t be real.

He quickly exits the video and scrolls through your pictures. You and Jeongin in the car, in your bedroom, your living, you on your knees and him on his. Hyunjin doesn’t even bother to look at the door to make sure you aren’t coming. He can’t hear anything but the thoughts racing through his head. His finger slips and another video opens. The sound of skin against skin echoes through his ears as the video plays. Jeongin is shirtless, fucking you in front of your bathroom mirror. Actually, he’s naked, did you two shower together? Hyunjin balls a fist in the blanket under him as he watches the video.

“Say it again, baby, say it to the camera.” A broken moan escapes you as you try to follow Jeongin’s order. “Y-you’re so much better than him, fuck me so good, Innie.” Hyunjin swears that his heart broke at the sound of you. Why would you say that? You don’t mean it do you? What did he do to deserve this?

He pauses the video and drops your phone against the mattress, your texts stare back at him and he can’t help but to scroll. “That’s not yours.” He jumps at the sound of your voice and you laugh. You wander over to lazily flip through your closet with a towel wrapped around your hair and your rob loosely tied around your body.

“What the fuck is all of this?” His voice is small, much smaller than he meant for it to be but you can hear the heartbreak laced in it. You almost feel bad for him. But that’s your heart speaking, she’s not in control right now. “You’re fucking Jeongin?”

You pick out a dress and move to your mirror, you tilt your head as you hold it against your body. “Think this is too much for a dinner date?” Hyunjin scoffs, moving to stand from your bed.

“Answer me, tell me that everything that I just found is fake. Tell me that you didn’t betray me.” He has some nerve talking about betrayal. You face him, staring back at him with faux sympathy. “I was lonely when you left, what was I supposed to do?” 

“Wait for me to get back.” You turn your attention back to your closet but he calls your name before you can pick out another dress. “You haven’t been going out with your friends have you? You’ve been with him. What in your right mind possessed you to fuck my best friend?”

“Do you really care, Hyunjin? Do you really want me to tell you? Cause I’ll tell you everything but that’s not what you want to hear, is it?” He watches as you slowly step towards him, like a vixen with her eyes set on a prize. “You wanna hear me say that I love you. You want me to say that I’ll stop seeing him because I need you.” 

He’s stuck in place as he watches you, heavy breaths passing his parted lips as you read him like a book. That’s exactly what he wants, he wants you, that’s all he’s wanted for the past month. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.” His voice is a mere whisper once you reach him, like he’d scare you away if he talks too loudly. “That’s what I want.” He shudders when you bring your hand up to cup his cheek. 

“Are you touch starved, baby?” His soft gaze pours into yours but he doesn’t recognize the look in your eyes. It’s not what he wants but he’ll gladly take it. At least you’re looking at him. “Didn’t your ex touch you while you were away?”

His heart sinks and a smile creeps onto your lips. “She - she did but -” You tsk, cutting him off before he could stumble over his words further. 

“She didn’t make you feel like I do, did she?” He shakes his head, guilty eyes staring back into yours as you reach down to palm him over his sweats. “Is that why you’re back? She didn’t take care of my Hyune?”

“She’s not you.” His breath is heavy and his eyes roll back as he answers with a thick groan. You run your fingers over him with expert precision. You’ve always known what to do to get him going. “I want you, not her. Always you.”

“Untie my robe.” You whisper and he quickly obeys, fumbling with the loose knot until the fuzzy fabric falls open and reveals your naked body to him. “Wanna show me how much you want me?” He leans forward to catch your lips in a kiss but you dodge him before he can. A disapproving whimper escapes him and you puff out your lip in a fake pout. 

“Gotta be patient, my baby. Can you do that?” He nods, whimpering out a pathetic ‘yes’. His eyes follow your frame as you sit on the edge of your bed. Your eyes wander from his down to the floor in front of you and back up again. He quickly follows your unspoken instruction, falling to his knees in front of you and drooling when you part your legs before him. “Show me.”

Hyunjin latches onto your core like a desperate puppy. His tongue wastes no time exploring every inch of you that he’s missed. Hums and moans vibrate through him as he tastes you and you match each sound with your head thrown back and your fingers laced in his hair. At least he remembers how to eat your pussy the way that you like it, though you must admit that you’ve gotten used to Jeongin’s mouth on you. 

