There Is A Parallel Universe Where Tumblr Is Actually A Great Functioning Site

charlie slimecicle will roleplay a relationship or romantic inclinations as a bit and accidentally create the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful and tragic love story about a person slowly coming into themself and learning to be loved and to love in return in ways they never believed would be possible for them because of some deeply rooted belief in their own inherent wrongness and brokenness and then he'll say some shit like "bazinga"

the pjo fandom on tumblr vs tiktok is so funny cause we've all (or most of us) have already read the entire series, we know what's going to happen so we can see the parallels and the tragedy behind it but on tiktok???

they're in love with Luke

they think he's so kind and nice and its wonderful he's percy's friend, there's no way that he'd be evil - I've seen theories that annabeth is going to be the one who betrays percy (prior to ep4)

the tonal shift is insane and I can't wait to see all these first time viewers lose their fucking minds

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

John Dory’s dating history in a nutshell

Kim Dokja attracts rich people.

(it has been sitting in my notes app for too long.)

It’s because he’s a scammer, Yoo Joonghyuk growls.

It’s because he’s pathetic, Han Sooyoung grins.

It’s because he’s hot, Sun Wokong winks— only to be smacked upside the head by Secretive Plotter, who says it’s because he’s interesting

Uriel’s answer was too long and incoherent to include.

Surprise triplets 😂

not to be boring but I like when evil characters.... well not become “redeemed,” more like they become domesticated. its just delightful when like an evil monstrous little bastard man goes from committing murder to getting mad someone misplaced their costco card or left the jar of mayo on the counter all day.

🔲 relax shoulders/unhinge jaw

🔲 stretch in any way that feels comfortable

🔲 go find+drink some water or any refreshing drink

🔲 deep breath

🔲 resume your silly activity of choice

My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.

Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.

So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”

The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”

So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.

The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.

The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.

This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.

I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.

I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.

Meet Ingo’s partner!

The one and only!

A Litwick!

Litwick’s a panic capture and she knows it.

As a firm believer of half the depot agents in BW2 being either ghosts or pokemon (or both), a litwick with vague telepathy isn’t too out of question, me thinks.

Bonus:

Feel free to add any headcannons! This is lawless lands now.