Your bed creaks as his hips buck against it in a desperate attempt to feel half as good as you do. “Fuck, come on, Hyune. Don’t tell me your best friend eats my pussy better than you.” He groans in protest, hooking his arms around your thighs to keep you open while he works against you. You gasp in pleasure, so he’s competitive? He swirls his tongue in imaginary patterns, sliding it between your folds as he takes turns sucking on your clit and fucking your pulsing hole. His hips grind restlessly against the edge of your mattress and desperate grunts fill the air once they vibrate through your core. 

“You missed me didn’t you?” You pull him back with your fist in his hair, his swollen lips glisten in the low lamp light and his eyes are glazed with fuckout desperation. “Yeah, missed you.”  He’s too deep into the brain fog to hear just how pathetic he sounds but you’re more than happy to take it all in for him. A strangled moan escapes you as Hyunjin's tongue explores deeper. You grip his hair tighter as he laps up your juices, and you arch your back to meet him. 

His thrusts against your mattress become more desperate as laps at you, The mess of your drooling cunt makes a mess all over his chin as he works desperately to get you to the edge but that’s not the part that gets you close. It’s the thought of him hoping and praying that hi tongue is fucking you better than Jeongin ever did and as you get closer to coming undone you find yourself clenching at the thought that his best friend does it better. “Shit, Jeongin, I’m gonna cum.” 

 Your orgasm rips through you with a loud moan and your body shudders in pleasure. You hold Hyunjin's head in place against your core as his tongue continues to work diligently in an attempt to help you ride out your orgasm. Once you’ve come down from your high he pulls back slowly, a single string of spit still connecting him to your cunt.

“What did you call me?” He mumbles, not even bothering to wipe his mouth clean. You stare down at him with not an ounce of care in your eyes. 

“Don’t remember.” You pull your robe closed and slide from in front of him to pull yourself up to your feet. “And I don’t care.” Hyunjin’s heart dissolves as he watches you shrug and wander back over to your closet.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles and you scoff.

“Will you stop with the pitiful tone?” He scrambles up from his knees quickly, a surge of anger running through him. 

“Come on.” He stalks over and wraps his arms around you, leaning in to kiss your neck but you push him away before he can. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“I have a date to get ready for.” You flip through your clothes and it’s only now that he notices the empty space in your closet. “Where are my clothes?” 

“I told you to take all of your shit last month.” You shrug, pulling out a dress and holding it against your body in the mirror. “You didn’t take it so I gave most of it to Jeongin. Thought about burning the rest but I donated it instead.”

He watches you silently, jaw hung slack in a frozen state of disbelief. “Are there fucking cameras in here?” He looks around, half desperate for that to be the case. “Is this a joke?”

“The only joke here is you. Did you think that you could come back here and I’d act like nothing happened?” A venomous laugh erupts from your chest. “Be fucking forreal.”

“But we just fucked, I just ate you out why would you let that happen if you’re still going to see Jeongin?” 

“You got a phone call last time. You owe me, remember?” Hyunjin can’t decide if he should be livid or desperate. He wants to yell and curse you out for being so ridiculous but at the same time he wants to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He had hoped that you understood what happened a month ago. He thought that he could count on you to see that he only did what he had to do. Yeah he cheated but if you really loved him you could move past that. 

“You’re excused. I need to get ready.” You push past him, bumping your shoulder with his but he grabs you by the waist before you can get too far, pulling you against his chest. “Don’t be like that, angel.”

 His hands run smoothly up your side, taking in every curve of you. “I know I upset you but you can’t act like you don’t want me. What happened to you forgiving me?”

His lips brush over yours slowly as he whispers. “I want you so badly, I wanna be with you tonight. Stay here with me.” You smile against him as the towel containing your hair slips off of your head and your damp curls curtain around the two of you. You run your hands up his chest, taking in each and every toned dip before you whisper back. “Get out.” You peck his lips and push him away from you with a smile.

“You’re making a mistake.” He pleads with wide eyes blown with anguish. “He doesn’t make you feel like I do, you know that.” Your ringtone bounces off of the walls before you get a chance to answer him. You reach across your mattress and smile when you see Jeongin’s name.

“You’re right.” You shrug, swiping to answer the call. “He makes me feel so much better.” Hyunjin’s jaw clenches as you press the phone to your ear with a smile. You greet his best friend with a sweet tone that used to be exclusively for him. Hyunjin is practically invisible to you as you buzz around your room grabbing accessories and planning your outfit. It isn’t until he grabs your wrist on your way to your vanity that you look at him again.

“Please don’t do this.” Jeongin’s voice is heard from the receiver before you can answer the man in front of you.

“Who’s that, baby?” He asks, and you smile as Hyunjin deflates.

 “No one.” You shrug off Hyunjin’s hold and he deflates as you passively wave him away. “That’s no one.”

Tag List: @dessianna1, @foxytoxxic, @snxfall (If you asked to be tagged and you weren't it's because you did not have your age in your bio. You MUST have your age in your bio to be tagged )

best friend Stray Kids saving you (or being saved by you) from a bad date | Chan x you

this will become a series, I’ll make a scenario like this for all the members.

genre: romance, friends to lovers

warnings: asshole guy who thinks sex is required in exchange of a dinner

“I’m sorry but I really have to go, it’s a family emergency. But I’ll call you.” This guy is really pissing you off, but he’s tall and pretty muscular and the vibes you got from him during the (luckily short) date make you uncomfortable.

“Are you really using this lazy excuse? I invited you to dinner, I’m gonna pay, so the least you could do is to put it out there!” You blink in disbelief, he really is a creepy guy. Chan is on his way though, so the thought comforts you a little. You reach into your bag and grab a few bills and, as you place them on the table, you give the guy a sarcastic smile. “I can pay for my own dinner.”

Grabbing your jacket you turn your back to him, ready to leave, but the asshole grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him. You don’t have the time to do anything because a hand is suddenly around the guy’s wrist like a vice.

“Let her go immediately or I’m going to break your arm.” You’ve never heard Chan talking with such ice in his voice and a shiver runs along your spine.

“Fuck you both. I should have known you were a frigid bitch!” the guy lets you go and raises his free hand in surrender. Before letting him go, Chan looks at you for the first time since his arrival. “Are you okay?” You nod, confused. You thought your crush for Chan was long gone, but if the butterflies in your stomach are any indication, your crush is alive and burning.

Not even 5 minutes later, in a cab with Chan sitting next to you, you catch the end of your best friend’s sentence: “…can’t believe that asshole!”

“You know what’s funny? He called me a ‘frigid bitch’. Isn’t that a bizarre insult? What does it even mean?” Now that you’re with Chan, you’re calm and not scared anymore.

You hear him laughing, shaking his head. “Like anything that came out of his mouth made any sense… but really, are you okay?” You nod again. You’re not scared, you’re not uncomfortable, but something in your chest trembles at the idea of parting with Chan. “Can you stay over tonight?”, you ask quietly.

When you close the door, the atmosphere is uncommonly quiet and tense. Did you make Chan uncomfortable? Did he have other plans? Is he annoyed with you for always needing him? As all those thoughts run across your head, he slips out of his shoes and goes straight to the kitchen, feeling at home in your small apartment. “Can I steal some ramen? I didn’t have the time to eat a proper dinner.” In lieu of an affirmative answer, you wash your hands and start preparing a quick dinner for Chan. “I’m sorry I hijacked your night, Channie.”

“What are you talking about? My plans involved ramen at the dorms and hearing Hyunjin and Jisung screaming against the tv. They started a new drama”, he explains watching you moving around the kitchen. He loves to look at you while you’re busy, while you’re too occupied with something else to notice him studying you, watching you with love in his eyes. Tonight was once again proof you only saw him as a friend and nothing more: otherwise you wouldn’t have gone on a date, right?

Wrong.

You spent ages crushing over him, but once you were sure he felt nothing for you, you tried (in vain, apparently) to get over him.

You place a steaming bowl of food in front of him and sit at the table, looking at him.

“No more lame dates. No, you know what? No more dates.”

“You let a couple of bad guys ruin your search for true love?”

Well, he’s not gonna complain, but he also doesn’t want a bad experience to scar your hopes for romance. “Nah, they’re not worth it. My perfect match is not interested in me anyway.”

Fuck, you shouldn’t have said something like that, now he’s gonna ask questions.

“Perfect march, uh?”

You wave your hand, almost slapping away the topic. “Eat your food, Chan.”

“I thought you told me everything,” he pouts and you’re a weak weak person, how can you be tough in front of his pout?

“There is someone I like, I liked him for a while but it’s unreciprocated, so there’s no point in talking about him.”

“Then he’s dumb. Tell me his name?”

“You kinda know him, so I’d rather not… you know, don’t wanna make it weird.” Chan looks at you with a weird something in his eyes you can’t really understand, but for the sake of your secret you let it slide.

“Movie?”

The movie has been on for at least an hour but neither of you is really watching it. You’re cuddled on the couch, Chan’s head on your lap and your fingers slowly playing with his hair. It’s one of his favorite cuddling positions, and you love it cause you have the chance to watch him without being noticed.

“I wish you’d tell me who he is.”

You freeze in surprise, fingers stilling on his head.

“Chan…”

“No wait, listen for a second.” He sits now, and bites his lip. “We’ve always told pretty much everything, but there are things I haven’t told you either. So I will tell you something secret about me if you tell me who he is.”

“Why do you wanna know?”

“Because!”

He’s quick to get on his feet, walking on the small carpet in front of the tv. “Because I wanna know who’s this dumb guy who is not in love with you. What’s not to love? He’s lucky enough you are interested in him, something I’d give an arm for, and he’s not on his knees worshiping you?” He then freezes, like something hit him and trains his eyes on the floor. “Forget what I said”.

What did he say? Are you drunk and incapable of understanding or Chan just said he’d give an arm to have you interested in him? Something swells into your chest and you decide to be bold for once.

“Do you like me, Chan?”

He stills his pacing, gaze still trained to the floor, and nods carefully.

“It’s you.”

“Mh?”

“The guy I like, it’s you.”

He’s gonna have a sore neck tomorrow, considering the speed in which he raises his head.

“Me?” You nod, with a hopeful smile on your lips.

“I was convinced you felt nothing for me…”

You don’t know which one of you moved first, and it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you’re kissing, now. You have his wet, soft and pillowy lips on yours, his tongue asking to be let in your mouth, your hands holding the other tight, almost to make sure this is real and you’re not going to vanish any seconds now.

“We’re such a clichè” he says on your lips, laughing cutely.

“Maybe. But I like it anyway.”

If being a clichè is what brought you two finally together, then so be it.

Just The Way You Are

A/N: Just a tiny thing to help me warm up on writing again. It sucks, but again I am still working on trying to get back to the place I once was when it comes to writing. Not edited so I am sure there are a lot of mistakes. My apologies.

Pairing: Bang Chan x Chubby Fem!Reader

Warning: MDNI! Talks of being insecure about weight, a bit of adult content, Chan being whipped for reader. Reader learning to be comfortable with her body with Chan's help.

(Also, sorta based on his bed selfies)

“You know you’re making stays go crazy right?” You laughed walking out of the bathroom your hair still wet. “Huh?” You boyfriend looked up at you like he didn’t know what you were talking about. “Christoper, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” You roll your eyes walking over to where he sat on the bed, he threw you a smirk his dimple on display, Chan grabbed your hips his hands rubbing up and down. “It was purely innocent.” He said hands lowering to your naked thighs, his eyes looking you up and down. “You look so beautiful in my shirts.” He said hands lowering to your naked thighs. You blushed and ran your fingers through his curly hair, his eyes instantly closing at the feeling. “You say that all the time.” You laugh light and then rolled your eyes again. “Plus, technically they aren’t your shirts, you don’t even wear them. They are ones we both bought for here because I’m too big to fit into your actual shirts.” The last part came out as a soft whisper, but Chan definitely heard you. His eyes were closed tight, and his jaw clenched before tonguing his cheek and looking at you with sad but dark eyes. He hated when you talked about your body negatively or even compare your size to others.

You moved away from him and sighed running your fingers through your still damp hair. “I already know what you are going to say. But Chan we both know it, I’m just learning to accept that I’m bigger than other girls.” You gave him a soft smile. “I’m learning love myself because of you. You have been a big part of that, you are also a big reason why I’m taking better care of myself including my body.” You said softly. You explaining this to him made him feel a bit better but he still hated that you saw yourself differently than how he sees you.

To him you are the most beautiful person in the world, you are his world and he didn’t care what your weight was. Of course to some people it seemed like a cliché thing to say that he loved you no matter what because he loved you for being you, your personality, the way you didn’t see him as Bang Chan of Stray Kids you saw him for his goofy and workaholic self. He loves the way you were with the kids, he loves that you understood that even though he rather be with you 24/7 that he also loves what he does, and he loves the way you understand his love for Stays. He’s just so in love with you.

You bit your lip running your fingers through his hair. “Hey dreamer what’s going on in that head of yours.” You said softly. He realized he got lost in la-la-land Chan looked down his cheeks starting to warm and let out a short and quiet chuckle before looking back up at you and grabbing your hips and pulling you close. “I was thinking how lucky I am to have you, how much I’m so incredibly in love with you.” He smiled his hands sneaking up your shirt and rubbing your sides. “How about I show you how in love I am with you. Yeah?” Chan stood up turning you and picking you up with ease, the action made you let out a surprised squeak and setting you softly on the bed before his lips brushed against yours as he climbed over you. “My beautiful girl. Perfect for me, beautiful lips, beautiful eyes, beautiful and sexy body and your sweet pussy fits perfectly around me. It’s like you were made just for me, my special angel. I’m all yours and you are all mine, and I wouldn't change it for a thing. Will you let me love you and make you feel good?” He said softly his lips brushing over your lips to your neck. One of the things you loved about Chan is that he always asked permission, even though you told him he could have you whenever he wanted. “I’m all yours.” You said softly before attaching your lips to his.

ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS ! — Lee Minho

pairing: bsf!Leeknow x fem!reader

genre: unrequited love, angst, literally straight up sadness

warning(s): mentions of insomnia, mentions of past poor eating habits, hurt, one sided/unrequited love, mentions of vomit, comparing yourself to other people(?). i think i that’s it, let me know if i should add anything else!

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you never confessed to Lee Minho, but it definitely wasn’t that he was going to magically confess to you. He was your best friend, confessing to him would mean risking ruining 12 years of friendship. Sure, you weren’t expecting him to be single but to hide his relationship from you and then announce his engagement was shocking to say the least. Especially since you were hopelessly in love with him.

You first fell for him when you were 15. You were humiliated in front of the whole school by someone who you thought was your friend. Minho rushed to your house and comforted you, spilling reassuring words and affirmations as you sobbed in his arms. His caring nature was something to not overlook. As much as he tried not showing it, he truly did care for the people he was close to.

Yet here you were, 23 years old and still in love with the man you once thought would be yours. But not everyone can have what they do wish for, right?

The night he had announced his engagement, he glanced at you with guilty eyes as your friends glanced at you with pity. They knew you loved Minho. He was the reason you never dated anyone. Minho wasn’t the best person to date in High school. As most people would have described, he kissed a lot of girls. Under the bleachers, at bus stops, at his house. Anywhere really. He was a player. And you were to watch from a distance with a pit in your stomach and tear-filled eyes.

You would sob for days knowing you couldn’t have him. Knowing your place in his life was to be his best friend and nothing more. You were there to witness everything he went through, his achievements, his worst moments, etcetera. You were there when he talked to you about his first time, when he had his first girlfriend, when he broke up with said girlfriend. And all you could do was smile and play the role of the good best friend you were.

So now you were here, at his wedding, standing behind his bride as they exchanged vows. You tried to contain the tears that were threatening to fall. Eyes landing on your dear friend Chan who gave you a sad smile.

You knew it was selfish of you to hope that he would somehow call the wedding off, or that she would, in fact. You knew you had to be happy for him, but you just couldn’t. I mean how could you, seriously? You had been in love with him for 8 years, but you never said it though. You were a coward. You still are one.

As you heard the words “You may now kiss the bride”, that’s when your entire world finally collapsed, and you were finally brought to reality. Lee Minho wasn’t yours and he was never going to be. You stood there with a smile as you clapped, hoping you didn’t look upset at all.

When the party had started, you excused yourself and headed to the restroom. You found an empty stall and crouched down, finally letting the tears you were holding in for hours spill. This time Minho wasn’t there to comfort you like he always would. He was out there with his wife. You were alone, with no comfort whatsoever.

You tried to muffle your sobs, but you were sure it was audible for the people outside the restroom. After what seemed like forever, you walk out of the stall and look in the mirror, noticing how your once perfect makeup was now smudged and your eyes were puffy and bloodshot.

You washed your face, getting rid of the excess of makeup and walked out of the bathroom, body crashing into the one and only LeeKnow.

“Y/N hey! — hey…hey what’s wrong are you okay?” His voice softened as he looked down at you, noticing your puffy eyes. His hands going to cup your cheeks until you backed away.

“Y-Yes, I’m all right. Just feeling a little sick you know. I think I might head home right now.” You noticed the ways his eyes held a sad emotion in them, he sighed and gave you a slight sad smile.

“Hope you feel all better Y/n. I’ll pack you some of the snacks at the table so you can take some home to eat later—”

“No! I- I mean, no, it’s fine. I think if I eat anything I might vomit you know. Anyways I have to go now, congratulations again.”

With that, you quickly left. Not bothering to look back knowing you would burst into tears once again. You go back to the party and grab your bag, bidding goodbye to the bride after explaining you had to go. As you were walking towards the parking lot, you heard your name being called making you stop in your steps and turn around.

Chan.

“Are you okay? Actually, don’t even answer that, obviously you’re not. I’ll take you home.” He states as he places an arm on your lower back, guiding you to his car. You sit on the passenger sit and immediately burst into tears again as Chan closes the door to his car.

“I- It hurts. It hurts so bad Chris!” You sobbed; your body engulfed by Chan as he wraps you in comforting arms. He places his palm on the back of your head and spills reassuring and comforting words. Your mind taking you back to that day LeeKnow comforted you when you were 15, eight years ago. The day you first fell for him.

“Chris, I suffered so much because of him! I- I know it isn’t his fault and I know I’m being selfish right now, but I love him. I always loved him. There were days in the past where I couldn’t get an ounce of sleep for months because of him. All I kept thinking about was him and how I would only be the best friend in his life. I stopped eating little by little because I noticed how he usually went for the girls that were really skinny and slim. I was so hurt Chris. I’m so tired. I want it to stop.” You cried, sore voice cracking in the process.

“Shh, Y/n. Listen to me. Everything is going to be okay; you have me. I’ll be by your side. I know life is kicking your ass right now, but I promise you, you hear me. I promise you everything will be okay in the end. You’ll find someone better, someone who will cherish you and love you. Trust me on it, sweetheart.”

His voice calms you down, your rapid breaths finally slowing down. Your teary eyes looking up at him as you whisper a ‘thank you’, your voice too sore for you to talk.

“No problem, that’s what I’m here for. What I will always be here for.”

linopls kinktober list '23

depending on the prompt, it could be a drabble or a 2k-4k words. please let me know which one your most excited for and please leave requests for the 31st !! (i ran out of ideas lol.)

choking jeongin x reader

titfucking seungmin x reader

makeup sex minho x reader

roleplay hyunjin x reader

first time jeongin x reader

teasing minho x reader

virginity chan x reader

breeding hyunjin x reader

oral chan x reader

praise kink changbin x reader

humiliation minho x reader

somnophilia jisung x reader

size kink changbin x reader

orgasm denial felix x reader

degradation seungmin x reader

double penetration vocalracha x reader

foursome 3racha x reader

voyeurism danceracha x reader

spanking jeongin x reader

shower sex felix x reader

lingerie jisung x reader

bondage seungmin x reader

deep throating chan x reader

sex toys hyunjin x reader

edge play changbin x reader

masturbation jisung x reader

sexting felix x reader

daddy chan x reader

public minho x reader

overstimulation jeongin x reader

request !